Anyone else struggle with self-belief?

RolyBun

I don' think I've ever posted here before but I've struggled with weight issues for nearly all my life. I was always a chubby child which resulted in huge self-esteem problems all through school. As an adult I've yo-yo'd but ultimately just keep getting heavier. I just can't seem to convince myself that a sustained healthy weight is something I can achieve. I've not really spoken much about it before as it tends to be met with "you obviously just don't want it enough" type responses which only really make me feel worse. Obviously this isn't really the best mindset to be trying again but I just don't have the first clue on how to change it.

Nearly all of my immediate family have seemed to struggle with weight loss for the duration of my life thus far as well which makes me wonder if I've picked up bad habits that are now proving really hard to break. My mum is also signed up to MFP and has had the same thing going on as me. We have made efforts to attend Slimming world type meetings and used to regularly gym and swim when I lived with my parents though our success was always varied.

Can anyone else relate to this?

crazyjerseygirl

I struggled with weight loss for AGES, MFP is the first time it's working (40lbs in under 4mos so far)!

I wanted it before, but I was operating with bad information, eating clean, low carb, none of these things work without kcal restriction!

Give it a try!

ProfessorPupil

The hardest thing can be your own mental self image getting in your own way. I totally get what you're saying. It's the hardest of all when you've been overweight your entire life. I highly recommend this: http://www.amazon.com/Psycho-Cybernetics-New-More-Living-Life/dp/0671700758

PeachyCarol

Is it yourself or methods of weight loss that you find hardest to put belief in?

I've struggled with both over the years. I had to unpack a lot of emotional issues that led me to overeat before I could learn healthy eating behaviors.

I had to let go of some ideas I had about me and food being the problem and accept the idea, deep down that I was the problem

Then I had to realize that, as far as believing things go, logic will always trump everything else for me. The simplicity of eating less than your body needs and knowing the actual numbers works for me. Calorie counting doesn't work for everyone, but eating less than what you need is the mechanism by which everyone loses weight.

I shared all this with you in hopes it might give you some food for thought. What do you feel is standing in your way?

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extacymoon

I can sympathize with you as well. I struggle with the belief that I can do it. That is hard to get over. What has helped me is to log everything I eat and stay at a caloric deficit. I also try to get some kind of exercise in most days, even if it is just a walk. You have to believe in your self and know that you have a support system here on MFP. There are tons of people on here that can be in your corner. You can friend me if you want and I will try to help you through this journey. It is not about a diet but a lifestyle change. Picking up habits that you can stick with.

zoeysasha37

Yes. I remember reading a post About before and after pictures once . I thought, there's no reason for me to take a before picture because I'll probably never stick with it long enough anyway. I had no confidence in myself.

The good thing was that confidence wasn't needed for weight loss. All that was needed was a calorie deficit. So as long as i ate at a deficit, i lost weight.
Now all these years later , i did it and i ended up gaining all the confidence i needed

RolyBun

I'll reply in more detail later chaps, I guess I can most relate to the idea that I've no comparison to make. I have no idea what its like to be thin but I know I like eating junk food.

shadowfax_c11

You can totally eat junk food. You just have to eat it within your calorie goals.

Calorie deficit is a very simple and not very difficult way to loose weight. I too used to think it was impossible for me to loose weight. I have never felt that dieting was a smart idea and certainly all of the ones out there are just not sustainable long term solutions. But this. It's not hard. Using a scale and entering your foods in the diary is about the hardest part and that gets to be just part of the daily routine and not all that time consuming really.

The part about really wanting it. Well yes that part is also true. There are going to be days when you want to eat everything in sight. The first few weeks are tough until you create the habit. Wanting it badly will help you to push through that. Believing that you deserve it and are worth it is important.

It took me a while of building my own self esteem and self love in order to be in the place where I could take this on. So far I have been very happy with the results.

Liftng4Lis

Wow, how exciting to be the one person in your family, that is going to make the change. Take each day as it comes, eat in a deficit and the loss with start coming. As you start seeing results (if you've made the decision to change), it should snowball and you'll keep getting it! Good luck!

Numberwang22

Game changers for me were realising I deserved to live better than I had been, and my own needs were as important as anyone else's. Maybe don't think of it as not wanting it enough (and sure you do) but more of a prioritisation thing... Hope that makes sense!