Gaining back weight (and maintaining it) without slipping back into binging/unhealthy habits

faithyang

Hi everyone! I posted in the nutrition/weight loss support and was advised to try someplace else!

I've successfully reached my goal and during a busy few weeks where I was eating well daily I weighed myself and was shocked to see I had gone below my healthy BMI range. Subsequently when I looked in the mirror after my hubby commented I was getting too skinny I began to notice I had ribs sticking out where I'm not comfortable with.

So it hit home that my goals of weight loss has been completed and I went into maintenance mode where I upped my calorie intake in a healthy way by adding more side dishes to my usual dinner options and included a healthy sweet/savoury treat at the end of the day or dinner. I didn't change my cheat days except to stop beating myself mentally over eating a calorific meal.

I weighed myself again after a week and was alarmed to find out I had lost almost a kilo, and a few days ago where I have lost a full kg. Now this has gotten me a little worried because I am not kidding or bs-ing when I say I AM EATING MORE. Same exercise, same cheat days.

I originally started my weight loss journey because I ate too much, too unhealthily and too frequently. Midway through my journey I developed a binge eating problem - no purging, just binge attacks, hoarding food without eating them (except rarely 1-2 pcs from a packet/carton in months), and a very obsessive mentality towards food in general. The usual - over-planning food/meals, thinking about it all day everyday, not going out because of potentially food appearing, etc etc. It doesn't sound as extreme as the above of course its a general progression.

I still ate of course, never really starved but I severely restricted my food, food options, except for cheat days which were extremely controlled, with the occasional binge blow out of 2000-3000 calories, or the weekend binge.

Now that I need to put on weight, I don't want to slip back into the "I can eat whatever dafurk I wanna" mentality and lose all those good habits, discipline, etc that I have built over the period of weight loss. But I don't want to slip into a panic on eating more and going into overdrive of weight loss and disordered food obsession again.

I've never been this skinny in my life and have absolutely no benchmark or direction as to how or where to go from here. My goal is health, so yes I am worried.

Any suggestions on how I can sustainably gain some weight without cutting out my exercise routine, my health(ier) eating habits and the discipline I've built...walking that tightrope of triggering a binge habit or an eating disordered habit?

I know this seems to belong to the weight gain category but the threads there seem to be about bulking as opposed to general diet/weight loss centric questions?

p.s. I have been trying to eat more but somehow after dropping down below the healthy bmi range I seem to have alot of difficulty finding motivation to eat or feeling like to eat. When I was larger I could literally really enjoy and make myself eat lots of delicious, high/low/whatever fat foods. Now it seems...I enjoy planning, looking at food, etc but I find it really hard to make myself eat. Like physically and mentally as well. Physically as in - I don't feel hungry. Mentally as in - I don't feel 'motivated' or have the motivation to 'action' all the food plans I made to eat when it comes down to eating. I'm really confused and concerned.

Any help, suggestions etc to tackle the practical, emotional and mental aspect of this new phase from everyone is much appreciated.

nxd10

This sounds like a complicated set of issues. But right now you're doing fine, yes? So keep doing that. In terms of eating too much, perhaps it might be helpful to focus on eating food you love in reasonable portions. Feeling like you're depriving yourself makes people go overboard when they finally take the plunge and eat what you want.

More importantly though, perhaps you might talk to a counselor about why you binge? Is it low blood sugar? Does it relieve anxiety? In other words, is it a food issues or something else that's just coming out that way. If the latter, you'll be happier if you figure it out.

faithyang

nxd10 wrote: »

This sounds like a complicated set of issues. But right now you're doing fine, yes? So keep doing that. In terms of eating too much, perhaps it might be helpful to focus on eating food you love in reasonable portions. Feeling like you're depriving yourself makes people go overboard when they finally take the plunge and eat what you want.

More importantly though, perhaps you might talk to a counselor about why you binge? Is it low blood sugar? Does it relieve anxiety? In other words, is it a food issues or something else that's just coming out that way. If the latter, you'll be happier if you figure it out.

Thank you for your suggestion!

I think it definitely is a mental/emotional coping mechanism that has a massive part to play.

Shelbie1022

Sounds a little like what I'm currently going through. I compete in figure bodybuilding competions and have created an obsession with meal planning and working out.
Post competition is often the most difficult stage every competitor goes through. Binge eating disorder is common for competitors post comp. you've deprived your body from "bad" foods for so long, you'll get anxiety and eat everything "bad" in sight.
I suggest not labeling food. Think food for "fuel" not good or bad. You want to fuel your body with the proper nutrients so it can perform at its best.

I eat balanced healthy meals every 2-3hours. Keep your protein high and up your fat intake about 5%.
I also eat 2,200cal per day. My stats are 24yr old, 117lbs at 5'4. Right now my BF is about 8-10%.
I'm also trying to gain healthy weight back.
Allow yourself two cheat "meals" each week. Don't go overboard and stuff your face. That'll only make you feel guilty and want to purge.
Stay focused on your goals and you'll get there with the right structure.

faithyang

Shelbie1022 wrote: »

Sounds a little like what I'm currently going through. I compete in figure bodybuilding competions and have created an obsession with meal planning and working out.
Post competition is often the most difficult stage every competitor goes through. Binge eating disorder is common for competitors post comp. you've deprived your body from "bad" foods for so long, you'll get anxiety and eat everything "bad" in sight.
I suggest not labeling food. Think food for "fuel" not good or bad. You want to fuel your body with the proper nutrients so it can perform at its best.

I eat balanced healthy meals every 2-3hours. Keep your protein high and up your fat intake about 5%.
I also eat 2,200cal per day. My stats are 24yr old, 117lbs at 5'4. Right now my BF is about 8-10%.
I'm also trying to gain healthy weight back.
Allow yourself two cheat "meals" each week. Don't go overboard and stuff your face. That'll only make you feel guilty and want to purge.
Stay focused on your goals and you'll get there with the right structure.

Hi, @Shelbie1022, thanks so much for your suggestions!

Wow, body building! I can see why it would be easy to get into the obsession for body building since it requires a very consistent structure and steely discipline pre-comp and then having to 'switch' back into 'normal' eating habits after all that prep...I've found (not from a body building pov of course) once you turn it into a lifestyle it isn't like a switch you can flick on and off at will! It takes time, effort and also I guess having to consciously 'watch' yourself from turning a lifestyle / habit into an obsession!

Yes I do get that anxiety to the point its become part of an internal narrative that switches to a dialogue sometimes! An example was just yesterday I ran out of non-fat milk and went out to get milk. The supermarket only had 'lite milk' (2% fat I think? 118 cal per 250ml) and full cream. I thought what's the point of getting lite if the full cream is just like 10 cal extra and my drinks will taste better? I ended up standing there for 1/2 hour conflicted over whether to give up buying milk or buying the full cream one.

I actually took public transport halfway back home, got off, and went back to the supermarket again thinking I should return it and come back another day. It was so ridiculous and stupid I realised how idiotic and irrational I was being. I turned around, walked back to the stop and went straight home wondering how the hell did I turn into such a daft woman wasting over an hour over 2L of $2 milk in the freezing cold (its winter where I am now). Like REALLY - when I could be at home enjoying a warm night in. 88 cal vs 128 cal. Its not that terribly much and I don't even drink an entire 250ml portion a day, more like around 128ml. Plus the fats in the milk can be good for me in vitamin absorption!

Thanks for your suggestion on eating more often, and less. I think it will really help because I currently eat 2 meals a day and back before I had no problems OVEREATING during these times...now I simply struggle to add more cal because I simply have no appetite or am too full. But with multiple meals I think it would be much easier psychologically as well!