Those who have lost lots: how do you learn to accept the sagging and wrinkling?
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Actually they improved before even the skin started to bounce back. I was 135-118 still losing but not working out so at 5'4" I imagine I still did not have what would be considered a low BF% and my BMI was in the normal range for my height and age. You don't lose weight evenly across your body. I had this lopsided stomach thing where you could actually see a mass of fat just hanging on one side and not the other, plus there were some on my thighs, around my knees, back,behind my arms, and even my face. They weren't like normal fat that seems to coat an area, they were pockets. They made me look lumpy naked and made my face look swollen.
This is my face at about 135 I had lost about 70lbs in the previous 6 months and things were lumpy everywhere. Notice the lopsided jaw line, that was real, there was more fat on that side of my face.
This is 6 months later at 118
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I'm middle-aged too. I just figure I am old enough to be a Grammy now, so it's OK to have Grammy boobs, along with a road map of varicose veins and stretch marks. LOL It doesn't seem to phase my hubby at all, so that definitely helps, since we're the only two people outside of my medical team who would ever see me nekkid.0
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Look at all these posts with no snark! This is why I love MFP. You're making me feel better about it. Thank you. :-)0
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Does anybody know: can they do a boob lift without implants? I may need a reduction too but right now they are kind of flat and saggy with nips that look like Marty Feldman eyes (looking in two completely different directions).
Should do. Ask about mastopexy. My breasts are wacky. One is "normal" and the other is looking off to right and down.
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I'm not quite done yet, with another 12 or so pounds to go, but this is bugging me more than I had anticipated.
Since restarting my diet in earnest last November, I've lost 23 kilos. Over the last few years, I've gone from having a BMI that was off the NHS website's chart, to a now healthy BMI. That's about 36 kilos so far (or about 80 pounds, or 5 and a half stone). I'm 41 and have been obese or very overweight since I was about 7 or 8. So I knew there would be loose skin.
I didn't realise how different my skin would look though. I've never really been vain, but suddenly I'm fretting about appearance more than I ever have.
I sag, and wrinkle. My boobs, they used to be magnificent E cups. Gawd, I loved them. Now they are empty, sagging, wrinkled little bags that I thought I would not get until I was geriatric.
I have loose skin that irritates in places you would never ever expect. (Yes, there.)
The worst parts are where I was fattest - my tummy, breasts and inner thighs, upper arms. The areas where there's more muscle like arms and thighs will improve as I increase my strength training and move to maintenance, and muscle fills up the empty pockets where fat used to be. There is no hope for everything else, and I'm having a hard time dealing with that.
My bum, never my biggest bit, appears to have made it through unscathed, thanks to the cross trainer. So I'm happy about that.
The maddening thing is that with clothes on, I'm fine, much more confident than I ever was. I love how swift and light my new body is. But naked, I'm far, far less confident about my body than I ever was. I never was one for leaving the lights off, but I think that if I wasn't such a fake-it-till-you-make-it sort of person, that's the direction I'd be heading in.
I'm middle aged. It's probably not going to snap back. The NHS doesn't do any sort of skin removal or tightening surgery, even for extreme cases. So I'm going to have to accept it.
Has anyone else got to this point and learned to love themselves naked, accept the battle scars and feel comfortable in their new skin?
I have similar circumstances. In my 40s, have lost 38 kilos and have 15-18 to go. I was thisclose to being off the BMI chart - high end of Class II Obese and am now just a few little pounds from hitting the Healthy BMI mark (which I'm excited about). It wasn't until I'd lost 25-30 that I began seeing the wrinkles that were to become my loose skin.
I have a lot now and while my boobs make me saddest, I try to remember that everyone's boobs sag some with age, mine were just fuller because they were shoved full of fat. But I know they're worse than they'd have been if I hadn't been fat all those years. And I really and truly hate it.
Stomach - ick. Between childbirth and fatness it's loose and gross and has stretch marks. Their old and pale, but still there.
Thighs - oh, God, the upper thighs are gross. And get grosser all the time.
For a long time, I didn't care that much because only people who love you see those areas, so it's not SUCH a big deal. But now...it's everywhere. My arms - upper and lower. At the knees, kinda droopy. My lower legs, it kind of hangs off the muscle in the back. I asked the doctor about it and he commented on how well-developed my calf muscles were. Wth. He doesn't know - maybe it'll snap back, probably not.
Now that it's everywhere, it bugs me when I notice it. I hope there will be snapping back, but it would seem unlikely that it'll get better as I get older and lose elasticity, which we all do as we age.
I have come to accept that my body will never be what I hoped I'd get when I started thinking, "maybe I can lose it all!"
But accepting it and being okay with it are two different things. It just sucks and short of many vanity surgeries, there is nothing to be done about it. If I'm ever okay with it, I'll let you know.0 -
I appreciate your writing this. I'm still fairly early in the game here, but I think about this a lot. It feels dumb- I wasn't concerned about how I looked obese for a decade, but loose skin is bothersome to me? And unlike many of you, at my heaviest I barely managed to fill a B cup- what's left after 70 or 80 lbs are gone surely won't be a pretty sight! But OP, I've read many encouraging stories on this and other threads and it really does sound like you can expect some improvement with time. But I imagine to some extent we will all need to remind ourselves that everything is relative
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I don't have a choice but to accept it. Does anyone know where I can get a long sleeved, down to the ankle bathing suit to cover this mess???!!!!!
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I used to think about it a lot...I came to the conclusion that worrying about something that I can't change was self-sabotage.
I have a large...really large abdominal hernia. Makes me look like a medical phenomenon...pregnant at 62. I notice it more now that I have lost weight. My choices...deal with how it looks or go back to being large...really large all over.
I look bad naked...but before I looked bad naked and fully dressed.
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I don't have a choice but to accept it. Does anyone know where I can get a long sleeved, down to the ankle bathing suit to cover this mess???!!!!!
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lol i know i will sound boring now
but by accepting the fact that i will have excess skin..( sorry for being so simple)
BUT I WILL LOOK FABULOUS IN JEANS AND A TOP OR DRESSES AND SKIRTS!!
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OP, I appreciate that you talk about your experience. I have lost about 50 lbs over the last 2.5 years, and have another 40-50 to go. With the last 10 I started noticing the skin on my inner thigh hanging, and my tummy is still folding over and sagging. I am at the point where I know I am going to have to accept that saggy skin is going to happen.
I am not proud of how big I was, but I am proud of the amount of dedication it has taken to get to where I am now, and what it will take to get the rest of the way. I don't know if the lifts and tucks are in my future, not until I get there. By the time I do, I may just decide that it's fine to be comfortable with the remnants of the battle fought trying to reverse the damage I did through making bad choices and allowing my emotions to make my decisions. The skin will be a symbol of my strength and the recognition that this is my life and I am in control.0 -
I'm in the same boat
Considering surgery because parts of me seem pretty doomed...0 -
Come on you ladies...... chin up
Like i said you will look awesome in clothes
Only nude is for your self and partner who loves you despite you having extra skin.
Be happy 0 -
Haha! Thanks for the visual. Yes, they can, but they often will try to get you to do a small implant too, because that gives a better shape and therefore a more 'pleasing' final result.You don't know what you're going to end up with yet ..as it can take up to 2 years to recover as much as it's going to
But in the long term you could have cosmetic surgery
I do know what you mean ...but patience and then decisions
That's basically where I am now. The wrinkly wobblies under my upper arms is the most annoying part, especially since I have developed nice muscle definition in the biceps from my lap swimming. My body can stop losing fat there and start losing more from the belly any time now! The belly wrinkles and saggy boobs I can live with for now (thanks to all-in-one body shapers and spanx), but we'll see how bad they get after I lose my final 40 lb (111 lb gone so far). My plan is to get to goal, wait a year, and decide what I want to do. I suspect surgery is in my future.
Does anybody know: can they do a boob lift without implants? I may need a reduction too but right now they are kind of flat and saggy with nips that look like Marty Feldman eyes (looking in two completely different directions).
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Time for a burqini?I don't have a choice but to accept it. Does anyone know where I can get a long sleeved, down to the ankle bathing suit to cover this mess???!!!!!
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I don't have a choice but to accept it. Does anyone know where I can get a long sleeved, down to the ankle bathing suit to cover this mess???!!!!!
Well, actually, yes I do. Don't laugh. I have been researching these for quite some time. Even before I started my weight loss process, I have been dealing with trying to find a swimsuit that would cover my upper arms. I have a double whammy of having a huge, deflated pouch on my upper arm from lipoma removal a few years ago, and added to my now-starting-to-really-sag upper arms, it is quite hideous. My arm looks very deformed.
There are rashguards you can buy instead of a regular swim top. But what I've been seriously considering are what are known as "modest" swimsuits, which have many different styles and options. I want to be able to swim, not just have something to wear to the beach, so I want something streamlined that won't float around and get baggy when wet. Here are a few websites for you to peruse:
https://modli.co/swimwear.html
simply-modest.com/posecom/index.php
I particularly like this site and it's where I will probably buy a swim top:
http://www.sunwayuvclothing.com/maincat.asp?cat=1&bcat=17
There are also complete full swimsuits online, tons of them, for Muslim women who want to swim but must be covered from head to ankle. People might laugh, but I am really glad to see that there are companies that provide swimsuits like this. Older and heavier women should have more options than the short skirted swimsuits that seem to be the only thing that appears on plus-size websites.
I am almost 60 and am very worried about this sagging skin. My face is sagging already, and it scares me how much worse I'm going to look as I lose more weight. But I'm going to lose it anyway, because I am pretty certain that the statin drugs I am on for cholesterol are damaging my muscles and I want to be off them and the blood pressure medicine. Looking better would be a nice plus, but it appears that I will look much worse when I'm done. Although I am completely motivated and won't let that stop me, it certainly takes something away from my current success at losing weight.
Oh, and yes, you can have a breast lift without implants. I asked my doctor this and it can be done. Just Google those terms, and check Image Search first and you will see several examples. Shockingly, because my doctor listed me as having "gynecomastia" (large breasts) and that I have back pain from them, he said my insurance would actually cover such a surgery, so you might want to check with your doctor and see if he says the same thing.
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I also want to mention that excessive loose skin and severely sagging breasts is probably a much scarier issue for single women who are still in the market for a relationship. Even at my age, one of the thoughts in the back of my head is that, once I am thinner, perhaps I might find somebody. But looking at my body, and knowing it will get worse, I probably should banish those thoughts. It's kind of sad.0
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LaceyBirds wrote: »I also want to mention that excessive loose skin and severely sagging breasts is probably a much scarier issue for single women who are still in the market for a relationship. Even at my age, one of the thoughts in the back of my head is that, once I am thinner, perhaps I might find somebody. But looking at my body, and knowing it will get worse, I probably should banish those thoughts. It's kind of sad.
I agree. I am 62 and have been widowed for many years. So I am to a point that while I won't say that looks are entirely irrelevant...it is more about the health.
Besides...maybe just maybe any man that I might be interested in has failing eye sight and won't notice all the saggy baggy stretched out areas of my body.
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Seems to me you already had accepted your overweight/obese body, why is it harder for you to accept a healthier, skinnier and saggy body.
I just see it as more of a consequence of your actions, just got to accept it and move on.
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LaceyBirds wrote: »I also want to mention that excessive loose skin and severely sagging breasts is probably a much scarier issue for single women who are still in the market for a relationship. Even at my age, one of the thoughts in the back of my head is that, once I am thinner, perhaps I might find somebody. But looking at my body, and knowing it will get worse, I probably should banish those thoughts. It's kind of sad.
Exactly. A partner who has seen you at different sizes and been by your side as you have lost weight will be used to the changes. For anyone new, I can only imagine that a warning beforehand is going to be necessary. Once you reach a healthy weight, how you look with clothes on might (will) suggest that what's underneath looks vastly different to the reality. All that sagging, puckering, wrinkling, flapping, folding and so on could come as a hell of a shock.0
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