The couch potato muscle building plan

bendyourkneekatie

So since apparently if I eat too little I will put on/conserve weight, I was thinking, couldn't the same principle be applied to building muscle? If I, say, sit on the couch and don't move for a really long time, my body will think my muscles are going to atrophy, and will start building more! I could do a progressive lifting program, I know, but that's just so much effort...
Obviously, I don't want want my body to go into starvation mode, so I'll need to make sure I have enough food. I've always wanted to buy one of those massive jars of Nutella, and I could call this super awesome plan the Nutella and Netflix 24.6 Day Body Transformational Magic Fix. All you need is a big spoon, and probably a bed pan (ew). Maybe pour a bit of coconut oil on the Nutella for some extra mystical magical ripped abs.
Just send me your credit card/house deeds/first born. Results guaranteed. Results may vary.

giannigreco83

friend request sent lol.... you're a funny genius troll

SLLRunner

katem999 wrote: »

So since apparently if I eat too little I will put on/conserve weight, I was thinking, couldn't the same principle be applied to building muscle? If I, say, sit on the couch and don't move for a really long time, my body will think my muscles are going to atrophy, and will start building more! I could do a progressive lifting program, I know, but that's just so much effort...
Obviously, I don't want want my body to go into starvation mode, so I'll need to make sure I have enough food. I've always wanted to buy one of those massive jars of Nutella, and I could call this super awesome plan the Nutella and Netflix 24.6 Day Body Transformational Magic Fix. All you need is a big spoon, and probably a bed pan (ew). Maybe pour a bit of coconut oil on the Nutella for some extra mystical magical ripped abs.
Just send me your credit card/house deeds/first born. Results guaranteed. Results may vary.

Is this a joke? I'm not sure, except you have asked for my credit cards and house deeds. They're in the mail.

For the newcomers:

You will only gain weight if you eat too much.

You gain muscle from working your muscles hard (heavy weight lifting) and eating at maintenance or a surplus.

Your body will not go into starvation mode unless you don't eat for a very long period of time and lose a large amount of fat and muscle, so much so that your body starts to shut down. In fact, starvation mode is a myth as to people who are overweight or normal weight.

Orphia

katem999 wrote: »

So since apparently if I eat too little I will put on/conserve weight, I was thinking, couldn't the same principle be applied to building muscle? If I, say, sit on the couch and don't move for a really long time, my body will think my muscles are going to atrophy, and will start building more! I could do a progressive lifting program, I know, but that's just so much effort...
Obviously, I don't want want my body to go into starvation mode, so I'll need to make sure I have enough food. I've always wanted to buy one of those massive jars of Nutella, and I could call this super awesome plan the Nutella and Netflix 24.6 Day Body Transformational Magic Fix. All you need is a big spoon, and probably a bed pan (ew). Maybe pour a bit of coconut oil on the Nutella for some extra mystical magical ripped abs.
Just send me your credit card/house deeds/first born. Results guaranteed. Results may vary.

Packerjohn

30 seconds of life wasted

nutmegoreo

katem999 wrote: »

So since apparently if I eat too little I will put on/conserve weight, I was thinking, couldn't the same principle be applied to building muscle? If I, say, sit on the couch and don't move for a really long time, my body will think my muscles are going to atrophy, and will start building more! I could do a progressive lifting program, I know, but that's just so much effort...
Obviously, I don't want want my body to go into starvation mode, so I'll need to make sure I have enough food. I've always wanted to buy one of those massive jars of Nutella, and I could call this super awesome plan the Nutella and Netflix 24.6 Day Body Transformational Magic Fix. All you need is a big spoon, and probably a bed pan (ew). Maybe pour a bit of coconut oil on the Nutella for some extra mystical magical ripped abs.
Just send me your credit card/house deeds/first born. Results guaranteed. Results may vary.

Not sure why I would send you my credit card when you have outlined the program so well here. I will be happy to give it a go and provide you with a glowing testimonial. Can I put the Nutella in the microwave and drink it with a straw? It seems to me that lifting the spoon would be a lot like doing bicep curls, so I would become lopsided with my eating arm being much smaller than my non-eating arm.


Obligatory cat gif, so no one takes me too serious :frown: