Time to choose maintenance or "cop out"?
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rosebette
Posts: 1,659 Member
After being between 120 and 122 for about a year (I managed 118 for only a couple of weeks), I've made the decision that I should focus on maintaining my weight rather than losing and striving for an illusory "goal." I'm 5'1.5", and I had hoped to get to 115 or below, but I have realized that because of my age (56) and size, if I really want that goal, I have to seriously deprive myself. I eat around 1200 or below most days, but I do have days where I go out to dinner with my husband or friends and don't log. If I were to give up those days, or just eat salad at the restaurant, I could probably make my goal. I don't eat like a pig at restaurants (I usually take stuff home), but we all know that with eating out, there is less control of what's in the meal. On the other hand, I feel like I don't want to give up something in my life that is enjoyable for something that is illusory and in some ways, just vanity-based. I don't think I'm going to see huge health benefits from losing another 5 lbs. I walk about 2 miles a day and do kickboxing or zumba twice a week. I had been doing strength training but due to a shoulder injury had to back off on a lot of upper body work for about 6 months. Now I'm just doing yoga for strength and just gradually getting back into light weights and bands. I've been wearing a FitBit HR, and I have to admit even the heavier workouts don't exactly burn a ton of calories (at least not enough to give me 1800-2000 a day like some folks get on this site). Anyway, I've decided to let go of the goal, and decide my new goal is to stay the same weight I am now and maintain a decent level of fitness. I'm planning on sticking below 1200 on most days, and on the "off" days such as "date night" or holiday, just eating intuitively. Is this copping out or giving up, or is it making a choice for an acceptable objective? Has anyone else made a choice like this?
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Replies
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No, it's not copping out or giving up. It's readjusting your expectations based on information and experience.0
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It's all about balance. You have realized that 115 doesn't give you any extra benefit other than some type of mental bragging rights that don't really matter that much. Great job maintaining 120-122 for a year.0
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That's a great question because I've been struggling with something similar. I'm 5'2 and when I started MFP I set small goals for myself (lose 10 lbs, lose 20 lbs) and thought that my ultimate goal weight was 125. When I got to 125, and then kept on going right down to 123, I thought, ok, this is fine, I need a buffer, which was good because I was being very casual about my approach, not weighing my food, taking vacations, having a lot of days in the red, etc. So I never really adjusted my calorie goal upwards, I just wasn't strict with staying under it. Over the winter holidays things creeped back up above 128 so I tightened things up, and got down to 121 in early March. I thought, "hey, only 1 more pound and then I will have lost an even 30 lbs since starting MFP, maybe 120 is my new goal weight/maintenance midpoint". Well, here we almost four months later and I haven't gone below that point again (up and down but never below 121). I am one freaking pound away, yet I just haven't been motivated enough to cut more calories to lose that weight for some arbitrarily number, when I'm happily, and fairly easily, maintaining at 123 +/- 2 lbs.
TL/DR - I don't think it is copping out or giving up. Part of being healthy is about a healthy mindset toward this process and realizing that you are happy at a different (albeit still healthy) weight than you originally planned on is ok too.
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I actually just did the same thing. I thought I could lose another 8 lbs, but it just isn't going to happen, not without my body freaking out. Plus I also don't want to give up eating out. I really don't think it's a cop out or giving up. I think its that you've found a balance between your health lifestyle and your social lifestyle.0
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I'm 8-10 pounds from my goal and set myself at maintenance yesterday. I've become almost insatiably hungry frequently, I had a "binge" night over the weekend, and I realized that it's easier to allow myself the extra calories. If I eat all the way up to my maintenance calories that's fine. If I eat below that at the caloric goal for loss, that's okay too. Knowing I have the calories there if I need or want them helps me from a mental stand point (then I don't feel like a total a-hole because I ate 1,800 calories because My stomach was trying to eat itself).0
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I'm 5'1.5" and I'm looking for 125.
Why did you pick 115? I toyed with 117, as "mid-point BMI" but decided that wasn't a compelling reason for dropping my weight that far.
I have a medium bone structure, and am looking for 125 with room to go back up with body recomp.
Reassessing your goal isn't copping out. It's a matter of finding balance and what works for you, with whatever informed input you take from your doctor, your family and your friends.0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »No, it's not copping out or giving up. It's readjusting your expectations based on information and experience.
and IMO, people get far too obsessed with some arbitrary number, whether that number is actually appropriate or not.
I initially set out to be around 165 - 170 from 220 starting...once I started dropping weight, I realized that goal was untenable unless I wanted to burn a lot of muscle...and even then, it would leave me unsustainably lean (around 8% or lower). It would have been pretty stupid of me not to adjust my goals accordingly.0 -
WinoGelato wrote: »That's a great question because I've been struggling with something similar. I'm 5'2 and when I started MFP I set small goals for myself (lose 10 lbs, lose 20 lbs) and thought that my ultimate goal weight was 125. When I got to 125, and then kept on going right down to 123, I thought, ok, this is fine, I need a buffer, which was good because I was being very casual about my approach, not weighing my food, taking vacations, having a lot of days in the red, etc. So I never really adjusted my calorie goal upwards, I just wasn't strict with staying under it. Over the winter holidays things creeped back up above 128 so I tightened things up, and got down to 121 in early March. I thought, "hey, only 1 more pound and then I will have lost an even 30 lbs since starting MFP, maybe 120 is my new goal weight/maintenance midpoint". Well, here we almost four months later and I haven't gone below that point again (up and down but never below 121). I am one freaking pound away, yet I just haven't been motivated enough to cut more calories to lose that weight for some arbitrarily number, when I'm happily, and fairly easily, maintaining at 123 +/- 2 lbs.
TL/DR - I don't think it is copping out or giving up. Part of being healthy is about a healthy mindset toward this process and realizing that you are happy at a different (albeit still healthy) weight than you originally planned on is ok too.
Really informative and interesting answer.0 -
In addition, you could switch to maintenance and work on other fitness goals to keep you motivated. Your profile says you enjoy yoga and strength training, so maybe set goals with those and work on body recomposition and forget about the goal weight.
ETA: And you can give this a read for reference:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10177803/recomposition-maintaining-weight-while-losing-fat0 -
Your recommended healthy weight range for your stats is 99.5-134.5 lbs. The difference in health benefits from a 1% BMI difference when you are within your healthy range are negligible, compared to lifestyle benefits which you are already pursuing.
I would caution you to eat at least 1200 cals/day gross, which is considered the bare minimum for metabolic function, unless you have been advised by a medical professional that it is safe for you to be going lower.
If you feel good, and are happy and healthy where you are at, then your goal should be to stay where your at. An arbitrary number should not be the deciding factor. I recommend you put the scale in the closet, and only take it out once a month.
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EmmaFitzwilliam wrote: »I'm 5'1.5" and I'm looking for 125.
Why did you pick 115? I toyed with 117, as "mid-point BMI" but decided that wasn't a compelling reason for dropping my weight that far.
I have a medium bone structure, and am looking for 125 with room to go back up with body recomp.
Reassessing your goal isn't copping out. It's a matter of finding balance and what works for you, with whatever informed input you take from your doctor, your family and your friends.
I had originally chosen 114 as the goal because when I started MFP a year ago, I was 126 lbs. and had high cholesterol. The recommendation was to lose 10% of my body weight, so that would have been 12 lbs. Also, 115 or less was my weight when I was a young woman and fairly fit. The tracking helped because my cholesterol is within normal limits and I have excellent HDL due to activity level. I'm also a medium framed petite, as you can see from my picture -- big shoulder and a 6" wrist size, which is more of a medium bone structure. I know a lot of gals my size are aiming for around 100-105 lbs., which for me would be anorexic.
For the recommendation on recomp. I had thought about that about 8-10 months ago, before the shoulder got really bad. With the injury, I couldn't really workout to capacity. I'm just gradually getting back. My idea of maintenance is a bit different from others. I'll be eating at a modest deficit -- 1200 or less most days -- and then allowing myself a non-tracking day once or twice a week. So probably the non-tracking ("cheat") day will be the days when I'll be eating the balance of calories that would get me in maintenance. It's sort of what I've been doing already and it's worked -- I haven't gained any weight. I guess if I gave up those days, I could reach my goal -- I just don't think it's worth it to be the "perfect" wieght.0 -
EmmaFitzwilliam wrote: »I'm 5'1.5" and I'm looking for 125.
Why did you pick 115? I toyed with 117, as "mid-point BMI" but decided that wasn't a compelling reason for dropping my weight that far.
I have a medium bone structure, and am looking for 125 with room to go back up with body recomp.
Reassessing your goal isn't copping out. It's a matter of finding balance and what works for you, with whatever informed input you take from your doctor, your family and your friends.
I had originally chosen 114 as the goal because when I started MFP a year ago, I was 126 lbs. and had high cholesterol. The recommendation was to lose 10% of my body weight, so that would have been 12 lbs. Also, 115 or less was my weight when I was a young woman and fairly fit. The tracking helped because my cholesterol is within normal limits and I have excellent HDL due to activity level. I'm also a medium framed petite, as you can see from my picture -- big shoulder and a 6" wrist size, which is more of a medium bone structure. I know a lot of gals my size are aiming for around 100-105 lbs., which for me would be anorexic.
For the recommendation on recomp. I had thought about that about 8-10 months ago, before the shoulder got really bad. With the injury, I couldn't really workout to capacity. I'm just gradually getting back. My idea of maintenance is a bit different from others. I'll be eating at a modest deficit -- 1200 or less most days -- and then allowing myself a non-tracking day once or twice a week. So probably the non-tracking ("cheat") day will be the days when I'll be eating the balance of calories that would get me in maintenance. It's sort of what I've been doing already and it's worked -- I haven't gained any weight. I guess if I gave up those days, I could reach my goal -- I just don't think it's worth it to be the "perfect" wieght.
I personally wouldn't either. You need to do what is sustainable for you, and that includes mental health. Sounds like you really enjoy the occasional/weekly splurge as part of your standard routine. Nothing wrong with that, and no reason to make yourself miserable to hit your original goal. Especially since your cholesterol problem seems to have cleared up without hitting it.0 -
OP
I was for months on 1200 had to lose my weight for medical reasons and i did.
My wish/dream/desire was to get to 144 pound
So besides the fact i had to lose weight i started also to have a goal.
Now 8 months later and 96 pounds lighter i feel so damm good.
I have let go the dream. I get slowed upped in calories as my weight goes down ( so i do it reversed) till my journey ends at my maintenance level.
I started with losing 2 to 5 pounds a week ( yes crazy i know but had water was bloated) When i reach Onederland i went to 1300 calories a day. And now at 163 pound i am around 1400.
and i expect to go up again a 100 when i get to 155 pounds..but i wait and see. This is not dont by MFP btw i do a supervised program..but that is beside what i want to tell you.
Now i am in a state of a changed attitude about my weight loss. From having to lose weight i am now at ...meh lost a pound great another one. But i am not worried or impatient to lose it. Never was really but the desire to be 144 pound was all that time there and now its gone.
I am feeling great, younger and doing good. My lab stats are excellent. And i am relaxed about it.
Some days i eat indeed like you said above the 1400 and near maintenance..just because i want to. Because i went out or cooked something special.
To be fair i think and realize now i ended my weight loss journey in a way.
I still will lose weight because i keep doing what i am doing but slower. When i am at 150 pound which is still hard to imagine for me, i wonder how i will feel about it. And if it is such a magic to get to the 144 pound like i wanted before.
So in a way there is acceptation going on in my head. How i am now, getting use to the leaner and fitter person i became again.
And my goal weight is not important anymore. But the way i feel is.
So yes 1400 for now still probably it get upped slowly in coming months. But that is just my program i follow and i am very relaxed about it.
So yes i understand what your saying ( i have a hard time in English to explain to you what i exactly feel about it
).
But i hope i explained how it worked and still works for me.
I have let it go... I am happy and indeed do the same I just watch what i eat and keep counting so i dont gain weight ever again. That is the only important rule i will stick to.
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What you said, OwlHouse, was quite insightful -- difficult English and all.-1
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I don't think it's copping out at all. One of the biggest components of weight loss is mind set--and you've come to the realization that you're happy enough where you are right now and possibly not willing to compromise the things that it would take to get to your ultimate goal weight. And that's perfectly fine. I would suggest to just keep on doing what you're doing (I find that if I don't log in/track I get lazy/entitled and my weight starts creeping up) and who knows? Maybe in 3 months, 6 months, 9 months your mind set will change and you'll get back on the weight loss track. Or maybe never. But as long as you're happy, it's all good.0
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I'm in the same boat as you OP. Wanted to reach 130, and I've been stuck at 133 for a year. I'm 5'5". I was 1.5 pound away last year and went on vacations and since I've just hungrier (PMS has become completely awful) and can't seem to be able to keep the required deficit to lose those last few pounds... and my willpower isn't what it used to be either.
So I'm slowly moving to acceptance (although I'm also terrified because I'm going in vacations next week and I'm afraid I'm going to gain a few pounds that are going to be just as hard to lose). Recomposition has crossed my mind but let's face it, a year later and I still hate lifting as much as I did a year ago (although I have lost a few inches since). So it's probably not going to happen, as it's not something I can imagine doing forever, considering that it's a real chore to me. I'm just happy improving my stamina on the treadmill or doing Body Combat a few times a week (although it's on hold with Summer break).
And I do the same, eating at a bigger deficit most days and a bit over maintenance a day or two a week. Not really on purpose, but that's how it's worked out lately... I always get hungrier one day, or we go out to eat etc. Some weeks I keep a 1000ish calorie deficit, some weeks I'm 500 over.
I'm telling myself that I'm not that young anymore (I'm 37), so I can't expect to look like a 24yo anyway, so maybe I should just go with 'good enough' and keep doing what I've been doing... who knows, maybe some weeks I'll actually not be so hungry and will be able to lose a couple pounds...0 -
I don't think I'm going to see huge health benefits from losing another 5 lbs.
That says it all. Why make things harder for yourself for something that's not going to make any major positive difference to your life?0 -
Congratulations! You've done great and sounds like your body is happy. I think maintenance is a great plan.
I'm also 56. And just as a word of encouragement . . . I've been at this weight for 3 years and have lost 4" on my waist and 3 on my hips since I've maintained (I'm 5'10"). I just walk every day and do easy yoga once a week. But the big difference has been sitting on a Pilates ball at work to strengthen my core and posture. Easy peasy.0 -
I also saw a reduction in waist and hip size, even though I had plateau'd. I'm still fairly good there, but now have upper arm fat due to not being able to strength train. Unlike Franc127, I really enjoy lifting, and find cardio, unless it's a walk outside or a structured class like kickboxing or zuma, quite boring. By the way, Fran, 133 at 5'5" is a very good weight, well within a healthy BMI. Vacations are an issue for me, too. I usually gain then, and joined MFP after a particularly fattening one last year. I usually try to get on track as soon as I get home.0
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Rosebette, congratulations!
After following you for months I know you are in a good place fitness wise, despite the shoulder holding back your upper body strength training, and your weight looks good on your body size.
The extra 5 lb would have made little or no difference, and, as I keep reading a little extra fat is good as we age.
When I am counting my calories I tend to work on a weekly goal rather than a daily goal, that gives me room to have low 1200 days when I am book worming it, and 1800 days when there is a party happening.
Again, congratulations, you have made the right session for you.
Cheers, h.0
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