Emotional Eating&FOOD ADDICT

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kshama2001

lemurcat12 wrote: »

betsyellens22 wrote: »

Ok so new question. How to overcome self-esteem issues? I just hit 170lbs at 5'5", and as a 20 year old woman in this society... ESPECIALLY during summer, its rough.

One reason people are telling you to get help is that we don't know how bad your issues with this are, and it's really hard to really be helpful over the internet. If you were my friend offline we could talk about it and I'd have a better sense of what your struggles are and it would be more possible to help, I think -- although even then some people would do better working with someone. I was really resistant to seeking help of that sort when I was your age (not saying you are), and I think I would have saved myself some grief if that had not been the case.

That said, you've gotten some good advice already. Not helpful, probably, but true is that for most people just getting older helps a ton--it's really common and probably normal to have confidence issues at your age. NOT focusing on others or comparing yourself to them is really important, IMO. Focusing on what you like about yourself can be helpful, as well as doing activities that are challenging to you but will feel like real accomplishments when you do them (which might be a longterm healthy weight loss and fitness plan, even--I have always found that regular exercising makes a big difference for me, as I stop focusing on the way my body looks and instead on what it can do). Try to tell yourself positive things--talk to yourself as you would a friend, not the much more critical and unforgiving way you likely do (just assuming based on what I used to do).

Remember you aren't supposed to be perfect.

You said you assume that there are things about everyone that they don't like. In the sense of "I'd like to improve this part of me (physical or not)" or "yeah, I like my legs, but my middle will probably never be my best feature" I think that's true, but what's a bigger problem is if you are feeling real hatred for parts of yourself or yourself in general because of perceived flaws or imperfections, as then you make it impossible to really love and accept yourself. There are qualities I have that I am not proud of and I'm working on them, but they don't make me dislike myself (and they did years ago, along with many other things about me). This is huge, as I'm so much happier as a result.

This reminds me that I hated my big feet (women's 11) in Jr High/High School, but once I started balancing poses in yoga, started to appreciate the stability they give me.

atypicalsmith

mscheftg wrote: »

atypicalsmith wrote: »

mscheftg wrote: »

@betsyellens22 Oh I wish I was 20 and 170 pounds... 170 is my current goal weight and I might just be happy there (albeit still obese) but I know that one day I will find myself happy with a weight and the way my body looks, even if it is rounder than other women.

I love food. I love eating. I like fruits, veggies, meat, dairy (when it doesn't kill my digestive system), fast food, chocolate, sweets, etc. I can binge on a salad and I can binge on burgers & fries. My overeating is sometimes linked to my emotions and sometimes linked to the "dang this is good and I want to eat it all right now."

I have low self-esteem because I allowed people to knock me down when I was younger. Some kids teased me in elementary school and middle school. By high school I was mostly ignored, but sometimes made the object of ridicule. Some of the teasing may have been my weight, some was my personality and religious beliefs, some was because I was smarter than them and it made them feel inadequate. No matter why people were pushing me down, I never stopped and thought to myself "why am I allowing this?!" I just kept taking it.

Here I am, 31 years old and just starting to get a grip on not giving a damn what other people think about me. I buy clothes that I am comfortable in, even if others might think I look fat.

If you don't like how you look, then change it. Tell yourself to put down the food and move. If you think there are some deeper issues going on, then please seek help.

So do others think you look fat or are you fat? The only way you can combat that, if indeed you want to, is buy eating less and moving more. MFP gives you all the tools you need.

@atypicalsmith I'm not sure if you were directing that at me or just quoting me...

But to respond to you, while My Fitness Pal has the tools to log everything, it's not a system in and of itself. I've been to this rodeo a time or two and it's always the same. The tools are only as good as the willpower to do something about it... I could sit here every day and log foods and exercises and make it appear that I'm succeeding at using this website because it says I stayed within my calories and did my exercise. I can input numbers that indicate that I'm losing weight. But I can fudge all of that. My Fitness Pal does not supply motivation, so you are wrong - it's not all the tools I need. Have a nice day.

Nothing can replace will power, and if you have none, then yes, you are correct. MFP cannot help you.