Feeling like the odd one out.

tulips_and_tea

kellydenisetn2014 wrote: »

When I hear people doing that it makes me feel sorry for them. Its only an insecure person that has a lot of demons (figure of speech) within that finds comfort in putting others down. Believe me, as skinny as they may be they are probably far more miserable. Weight problems are really heart problems and they are the same problems whether you comfort yourself with food or comfort yourself by denying yourself food. We have a lot of skinny women in our office as well as over weight. One day I decided to really make an effort to listen to their conversations and I was shocked to hear that the skinny women talked about and obsessed over food just as much as the rest of us. Food is not always the real problem.

Great first post! Very well said.

tulips_and_tea

Bj0223 wrote: »

I understand your feelings. I constantly compare myself to others and have to constantly remind myself to stop. There are two separate personalities in my head, my rational one and the nutty one. That nutty one takes control and I have to stop and talk only to the rational girl. Stopping myself and thinking it out when it happens makes the sessions of my nutty personality shorter and I can continue on my day without dwelling on the negatives.

Gosh, I really hope that made sense.

My advice would be to find a workout/healthy lifestyle friend. I tried for years to workout, run and eat better. It wasn't until I reached out and asked a person to walk with me that I succeeded. She was my son's girlfriend's mom and lived in my neighborhood. I had met her once or twice but we were not friends. I called her up and asked her to walk with me. That was two years ago, 80 pounds ago , 1 half marathon and 1 tri sprint ago. Reach out and don't be afraid to make new friends. (our kiddos broke up but we didn't )

Yes, it does make sense. I mentioned this in another thread recently, but we pretty much all have personal issues to deal with. Sometimes we can get past them and leave them behind, but sometimes they are life-long. That is where the inner dialogue comes in, as you mentioned above. Seems frustrating at times, but if we have to stop ourselves and have that inner dialogue and conversation with ourselves every single day to deal with an issue, then so be it. It's better than not having a coping mechanism at all.

girlwithcurls2

I think that the fact that you are venting and working through this yucky inner dialogue might help. The next time something like this happens, try to work through it differently. Just because we've mentally decided to lose the weight, it doesn't just come off. There is a lot of work to be done, not just physically.

You already told yourself this, but don't beat yourself up. Don't even beat yourself up for beating yourself up. (Does that make sense??) You're you. You're a lovely person. Those office people know it. And some day, there won't be a "heavy set" person there. There are people in this world with issues you can't see that are far worse. Yours is just out there, but it doesn't change WHO you are. Start seeing yourself as you want others to see you: happy, confident, hard-working, committed... You are all of those things.

sofaking6

"Comparison is the enemy of happiness".

I saw this quote recently and whenever I find myself thinking about so and so who got a promotion ahead of me or so and so who is getting married when I just got single and all of the other people who seem to be doing better than me in all kinds of ways, I just repeat that over and over. Hopefully eventually it will stick, because I do believe that it's true. I just need to FEEL that it's true, ya know?