The fun meal vs success balancing act

DuckReconMajor

There's people who are rich because they work non-stop. Then there's people who are rich because they are smart about it and they still get plenty of time to themselves. Communities like this are for people trying to reach the latter (well, in a fitness sense of course). Sort of a smarter vs harder ordeal.

Ninkyou

I haven't reached my goal yet, so technically I guess I don't fit the criteria of "fit". But I have been successful. I've lost nearly 62 lbs (and had a baby to boot) in the past 2 years.

Really, I'd say it's about planning, balance and acceptance.

Ideally, you plan ahead for situations that might call for a higher calorie intake (AKA fun meal), or find something that you feel you would enjoy that fits into your calorie/macro goal without going over, or say the heck with it and just eat what you want (and then balance it out with your calorie intake through the rest of the week, etc). So really, you're planning ahead to balance out your calorie intake with what you have or will have available through the week. Accept that social occasions and eating out happens, don't stress out about it and enjoy it.

I can honestly say, I never order steamed veggies or substitute sides or anything. I may choose grilled chicken over breaded chicken, but that's purely based on taste. Unless it's Chinese, then it's General Tso's all the way. And forget white rice, I get pork fried rice and drizzle soy sauce out of that shizz. And I rarely have any of it left over. I don't do the save half of it thing. I eat it all. I just make sure I have the calories for it, and if I don't I might exercise a little extra or eat less in the previous/subsequent days.

msf74

BFDeal wrote: »

I guess I'm just wondering at this point if it's even worth trying to get to 15% body fat, which is a million miles away at this point, if when I get there I won't ever be able to have a few beers, order Chinese food that isn't steamed, etc.

this may help:

is it worth it?

slaite1

BFDeal wrote: »

BZAH10 wrote: »

Good responses so far. OP, I'm going to try to carefully say that I think this is more of a mindset issue for you. When you say "fun meal vs success" I think you see these as completely opposite things. They are not. If by "fun" you mean all out, crazy high calorie food in large quantities, I'm going to suggest that long term weight loss maintainers don't equate that with "fun" anymore. An occasional higher calorie restaurant meal is completely different than eating whatever you want to abandon.

IMHO, as long as you see your calorie intake number and the foods you "cannot" eat as negative you will have a hard time finding success. If you HATE something you do, how successful do you expect to be at it? I may be completely off base, but given your post history, I still read it as you resenting having to make sacrifices or changes to lose more weight. Resentment will not lead to success.

Either way, at some point I hope you find the answers you are looking for and find contentment with were you are.

I'm not sure resentment is the right word but I think you're on the right track. Here's my thinking, and I said this in another thread. Let's assume most people would like to be rich. Now, what if you were able to get rich BUT you had to work so much that you never got to actually enjoy it. As in you had to work 16 hours a day, you could never take a vacation, and never stop to spend the money living life (travel, have experiences, etc). This is what fitness is starting to seem like to me. By fitness I mean what most people see as the goal. Lowish body fat, strong, etc. Sure, I'm prettttttty fit. I look ok in clothes. I'm better off than I used to be when I was reallllllllly heavy. I can run a few miles at a time. I'm not glued to the couch and I'm recreationally active. I lift enough to look relatively built up under my fat but I still carry a lot of weight type of fit. To be really fit though it seems like you basically have to do nothing but try to be fit (like being the rich guy who has to work so hard to be rich he can't ever do anything else besides work). I guess I'm just interested in people's perspectives on the subject. I guess I'm just wondering at this point if it's even worth trying to get to 15% body fat, which is a million miles away at this point, if when I get there I won't ever be able to have a few beers, order Chinese food that isn't steamed, etc.

You're answering your own question. For you, it doesn't seem that the sacrifices are worth the result. For others, it is. I am fine with not splurging as often if it means I can be comfortable in my clothes. You CAN enjoy a few beers or order Chinese food-just probably not as often as you do currently.

If I could never enjoy food I would not strive to continue losing. For me, I can enjoy things and also be very fit. I can't binge every day, but I can find balance. Find your balance and go from there.

jemhh

BFDeal wrote: »

BZAH10 wrote: »

Good responses so far. OP, I'm going to try to carefully say that I think this is more of a mindset issue for you. When you say "fun meal vs success" I think you see these as completely opposite things. They are not. If by "fun" you mean all out, crazy high calorie food in large quantities, I'm going to suggest that long term weight loss maintainers don't equate that with "fun" anymore. An occasional higher calorie restaurant meal is completely different than eating whatever you want to abandon.

IMHO, as long as you see your calorie intake number and the foods you "cannot" eat as negative you will have a hard time finding success. If you HATE something you do, how successful do you expect to be at it? I may be completely off base, but given your post history, I still read it as you resenting having to make sacrifices or changes to lose more weight. Resentment will not lead to success.

Either way, at some point I hope you find the answers you are looking for and find contentment with were you are.

I'm not sure resentment is the right word but I think you're on the right track. Here's my thinking, and I said this in another thread. Let's assume most people would like to be rich. Now, what if you were able to get rich BUT you had to work so much that you never got to actually enjoy it. As in you had to work 16 hours a day, you could never take a vacation, and never stop to spend the money living life (travel, have experiences, etc). This is what fitness is starting to seem like to me. By fitness I mean what most people see as the goal. Lowish body fat, strong, etc. Sure, I'm prettttttty fit. I look ok in clothes. I'm better off than I used to be when I was reallllllllly heavy. I can run a few miles at a time. I'm not glued to the couch and I'm recreationally active. I lift enough to look relatively built up under my fat but I still carry a lot of weight type of fit. To be really fit though it seems like you basically have to do nothing but try to be fit (like being the rich guy who has to work so hard to be rich he can't ever do anything else besides work). I guess I'm just interested in people's perspectives on the subject. I guess I'm just wondering at this point if it's even worth trying to get to 15% body fat, which is a million miles away at this point, if when I get there I won't ever be able to have a few beers, order Chinese food that isn't steamed, etc.

I think that you could do those things but not on a weekly basis unless you restrict what you eat at other times. There's definitely a trade off and only you can decide whether or not it is worth it to you. For me, going out for drinks and high calorie food isn't really something I'm into. I'm not making a moral judgement on that; it's just not something that I've ever been into so I've never had to deal with giving it up. So it's easy for me to accept not being able to do that stuff on a regular basis. If it's not easy for you, then you have to decide if you want to restrict your calories at other times or devote more time to exercising. The answer to that is different for everybody. And it can change along the way too, of course.

ndj1979

I go out to dinner at least one night, sometimes two nights a week. I have had no issue with getting my body fat below 15%, maintaining, bulking, etc. I use several different strategies..

1. sometimes I just pre log everything in (if I know where I am going and can look up calories count) and then fit everything in. If I am like 100 calories over no big deal.
2. if I do not know where I am going hen I just go with the closet entries that makes sense and I do not sweat it.
3. If I do have a blow out meal or a day from having some beers on the beach followed by meal somewhere, then I typically lower my intake the following day a bit to make up for it, or sometimes I don't
4. sometimes I bank calories (50-100/day) during the week for the weekend...

Part of the lifestyle is realizing that you are never going to be able to accurately log everything all the time, and it is OK to go out and enjoy the foods you like.

msf74

BFDeal wrote: »

msf74 wrote: »

BFDeal wrote: »

I guess I'm just wondering at this point if it's even worth trying to get to 15% body fat, which is a million miles away at this point, if when I get there I won't ever be able to have a few beers, order Chinese food that isn't steamed, etc.

this may help:

is it worth it?

I feel like I do everything in the 15-20% category already but I'm 28% and for the life of me just can't get lower. I went from 230 to 222 briefly between Feb and May but it only took one week to gain it all back AND I didn't even go THAT crazy that week. I was drinking beers on the beach, not eating all day, and having a big dinner.

How long have you been dieting for?

Personally, that sound sucky. If it were me I would have a lengthy period of eating at current maintenance, continue to do the sports and activities I love doing regularly and then have another crack at it in say 3-6 months (unless there is an identified medical reason you have to lose weight right now.)

ndj1979

msf74 wrote: »

BFDeal wrote: »

msf74 wrote: »

BFDeal wrote: »

I guess I'm just wondering at this point if it's even worth trying to get to 15% body fat, which is a million miles away at this point, if when I get there I won't ever be able to have a few beers, order Chinese food that isn't steamed, etc.

this may help:

is it worth it?

I feel like I do everything in the 15-20% category already but I'm 28% and for the life of me just can't get lower. I went from 230 to 222 briefly between Feb and May but it only took one week to gain it all back AND I didn't even go THAT crazy that week. I was drinking beers on the beach, not eating all day, and having a big dinner.

How long have you been dieting for?

Personally, that sound sucky. If it were me I would have a lengthy period of eating at current maintenance, continue to do the sports and activities I love doing regularly and then have another crack at it in say 3-6 months (unless there is an identified medical reason you have to lose weight right now.)

Lets not even go there.

OP has been given a million suggestions as to how to get to lower body fat and lose additional weight, and all we ever get back is the excuse train.

Rini_s

Thanks for sharing. I thought the infographic was very interesting.

msf74 wrote: »

BFDeal wrote: »

I guess I'm just wondering at this point if it's even worth trying to get to 15% body fat, which is a million miles away at this point, if when I get there I won't ever be able to have a few beers, order Chinese food that isn't steamed, etc.

this may help:

is it worth it?

jemhh

I think this has been a good thread for you to see how much/how little other people splurge or plan for non-restricted eating. You brought up your beach vacation and said you had beers on the beach. If I remember correctly, you previously said that you drank a 6 pack a day. I know that it was vacation and I am generally a "relax, you're on vacation" person but I don't think it is reasonable to think that you can take in that many calories extra and not gain. And if you are okay with gaining on vacation great but I don't think that you are, based on what you've written since then.

jemhh

Really? My beer is always 180/190 or so calories per bottle. I didn't know that 100 calorie beer even existed.

slaite1

BFDeal wrote: »

jemhh wrote: »

I think this has been a good thread for you to see how much/how little other people splurge or plan for non-restricted eating. You brought up your beach vacation and said you had beers on the beach. If I remember correctly, you previously said that you drank a 6 pack a day. I know that it was vacation and I am generally a "relax, you're on vacation" person but I don't think it is reasonable to think that you can take in that many calories extra and not gain. And if you are okay with gaining on vacation great but I don't think that you are, based on what you've written since then.

That's 600 calories a day LOL. IIFYM says we can pretend I ate three protein bars extra a day instead of beers if that sounds less scandalous. I agree though, it is interesting to see what others are doing.

EDIT: 600x7 would be a little over a pound of weight gain. Where did the other 9 come from? I don't really feel like I ate that much. I split a half gallon of ice cream over the week with the wife. Drank my beers. Skipped most lunches. Grapes as a snack on the beach. Bacon and eggs at breakfast. I think I had one dinner where the side wasn't some assortment of vegetables. Fast food on the trip down and back up. I dunno, it just shows the randomness of it all.

Move on dude. Seriously. This was a great thread to get some perspective. Take a breath and get back at it. Maybe it's a little harder for you than some other poster. Or maybe some of us have different dieting histories, genetics, etc. You admit you've gotten lower-you just *kitten* it up on vacation. Suck it up and push on or give up. Your call man

cwolfman13

BZAH10 wrote: »

Good responses so far. OP, I'm going to try to carefully say that I think this is more of a mindset issue for you. When you say "fun meal vs success" I think you see these as completely opposite things. They are not. If by "fun" you mean all out, crazy high calorie food in large quantities, I'm going to suggest that long term weight loss maintainers don't equate that with "fun" anymore. An occasional higher calorie restaurant meal is completely different than eating whatever you want to abandon.

IMHO, as long as you see your calorie intake number and the foods you "cannot" eat as negative you will have a hard time finding success. If you HATE something you do, how successful do you expect to be at it? I may be completely off base, but given your post history, I still read it as you resenting having to make sacrifices or changes to lose more weight. Resentment will not lead to success.

Either way, at some point I hope you find the answers you are looking for and find contentment with were you are.

Exactly...

As a relatively long term maintainer...a "fun" meal for me doesn't mean going off the rails. Just as an example, my family goes out to our favorite local pizza joint every couple of weeks or so...my wife and I order a small pie and have a couple of slices and a beer and box up the rest...we're both pretty health conscious and fit people...so for us, ordering a large pie and eating it all and washing it down with a pitcher doesn't compute as fun. It's totally "fun" to just have a couple slices of pizza and a beer and enjoy a meal together as a family. Just eating whatever to abandon and going crazy doesn't compute as "fun" for me.

slaite1

You've had that answered many times-you just don't like the answers.

-Eat less (no, you're not a girl)
-Eat more volume to increase "fullness" (no, it's too cumbersome to weigh all those vegetables)
-give it time (i did!)
-get blood work (you always ignore this one)
-increase activity (I am active!)

I could go on and on. You have options, you just make excuses not to utilize them. Why is it "harder" for you? I don't know, dude. Why don't I have huge boobs? Them's the breaks. I work with what I got. I acknowledge both my strengths and my weaknesses.

Most importantly, though, I appreciate the advice that successful people have given me. I understand that I can't have it all and I make my decisions accordingly. Your problem is not your genetics or anything else you whine about. It is not harder for you, it is just different. You want to change your body? Put in the work like everyone else. Your only problem is you.


... And ps-the guys that whine about bulking are *kitten* too, and they get called out as well.