#2 Glass breaking bug and how I'm going to save myself.
oddone_out
Posts: 4 Member
I smashed a glass at the sight of the biggest most disgusting son of a *kitten* bug I have ever seen, I still can't find it.
Yesterday I had a massive breakdown because of a Youtube video I watched about the science of food and how we've all been tricked (more details below). I was worried because my mom which my partner and I live with (yup I'm gay so if you don't like it leave now because I won't like your bigotry vibes) hates change and likes to say things like "When Adrienne is on a diet we ALL suddenly have to be one one" . Disrespectful, insert smoke coming out of my ears. So that's what lead to my tears , I feared the worst, I was going to wake up with cake and fries stuffed in my mouth while I am asleep and she'll be jumping around clapping and smiling. So I called her at work and told her what I watched and how I need support and if she doesn't I just won't care or eat meals with her, and I'm going to put myself first.
Side note, why are you 27 and living with your mother? Well my apartment building burnt down, 2 months ago, and she's charging us 250 each to stay with her (which is a steal) and we decided to use the money we save to travel the world.
I also called my partner we'll call her Shmessica for privacy reasons to let her know how I was feeling and what I had learned. [Shmessica I met at my first job,yes that same *kitten* job I have shared with you all before. I hid how I felt about her because she was with someone and I was someone (who I learned later on like we all do at that age was a complete waste of time) also my father would kill me. Her at the time crazy partner made a fake account claiming to be Shmessica and I spoke to her for 3 years (even though we both didn't work together anymore), and I was none the wiser. My father had died and I was a TRAIN WRECK, and "Shmessica" helped me through it and told me how she loved me, and would take care of me, I was ready to leave my abusive relationship to be with her, then I heard a bomb dropping from the sky. "You know what this isn't Shmessica, this is "TERRIble" (see what I did there?) and we sit here all day and make fun of how pathetic you are and how much you like someone that actually can't stand you". I died on the inside...I was ruined. "I'm telling all your friends that your gay, I don't care that your dad died, he deserved it, if we ever see you we're going to beat the life out of you". What I didn't know is that this was all fake Shmessica had no idea, I hadn't been speaking to her at all and her bored *kitten* of a girlfriend TERRIble made all of this up. So for 10 years we didn't see each other or speak, I thought she was going to kill me if I saw her ever. She ended up getting married to TERRIble and I was on and off with the piece of *kitten* I was engaged to. I had left my situation with "Shyawn" and dated other terrible people, until last summer. I came home after a light binge with an ex I hadn't seen since I was 15 and I hated myself, I broke down in the shower, I'm catholic so I'm terrified of religion, but at the time I was so broken I didn't care. I stood there crying in the shower and I said out loud "whoever the *kitten* I'm supposed to be with, it has to happen now, I'm slipping I'm alone and I need them". My best friend called me and invited me over,I arrive and while watching netflix I got an e-mail notification on my phone, coming from youtube. There was a message (DIRECTLY COPIED) "hey im SHMessica. I don't know if you remember me from when we worked at Wendy's, but iv wanted to talk to you. message me or email me". I responded, we met up the next day and we've been together EVERY day since. And yes she was shocked at what I told her about her ex and what she had done, she could kill her.] She is super supportive and wants to do this with me, and took me out last night to get the new food we need to pull all this off.
My mom is in on all this too she's very excited.
So the video that actually motivated me for one in my life, the one that made me understand what the *kitten* is going on with my body and my I'm getting sick and gaining weight, and how I need to fix it is right here. And let it be said, if it scared ME out of all people who isn't phased by anything, it's gotta be good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=da1vvigy5tQ
Yesterday I had a massive breakdown because of a Youtube video I watched about the science of food and how we've all been tricked (more details below). I was worried because my mom which my partner and I live with (yup I'm gay so if you don't like it leave now because I won't like your bigotry vibes) hates change and likes to say things like "When Adrienne is on a diet we ALL suddenly have to be one one" . Disrespectful, insert smoke coming out of my ears. So that's what lead to my tears , I feared the worst, I was going to wake up with cake and fries stuffed in my mouth while I am asleep and she'll be jumping around clapping and smiling. So I called her at work and told her what I watched and how I need support and if she doesn't I just won't care or eat meals with her, and I'm going to put myself first.
Side note, why are you 27 and living with your mother? Well my apartment building burnt down, 2 months ago, and she's charging us 250 each to stay with her (which is a steal) and we decided to use the money we save to travel the world.
I also called my partner we'll call her Shmessica for privacy reasons to let her know how I was feeling and what I had learned. [Shmessica I met at my first job,yes that same *kitten* job I have shared with you all before. I hid how I felt about her because she was with someone and I was someone (who I learned later on like we all do at that age was a complete waste of time) also my father would kill me. Her at the time crazy partner made a fake account claiming to be Shmessica and I spoke to her for 3 years (even though we both didn't work together anymore), and I was none the wiser. My father had died and I was a TRAIN WRECK, and "Shmessica" helped me through it and told me how she loved me, and would take care of me, I was ready to leave my abusive relationship to be with her, then I heard a bomb dropping from the sky. "You know what this isn't Shmessica, this is "TERRIble" (see what I did there?) and we sit here all day and make fun of how pathetic you are and how much you like someone that actually can't stand you". I died on the inside...I was ruined. "I'm telling all your friends that your gay, I don't care that your dad died, he deserved it, if we ever see you we're going to beat the life out of you". What I didn't know is that this was all fake Shmessica had no idea, I hadn't been speaking to her at all and her bored *kitten* of a girlfriend TERRIble made all of this up. So for 10 years we didn't see each other or speak, I thought she was going to kill me if I saw her ever. She ended up getting married to TERRIble and I was on and off with the piece of *kitten* I was engaged to. I had left my situation with "Shyawn" and dated other terrible people, until last summer. I came home after a light binge with an ex I hadn't seen since I was 15 and I hated myself, I broke down in the shower, I'm catholic so I'm terrified of religion, but at the time I was so broken I didn't care. I stood there crying in the shower and I said out loud "whoever the *kitten* I'm supposed to be with, it has to happen now, I'm slipping I'm alone and I need them". My best friend called me and invited me over,I arrive and while watching netflix I got an e-mail notification on my phone, coming from youtube. There was a message (DIRECTLY COPIED) "hey im SHMessica. I don't know if you remember me from when we worked at Wendy's, but iv wanted to talk to you. message me or email me". I responded, we met up the next day and we've been together EVERY day since. And yes she was shocked at what I told her about her ex and what she had done, she could kill her.] She is super supportive and wants to do this with me, and took me out last night to get the new food we need to pull all this off.
My mom is in on all this too she's very excited.
So the video that actually motivated me for one in my life, the one that made me understand what the *kitten* is going on with my body and my I'm getting sick and gaining weight, and how I need to fix it is right here. And let it be said, if it scared ME out of all people who isn't phased by anything, it's gotta be good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=da1vvigy5tQ-7
Replies
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What just happened?0
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I don't know, but my head hurts something awful.0
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that made my head hurt.0
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JenAndSome wrote: »What just happened?
I don't understand most of it, except that she found this YouTube video from a doctor who talks about how evil carbs are (I didn't watch it, but I know who Sarah Hallberg is and what her official stance is).0 -
Is there a tl;dr version that also explains why everything is bold and italicized?0
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JenAndSome wrote: »What just happened?
I don't understand most of it, except that she found this YouTube video from a doctor who talks about how evil carbs are (I didn't watch it, but I know who Sarah Hallberg is and what her official stance is).
Yea, googled Sarah Hallberg. She is just another low carb/high fat advocate it seems. Whatever works for her.0 -
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oddone_out wrote: »I smashed a glass at the sight of the biggest most disgusting son of a *kitten* bug I have ever seen, I still can't find it.
Yesterday I had a massive breakdown because of a Youtube video I watched about the science of food and how we've all been tricked (more details below). I was worried because my mom which my partner and I live with (yup I'm gay so if you don't like it leave now because I won't like your bigotry vibes) hates change and likes to say things like "When Adrienne is on a diet we ALL suddenly have to be one one" . Disrespectful, insert smoke coming out of my ears. So that's what lead to my tears , I feared the worst, I was going to wake up with cake and fries stuffed in my mouth while I am asleep and she'll be jumping around clapping and smiling. So I called her at work and told her what I watched and how I need support and if she doesn't I just won't care or eat meals with her, and I'm going to put myself first.
Side note, why are you 27 and living with your mother? Well my apartment building burnt down, 2 months ago, and she's charging us 250 each to stay with her (which is a steal) and we decided to use the money we save to travel the world.
I also called my partner we'll call her Shmessica for privacy reasons to let her know how I was feeling and what I had learned. [Shmessica I met at my first job,yes that same *kitten* job I have shared with you all before. I hid how I felt about her because she was with someone and I was someone (who I learned later on like we all do at that age was a complete waste of time) also my father would kill me. Her at the time crazy partner made a fake account claiming to be Shmessica and I spoke to her for 3 years (even though we both didn't work together anymore), and I was none the wiser. My father had died and I was a TRAIN WRECK, and "Shmessica" helped me through it and told me how she loved me, and would take care of me, I was ready to leave my abusive relationship to be with her, then I heard a bomb dropping from the sky. "You know what this isn't Shmessica, this is "TERRIble" (see what I did there?) and we sit here all day and make fun of how pathetic you are and how much you like someone that actually can't stand you". I died on the inside...I was ruined. "I'm telling all your friends that your gay, I don't care that your dad died, he deserved it, if we ever see you we're going to beat the life out of you". What I didn't know is that this was all fake Shmessica had no idea, I hadn't been speaking to her at all and her bored *kitten* of a girlfriend TERRIble made all of this up. So for 10 years we didn't see each other or speak, I thought she was going to kill me if I saw her ever. She ended up getting married to TERRIble and I was on and off with the piece of *kitten* I was engaged to. I had left my situation with "Shyawn" and dated other terrible people, until last summer. I came home after a light binge with an ex I hadn't seen since I was 15 and I hated myself, I broke down in the shower, I'm catholic so I'm terrified of religion, but at the time I was so broken I didn't care. I stood there crying in the shower and I said out loud "whoever the *kitten* I'm supposed to be with, it has to happen now, I'm slipping I'm alone and I need them". My best friend called me and invited me over,I arrive and while watching netflix I got an e-mail notification on my phone, coming from youtube. There was a message (DIRECTLY COPIED) "hey im SHMessica. I don't know if you remember me from when we worked at Wendy's, but iv wanted to talk to you. message me or email me". I responded, we met up the next day and we've been together EVERY day since. And yes she was shocked at what I told her about her ex and what she had done, she could kill her.] She is super supportive and wants to do this with me, and took me out last night to get the new food we need to pull all this off.
My mom is in on all this too she's very excited.
So the video that actually motivated me for one in my life, the one that made me understand what the *kitten* is going on with my body and my I'm getting sick and gaining weight, and how I need to fix it is right here. And let it be said, if it scared ME out of all people who isn't phased by anything, it's gotta be good.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=da1vvigy5tQ
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lishie_rebooted wrote: »Is there a tl;dr version that also explains why everything is bold and italicized?
OP got catfished for 3 years and never caught on, then 10 years later met up with the person the catfisher was pretending to be and now they're in love, but their apartment burned down and now they have to live with OPs mom who is kinda bitchy and there's a video which is probably about carbs or sugar being evil and there was also a bug*.
*not a software bug I think, a creepy crawly bug.0 -
That's... a lot of stuff... and then a video about low carbing? I'm more a fan of a balanced diet while counting cals and watching macros. Your body needs carbs, but just in a normal quantity.0
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Op, maybe you need to talk to a mental professional. I've seen your other thread on here and it's kind of worrisome.0
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uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
WUT
like I actually read this...
WUUUUUUUUT0 -
This is really all over the place. I almost flagged it for spam because I thought it was "bot-writing" (you know, where there's a bunch of nonsense at the bottom of an email to trick the spam filters into thinking it's legitimate).
Personally, I see a lot of language that's a little concerning. I think a counselor would be a good thing. Sometimes, we have to work on our minds while we work on our bodies. I think a lot of weigh loss efforts would be more successful if a counselor was involved.0 -
tl;dr
watch TED Talk at the bottom
you're welcome gaiz0 -
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... and the point is????0
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haha yes definitely not a personal endorsement, I am not fond of them either
just giving my Cliffs notes of the OP
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I will admit that was a little confusing. I eat a keto diet because of PCOS. (if you don't know what Polycystic ovarian syndrome is I suggest looking it up.) I have ALWAYS tried losing weight and felt like it just wasn't possible for me. I'd struggle against the gain, and then give up, then struggle, give up. Keto has been the only thing that has given me consistent results and hope.
I'm sorry that you feel the need to defend yourself from the moment you announce that you're gay. I don't know what kind of place you're living in that has made you so defensive, but it must really suck.
So anyway. I hope that you find success on LCHF. And I also hope that you get to travel a lot like you want.0 -
I feel like I'm reading my older sisters diary against my will. (yes, I tried)
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Seriously. I couldn't even get through all of that. I might try again in a bit after more coffee...0 -
PrizePopple wrote: »
Seriously. I couldn't even get through all of that. I might try again in a bit after more coffee...
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C'n I huh?
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Bugs are low carb. You can eat them on a LCHF diet, but they won't help you reach your fat macro. Trying smushing them into cheese.
Good luck, OP!0 -
OP, Might I suggest next time using the 'BLOG' function?
Also, Based on your other thread, I really feel you should seek some professional help.
Still don't understand wtf is going on in this thread though... it was allllll over the place.0 -
But...but...why was everything bold and italic!?
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Best of luck to you OP. Your writing is interesting - reminiscent of a stream-of-consciousness William S. Burroughs kind of thing which is to say I don't fully understand all you're trying to say but I get that you're going through a lot and working through some problems. If the writing helps you in a cathartic sort of way then keep it up!0
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This is a big pile of "who gives a *kitten*?"
eta: Not really sure this is "spam," but it's already got 4 flags for it, so why not?0
This discussion has been closed.
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