Below goal weight but not happy

lchillies

So finally reached my goal, am down to 9st 10lb from 14st. For ages i thought i would look in the mirror and love the way i look. But i dont, i just find myself picking at new areas all the time. Does anyone else feel like this and how do you combat that evil voice in your head that will tell you your fat!

ElizabethKalmbach

Numbers. I get my body fat percentage and work with that instead of my weight. I can improve my body fat percentage, and even if I am always heavier than other girls, the body fat percentage numbers give me a better idea of what people SEE when they look at me.

demoiselle2014

I find I like my body more when I focus on what it can do rather than what it looks like. If I take a dance class and learn a tricky step, or become a better follower, I like the fact that my body can achieve that. If I can lift something I couldn't lift before, I like my body better. And when I can walk or run or . . . do any other activity, really . . . better, I like my body more. Now that you have reached your goal weight, perhaps it's a good idea to shift your focus to ways you can apply your healthier, lighter body to better, more enjoyable day to day living?

bvifun

A lot of us found that the mind takes longer to catch up with our new image. Set different goals for now and maybe set a time limit to review your weight loss. I have set myself 1 year from attaining goal weight to see if I really want to lose any more. Do you have before and now pictures? We can see the lose there better than in the mirror.

Jruzer

An internet classic:

TimothyFish

People who have a poor self-image before they lose weight will have a poor self-image after they lose weight. There is always something to pick at or criticize yourself about. The best thing to do is to focus on other people instead of focusing on yourself.

mbaker566

if you want, work on toning your new and fabulous body. it's like the detailing after a major overhaul

460mustang

It's difficult to achieve 100% satisfaction and that for some people is what they call drive. Always striving to be better, for me the more challenges the better. See something you don't like, figure out a way to change it! I don't let things slow me down, just get on the internet, do some research and find a solution.
Once I hit my weight goal, I plan on lowering my body fat percentage and building muscle. So I already have a new challenge, goal waiting in the future. Once I hit my body fat goal I may want bigger arms or legs, so I will work to achieve those goals, it's never ending!
I know one thing, giving up ends with failure.

nxd10

You won't be perfect. But even if you have a good body image (mine it pretty good) you can hit goal and still see things with how you look. There's more to looks than weight. After I hit my goal I have lost 6" on my waist, 4" on my hips, and dropped several sizes WITH NO CHANGE IN WEIGHT. But I'm in better shape.

Give it some time. Work both on your body and, as other people say, also on other things that make you happy.

And maybe get a good haircut and some clothes that flatter the new you too.

mbaker566

nxd10 wrote: »

And maybe get a good haircut and some clothes that flatter the new you too.

it may seem silly but it really can be a mood booster

SherryTeach

Yes, happiness doesn't really come from what we look like. That is often a big surprise to people who have put all their chips into losing weight and looking a certain way. Keep eating well and exercising and then set some other goals you would like to have in your life.

charliesangel13

I have experienced this as well. Back when I lost 55 pounds and was back at my high school weight. Now I'm on a spiritual journey and experiencing an awakening. What I have learned was my weight and what I looked like had nothing to do with my happiness. Quiet the voices in your head and accept yourself as you are. You are enough. You are beautiful.

ghartleroad1

Me too. I just got to the same spot and am now looking into "recomposition", but am afraid of weight training.

yesimpson

demoiselle2014 wrote: »

I find I like my body more when I focus on what it can do rather than what it looks like. If I take a dance class and learn a tricky step, or become a better follower, I like the fact that my body can achieve that. If I can lift something I couldn't lift before, I like my body better. And when I can walk or run or . . . do any other activity, really . . . better, I like my body more. Now that you have reached your goal weight, perhaps it's a good idea to shift your focus to ways you can apply your healthier, lighter body to better, more enjoyable day to day living?

This worked for me. I felt very much the same when I stopped losing weight. I set myself other goals, made sure to take proper care of myself and my appearance (sometimes feeling bad about how I look encourages me to not put any effort in, which doesn't actually make me feel better, whereas trying something new or pampering myself a bit does), and I also made an effort to try and stop negative self talk. So I banned myself from scrutinising my body in front of mirrors deliberately looking for things to be unhappy about.

Above all though, I think it does take a bit of time to 'settle in' to your new body.

TavistockToad

Jruzer wrote: »

An internet classic:

QFT

cwolfman13

weight loss =/= happiness...if you have underlying issues to begin with, these don't magically disappear when you drop weight. Generally speaking if you are unhappy with yourself and/or have poor self image to begin with, losing weight is going to make little to no difference. You have to deal with the underlying issue(s).

aippolito1

You can always try bulking to build muscle tone. :]

Neversettle78

I am making a lot of assumptions....but did you do any weight/strength training during your weight loss? My guess is no....so you need to work on building muscle and lowering body fat and you will likely achieve the body that you are/have been envisioning.

acorsaut89

As many have said - if you weren't in love with yourself before you won't be now, and no amount of weight loss can change that.

Someone mentioned doing strength training to re-comp and help you achieve what you may have been thinking you'd look like with weight loss.

I have found that in running, I used to think if I could just run a mile I'd be so happy and then it turned into well if I can complete a 5K, and then can I beat my PB, can I run the whole 5K . . . how long until I can do a 10K? . . . why aren't I improving on my time and/or distance?

It never ends, I always want to be better and do better. I am not at my goal weight yet but I don't really have a goal weight, either. So that's not helpful. But in reality, I am kind of like you: I hit one of my targets and I am not happy with that, I need something else to say I've done.

It's hard, but if you can love yourself and look at the all the things you've done to get where you are . . . realize it's not about the aesthetics although that is a big part, for all of us. You should be proud you hit that weight, but if you don't find out how to appreciate yourself for who you are you may never be happy. I'm not saying accept everything (or else none of us would be here) but you have to truly appreciate who you are and accept yourself to be happy with the changes.

I couldn't accept being 340lbs anymore, but I still loved myself. I was unhappy with the weight . . . and I became happy with myself through the process of losing. It takes time, but hopefully you will get there soon It's amazing how much better you feel when you're walking down the street knowing how awesome you are.

gothchiq

ghartleroad1 wrote: »

Me too. I just got to the same spot and am now looking into "recomposition", but am afraid of weight training.

What's fearsome about weight training? You won't look like a dude, don't worry! It will probably help you in many ways. Things that used to be hard to do become easy, and such.

lchillies

Thanks all I think im going to set some new goals and remind myself how much ive acheived! I used to cry at the thought of doing any exercise and now i do alot if HIIT so its not all bad!

Positive thinking

Ocrgrrrl

ghartleroad1 wrote: »

Me too. I just got to the same spot and am now looking into "recomposition", but am afraid of weight training.

Haha! You can't "recomp" without some sort of resistance training. Don't fear it! It is awesome, a real confidence builder, and is so empowering!!!! Every time I lift heavier than I did the week before it is like a high for me.

akboy58

I felt the same when I hit my goal weight. I've been around the weightloss-does-not-equal-perfect-happiness block before, and this time I'm following the advice of these other posters: setting new fitness goals, focusing on what my new body can do instead of how it looks, and rejoicing in BIG health improvements.

segacs

Jruzer wrote: »

An internet classic:

So much this!

tomatoey

cwolfman13 wrote: »

Generally speaking if you are unhappy with yourself and/or have poor self image to begin with, losing weight is going to make little to no difference. You have to deal with the underlying issue(s).

Maybe... but also, some of the effects of weight loss are unexpected. When you're overweight, you just kind of take your body for what it is. When you work hard to lose, get to the end, and find your concept of what you would look like isn't what you thought it'd be - because maybe you're older and things didn't spring right back to where they were, or you carried more weight than your skin could handle - it can be disconcerting. Especially when the whole time you're losing, you're thinking about an ideal body. And the reality is that the body changes, it's been through stuff and it's going to show it. Plus all the stuff people have mentioned about your mental map of your body lagging, which is just weird.

All that's to say that weight loss itself can introduce new issues, it doesn't mean the person necessarily has some massively deep underlying psychological problem.

OP if you did not focus on retaining muscle, you totally can build it up, as someone above said. Positive thinking for sure

I think working on acceptance is also very important, because there are limits in other ways, sometimes. Like you can't completely change your shape, changes to skin might be an issue. HOWEVER you are very young, so you're equipped to heal well, and time itself will take care of a lot of it

ExRelaySprinter

Excellent Post ^^.

faithyang

lchillies wrote: »

So finally reached my goal, am down to 9st 10lb from 14st. For ages i thought i would look in the mirror and love the way i look. But i dont, i just find myself picking at new areas all the time. Does anyone else feel like this and how do you combat that evil voice in your head that will tell you your fat!

Yeah sounds a little like me. Oh I've got a paunch on my belly, oh my arms are too flabby, oh my thighs are too fat. I only recently started getting worried about my weight and mentality when I looked at myself in the mirror one day (this morning actually) and noticed my pelvis was a little too visible, and I had lost too much weight.

So now I have to increase my weight. Without going back into my binge habit.

triciab79

Once upon a time I was 100lbs heavier and working for Lane Bryant. I went to work everyday surrounded by people my size or larger. I hung out with these same people and overall I looked in the mirror and though I looked good. It was only when I went back home to my thin family out of state that I was reminded I was fat. I am 100lbs lighter but I don't work for Lane Bryant anymore and in the community I live in everyone is thin and put together. The women spend more on their makeup, hair, and nails in a week than I have spent in my entire life. I am skinny but I am the ugly duckling none the less. These things are all about who we compare ourselves to. I was fat but I found myself sexy and stylish, now I am thin and by most standards pretty but in my world I am matronly and haggard. Somehow I have to love me without comparing me to anyone else.