35-year old starting over and terrified.

CarrieCounts

Hi everyone. First off: I'm terrified. Completely and utterly afraid of food being taken from me as my last emotional support. I know it's unhealthy, and I know everyone feels the same way but I have no idea how to tune my brain to that. I don't like platitudes or "you can do it!'s" or quotes or whatever. I am that person that is a grade-A pain in the butt when it comes to this. I've tried. Many times, over and over. I've lost 50 pounds only to gain it back. Basically I am the antithesis of a healthy person and I know a billion reasons why I need to be healthier but it feels like a trap I will fall into only to fail.

Everyone says it's about willpower and about goals. They don't mean anything to me - I'm not accountable to myself and I have no idea how to make the pull of emotional eating and the control I feel like I have when I can eat whatever I want whenever I want weaker than the need to be healthier. I know I am unhealthy. i want to feel better, but I don't believe it is something that can happen for me.

I weigh 248lbs and am 5'4". I have not fit into anything smaller than a size 20 in years. My weight in high school at 160. I literally am just...sobbing thinking about trying again today. I want to; I'm just terrified.

So...anyone out there that has felt the way but doesn't respond well to platitudes or the usual motivational things?

I'm proud of all of you.

bizgirl26

friend request sent

dirtyflirty30

Would love to chat with you - feel free to message me if you'd like.

CarrieCounts

Thanks everyone. I will slowly open up as this is day one.

mbaker566

so you can do it. it's not a platitude but a fact.
food is food and truly does not care about you and cannot really give you comfort. food is neither good not bad. you have only decided that it's comforting you

you need a new relationship with food. break up with food.

check them out maybe

mrgandmescore4

I love your screen name. I have motivational issues too. A lot of mine come from depression and abuse and anxiety. I've neglected myself because I never felt worth anything to anyone. In truth, I still don't. I've been through so much in the last 17 years that it's become a comfort zone to believe I will fail at everything. I don't respond well to the normal "you can do its" either. Request is sent.

VeryKatie

I also think you can do it... maybe you just need to do it really slowly! Nothing wrong with losing 0.5 lb a week - it would go a long way to helping you feel like you're not taking food away. I totally understand you when you say quotes and platitudes and things don't help you. I'm the same way. In the end for me it ended up just being a matter of doing lots of research until I found myself curious about how things worked and the science behind it.

I started out on Weight Watchers - I didn't even care if I lost weight.. I only did it because I wanted to know what that specific program was like (curiosity - see?). Then it turned into "I wonder if I can do the same thing but on a free program" (because I'm a cheap person) which led me here, where I started learning.

You can't help what you find interesting or motivational. But you can hope you stumble across the right thing for you as you continue down this path. Just keep trying different things until you find something that doesn't stress you out. It doesn't have to stress you out.

thankyou4thevenom

I personally hated them until I just decided enough was enough, I needed to do something about my weight. They aren't my motivation but they do now at least don't make me roll my eyes as much.

Need2Exerc1se

CarrieCounts wrote: »

I know I am unhealthy. i want to feel better, but I don't believe it is something that can happen for me.

As long as you continue to think this way, you are probably correct. Taking control of your emotions, weight and health is not something that will happen to you. It's something you do, if you want to.

You must do this. You must decide to change. You must want it. It's all about what you want and what you do. Your life, your choices.

CSARdiver

Being a huge fan of Demotivational posters I get it. You're referring to the mental element of this; possibly the most important factor and one you have to overcome to get any results.

You are allowing the excuses to dominate, which is why people use such platitudes and positive reinforcers - simply because you can do this. You can do anything once you decide the result is more powerful than an excuse.

Instead of making large grandiose changes and overhauling your life, make small changes. Set a goal to lose 1lb/week using the MFP toolset and log consistently. Find a group of people here you connect with - many have been down the same path and can help out. The key is to log your activity, and be consistent.

Only you can prevent forest fires.

ModaVita

Hi Carrie! I'm new, also, and I get how you're feeling. Willpower is worthless, because it comes and goes. Really, what's needed is a decision and commitment to make a lifestyle change. We all deserve it, but honestly, it's not easy. If it were, everyone would do it.

Looking forward to seeing you on the boards.

demoiselle2014

I want to send you encouragement, OP. The difficult thing about fitness and health is that maintaining it requires a lifestyle change, which can be scary and hard. I know I always wish that I could work hard to achieve my goal and then just . . . you know, go back to 'normal' and have everything stay the same!

If you are struggling to let go of food as an emotional support, perhaps it is worth doing some exploring to find something else to replace eating for the emotional component--some activity or hobby that doesn't have to bear the fraught emotional weight of weight loss and dieting. Perhaps taking a course on meditation and practicing it a bit every day might help? I have used that to help me with anxiety and depression, and it has been life changing (and not in a corny, I've-turned-spiritual kind of way, but in a "I'm better at coping with life" kind of way).

I am confident that you can do this.