Why am I the fat friend?

icello

I'm not actually the fat friend when I'm with my two closest friends. One of them is pretty skinny and 10lb less than me but she is skinny-fat and my other friend weighs pretty much the same as me but I wear smaller clothes. Anyway, we get along great most of the time except when my heavier friend tries to make me feel like the fat friend by telling me to pick her up or trying to sit on me or making comments about weight at the water park. How do I stop her from harrassing me without making her feel the same way she makes me feel-fat!

lishie_rebooted

Tell her to cut tell *kitten*. That it's not appreciated and a pathetic attempt on her to try to bring you down

jshay295

Be straight forward, but say it in a polite manner to communicate how yourself without starting a fight.Next time she makes a comment, politely interrupt her to say something to the effect " it's starting to hurt my feelings when you make comments about my weight. You're supposed to be my friend, so I am not sure why you are saying these things.Care to explain"?

mkakids

Does she know how it makes you feel? Does she really know how close in weight you two are (do you know for sure?). She is likely doing it because she is self conscious and it takes the focus off of her (she may not even realize that she is doing it).

She continues with this behavior because you allow it. Tell her "I don't enjoy it when you sit on my lap, ask me to pick you up or comment about my weight. Please stop." If she doesn't - either deal with it, start doing it back to her, or stop hanging out with her.

999tigger

jshay295 wrote: »

Be straight forward, but say it in a polite manner to communicate how yourself without starting a fight.Next time she makes a comment, politely interrupt her to say something to the effect " it's starting to hurt my feelings when you make comments about my weight. You're supposed to be my friend, so I am not sure why you are saying these things.Care to explain"?

This is nice and polite. You are the fat friend becayse they are insecure and so its easy to make you it rather than them. it might be harm;less, but if it makes you feel bad then assert yourself.

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icello

Thanks for the advice. I know for a fact that she knows how much I weigh because we did weight and body fat measurements in gym class together and for bf I was 3% less. Guess I should probably just find some new friends...

999tigger

Being able to assert yourself is a valauable tool as is being able to brush things off. Ask her to stop and if she doesnt, then theres your answer.

anarchysbitch

UltimateRBF wrote: »

Punch her in the face

:')

rbiss

Try talking to her first. if she doesn't grow up, then I wouldn't hang out with her anymore. You don't need that.

dawniemate

UltimateRBF wrote: »

Punch her in the face

great idea lol

blackcoffeeandcherrypie

Next time she does it, laugh and say 'Anyone would think I weigh more than you!' and then laugh to show that this is ridiculous. Or could go with 'Uff! Pick on someone your own size!'

Kalikel

Tell her it bugs you. If she keeps it up, drop her.

It is very difficult to not make comments about people at the water park. Women who are size 22 in bikinis...it's just hard to pass that up. Even when you think you've seen it all there, something comes along and surprises you, like a 250 pound woman in a pooch ants kind of bikini, shaking herself in a way she believes to be sexy.

The water park is a never-ending source of shock and horror, lol.

How can you refrain from saying, "Oh, my God, look at that!"...I can't, lol.

shadowfax_c11

3600943 wrote: »

Anyway, we get along great most of the time except when my heavier friend tries to make me feel like the fat friend by telling me to pick her up or trying to sit on me or making comments about weight at the water park. How do I stop her from harrassing me without making her feel the same way she makes me feel-fat!

How old are you? This sort of behavior is rather childish dontcha think? Adults don't normally go around trying to pick one another up, sit on one another and embarrass their friends in public.

Honestly? Get better friends.

macr0babe

She sounds like she doesn't understand what being a friend is. It might be time for an ultimatum: "Stop trying to make me feel bad about myself, or we're done."

ohmscheeks

I think you should communicate how her behavior is making you feel. There must be something good there for you to consider her a friend. I, personally, would have a much lighter reaction to the actions you described. To me, it seems like she is playing/joking with you. I respect that you feel harassed. But, your friend may not have negative intentions and is therefore unaware of the negative impact...