How to love your body? (mainly women?)
Sheseeksstrength
Posts: 138 Member
Hi!
Like most people on here, I am trying to lose weight, but I also know that I want to love and accept myself at my current weight. It may sound silly or dumb, but I think it is important. If I don't love my body now, what will 10 less pounds do? Will it ever be enough?
How do you show and tell yourself that you love your body now? I need some advice.
Like most people on here, I am trying to lose weight, but I also know that I want to love and accept myself at my current weight. It may sound silly or dumb, but I think it is important. If I don't love my body now, what will 10 less pounds do? Will it ever be enough?
How do you show and tell yourself that you love your body now? I need some advice.
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Start dressing well, wear your hair as it suits you, same with makeup. If you don't know what suits you yet "go shopping" a bit. Lots of department stores like Macy's will let you try makeup out and even help you, they'll try to sell but you don't have to buy. Go to a salon as ask them to help you choose a cut that suits you. Try on lots of different sorts of clothing.
It's basically fake it till you make it. If you put the effort in you'll start to feel better. Good luck!0 -
Weight lifting
No lie0 -
Oh yes, weight lifting too! I'm still very overweight but I've gotten awesome definition anyway! Plus it's nice to be able to lift heavy things and scare the husband from time to time0
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Realize that you are more than the outside shell. Who you are doesn't change if you're a size smaller or less jiggly or can run faster or lift heavier. You're still the same you, and you are a valuable person.
Appreciate your body for the things it can do. Think of eating right and exercise as a way to reward your body, a way to tell yourself you care about you, not as punishment for not fitting the way you want to look.
Actively look for progress instead of just relying on the scale. Measurements, how clothes fit, progress photos, fitness milestones... sometimes changes don't jump up and say, "HERE I AM!"
For me, the scale was barely budging and my measurements hadn't changed much, but when I looked at pictures in a bikini from a few months ago, I could see the fat on my back had disappeared. That wasn't a place I could easily see in the mirror and wasn't a location I measured and wasn't something that greatly affected my clothing size, but it was sooooo good to see it gone!
And when all else fails, slap on some red lipstick and fake it.
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Being grateful! Think about how worst things could be if you were not able to do everyday activities...have you every had surgery, or been so sick in pain you could not pull yourself to do simple things...So I am grateful that I have good enough health and fitness to be able to get up every morning to walk, run, lift, squat, pull, jump etc.
good luck to you.0 -
It doesn't sound silly or dumb at all. If you don't love yourself, you can lose 100 lbs and never even notice. I know because that is exactly what happened to me. It's a tough question. It's not easy. But start by actually accepting compliments people give you and really believing them. Look in the mirror every day and say nice things to yourself. Imagine a person who you really love saying wonderful things about you.. It's really a process of positive thinking and visualizing.
You're undoing negative and false programming in your brain and replacing it with positive programming. Also, like others said, if you start doing something like weight lifting, it can really boost your confidence. It might be something else in your case, but find something you can do that makes you feel good about yourself.0 -
I am a fine artist and I've spent a few hours in life drawing classes, observing and intimately drawing all sorts of body types. Spend enough time gazing at the object, whether it be an apple or a thigh, and you will build new appreciation for it.
Spend some time in front of the mirror and gaze. Touch various parts of your body and get used to its firm parts and its flexible parts. If any self critical thoughts come, let them flow through without comment.
Besides how your body looks, learn also all the cool things it can do. I am crazy fond of how my body pulls together a Downward Facing Dog. Still.
Dress in the right size, too. That helps.0 -
I am a fine artist and I've spent a few hours in life drawing classes, observing and intimately drawing all sorts of body types. Spend enough time gazing at the object, whether it be an apple or a thigh, and you will build new appreciation for it.
Spend some time in front of the mirror and gaze. Touch various parts of your body and get used to its firm parts and its flexible parts. If any self critical thoughts come, let them flow through without comment.
Besides how your body looks, learn also all the cool things it can do. I am crazy fond of how my body pulls together a Downward Facing Dog. Still.
Dress in the right size, too. That helps.
When I was in college I realized I never really looked at myself in the mirror naked. I avoided it. So I told myself I would look every day...It was the first time I really saw myself, physically almost. I had a lot of emotions and ideas. None of them were bad.
Also, I agree with lifting the weights.0 -
This UK ad campaign still moves me to tears.
http://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/jan/12/sport-england-launched-fitness-campaign-to-encourage-women-to-take-up-sport-and-exercise0 -
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Loving yourself and loving your body aren't the same thing. If I had loved my body and accepted it at its then-current weight, I'd still weigh 335 pounds. Probably more. I didn't love it. I despised it. Now a third of it is gone. Good riddance.
Love yourself: your mind and who you are as a person. Don't define yourself in terms of your body. If you do love your body now, why bother changing it? Or, hell, look at it another way: if you do love your body, stop treating it to poorly.0 -
This UK ad campaign still moves me to tears.
http://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/jan/12/sport-england-launched-fitness-campaign-to-encourage-women-to-take-up-sport-and-exercise
It is an amazing ad...still running...I love it
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aN7lt0CYwHg 0 -
crazyjerseygirl wrote: »Start dressing well, wear your hair as it suits you, same with makeup. If you don't know what suits you yet "go shopping" a bit. Lots of department stores like Macy's will let you try makeup out and even help you, they'll try to sell but you don't have to buy. Go to a salon as ask them to help you choose a cut that suits you. Try on lots of different sorts of clothing.
It's basically fake it till you make it. If you put the effort in you'll start to feel better. Good luck!
I love this idea. Find things about your body that you do love and emphasize them. Try clothes on in different colors that you might not normally wear and see if it changes your mood too.
I don't think it's silly or dumb to want to love yourself the way you are now. I think if you learn to love it now it will give you more motivation to want to take better care of it.0 -
tiffanybrooks530 wrote: »Being grateful! Think about how worst things could be if you were not able to do everyday activities...have you every had surgery, or been so sick in pain you could not pull yourself to do simple things...So I am grateful that I have good enough health and fitness to be able to get up every morning to walk, run, lift, squat, pull, jump etc.
good luck to you.
I agree with this.
I used to run regularly. After starting a job that requires a total of a two hour commute five days a week, I fell out of it. It sucks. A lot. Still been lifting fairly regularly, but not running has had a negative impact. I just started up again. Yesterday I passed an elderly woman with a cane who was walking her dog. They were moving very, very slowly. But I thought it was awesome she was still out there with her dog. The second time I passed her, she said it must be hard to run up that "hill." (It's not even a hill, just a street at a slight incline. But it is laughingly tough for me right now, I gasp ridiculously.) She said she envied me that I could do it.
As PP said, think about the things your body can do for you now, and be grateful. Then move towards helping it be able to do more things for you more easily. Aesthetics are important to varying levels for most of us. But, appreciating your body for what it does for you can go a long way towards helping you love it.0 -
I heartily second all of the above. Exercise in general (not just weights) helps me feel better emotionally, but weights have a bigger impact by far on reshaping my body.
I went through this process while I was losing weight. I spent some time thinking about what had helped me feel good about myself when I'd been at a lower weight. Some of it was the weight itself (more energy at lower weight; clothes fit better), but I realized a lot of it was taking pride in myself. What that means will vary by person, but for me it meant I should stop shuffling around in ill-fitting jeans or elastic-waist pants and a sloppy t-shirt. I started putting on a little makeup again--even just a swipe of lipstick totally changed how I felt because I'd made an effort! I started wearing a little jewelry. Pretty soon, I realized I felt a lot better about myself. Taking charge of my body and really deciding to lose weight helped too!0 -
It is not silly or dumb. However think about it this way. Loving who you and being comfortable in your body does not have to mean that you can't also be working to improve. Life is a journey. Too many people reach adulthood and stop working on things. They stagnate and then they stop living.
You should always be changing, evolving as a person spiritually, psychologically and physically. working to be a better version of yourself every day. Even is some tiny thing. Be the kind of you that makes you feel good today and then tomorrow be an even better version. Of course some days we don't feel like we progress and some days we step backward but like with weight loss it is not the short term results you should be paying the most attention to.
If you look back over time you should be able to see areas where you have grown, changed, improved and become who you are now. This is something you should do purely for yourself and not to please anyone else. You can and should be proud of who you are right now even while working on becoming better. 0 -
I was just sitting and minding my own business one day, watching TED talks on netflix, and I saw a shame researcher named Brene Brown speak. Out of nowhere, I lost my freaking mind, and I bawled like a child pretty much the entire rest of the day. It was embarrassing and I had no idea what came over me. I have since listened to several of her lectures and am currently reading 2 of her books. For me, understanding the root of WHY we numb ourselves, or WHY we tend to ignore the uncomfortable and expect nothing less than perfection, and why vulnerability feels like fear are what did it for me. It may seem like that has little to do with loving myself, but it has everything to do with it.0
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It's another habit that you have to work on along with your other healthy habits. Don't let yourself focus on the bad things about your body. Have positive thoughts. Surely you can see one thing every day to appreciate and then after a while, you'll look in the mirror and say "wow!" Instea of "oh, ****!"
It takes time 0 -
I was smaller than I am now when I decided I was too fat (among other things) to be happy with myself. I was 30lbs heavier than I am now when I decided screw it, I'm perfect, and anyone who disagrees can eff off.
All of the men in my family have criticized my butt since I was little. So I decided I would like my butt. It's mine and it doesn't do me any good not too. When my friends would say things like "does this make my butt look big?" I'd say, "who cares, because my butt looks freaking hot today."0 -
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I started with a list of 10 things I liked about myself.
I am healthy and getting stronger. I can do a lot of things with my body that have little to do with my weight.
I am me at any size.
I stopped dressing in so many dark colors/neutrals. I tried harder to get clothes that fit my body the way it was instead of wearing things that were too tight or too loose.0 -
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Aside from weight loss put your makeup on and get dressed every day.Write "I am beautiful inside and out"on a piece of paper and tape it to the mirror you look in every day.Read it each time you look in that mirror and leave that note of affirmation up as long as you need it.0
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mwayne1234 wrote: »Aside from weight loss put your makeup on and get dressed every day.Write "I am beautiful inside and out"on a piece of paper and tape it to the mirror you look in every day.Read it each time you look in that mirror and leave that note of affirmation up as long as you need it.
Make up is not a pre-requisite
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My motivational slogans are "strong" and "healthy".0
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It takes time. I'm still working on it 80lbs later, and still have some intimacy issues and general shyness. I fluctuate between this insecurity (which used to be the status quo) and between feeling happy about where I am (which still needs work, but is soooo much better than where I used to be). So, this to me says I've made some progress.
I appreciate all the suggestions here, too! I need to get back into weights.0 -
It is not silly at all, and I too believe taking good care of your body begins with loving and respecting it.
For me, loving your body passes through loving what your body can do.
It can lift heavy things for you, take you on unforgetable hikes, indulge you with long swims, elevate you with incredible sex, make you laugh with mad tickling, delight your senses in so many ways, including with food, but not limited to that. Don't think it can do all those things? I guarantee you'll be surprised if you try! Just start slow, respect its aches and pains, and look for those pleasures your body can find everywhere. It's hard not to love it after all that.0
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