Letting go of negative self-talk

CaliforniaRower

Tonight, my yoga teacher really made it clear that part of life is to do you best and then let go.

I have a hard time with that when it comes to weight loss. I still have my "skinny" clothes from just 6 years ago when I was a size 6 (US). I berate myself for any slip-up or lack of commitment, and I'm really quite mean to myself.

So tonight, when the teacher said that, it hit me hard. I could choose to put ALL my focus on the things I AM doing right and NONE of my focus on the alleged errors I make on my hurtling journey back to Size 6. (Size 12 is getting a teeny bit baggy at last!)

Are you changing your negative thinking, too? Any tips or tricks?

RodaRose

1 Louise Haye has positive affirmations.
http://www.louisehay.com/affirmations/
2 Geneen Roth has some books about feeling better about our selves and food:
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-973/10-Powerful-Quotes-from-Women-Food-and-God.html
3 There are probably some chants your yoga teacher has for you.
4 Also ask your yoga teacher for some mudras:
5 "Mudras: Yoga inYour Hands" by Gertrud Hirschi
6 Or some mudras here
http://emmanewlynyoga.com/2014/06/29/10-mudras-for-healing-health-happiness/

rachael00679

I do this too but I have been making an effort to catch myself and think something positive and if that doesn't work ising a song in my head until it passes.

My_Butt

I totally agree on this. I see a lot of the girls with eating disorders on here always saying how much they hate themselves and stuff. I think if you wouldn't say that stuff to a stranger you shouldn't say it to yourself.

kindrabbit

I think my attitude to life and myself in particular has changed dramically as I've approached middle age. I lost my mum and that hits everyone hard. I found myself saying 'life's too short for this' about 20 times a day. I look at the bigger picture now. Do I really care about this tiny insignificant set back? Is it something that will be relevant when I lay on my deathbed and look back on my life? if not, I let it go. So I ate some cake, was it yummy? Did it make me happy? Can I workout a bit harder to balance it out? Then life is good!

athenasurrenders

What works best for me is 'would I say that to my mum/best friend/a stranger in the shop changing rooms?'

If the answer is 'No!' then I'm not allowed to say it to myself either, and I have to change it to something more positive.

So 'You're so useless, you have no self control!' becomes 'Everyone has slip ups, I can learn from it and move on'. 'I have ugly legs' becomes 'I love my legs because they're strong enough to chase my toddler up that hill!'.

Another thing I am trying to do is take care of myself the way I would take care of my children. I make sure they get a balance between good nutrition and the occasional treat. I don't hold it against them when they are hungry and tired. I correct their mistakes and help them learn but I don't think less of them because of it. I am now trying to show myself the same love and care - after all, I'm as important to them as they are to me, and so I deserve the same treatment.

DeguelloTex

I put my focus on the things I am doing wrong so that I can stop doing them wrong. To me, that's not negative thinking. It necessarily implies than I think I can do better. Negative thinking would be the attitude that I'll always keep doing the same thing wrong, not accepting that I did something wrong and focusing on it to change it.

JoRocka

I have come to accept that my role in life is to be as fcking awesome as possible. let me be clear- being awesome and full of fabulous is hard work.

And there are some epic highs- and then there are some epic lows. Even when you KNOW you're fabulous- you still feel like *kitten*. I have those days- and it looks like I really have me *kitten* together- guess what- still have bad days- still have days of deep depression. Where I wonder WHY I cannot get ahead.

Let it go- you'll come back to being a rock star the next day- but you cant' be a rock star 150% of the time. sometimes you gotta have some less than rockstar moments- but don't let them dictate your life. life's to short for that.

one of the things I REALLY have enjoyed doing- is writing lists of things I'd like to accomplish. I don't keep it out- I just keep it in a book that I have for a while- and I can go back and look later. I did that last spring- and by fall I found it and realized I had checked off over the half the things on my list- even when I felt like I wasn't getting much done- at the speed I wanted- it was happening. So maybe try that as a way to help keep you focused on the good things.

999tigger

I find the negative talk a bit dull and exhausting, so I reognise it and largely ignore it. That doesnt mean im super positive, but I recognise it for what it is. Keep your eye on the prize.

zoeysasha37

When i catch myself thinking negative thoughts about myself, i just constantly remind myself of all the good qualities i have . I remind myself of how far I've come , for example when i started i could only do one push up or pull up and now i can do 27 without stopping. So try to remind yourself of all the good qualities you have.

tedioustrainingap

My_Butt wrote: »

I totally agree on this.... I think if you wouldn't say that stuff to a stranger you shouldn't say it to yourself.

This! Be as kind and non-judgemental towards yourself and past self, as you would be towards another person in your position.

kshama2001

I'm normally a book person, but really, really enjoyed Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life DVD. It's available in my library system, so maybe yours as well.

A review on Amazon:

Disc 1 Begins with a lady thinking all this negative self-talk. Then you hear others also thinking all this negative self-talk. A positive-thinker walks by and drops a card that says "I am willing to change." And there is a positive affirmation on the back of the card explaining what the statement means. The negative-thinker begins to think about what the card says. Louise Hay begins to dialog, explaining how changing our thoughts can dramatically influence our lives. Other subject-matter experts expand on The Universe, The Law of Attraction, abundance, etc. Louise tells her story, how she left an abusive home at 15, all that she endured before and after, and how she came to be where she is now. Throughout the DVD, various people talk about their experiences and how they relate to being in control of your attitude and health. They also discuss positive affirmations, health, getting what you want out of life, belief, emotion, gratitude, energy vibrations, the ego, dreams, assumptions, beliefs, denial, delay tactics, fear, forgiveness, physical healing, emotional healing, balance, loving yourself and others, spirituality, and self-esteem.

Some of the authors speaking in this CD are: Wayne Dyer (age 67), Greg Branden, Esther and Jerry Hicks, Louise Hays (age 80), Cheryl Richardson, Doreen Virtue, Candace Pert, Mona Lisa Schulz, Christiane Northrop, Gay Hendricks, and Leon Nacson.

MissAmyx

I talk negative to myself all the time...I find it works for me!

When I'm riding my bike and I start thinking "oh I'm tired, my legs hurt" and start slacking off I then immediately say to myself something like "Oh shut up you fat b**** and keep going!"(that's phrasing it mildly btw I can curse like an angry sailor if I'm really in the mood for it) and I do certain work out routines in front of a mirror and when I start slacking off I look at myself with disgust and swear at myself to get back to work..
If i find im eating a tonne of junk food I insult myself it makes me stop.

That probably paints an awful picture of me but being mean to myself works for me

Cortneyrenee04

MissAmyx wrote: »

I talk negative to myself all the time...I find it works for me!

When I'm riding my bike and I start thinking "oh I'm tired, my legs hurt" and start slacking off I then immediately say to myself something like "Oh shut up you fat b**** and keep going!"(that's phrasing it mildly btw I can curse like an angry sailor if I'm really in the mood for it) and I do certain work out routines in front of a mirror and when I start slacking off I look at myself with disgust and swear at myself to get back to work..
If i find im eating a tonne of junk food I insult myself it makes me stop.

That probably paints an awful picture of me but being mean to myself works for me

Hahahaha... Totally have said the same things to myself on the bike!

CaliforniaRower

Dears, thank you sincerely for all your lovely, helpful perspectives!