When people give you advice while lifting
sistrsprkl
Posts: 1,010 Member
While doing by SL 5x5 today at the gym, an older gentleman came up to me and said, "I've been noticing what lifts you're doing and you really should be using a belt for those, you're young and you don't want to injure your back." I really tried to be gracious and thanked him for his concern and told him I had done some research. Left it at that. I'm in the early weeks of SL and the weights are still light, I know I don't need a belt, I need to increase my core & back strength on their own. Do others often get "feeback" at their gyms? It's kinda annoying. What do you say?
Eta --- I bet he wouldn't have said anything if I was a dude but I guess that's besides the point...
Eta --- I bet he wouldn't have said anything if I was a dude but I guess that's besides the point...
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He probably just wanted a reason to talk to you!0
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No one talks to me at the public gym. But i sure have a thing of two to say to many of the people in there lifting, ouch they make my eyes water. But.... i keep to myself and don't say anything to anyone.
I'm sure he had the best intentions... or he was just hitting on you :P0 -
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I do SL 5x5 like you, there's an old guy at our gym who is pretty big for his size, but he always gives out advice. He's gained the title 'Papa broceps'. He gave me advice on bench press saying exactly where the bar should touch my chest (it was a bad rep) and he said "come off and let me show you" - lizard brain just said "lolnope".
Funny thing is, the guy couldn't squat properly without leaning forwards.
I just say "thanks". I had headphones in too, which is usually an indicator that I don't want to talk unless I actually know you... but nah... he's a bit of an odd guy.0 -
He wasn't hitting on me, he was like in his 70's. I'll keep working on my strength and form so people won't have anything to say
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I've had a couple of people come up to me and give me advice. I am polite and will listen, but in the end, I'll do whatever I feel like is best for me. I actually only listened once to someone advice. She was a trainer, and she was also in awesome shape (and figure competitor)... and her advice did make sense I know my stuff, but sometimes I guess my form could be off, although I pay close attention to it! It's always possible
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I haven't had that,well once, I was doing rumanian deadlift and guy be like "bend those knees" and I was like, "No,it's rumanian" haha
But most of the time no one tells me stuff,only my coach, and I agree we must have strong backs and core,when I did my first squat at 60kgs I did use a belt,cos coach told me to,now I don't feel like it so I don't and I'm fine.0 -
A man stopped me before I went to reverse barbell lunge last week, he looked my legs up and down and said "You want to slim your legs down right? You should cycle and do less of this stuff...You'll get your legs nice and toned". Not only did it piss me off, it made me self-conscious and ruined my workout.
I just told him that I "highly disagree" and like lifting. I also told him I've done my research and just tried to shut him down.0 -
At my old public gym, never rely happened. Got a couple open mouthed stares occasionally, but never approached.
At my current gym, I get form feedback all the time. But then again, it's coming from my coaches and I kinda pay them for it.0 -
sistrsprkl wrote: »While doing by SL 5x5 today at the gym, an older gentleman came up to me and said, "I've been noticing what lifts you're doing and you really should be using a belt for those, you're young and you don't want to injure your back." I really tried to be gracious and thanked him for his concern and told him I had done some research. Left it at that. I'm in the early weeks of SL and the weights are still light, I know I don't need a belt, I need to increase my core & back strength on their own. Do others often get "feeback" at their gyms? It's kinda annoying. What do you say?
Eta --- I bet he wouldn't have said anything if I was a dude but I guess that's besides the point...
OH - MY - GAWD.
Seriously, you have no idea how much I can identify. First off, this guy who was REALLY out of shape (besides the point, but wait for it!) was at the squat rack. So I politely asked him how many sets he had left - he replies with a grin saying "I dunno...why? Do you want to use this?" And I was like "As a matter of fact, yes I do!"
So then he asks me what was I doing - I said SL 5x5...he said "Oh wow...it's not very common to see people doing that around here!" He then tells me all about his fitness routine and how I should do this and that after SL. He then allowed me access to the squat rack - as I finished my first set I hear him saying behind me "You should lower yourself more. You're not going down enough so you're not really working your legs."
I got SO frustrated that I said in between my teeth "Listen, if I need help I'll make sure to ASK, ok?" I just HATE advice like that and it usually comes from people that probably don't really know WHAT they're doing. I also hate because then I feel like someone is "watching" me and it ruins the workout. Unsolicited advice? No. Just no.
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sistrsprkl wrote: »I'll keep working on my strength and form so people won't have anything to say
It's probably still going to happen if you're female. You can deter some guys by wearing large headphones and making yourself look scary ("beast mode" shirt, camo shorts, etc).. and of course, lifting more than they do.
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Omg I was going to post a similar thread a few days ago. Was doing squats, on my last set of 5 when this buff guy comes up to me, very loudly telling me I should go with lower weight or I would f$&@ up my back. I was pissed, given the last set is always the hardest when you're trying to push through it. Like you, I tried to be gracious and just said thanks for the advice, but it did piss me off. Not a fan of unsolicited advice.0
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Could you make them go away by asking them to spot you?
Just wondering.0 -
sistrsprkl wrote: »He wasn't hitting on me, he was like in his 70's. I'll keep working on my strength and form so people won't have anything to say
His in his 70s What's the big deal. He could ave been a pro in his prime.take his advise an LEARN FROM IT..love to see any of you guys train at his age..0 -
arditarose wrote: »A man stopped me before I went to reverse barbell lunge last week, he looked my legs up and down and said "You want to slim your legs down right? You should cycle and do less of this stuff...You'll get your legs nice and toned". Not only did it piss me off, it made me self-conscious and ruined my workout.
I just told him that I "highly disagree" and like lifting. I also told him I've done my research and just tried to shut him down.
God what an a**hole... that woulda ruined my workout too. Sorry you had to deal with that...0 -
As to it happening only to women, it has happened to me. At least once. (Durn it. But, that time the guy was right! I was working too heavy and my form was terrible.) So, I suspect it happens to everyone. I think we can just make sure we don't do it to others, and that we try to phrase it politely when we say "BUZZ OFF!"
I might just try saying: "We're all just trying to get better, aren't we?" And leave it at that.0 -
Only had someone offer advice once. It was over how to do wrist curls of all things. He came over to let me know that I didn't have to do it the way I was, that I could use the upright seated bench or one of the incline benches to rest my arm on instead of my leg. Which technically is true, that is a way to do it and I was aware already. I did my way because I stand all day and like to on occasion sit down. I basically said I knew and he got a little huffy with the whole "just trying to help" then went back to his preacher curls, or whatever that is called. I still can't even figure out how to hold the ez bar, so if someone offered on that, I'd take the advice. lol0
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Katzedernacht wrote: »I haven't had that,well once, I was doing rumanian deadlift and guy be like "bend those knees" and I was like, "No,it's rumanian" haha
But most of the time no one tells me stuff,only my coach, and I agree we must have strong backs and core,when I did my first squat at 60kgs I did use a belt,cos coach told me to,now I don't feel like it so I don't and I'm fine.
Romanian deadlifts involve bent knees, maybe you're thinking SLDLs?0 -
annette_15 wrote: »arditarose wrote: »A man stopped me before I went to reverse barbell lunge last week, he looked my legs up and down and said "You want to slim your legs down right? You should cycle and do less of this stuff...You'll get your legs nice and toned". Not only did it piss me off, it made me self-conscious and ruined my workout.
I just told him that I "highly disagree" and like lifting. I also told him I've done my research and just tried to shut him down.
God what an a**hole... that woulda ruined my workout too. Sorry you had to deal with that...
It bothered me more than it should have, honestly. I think it was more the way he kept looking me up and down and assumed I wanted my legs to be thinner (I do, but that's no one's business but mine).0 -
sometimes i wish people would give me advice. but only good advice. but even if they did i would probably get defensive first and then end up following it after i thought about it.
but only the good advice.0 -
Katzedernacht wrote: »I haven't had that,well once, I was doing rumanian deadlift and guy be like "bend those knees" and I was like, "No,it's rumanian" haha
But most of the time no one tells me stuff,only my coach, and I agree we must have strong backs and core,when I did my first squat at 60kgs I did use a belt,cos coach told me to,now I don't feel like it so I don't and I'm fine.
Romanian deadlifts involve bent knees, maybe you're thinking SLDLs?
He bent a lot, then again, wait a moment...stiff legs dead lifts you say?
AH you're right, oh I thought it was rumanian, hehe ,well I'm just recently using the proper names so yeah SLDL is what I do, thanks to you know I now how it's called.
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Katzedernacht wrote: »Katzedernacht wrote: »I haven't had that,well once, I was doing rumanian deadlift and guy be like "bend those knees" and I was like, "No,it's rumanian" haha
But most of the time no one tells me stuff,only my coach, and I agree we must have strong backs and core,when I did my first squat at 60kgs I did use a belt,cos coach told me to,now I don't feel like it so I don't and I'm fine.
Romanian deadlifts involve bent knees, maybe you're thinking SLDLs?
He bent a lot, then again, wait a moment...stiff legs dead lifts you say?
AH you're right, oh I thought it was rumanian, hehe ,well I'm just recently using the proper names so yeah SLDL is what I do, thanks to you know I now how it's called.
Rumanian = Romanian?
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I do SL 5x5 as well. The younger men at my gym never offer advice. I've had older men at the gym offer me advice, and I take it or leave it. Most of the people who go there do weight training in some form, most of them on a machine. It's a grungy old gym geared mostly towards weight training.
When I first started at this gym, one guy, who's a "trainer," told me I shouldn't do bench presses because it can cause breast cancer in women. Because of the bar hitting the breasts or something? No idea. I just told him thanks, and that I'd look into it, and just kept bench pressing.
Another older man was critiquing my squats (again when I first started at the gym). But, he couldn't explain anything to me in a way that made it seem his advice was different from what I was doing.
There's one regular who has actually helped me quite a bit. My form was okay, but he's given me little tips (no big secrets, just things I wasn't thinking of being new to it all) that have really helped me, especially with my squats and OH.
Then, just this week, another regular noticed how much weight I was about to squat. He asked if I wrap my knees. I said I didn't, and didn't really know anything about it and if I should or not. He said he's been wrapping since he started lifting when he was young, because professional competitors told him he should. The other regular I mentioned said he doesn't plan to until he feels he needs the support. I've seen others wrap, but have never looked it up to see when or why you should. Maybe it's something I'll need to do at some point.
Sorry, my post longer than I meant it to be! But, my point is that, yes, I get advice about lifting. I take it or leave it. I've actually learned some valuable things from a couple of people. And if someone things my form is really off, I'd rather they say something and I'll take what they say and evaluate it. Maybe my form is off, maybe they're uninformed, but I'd still rather they say something in the event I am doing something wrong that I didn't realize.0 -
I've only ever spoken up once and it was when someone was just butchering a squat. I told them their form was terrible and that they'll wreck their back if they keep it up. I then recommended they should watch form videos or ask a trainer for advice.0
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arditarose wrote: »A man stopped me before I went to reverse barbell lunge last week, he looked my legs up and down and said "You want to slim your legs down right? You should cycle and do less of this stuff...You'll get your legs nice and toned". Not only did it piss me off, it made me self-conscious and ruined my workout.
I just told him that I "highly disagree" and like lifting. I also told him I've done my research and just tried to shut him down.
Wow, what an ignorant *kitten*. Crap like that is why women are cardio obsessed and terrified of lifting. Good for you, responding as politely as you did.
I'm sorry you had to face such sexist discouragement
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When I first started at this gym, one guy, who's a "trainer," told me I shouldn't do bench presses because it can cause breast cancer in women. Because of the bar hitting the breasts or something? No idea. I just told him thanks, and that I'd look into it, and just kept bench pressing.
What?!!! Seriously, wtf?! There is zero science behind that. Ignorant d**chebag.
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sistrsprkl wrote: »He wasn't hitting on me, he was like in his 70's. I'll keep working on my strength and form so people won't have anything to say
His in his 70s What's the big deal. He could ave been a pro in his prime.take his advise an LEARN FROM IT..love to see any of you guys train at his age..
The advice he gave was questionable ... that she should use a belt to "save" her back.0
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