115 lbs lost, about 40 to go, worsening body image

LuckyPolarBear

While the weight loss overall has been an amazing experience, absolutely no regrets, my life has improved in ways i never imagined possible and am very grateful. But I've always been super heavy (since the day after i was born, lol) and the loose skin feels ugly. My body has become unfamiliar, can't seem to get used to it. I can't stand the way it looks and am wondering if anyone else will be able to find me attractive. It's not bad compared to stuff I've seen on tv, there's no way insurance will cover surgery since it doesn't even come close to affecting mobility. I guess my question is, anyone else out there ever felt this way? How'd you deal with it?

discretekim

First of all congratulations. That is impressive weight loss. Well I will say you will likely get used to it in time.

I also want to share a personal experience with you which may seem harsh. But is sent from a place of caring. My father was morbidly obese my whole life. Upwards of 600 pounds at one point. He told me maybe about a year ago he was struggling with this. Once he reached a certain size, more weight loss made him look worse and it was hard to deal with. He died last October. Likely things are not so serious for you, but my point is this. Sometimes weight loss is about so much more than vanity. And you may not look as well but you are protecting your health which is soooo many infinite times more important. Please remember looking good is only one idea. Health is the true goal.

Melvicmurphy

Congratulations on your weight loss! That's a major achievement and achieving makes you immediately attractive - you are winning! The weight loss probably became possible when you truly believed it was possible - i think it follows that transformation of your body and mindset will follow in kind - when you believe. Besides that i've heard it takes skin 2 years to recover and so many people have had success with weight lifting and exercise - it must be worth a try. Mums out there have tiger stripes to show how hard their bodies worked having babies. Your loose skin only shows what a phenomenal distance you have come. All the best.

gopgirl425

Great job!!! I know you must feel awesome. I do understand your feelings though. I was 295 and now 175 and planning to get to 155. I hate the way I look in a bathing suit and the shorter shorts. My arms bother me and I will not ever wear sleeveless.
I am glad I lost the weight just wish I'd done it sooner.

The positive outweighs the negative so much. I feel so much better. I could list a whole page of things that have gotten better so the only thing about I don't like is the skin...I will take that.
Congrats again!!

LuckyPolarBear

Thanks everyone. Sometimes I let the small things bother me I guess. The impact on my physical and mental health is the most important thing. It helps to hear from others since I don't know anyone who's done this before, no one to talk to about this. But you've helped me with my perspective.

vypressme

When I used to feel this way, I had a question I asked myself: would you rather be fit and with loose skin, or obese without it?

jgnatca

I am ninety pounds down with lots of loose skin. I have a hanging panniculus. I use spandex to keep everything tucked in nicely. I get lots of compliments from friends and co-workers so I am gradually getting used to my new body. Besides, I can do lots of stuff I couldn't do before.

CrusaderSam

LuckyPolarBear wrote: »

I can't stand the way it looks and am wondering if anyone else will be able to find me attractive.

Well I can only speak from my experience as a guy with loose skin. Some women will absolutely tell you flat out, to your face you look disgusting and others that wont mind it at all. In fact the women I am seeing right now could care less if I get it removed or not. So short answer is yes people will find you attractive, but some wont that's life.

omnpotnt

I've lost 140 lbs..I've gone from 335 to 194..though I"ve done it slowly so I've been fortunate with the skin. I will say that the things that have helped me were LOTS of moisturizing...stay hydrated....exfoliate and use a skin brush....all of this helps the skin to continue to rejuvenate and stay healthy, and most importantly, elastic! As the poster mentioned before, skin will tighten for 2 years after you're done so don't lose heart! For area's in the legs, arms, chest etc....lift some weights. You don't need to build yourself like a muscle builder, but the muscle takes up skin, therefore tightening it.

But most of all....remember how *kitten* you felt when you sat in a booth at a restaurant...and had to push the table away, or not being able to buy normal clothes in the mall. All the Non scale victories are what makes this journey worth it. The vast amount of things I can do now, that I couldn't before...the athletics, family time...the ability to walk around Disney world without having to stop for a quick rest. I walk 5-8 miles several times a week now, for the fun of it!

And...lastly...not all the skin is 'loose skin' ..you (and I) still have fat to burn....it's the fat you see hanging more often than not...walking seems to burn belly fat for me, that and having cut my sugars and carbs significantly right now to near zero while I try and lose the last 10-15lbs.

Do I look perfect? Nooo. But would I rather have the weight and 'tighter' skin? Not for all the tea in China.

Best of luck, and don't get down....we've all had those moments....and you can always come here when you need the support!

blankiefinder

I will never have the kind of weight loss and loose skin that you are dealing with, but I do definitely have some loose skin from getting HUGE in my tummy during my last pregnancy plus being overweight since then. The only other time I lost weight, I put it back on because I didn't like the loose skin. This time I've decided that I am going to stay at maintenance for 2 years and give my skin time to heal, before I judge where I'm at. I'm hoping that it will improve over time.

mmnv79

I have much less weight to lose but if I was in your situation I don't think I would contemplate surgery even if I could afford it because of the risks involved. I heard that skin will return to a shape that fits your new body but it can take years. I'm sure some people here will be able to assist you. Be happy with where you have come from and where you are and if your mind has not yet caught up, focus on all the other amazing victories you've accomplished.

2ledbetter

I've lost 98 pounds so far with at least 80 more to go. I'm starting to see the loose skin and also can't stand it. I read in several places to give it two years then see where your skin is "hanging." Lol, although it's not really funny. I'm going to start light lifting to see if that helps along the way.

senecarr

Congratulations, I know you'll make that next 40.
I've lost close to 85 lb total while gaining gett muscle, 55 lb of the weight loss rather quickly and recently after having done a 20 lb rebound.
I know for I get really weirded out by small things that don't match what I remember about my body. The loss of recognition and identity feels like what really bothers me. I have no real issue with becoming more vascular, but I feel like I don't know my own hands sometimes seeing how much more prominent the veins seem.

LuckyPolarBear

I know for I get really weirded out by small things that don't match what I remember about my body. The loss of recognition and identity feels like what really bothers me. I have no real issue with becoming more vascular, but I feel like I don't know my own hands sometimes seeing how much more prominent the veins seem.

YES!!! I keep looking at myself and thinking "who is that?"

the_great_unknown

I am in a similar position. I have lost about 110 pounds and would like to lose about 35-40 more. I have loose skin everywhere, but it bothers me most on my abdomen. It looks like a weird six pack, just puffy. SO HOT. Even with this and the loose skin on my arms, I certainly don't regret losing all of the weight that I did, but I feel unattractive a lot of the time. I will probably have the loose skin on my arms removed when I reach my goal weight.

Jmgkamp

I just posted about my wings. I could probably learn how to fly! I wouldn't go back to my previous size for anything, but I'm going to have to get creative with hiding my new flaws. I'm thinking right long sleeve shirts. Year round.

senecarr

LuckyPolarBear wrote: »

I know for I get really weirded out by small things that don't match what I remember about my body. The loss of recognition and identity feels like what really bothers me. I have no real issue with becoming more vascular, but I feel like I don't know my own hands sometimes seeing how much more prominent the veins seem.

YES!!! I keep looking at myself and thinking "who is that?"

When I first realized that was bothering me, I actually chuckled, "All the metaphors of knowing it like the back of your hand, and I literally don't feel like I know the back of my hand anymore." That idea really struck home to me how much it wasn't about any dislike of what I looked like, just being unfamiliar. Like getting something new - sure, you might have got something better than you had, but it takes time before it has the familiarity of what you used to have.