Concern over congratulating people who are losing like 5+ lbs a week.

bbontheb

I'm not trying to cause issues but really I don't understand the positive reinforcement so many people are giving to others who are losing weight too fast. Person eats like 900-(or less) to 1050 calories a day, exercises like 1200-1500calories with HRM and does not eat anything back. Hours and hours of exercise and hardly eating anything. Then the losses (larger) and open diary days people are giving SO much congratulations, and reinforcing what I see as a bit of disordered thinking around it. Just seems so unhealthy. I would never want my children to have these sorts of habits. It's very concerning.

Thought I would mention it so that people who have friends who are perhaps on the edge of some sort of eating disorder (not sure what you call it)-to use caution in reinforcing these behaviours..

Just some thoughts of my own though (gut feelings) and perhaps I'm wrong about it (that it's okay?).

ETA: I changed the title from "Stop congratulating people..." to the current one since I fear it is taken that I am trying to tell people what to do.

shrinkingletters

I think this is reasonable to a point. Some people will start with some pretty big losses if they're heavy or just beginning. I suppose if its consistent past a certain point, I'd begin to grow concerned.

However if a person truly has an eating disorder, shaming them will absolutely do zero point none help. Maybe instead of suggesting not supporting them, suggest ways to have conversations with people you or others might be worried about.

vadersaysno

I don't think that's necessarily the case. When I first started dieting, the first couple of weeks, I lost around 5 lbs per. I was eating 1500 calories/day PLUS most, if not all of what I was burning in the gym. People's bodies are different. Why not be supportive of what some people are doing on here. Starving oneself is not the answer, but youre also not taking into consideration other factors either...maybe there was bloating the week before when they weighed in, maybe there was water retention, maybe they've just stopped a medication and that had been having an effect on their weight. Try to be positive because you don't truly know what people go through and they don't need to advertise everything about their private lives. JMO.

TheRoadDog

Perhaps you should pick a percentage of weight loss rather than actual weight. It's all relative. Someone 400 lbs can lose 5 lbs a week rather easily.

On the other hand, who are you to censor another person's positive comments?

Achaila

I get this. As someone with an eating disorder I try not to say much when it comes to someone dropping a lot of weight, because I know in the past those kinds of things motivated me to keep starving, purging, swallowing handfuls of laxatives and diuretics, ect. I have this extreme fear of "feeding" someone's eating disorder by telling them how good their self destruction is making them look. I'm not saying everyone who loses a lot of weight is being unhealthy about it, but it's hard to tell how far a person will push themselves to look good.

BUT at the same time I know that it's pretty normal for people to drop a lot of weight when they first change their lifestyle. Also I know it's normal for someone who is significantly overweight to drop a lot of weight in a really short amount of time.

Personally, I just keep mum because for me there isn't a gray area. It just is what it is. But that's Just me.

PerfectMisfit

Wait so you're not going to congratulate me if I lose 5 pounds this week?

bbontheb

shrinkingletters wrote: »

I think this is reasonable to a point. Some people will start with some pretty big losses if they're heavy or just beginning. I suppose if its consistent past a certain point, I'd begin to grow concerned.

However if a person truly has an eating disorder, shaming them will absolutely do zero point none help. Maybe instead of suggesting not supporting them, suggest ways to have conversations with people you or others might be worried about.

I don't think this is shaming them but if so, I apologize. This is directed to the people who are giving a lot of positive reinforcement. The person is not "that" large. It's not the first time I've seen it though.

TheRoadDog wrote: »

Perhaps you should pick a percentage of weight loss rather than actual weight. It's all relative. Someone 400 lbs can lose 5 lbs a week rather easily.

On the other hand, who are you to censor another person's positive comments?

I'm not censoring. I ask for people to critically analyze whether congratulating them on their 836 calorie day with 1499 extra calorie burned from 3 hours of hard core exercise is really great. Would you think the same if the person was 17 and doing the same things. How would one bring up the conversations? I did, and was met with aghast.

Achaila wrote: »

I get this. As someone with an eating disorder I try not to say much when it comes to someone dropping a lot of weight, because I know in the past those kinds of things motivated me to keep starving, purging, swallowing handfuls of laxatives and diuretics, ect. I have this extreme fear of "feeding" someone's eating disorder by telling them how good their self destruction is making them look. I'm not saying everyone who loses a lot of weight is being unhealthy about it, but it's hard to tell how far a person will push themselves to look good.

BUT at the same time I know that it's pretty normal for people to drop a lot of weight when they first change their lifestyle. Also I know it's normal for someone who is significantly overweight to drop a lot of weight in a really short amount of time.

Personally, I just keep mum because for me there isn't a gray area. It just is what it is. But that's Just me.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I definitely understand both points for sure.

ThomasW13 wrote: »

yeah its on them if they're starving themselves and overworking or whatever. years ago i used to make myself vomit after a big meal cause i felt gross/disappointed in myself. did that off/on for about 6-8 months then i just got over it and stopped. nobody's fault but my own and people being proud of me for weight lost never really made a big difference to me. it was about how I felt, personally, and that's just not something anybody else can change.

I agree with this. Sharing this takes a lot of courage. Thank you for sharing some of your experience with me. I'm happy that you were able to stop.

Razmataza wrote: »

Wait so you're not going to congratulate me if I lose 5 pounds this week?

I understand the odd time (whoosh) but if it's becoming quite stringent calorie restriction and tons of exercise in the day (running, cycling, etc)-I probably wouldn't. The whole thing scares me.