Scale says 166, my mind thinks of me as 136

pjfarm

Hi all, I am so sorry I haven't replied to each if you, I have been really busy at work and hadn't been back to the community thread pages.
I feel so much better hearing from all of you. I think I feel very strong and confident personally and professionally and until I look at a full length mirror or my reflection in a window I don't see my size at all. I get that that is a healthy attitude but it isn't healthy in body. As a pear shape I am supposed to be predisposed to some health benefits/challenges. Over time though, continuing to carry the extra 30 lbs will effect my knees, etc. I am just trying to balance out in my pysche who I am. Big, little, confident, striving for healthier. Thank you for your perspectives.

thevolp

I felt the exact same way and I'm very close in height and weight. I was always about 130 and felt enormous and then started gaining and stopped checking my weight out of fear. When I came in at 169 I was shocked but didn't feel much bigger than before because I have ALWAYS felt like a giant. But I feel thinner than someone at my weight should feel too. I think it's a coping mechanism because of I'm constantly thinking about how heavy I am like I used to be it's depressing and dangerous for self esteem. As a psychology grad, I think it has a lot to do with avoiding constant negative emotions. That's my take.

dramaqueen45

I think it's whether you grew up overweight or thin and that's the picture you have of yourself in your mind. I am like OP and a lot of people on here- I was very thin growing up- usually one of the smallest most petite kids in the class and even was teased for being so tiny. I even got down to 125 after two children (5'4"). Over the past several years I just slowly put on weight and like others, I never really saw it in the mirror because somehow I was still that thin person in my mind. It was only when I saw myself in a photo that I would think "who is that?" and "how did she get so overweight?" I know others (like on here) who are the opposite and after losing weight still see themselves as very overweight because they grew up as "the fat one" and that's their image of themselves in their mind.

pjfarm

It is so facinating to me. I wish Oprah was still on so she could do a show about it. She probably already has. Lol.

MamaBirdBoss

I was slim after elementary school. But I have a full length mirror by my door, and being horrified by my own reflection walking past is why I started to lose.

That and I was tired of not fitting in any pants without elastic waist bands!

47Jacqueline

I thought of myself as larger than I was. It took a couple of years for my inner picture started to match the outer reality. It also took time for me to stop bringing larger sizes into the dressing room with me, just in case.

I'm 5'3" and weigh 125 to 129. I wear a size 4. I look horrible at 116, which is what I used to think I should weigh (Weight Watchers kept saying 128). I only get that low if I've been in the hospital for 2 weeks.