Warped body image?

dizzzigrl

Does anyone here struggle with body image after losing weight? I recently went from a bigger 12 to an 8, and when I look in the mirror, I still see that bigger girl! I will go to put clothes on and look at my jeans or shorts and think "there's no way these are going to fit" but they do. I am not an attention seeker, but I always have to ask my sister "are you sure this looks ok?" or "are you sure it's a good picture of me"? I am sure it drives her crazy! I would appreciate some advice from anyone else who has gone through this!

futurecatlady

I struggled with body image even when I was a size 2 in college. Gaining weight made the body image issue much worse for me... So far the process of losing it back off hasn't helped lessen it for me, it's just remained pretty stable at "negative".

I don't know that I have advice, but it's something that effects a lot of people-- even void of weight loss or gain-- so you are certainly not alone!

I try to focus less on what I see in the mirror and the size of my clothes, and more on how I feel about myself. The brain is a fabulous organ, but it can be deceptive.

You've definitely made some great accomplishments!

iLoveMyPitbull1225

Warped body image is the title to the story of my life. Unfortunately I never feel good about myself. I went from size 10 or 12 to a 2 or 4 and still feel disgusted with myself every day. I know that what I see is not realistic but I don't know how to change it.

jkal1979

It sounds like your brain hasn't caught up with your weight loss yet. Maybe putting some before and current pictures side by side will give you some perspective on how much progress you have made.

LVNF04

Some people will tell me I look good in certain clothes but if I don't feel it I won't wear it. I can take a really long time to get ready, sometimes 30 to 40 minutes of trying stuff on to project a particular image that is unique and to my standards. Btw, not gay, maybe just a little ocd. Lol

chatterbox3110

Yep, guilty as charged..... I've dropped from a 34 into an 18ish, ten stones weight loss so far, yet I still head for the back of the rail in stores for the largest sizes. My brain doesn't want to accept what my eyes can see and it can be soooo frustrating, but I suppose in time it will come to accept the new me.

As jkal1979 said above , try putting photos side by side, that's what I've done recently (see profile picture) and I was shocked!

Urban_Princess

omg i'm in the same boat. went from an 18 to a 6 and i feel stocky all the time. I have to compare myself to everyone to have an idea of what I really look like now. it is terrible especially went I want to try on new clothes.

mbaker566

it's not unusual. but if it's an issue that is lingering a therapist or support group might help you with the dysmorphia

if it's all still sorta new, you are just getting the hang of the new you. you are a whole new shape. not knowing how long you were your old shape, I would say it takes time to get used to the change.
congrats on the new you

ManiacalLaugh

Yep. Weight loss is largely in the head. For many of us, it's not just a matter of getting the numbers down on the scale; it's about getting our mindset right.

I've been losing for three years now (I'm a bit of a turtle-paced loser and I've had a hiccup or two). I'm still coming to terms with being smaller than I was. In fact, I had to buy a pair of uniform-like pants online for work for an event and I didn't have time to order a pair that wasn't going to fit. Because of the panic of needing to do this quickly, I ordered a size up from what I normally wear thinking "it'll be easier; these will fit for sure."

Nope. They were huge. I felt like I was wearing a potato sack around my waist the entire time. If I'd just had a little more confidence in myself, I could've ordered them correctly. It's a constant battle.

peleroja

I'm hesitant to chime in because of my size, but here we go. I wear a 0/XS now, and I have for a couple years (used to be a 6-8/M most of the time) which I understand is objectively small and that I've never been "big" or even technically overweight...but I definitely don't feel smaller. More than that, I feel like I look a lot bigger than other people who wear the same size, which is probably not actually possible...but still. When I see people wearing the same thing as me I always, always wonder why I look so much bigger than they do.

katieshaheen66

iLoveMyPitbull1225 wrote: »

Warped body image is the title to the story of my life. Unfortunately I never feel good about myself. I went from size 10 or 12 to a 2 or 4 and still feel disgusted with myself every day. I know that what I see is not realistic but I don't know how to change it.

Same with me. I went from a size 8 to a 2 and still feel overweight. My bigger struggle is comments from others - before I would get subtle comments about being overweight, and now I am getting comments saying that I am too thin, and family members start bringing me plates of food at functions.

I know I have come a long way, and need to be proud of that. Losing 40 pounds is a big deal and a huge accomplishment!

dizzzigrl

peleroja wrote: »

I'm hesitant to chime in because of my size, but here we go. I wear a 0/XS now, and I have for a couple years (used to be a 6-8/M most of the time) which I understand is objectively small and that I've never been "big" or even technically overweight...but I definitely don't feel smaller. More than that, I feel like I look a lot bigger than other people who wear the same size, which is probably not actually possible...but still. When I see people wearing the same thing as me I always, always wonder why I look so much bigger than they do.

So true!!! I was at a concert the other night and a girl was wearing a similar outfit to what I had on (I was wearing a romper type thing that was shorts and a strapless top - my friend talked me into wearing it even though I was uncomfortable lol) she was quite a bit bigger than I am but I couldn't help but to think that was exactly how I looked in my outfit. Don't get me wrong, I admire her self confidence for wearing it, but it did not flatter her - and she was probably slightly larger than my old size. My sister had weight loss surgery so she understands what I am going through but probably wanted to kill me when I asked her if that was how I looked, and then kept my jacket on for the rest of the night.

azulvioleta6

That's pretty normal. You've not lost a huge amount of weight. Imagine dropping from a 22 to a 10.

It still weirds me out to notice people wearing clothes that I also own and to realize that I am not in the biggest possible size anymore.

dubird

For me it was the opposite. I was a much lower weight in college and didn't start gaining weight until I stopped working at a restaurant and went full time at a desk job. Even at my heaviest, my mental image was college weight, so it was always a horrible shock when I looked in the mirror. Now, I'm much closer to what my mental image is and I feel better. Only advice I have is to give your brain time to reformulate what your mental image is. It'll take a while, but it'll happen. Maybe have current pictures of you and your friends/SO around where you work as a reminder that this is what you look like NOW. That might help reset your brain's image of you.

lacroyx

I have. Honestly it's mostly held me back when it comes to dating. I just didn't bother. I felt I was too big to be attractive to date. It is better now. Time is a big factor. It will take time for your brain to catch up.

Gska17

Definitely. I went from a 12 to a 4/6 and I really can't see it sometimes. Photos help!

laurajo521

This is to any of you who are not comfortable in your own skin or feel like you're not seeing your true self in the mirror, or really anyone on such a major weight loss journey: If you can, at least go to a therapist once or twice. Believe me, you can lose all the weight in the world but if you are not in the right place mentally or haven't dealt with what made you overweight in the first place, it's not going to work long-term. The best thing I ever did for myself was to invest in therapy and deal with the underlying emotional issues surrounding my body image and obesity.

Angierae75

I had a breast reduction five years ago and I still look at shirts and go "this isn't going to fit" and then it fits or it's too big. It takes time.

Liftng4Lis

Patience is key here. Look at the before photos.

rory0516

I've gone from a size 8 to drowning in 00 jeans... I look in the mirror and I honestly see very little difference. It's like I know I have lost weight and I know I'm somewhat thinner but I don't see myself 50 lbs lighter and yet the rest of the world seems to.
I just wish I could see what they see...

MorganMoreaux

peleroja wrote: »

I'm hesitant to chime in because of my size, but here we go. I wear a 0/XS now, and I have for a couple years (used to be a 6-8/M most of the time) which I understand is objectively small and that I've never been "big" or even technically overweight...but I definitely don't feel smaller. More than that, I feel like I look a lot bigger than other people who wear the same size, which is probably not actually possible...but still. When I see people wearing the same thing as me I always, always wonder why I look so much bigger than they do.

Girl I'm in the same boat. My largest was 6/8 and now I'm a 0/2 and feel large. I tried on a form fitting dress the other day and was shocked how large my hips looked to me (everyone else thought I looked great). I have literally no fat on my hips and I know that I am by no means large or overweight, but I still feel big. I have always felt this way, even as a young girl (4 or 5). I have learned to acknowledge the feeling and tell myself it's in my head and move on.

snowflakesav

I can relate to this. I always feel like I am built to pull a plow. I wear a size 2. It helps to see photos of myself.

smotheredincheese

A few of years ago I lost weight and went down a couple of clothes sizes fairly quickly. It took me a long time to actually see the difference in myself, and for maybe a year after losing the weight I would still pick up clothes in my old size and be surprised when I tried them on that they were too big. When I looked at clothes in my true size I was convinced that there was no way they would fit, they were so tiny!
When you look in the mirror and see something different to what you've been seeing for years, it can be hard to take in, but you will get used to it in time.

LC932017

Body dysmorphia- it's real and it can also be dangerous. I think it can be helped but probably never completely goes away. I wish there was a cure to make us see who we really are unfortunately there is not just know you are not alone. There are several of us here who struggle with the person looking back at us. The key is to remind yourself though you are fit and healthy. I like @snowflakesav suggestion. Look at pics of yourself and see your new beautiful changed body. Lots of hugs for you

dizzzigrl

smotheredincheese wrote: »

A few of years ago I lost weight and went down a couple of clothes sizes fairly quickly. It took me a long time to actually see the difference in myself, and for maybe a year after losing the weight I would still pick up clothes in my old size and be surprised when I tried them on that they were too big. When I looked at clothes in my true size I was convinced that there was no way they would fit, they were so tiny!
When you look in the mirror and see something different to what you've been seeing for years, it can be hard to take in, but you will get used to it in time.

exactly! I pick up my jeans and think - "no way these will fit" I have a little panicky moment, and then of course they fit. It's the strangest thing!

BoxerBrawler

Yup, and it's crazy isn't it? I have always been confident and outgoing and still am but "In my head" I feel fat, even though I am in a size 0 to 1/2 from a 14/16. It's ridiculous. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror at the gym and think "omg I am sooo skinny", other times I look in the mirror and think "What a fatty!" And yes, the pants thing. I pick up a pair of my jeans or shorts and think "Ya right, there's no way I'm fitting this into that", and not only do they fit but they are sometimes lose. It's all a mind game and yes your mind has to catch up with your weight loss.

blueriotgirl

I have body dysmorphia disorder as well. It is a daily struggle sometimes. I saw a therapist and was diagnosed. Basically i saw things that werent there i would pinch an inch and see like 5 inches i would stare at the cellulite and see huge rolls. It has taken years to get to the point where i am comfortable in how i look now but it still happens. My recent profile pic i took and was so happy in how i looked but everyday i see it i start to scrutinize every inch. When these negative thoughts arise i tell myself that i am not what i see that extra flab isn't there i am looking healthy. Ask yourself how do you feel? Are your clothes fitting better? Take baby steps in showing off the new you to ease into it. Talking to a therapist really helped she got me to think a lot more about how i am in the inside than the out. Its a long road and your mind is a great deceiver and instagator. Sometimes we are our own worse enemies. You will get through this. See if there is a support group for eating disorders cause this is one and if you let it get to you it can lead to some very unhealthy lifestyle choices. If you want to add me as a friend you can and message me if you are ever getting in your own head to sabotage all your hard work. Good luck to you.

Loddieconnor975

So inspiring

PinkPixiexox

Trust me, you aren't alone in this way of thinking. Transforming physically is actually the easiest part of the process believe it or not! It takes a lot longer for the mind to catch up. I too am guilty of looking in the mirror and seeing the girl I 'used to be' staring back at me - but logic soon chips in and tells me it isn't possible. You've worked so hard for this and therefore deserve to look in the mirror and think "Wow, I look absolutely fantastic" - because you do. You really do.

I'm not going to suggest that you seek therapy because I do believe this behaviour, whilst frustrating, is totally normal. You'll get a wake up call one day - be it in the form of a photograph taken of you unawares or catching yourself in that shop window and thinking "wow, who is that!". Once you get that wake up call, I hope you continue to believe in yourself and congratulate yourself on your incredible, hard work.

Body Dysmorphia is a real life condition that many people suffer with - but I'm not going to assume that's the case here because the majority of us know exactly what you are going through right now. I promise you'll be okay.

ashliedelgado

I'm going CRAZY with this. My 13 year old step daughter is over weight, as well. I started out at a size 24. We now can wear the same shirts - an XL fits me perfect, and a little loose on her. She wears a 15, I'm in a 17. She is wearing a M/6 in undies. I'm thinking it's time for me to buy a 7 because my 8s are starting to hang off of my tush. But in my head, I'm still a size 24. I still take up as much space as I did at 262lbs. Fortunately for kiddo, with how much weight I have lost, and the fact that we are starting to share clothes, is freaking her out a little bit and she is starting to get more active and cautious about what she puts in her face. Which, I'm glad its happening now instead of 15 years down the road.

callsitlikeiseeit

dizzzigrl wrote: »

Does anyone here struggle with body image after losing weight? I recently went from a bigger 12 to an 8, and when I look in the mirror, I still see that bigger girl! I will go to put clothes on and look at my jeans or shorts and think "there's no way these are going to fit" but they do. I am not an attention seeker, but I always have to ask my sister "are you sure this looks ok?" or "are you sure it's a good picture of me"? I am sure it drives her crazy! I would appreciate some advice from anyone else who has gone through this!

ive lost 70 pounds and gone from a pants 22 to 14 and a top 2x to 12.

i dont see it in the mirror. I've just had to come to terms with what i SEE is NOT the reality. I do see it in photos, and obviously in my clothes - just not in the mirror LOL