Moderation vs the "all or nothing" approach...

BritBoogaloo

Hello all!

I'm fairly new on MFP- I've been doing this for the last 7 weeks and have lost just over 10lbs so far.

I'm really happy about my progress this far, but I know I need to carry this in a long term, so I wanted to ask you guys for advice on my biggest weakness... MODERATION.

I'm TERRIBLE at moderation and have always had an "all or nothing" mindset when it comes to exercise and weight loss.

I have been successful so far because for the last 7 weeks I have been rigidly sticking to my meal and exercise plan. I haven't had sugar, coffee or alcohol for pretty much this whole time and have been exercising consistently doing weights and cardio 6 times a week.

I'm worried because realistically speaking, there will be that time when I succumb to temptation and eat that cookie or I can't stick to my meal plan, or I can't train. When that time comes, I'm SO worried that I'll completely fall off the wagon and hinder what I've done so far.

When I'm not making healthy eating choices, I can't just eat ONE cookie, I eat half the packet.

How do you guys practice moderation? Do you have any tips?

zakjal101

When i started i also was doing weights and cardio 6 times a week. needed to drop weight fast. after the first 4 weeks 1 was down 20 lbs and made my goal. but i realized that that pace was not realistic for me. I adjusted my workouts to 4 days a week mix of cardio and weights 3 and 3 with one day i do both and stuck to food tracking.
There are days when the craving overwhelms you or when your out with others who aren't tracking or special occasions. Keep track of your weekly calorie totals. If you binge on one day don't worry just make an adjustment the other days so that your weekly caloric count is fine. On Sunday Fathers day i consumed 3300 calories when my daily intake is only 1200. so i'm cutting back the rest of the days and adding in an extra workout day so my weekly figure is fine. After i lost the initial 20 lbs i gained some of it back but i'm in my 10th week and have gained some muscle so my total weight loss is only 27 lbs but i dont pay much attention to the scale since i have added muscle. I know ive lost alot because I have had to buy new clothes and am tracking measurements to track my progress rather than the scale. two weeks ago i went crazy my daughter baked a cake and i had 3 pieces. for the rest of the week i cut back a little and went higher on protein and lower on carbs.
Temptation is tough so i try to avoid having any around and if it is then i will have a large glass of water first so if i go crazy im too stuffed to go completely crazy.

You can do it. Were here for support if you feel the urge to go crazy.

Alyssa_Is_LosingIt

Some people struggle with moderation, and that's okay. It may be beneficial for you to cut all of your "trigger" foods out for a bit and introduce them back in slowly later on as you learn healthier habits.

If you do binge, log every bite of it. Being brutally honest with yourself and seeing the impact that a binge has on your goals can be very eye-opening.

That being said, I am not an advocate of demonizing foods, and I do feel that cutting out the foods that you enjoy can lead to binging and is not sustainable forever. Are you going to go the rest of your life without another piece of birthday cake? Never eat a cookie again? Learning to fit foods that make you happy into your calorie and macro/micronutrient goals will be a helpful skill for maintaining your weight loss long term.

vixtris

Hi! Personally, I think it's better to go with a moderation approach than all or nothing. Plan to have one day every one or two weeks to have a cheat meal. Theres nothing wrong with having treats if they fit into your calorie limit. It takes discipline to not eat a whole sleeve of cookies, lol. Just have one or two and keep the rest out of site.

triciab79

I am just like you. I have to do it all or nothing to be successful. The good news is you can and still have long term success. If you stick to your no cheating lifestyle for long enough the temptations will lessen. It took months before mine became bearable but eventually things like pizza, hamburgers, cake, candy, booze, or even girl scout cookies stopped seeming like they were worth the pounds they put on me. I went into my diet with a zero tolerance for cheating policy and I was 100lbs lighter in 9 months. I reached goal 3yrs ago and I have only put 5 of those lbs back on (intentionally developing muscles for the profile costume). I can go to a burger place and not feel deprived when I order a salad. I can eat a single slice of pizza and not need to finish the rest of the pie. I can break off a piece of a chocolate bar and eat it over the course of several days instead of several minutes. Some people just need to break the cycle to get better. If the approach is working for you don't worry about what is down the road just do what you need to do for now. If I had kept eating cake and pizza while I was trying to lose I would have failed for the millionth time. I had to break the addiction to using food for comfort and develop coping and social skills that didn't use food as a crutch.

BritBoogaloo

Thanks for your advice, everyone! I really appreciate it. I think I will try to abstain from "trigger foods" as suggested by a couple of people above. I really want to ultimately learn moderation but I'm not sure if I am there yet. Still, time will tell! Thank you to all!

nyponbell

I struggle with something similar (I think a lot of people do) - I can't seem to find a good balance between going all in and being, well, the old me. I have a lot of ups and downs, and that's part of the territory I think. For me, just realising that I'm still here and I'm still logging everything I eat (even the trigger food and the 1000 cal chocolate in one sitting) helps a lot, because I've not "given up" and I'm actively trying to find that balance.

So if you ever do find yourself in a situation where you are going off the wagon for a bit, just make sure to log and own it and move past it. I think the guilt associated with the bad food often makes it worse.

dakotababy

I have been at this for 3 years...and "falling off the wagon" has happened many many many times. I did not eat "perfectly" for the last 3 years. The trick is making sure you get back on the wagon IMMEDIATELY. That is the hardest part - to not give up on yourself.

Here are a few things I do when I decide to slack/indulge.
1 - I add the calories to the following day (thus, I eat less the following day).

2 - I split the calories (Lets say I have 4 pieces of pizza at supper. I log two for today, two for tomorrow) Also, this goes for the days prior if there was a day where I did not eat all of my calories. (Yesterday I had 300 calories left over - great!, Ill log a slice there) ETA - I have actually split a really bad binge on pizza my 1st year over the course of an entire week. I ate a whole pizza to myself, so for the rest of the week I ate less by 1 slice worth of calories each day to make up for it. Of course, I took a look at what happened emotionally and why I lost control. Has not happened since, because I would probably throw up. Back then - a full pizza to myself was nothing.


3 - I work out. Especially if I had a heavy meal (often thanksgiving/xmas time) Before the meal, the day prior or the following day. Make sure you fit in a workout that you love to help off-set the calories.

4 - Sometimes, when I go to a chinese buffet and I splurge (off the wagon) I just move on and reset the next day (back on the wagon). Learn to forgive myself, dont punish myself, and move on. (This is the hardest to do)

5 - At times, if I end up going out for supper twice in 1 weekend or something like that, I will make a conscious effort to eat more veggies through out the week...keep a balance. Some people go with a 80/20 rule, or 90/10 rule...so if I am needing a bit of slack, I just remember that MOST OF THE TIME (80-90%) I eat well.

6 - If I splurge on a big meal...I try to fit in some heavy weight lifting...since I am likely in a surplus anyway - I figure it is a good time to work the muscles and use that surplus as a benefit.

I have lost 101.4lbs. It has been a long *kitten* trip. Whatever you do - do not give up (or you will just get bigger and bigger). As long as you keep trying your best, one day (no matter what) you will reach your goal!

Soopatt

I have never been great with moderation but I agree with the others who say that it gets easier. For me, I have changed my ways over the last few months through a couple of disastrous experiments - I do not ban any foods but I am rigid about staying within calories, so if I want the chocolate or cake, I get nothing else the rest of the day if it consumes my calories. I have even had days when I blow my calories on condensed milk...

What I quickly learnt was that I feel revolting and unsatisfied doing that and what works much better is just a bit of chocolate and lots of other healthier things around it. I had to find that out for myself.

LivingtheLeanDream

I am a firm believer in moderation working, but then for me I always could stop at one cookie or one slice of cake etc... its not for everyone but I will say that the more you practice moderation the easier it becomes.

What I do if something isn't utterly delicious after 1 bite (I mean something high in cals, cake etc) I will just give it away (..to hubby! he can eat what he wants and it never shows).

Gone are the days when I eat something for the sake of it.

I also enjoy being slim too much for these past couple of years and thats enough for me to think twice about every morsel that goes in my mouth.

AislingHunter

I have the exact same problem, I can't just have one cookie, I'll eat the whole packet! How I got around this was by having 1 day a week where I eat my maintenance calories, and I shove it full of popcorn, ice cream and chocolate! I stick to my diet the rest of the week, and then have a blowout on that cheat day, which allows me to forget about moderation (which I suck at). I actually choose snacks where I can eat the whole thing and stay within maintenance, so I get to binge and not gain weight at the same time!

I know it's not sustainable to never eat the foods I love again, I'd just fall off the wagon and put the weight back on.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I think that self-control is like a muscle. You have to exercise it in order to make it stronger, but at the same time you don't want to tax it too much right away or it will fail. If you want to do a 200 lb squat you don't start with a 200 lb squat. You start with the bar and you learn how to squat with no weight. Then you build up. If you put 200 lbs on the bar right away you would fail, probably hurt yourself, and then you might lament that you're one of those people who just isn't ever going to be able to squat 200 lbs.

So let's say your problem food is ice cream. What I would do is remove ice cream from the house temporarily. When you want ice cream you go out to an ice cream shop, get a single scoop, and leave the store with the ice cream before starting to eat it. Once you've done that successfully a few times, then start buying one or two of those little single serving ice cream containers. Practice having them in the freezer without eating them. Then practice just having one and leaving the other one. Then move up to having a pint of ice cream in there. Practice weighing out one serving and putting the rest back. One thing that helped me on the ice cream front was to buy the good stuff. For one thing sometimes the price tag would stop me when the calorie count wouldn't.

You may have setbacks and that's okay. It's hard work to change habits and it isn't always going to be perfect. Personally when I came to MFP I didn't just want to lose weight. I wanted to fix the things that were broken about the way I view and respond to food and to my environment. It's a personal growth thing. So that makes it worth it to me.

msf74

I think either is approach is valid depending to your emotional reaction to it.

If either make you feel like a failure / terrible / worthless if you do not manage to stick to it then it is likely to lead to inconsistency or falling off completely. If they don't then crack on.

KANGOOJUMPS

I like all or nothing,,, I go overboard when it comes to cardio, I have to burn over 1000 calories a day 7 days a week or I am not happy

grrrlface

I believe moderation is key but I find it hard too so what I do now is eat well during the week , just salads with different proteins/carbs, then on a Friday or Saturday I will have a cheat meal with dessert, snacks before or after and drinks.
I do yoga and walking during the week too, burning on average around 300 cals a day.

My meals during the week tend to be very similar but I live for that tasty, tasty cheat meal! Hehe! This week it's a meal out and cocktails.

nicola8989

it does get easier - if I ate one "bad" thing e.g. some chocolate or fast food I'd go "oh f**k it" and just eat rubbish all day but I'm learning to mix both in now, have fast food for one meal then healthy food at other times - I think that being mindful of what you eat and tracking/logging everything helps you to learn to put it into perspective.

nicola8989

and planning helps a lot too. Planning meals etc

missh1967

BritBoogaloo wrote: »

How do you guys practice moderation?

You do EXACTLY that - practice. I used to be same way. I was either eating healthy and exercising 100% of the time, or I was eating like crap and not exercising.

It has taken me a long time to learn that I actually can eat unhealthy things in moderation and I won't die and I won't gain 50 pounds overnight. Yes, sometimes I overindulge, but I've learned to accept it and move on and just remain persistant with my healthy way of life. I can skip a workout or two (sometimes I go weeks without because of work or whatever else), and I know that I will pick it up again.

Also, when I overeat now, I always remember that that is how I used to feel on a daily basis, and do I want to feel that way again all the time? My answer is always "No."

Moderation is possible, but yes, it takes "practice."

woznube7

This is a daily struggle for me. Reading all of these posts are so insightful and a great reminder. Putting these suggestions/tips to use,

Jruzer

I used to have this mindset as well. I have found that I have slowly become better at moderation, but I have been at it for almost 4 years. As was said, practice!

What's wrong with coffee? It's practically a food group for me and I find it can be a nice respite when I want to ingest something.

cwolfman13

thinking that you will be 100% "on" 100% of the time is a recipe for failure...it's a completely unrealistic approach. life happens...you're going to miss workouts from time to time...there are always going to be birthdays and parties and such...to think you're never going to have something "bad" every again is ridiculous.

It really helps if you take a step back and look at the totality of your diet overall...as an example, I'm a self admitted food snob and a whole foods/minimally processed food snob at that...suffice it to say that the vast majority of my diet (probably 95%) is derived from whole foods or minimally processed foods...but I have pizza night with my two kiddos and my wife every couple of weeks...in the context of my diet as a whole, having a couple slices of pizza evry 2-3 weeks is pretty much irrelevant don't you think? I mean did having those two slices of pizza somehow undo all of my awesome nutrition that I was taking in before?

EmmaFitzwilliam

Knowledge is power. There are always consequences. And, I choose to be accountable to myself about my food choices from here forward, but I'm not going to choose misery. I allow myself indulgences, and enjoy them fully and absolutely. That way, when the portion is finished, I'm sated both physically and emotionally.

cuppykat

I try to practice moderation. I still screw up but I try to remind myself that I'll feel so much prouder if I don't overdo it. I try to remind myself of how bad I feel after a binge.

gothicfires

I've lost weight both ways, eating everything I love in moderation and completely changing my eating habits. For me it was much easier doing it the second way. Food is fuel not a party. Fun is being able to go on a hike or dancing with friends. Since I eat healthier I feel better and am much happier. I have a sense of accomplishment that I didn't have before. Now those 'can't do without foods' are a minor bump in my road when I see them or they make me sick to my stomach (depending on their fat content) and I'm good having a special meal once a month.

thatpixichick

I used to be mega addicted to cheese, toast, and anything potatoey, literally couldn't go a day without them. I found totally cutting them out has meant that now, several months on, I'm very "meh" about all those things, I can take or leave them. In my experience, your tastebuds do reset themselves after a while, you will start craving other things.

Spocky

The everything in moderatin idea not works for me. If I open a bag of crackers, I will eat a lot of that. I loved a certain type of hamburger but I stopped missing it.

adcrag1

If we remember that these changes are for life, then if you eat something or skip the gym, you can get back on track the next day!!

What has worked for me is before I go to bed I remind myself that I'll watch my eating & determine what exercise I plan to do tomorrow. I also take my lunch & snacks with me to help with over eating.

Good luck everyone! !

deviiv

For exercise- if it is built into your routine and your routine is realistic and not going to work you into the ground, just let it roll. You deserve to give yourself that time to work out, plus the other benefits from doing so like mentally.

For food- I believe in out of sight, out of mind. However, it is not that easy with generous housemates. I plan as much of my food as I can with a small leeway. Also, when I've had a weak moment at the shops and bought something naughty. I'll apportion it out into smaller servings and stash them at the top shelf of a cupboard where I'll have to get a chair to reach them. You run the risk of the food spoiling, but during your regular clean they should come up again. If I have bothered getting all the way to get a serve, then it's already portioned out and I get my fix and move on.

WinoGelato

ILiftHeavyAcrylics wrote: »

I think that self-control is like a muscle. You have to exercise it in order to make it stronger, but at the same time you don't want to tax it too much right away or it will fail. If you want to do a 200 lb squat you don't start with a 200 lb squat. You start with the bar and you learn how to squat with no weight. Then you build up. If you put 200 lbs on the bar right away you would fail, probably hurt yourself, and then you might lament that you're one of those people who just isn't ever going to be able to squat 200 lbs.

So let's say your problem food is ice cream. What I would do is remove ice cream from the house temporarily. When you want ice cream you go out to an ice cream shop, get a single scoop, and leave the store with the ice cream before starting to eat it. Once you've done that successfully a few times, then start buying one or two of those little single serving ice cream containers. Practice having them in the freezer without eating them. Then practice just having one and leaving the other one. Then move up to having a pint of ice cream in there. Practice weighing out one serving and putting the rest back. One thing that helped me on the ice cream front was to buy the good stuff. For one thing sometimes the price tag would stop me when the calorie count wouldn't.

You may have setbacks and that's okay. It's hard work to change habits and it isn't always going to be perfect. Personally when I came to MFP I didn't just want to lose weight. I wanted to fix the things that were broken about the way I view and respond to food and to my environment. It's a personal growth thing. So that makes it worth it to me.

I can't actually say it any more perfectly than this so I'm just going to quote this for emphasis....

What I will add is that I'm not a fan of the "cheat meal" or "cheat day" where you go all in and then back to heavily restricted eating. For me, I prefer to work the indulgences in every day, or every few days, in smaller amounts. I have a glass (or two) of wine almost every day. I have something sweet, whether it be one square of Ghiradelli Salted Caramel Dark Chocolate, or a half serving of gelato, every day. I know some people have issues with trigger foods and at first stopping at one piece of chocolate may not be realistic, which is where I think Acrylics advice that I quoted is so important.

Good luck!

MamaBirdBoss

Only do a "meal plan" for 80% of your calories. The other 20% let be whatever you feel in the mood for.

And WHY THE HECK did you cut out coffee? If it's a daily thing for you, just plan for it!

DuckReconMajor

Yeah no need to cut out coffee, either plan for it or just learn to drink it black! It's an acquired taste. Just make sure to drink good coffee, maybe start with a lighter roast. And it's great since you don't have to log it (unless you want to log the 5 or so calories in a really big cup, in which case more power to you).