Rationalising my behaviour am I alone? How do I stop?

ashed456

Hiya, so started my journey 65 days ago and its very up and down which I know is because I have weeks where I am to the book and then weeks where I will have a feast. Every time I find myself having that extra roll I know that it is not helping and yet seem to rationalise my behaviour. I have lost 14lbs and have 17lbs to go. I don't think I have ever weighed the goal weight MFP has set and that makes me feel that it is unachievable. Sorry for the rant. Any comments would be appreciated.

yopeeps025

Well first didn't you set the goal weight on MFP. MFP doesn't just throw a number at you.

You lost 14 pounds in a little over 2 pounds which is 7 pounds per month when you were only 31 pounds away to start this. That is a pretty reasonable calorie deficit. Are you sure your feast days are from hunger or other means?

So what do you tell yourself when you feast?
Do you count calories?

DeguelloTex

When losing the weight is more important to you than the extra roll, then you'll stop.

Ninkyou

Not sure exactly what you're rationalizing.

Before MFP and understanding calories and being successful and all that, I used to "justify" eating certain things. For example, I'd go to the gym for an hour and then right after I'd go to Wendy's and order a Large Spicy Chicken Meal. I'd "justify" it by telling myself I had worked out and "earned" it. What I was ignorant to was that I was probably only burning like 200 calories at the gym and then eating and drinking 900-1000 calories afterwards. And the rest of my day wouldn't be much better. I'd justify that I had "been good" and "deserved" to have a cookie or something.

Reality is, it doesn't work that way. I'm not a dog, so I shouldn't reward myself. Especially for behaviors that are questionable at best.

When I joined MFP and had really hit rock bottom I took the time to learn from others here and read the stickies and basically just lurked the forums, gleaning whatever information I could. I quickly learned I could eat more than 1200 calories and still lose weight, I didn't have to restrict myself, I could eat whatever I wanted and fit it into my calories and to exercise for fitness. It was a serious lightbulb moment for me. So now, I don't reward myself or justify myself for being good or having worked out. I eat what I eat and I fit it into my day. End of story. I'm a much better person for it now.

snowflakesav

Sounds like you are on the path to figuring out a lifetime plan that you can live with. Evaluate what isn't working and learn where you can make changes. This isn't failure for you..this is progress. You will try things that don't work. That is ok. Learn to be gentler with yourself.

SezxyStef

YOu get to choose the goal weight...not MFP....so I am a bit confused. What is your current weight and goal weight?

As for rationalizing your behaviour you either want to lose weight bad enough to say not to the extra roll or you don't...it really is that simple.

Make the choice...losing weight is hard work, being overweight is hard...choose your hard.

Kalikel

I never once weighed what it said I'd weigh. That's a computer spitting out the number after doing math based on that day. Even if every day really WAS like that day, it's still theoretical. Don't fret over not meeting it.

I don't wig out if I go over because there are other days when I go under. I eat more when hungry and less when not. My hunger isn't the same every day, so why would my calories be? That's how I see it.

You're losing a lot. If you go slower, that's cool. Progress is progress!

Be patient. It takes time. And if you have an extra roll now and then, so what? You're still losing.

discretekim

Yeah I have a very balanced approach. Probably too many days where I go off but I'm averaging about a pound a week which is my goal. You are doing much more than that so it can't be too bad. Maybe try to make it a little more balanced though. What you are describing sounds a little extreme like diet and binge which definitely won't help with long term loss maintenance.

crazyjerseygirl

I choose my sisters weight, which I never weighed as an adult (might have to modify that, but that's another story)

Justification will stop when you face reality. Facing reality hurts which is why so many people choose to believe they have metabolism issues or thyroid issues or are big boned. It's hard to admit you've been making the wrong choices, and that you've been fooling yourself.


But you know you're fooling yourself, so that part is over. Now you just have to modify the behaviors. Stopping halfway through a roll is damn hard. Putting it back in the basket is a bit easier. Never reaching for it a bit easier than that. Soon you just don't think about that second roll.

Embrace reality, it's a wonderful place to be. Best of luck!

Kalikel

crazyjerseygirl wrote: »

I choose my sisters weight, which I never weighed as an adult (might have to modify that, but that's another story)

Justification will stop when you face reality. Facing reality hurts which is why so many people choose to believe they have metabolism issues or thyroid issues or are big boned. It's hard to admit you've been making the wrong choices, and that you've been fooling yourself.


But you know you're fooling yourself, so that part is over. Now you just have to modify the behaviors. Stopping halfway through a roll is damn hard. Putting it back in the basket is a bit easier. Never reaching for it a bit easier than that. Soon you just don't think about that second roll.

Embrace reality, it's a wonderful place to be. Best of luck!

Some people do have thyroid and/or metabolism issues. Some people also have bigger frames than others.

jemhh

You've lost 14 pounds in 9 weeks. You're doing great.

Is the goal weight you're talking about the 5 week prediction? If so, just completely ignore it. There are way too many variables (water fluctuation due to hormones, workouts, etc.) for 95% of people to actually meet those predictions. I'm not sure why MFP chose to spend time programming that into the app when it could have spent time making useful corrections/features.

crazyjerseygirl

Kalikel wrote: »

crazyjerseygirl wrote: »

I choose my sisters weight, which I never weighed as an adult (might have to modify that, but that's another story)

Justification will stop when you face reality. Facing reality hurts which is why so many people choose to believe they have metabolism issues or thyroid issues or are big boned. It's hard to admit you've been making the wrong choices, and that you've been fooling yourself.


But you know you're fooling yourself, so that part is over. Now you just have to modify the behaviors. Stopping halfway through a roll is damn hard. Putting it back in the basket is a bit easier. Never reaching for it a bit easier than that. Soon you just don't think about that second roll.

Embrace reality, it's a wonderful place to be. Best of luck!

Some people do have thyroid and/or metabolism issues. Some people also have bigger frames than others.

And Where did I claim they didn't?

ashed456

Thanks so much for all the comments! You have really made the upcoming week great. I think the main thing for me is that I have never been able to stick to something and MFP is actually working. I have luckily started getting it into my mind that even if I loose 0.1 it's still loosing. The extra roll scenario I think is me being scared that I can downward spiral again. Like everyone has said it's a slow lifestyle change and I know one that I am ready to make. Thanks again!

SergeantSausage

Kalikel wrote: »

crazyjerseygirl wrote: »

I choose my sisters weight, which I never weighed as an adult (might have to modify that, but that's another story)

Justification will stop when you face reality. Facing reality hurts which is why so many people choose to believe they have metabolism issues or thyroid issues or are big boned. It's hard to admit you've been making the wrong choices, and that you've been fooling yourself.


But you know you're fooling yourself, so that part is over. Now you just have to modify the behaviors. Stopping halfway through a roll is damn hard. Putting it back in the basket is a bit easier. Never reaching for it a bit easier than that. Soon you just don't think about that second roll.

Embrace reality, it's a wonderful place to be. Best of luck!

Some people do have thyroid and/or metabolism issues. Some people also have bigger frames than others.

Nope. Not at all in the way that most of 'em claim to.

It's just another in a loooong (lifetime) line of bogus excuses.

I lost 54 pounds of Big Bones, right?

daniwilford

I have teenagers in the house, one of them is a growing boy, they can eat junk and not gain weight, I can't. They can have junk in the house, it just can't be out on the counter, or I mindlessly eat. Before I even realize what I am doing it is in my mouth. With problem foods, I measure out what I intend to eat and then put the remaining away out of sight before I even begin to eat. I am usually full enough after eating my portion that I am not tempted by extras out of sight.