Daughter wants to gain weight (vegetarian bordering on vegan)

MrsMizart

My eldest daughter has always been slim, but recently she's lost more weight and she's not happy about it. She needs to gain about seven to fourteen pounds.

She's recently turned vegetarian, bordering on vegan, and has given up milk as it makes her gunky.

She's a student so usually away from home, which is part of the issue as she forgets to eat; obviously when home she knows when it's mealtimes and doesn't have any issue eating what's provided. Hubby is learning about the right sort of food, but none of us know it well enough yet to deal with the need to gain weight as, until she came back home, we had meals set for losing weight.

We used to be able to give her rice pudding and it would put on a bit of weight in reasonable time. About to try arboria(sp?) and almond milk to see if that tastes okay and helps.

She doesn't have any issues about putting on some weight, just doesn't know how to do it with her new way of eating. She'll eat nuts, and suitable biscuits, etc., and I'm trying to provide suggestions, which she'll listen to, but not be overly intrusive as otherwise it may become an issue rather than an annoyance, although I have suggested that maybe four bottles of Lucozade a day isn't good for the system.

Exercise used to be in the form of looking after and riding our horses, but they're all living out and either retired or too young to ride now, so exercise other than walking isn't really happening. She's just taken up scuba diving, but that's not going to do much in the way of building muscle or providing much cardio.

I asked her if she'd like me to ask on here for peoples' thoughts on vegetarian/vegan weight gaining foods and she was fine with it, hopeful I think that someone could point us in the right direction :-)

So folks, sorry for the mammoth post, but does anyone have any suggestions?

MamaBirdBoss

Hummus and pita chips.

If she's having a hard time keeping a healthy weight as a vegetarian, I'd be seriously concerned about her food choices masking an eating disorder. There are anorexics whose goal is to be thin, but there are others who become thin because of their issues with food.

Dovekat

Look for calorie dense foods as a suggestion Try nut butters, avacado, coconut oil and coconut cream for example. All these mix well into smoothies with oatmeal and fruit. These might also be useful sites. http://ecovegangal.com/learn/how-to/item/1135-how-to-gain-weight-on-the-vegan-diet http://www.choosingraw.com/gaining-weight-with-raw-and-vegan-foods/

MamaBirdBoss

BTW, no amount of exercise will put weight on her. She is eating less than she is burning right now. She will continue to lose weight as long as that continues.

Healthy people don't just "forget" to eat to the point that they become underweight. People who claim that have food avoidance issues for one reason or another. Even people with low hunger drives are pushed to eat when their bodies are under-nourished. She may have suppressed her natural sense of hunger for so long that she no longer recognizes it.

There are SO MANY red flags in what you've written.

Many, many, MANY vegetarians and vegans are obese--despite the propaganda. It's not a lifestyle that is automatically associated with weight loss. Her losing weight could be linked to her food avoidance issues, but it isn't due to her being vegetarian or vegan. If she's claiming it's for "health" reasons, you know right there that's not true given her current weight.

It's more dangerous to be 5lbs underweight than it is to be at the top end of overweight.

You might want to watch a few episodes of Supersize vs. Superskinny to see the different kinds of disordered eating that can lead someone to being (even severely) underweight. Wanting to be super-thin isn't the only reason--far from it. There are as many reasons for undereating as overeating. Many are unhappy with their thinness but feel, at first, like they couldn't possibly be eating more than they are...or else like they need to eat all the GOOD foods and the RIGHT foods, and their focus on that goes hand-in-hand with their restrictions.

maytehsp0rksbewithy0u

There are vegan weight gainer shakes that she may want to give a try. Otherwise, suggest making her own that she can take with her with protein powder, peanut butter, etc because drinks don't fill you up like regular food and she can drink those in addition to her regular meals.

JudithNYC

I eat vegan (notice I did not say am vegan because I am open to eating meat). My favorite breakfast is a large glass,of soymilk and a couple slices of Ezekiel bread (whole grain) slathered with almond buttercand agave nectar. Ezekiel bread is 80 cal per slice but there are tons of other breads at 100 or more per slice, soy milk is about 120 cal for 8 oz (I prefer 12 oz), almond butter 135 cal per ounce (I put one on each toast) and agave nectar is 60 cal per tablespoon.

And that is how I found myself at 220 pounds last April.

Don't get me started on lunch, but pasta, potatoes, rice, beans, seitan, tofu are among my favorites and not low cal. Add healthy fats and you are set. If she's not averse to it there are tons of yummy meat analogs in the market, some healthier than others. I specially like the Cedar Lake brand and soy curls.

Good luck to both you and your daughter. I don't know how underweight she is or her age but if she's healthy don't worry too much. You seem to becapproaching it right not wanting to make an issue out of it. My mom did and look at me now.

MelissaPhippsFeagins

I believe that some (maybe not all) of the Luna bars are vegan and they can be carried in your purse to avoid "forgetting to eat." (My son with autism does forget to eat, even living at home. He gets absorbed in whatever and doesn't realize time has passed.) Bananas are good for that too and, believe it or not sugar snap peas and baby carrots travel well in a Ziploc bag. Good luck to her.

MrsMizart

Thank you so very much folks, lots and lots of things to look at :-)

She does have other issues, which are known and being dealt with; sorry I didn't reference them in my opening post. It was a good call MBB, thank you. Some of her issues do cause her to forget to eat, it's just part of it, which we can manage when she's home but less so when at uni. She's found an app that reminds her, which is helping :-)

Regarding the exercise, it was more a way of encouraging her body to be hungry and to need the energy to do the exercise. It's worked in the past and I've considered buying another horse that's rideable, but dread it going lame as that's why two of them are now field ornaments, as that would just exacerbate the other things.

LiftAndBalance

In addition to what everyone else suggested, she could also take nuts and dried fruit to uni with her and keep them at the top of her bag, on the table during lectures etc. (basically visible) to snack on during the whole day. They're very high in calories and not very filling (sadly for me, they're one of the things I had to cut back dramatically).

MrsMizart

Another excellent idea, thank you :-)

MamaBirdBoss

MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »

I believe that some (maybe not all) of the Luna bars are vegan and they can be carried in your purse to avoid "forgetting to eat." (My son with autism does forget to eat, even living at home. He gets absorbed in whatever and doesn't realize time has passed.) Bananas are good for that too and, believe it or not sugar snap peas and baby carrots travel well in a Ziploc bag. Good luck to her.

Okay, yes, autistics will forget to eat. They're not neurotypical, though!

MrsMizart

Update: Thank you all folks :-) Daughter is enjoying the new foods :-)

She's put a reminder in her phone and is enjoying a calorie rich smoothie every day. There are bags of nuts left out to have in passing. We've shopped for foods that are ethical and she's much happier about eating them. She's showing a keen interest in the health benefits of various foods. There's been a small weight gain, which is grand that it's coming nice and steady. She's enjoying scuba diving once a week and has more energy for it, and for longer walks with the dogs. She still gets tired but that's to be expected as she works through various things. Her skin is clearing up as well :-)

We've joined her in a number of veggie and vegan meals, which has opened our eyes to new ideas :-). I'm doing my best to back off and let her find her way, just being on hand to offer support, gentle reminders and suggestions. She's teaching us a lot and making us more aware of what we have in the house. I thought we did okay with having organic and free range, but she's showing us a step further :-) Just found out about a fairly local shop that sounds promising for some of the things people have mentioned but we haven't been able to find, so a trip there is next in the list.

With regards to remembering to eat, she's put reminders in her phone for specifics, such as the smoothies. Obviously whilst at home there are three meals a day as the norm; when she's back at uni the reminders will help and I'll remember to ask. Luckily she doesn't mind being reminded :-)

So folks, thank you again for your input, it's been most helpful and appreciated :-)

ThomasWright1997

Almond/peanut butter.
COCONUT OIL (like 200cals a tbspoon)
Weight gainer shake?
Protein shake?
Baked beans?
Nuts?


Why would you even be a veggie though? If you are worried about welfare, why not just buy organic and free range produce.

Cryptonomnomicon

ThomasWright1997 wrote: »

Almond/peanut butter.
COCONUT OIL (like 200cals a tbspoon)
Weight gainer shake?
Protein shake?
Baked beans?
Nuts?


Why would you even be a veggie though? If you are worried about welfare, why not just buy organic and free range produce.

Usually because of ethical reasons, but maybe it's just a personal preference. Not everyone's moral compass is pointed in the same direction.

http://www.savvyvegetarian.com/articles/plant-food-protein-chart.pdf

Vegetarian friendly
Eggs - whites only 4.4
Whey Isolate - standard 5.2
Greek yogurt - 0% 5.7
Cottage Cheese - non fat 7.2
Milk - skim 10.3
Mozzarella - part-skim 10.6
Eggs - whole 11.0
Milk - 2% 16.7

Vegan friendly
Plant-based protein powder (RawFusion) 5.5
Seitan - generic 5.7
Mushrooms - raw 7.3
Spinach - raw 7.7
Nutritional Yeast 8.6
Tofu - firm 8.8
Edamame - shelled fresh 11.1
Lentils - dry 13.6
Brussell Sprouts 14.3
Beans - kidney 14.7
Kale - raw 16.7
Hemp Seeds - hulled 18.0
Quinoa - dry 26.3

As mentioned their are plenty of vegan/vegetarian protein powders out there, high calorie/ nutrient dense options are easily found doing a web search, as are recipes and snacks. Nuts, seeds, oils etc are small in size but calorie dense. Peanut or any nut butter is great as well.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/45-happy-herbivores

SherryTeach

The biggest red flag for me is that the daughter is unable to advocate for herself (here or wherever) and that a parent of an adult is needing to do it.

Cryptonomnomicon

SherryTeach wrote: »

The biggest red flag for me is that the daughter is unable to advocate for herself (here or wherever) and that a parent of an adult is needing to do it.

A lot of people don't wear their dietary preferences or problems on their sleeve like a majority of MFP. She is probably not even a member. Kudos for the mother showing concern. yes there are a few red flags but the mother doesn't seem in denial or combative about suggestions. It is nice to see everyone showing concern.

Also as mentioned earlier being vegan/vegetarian does not cause one to be underweight, a consistent calorie deficit does. Sounds like the mother has an ongoing dialogue with her daughter. I would suggest to the mother to be vigilant and to provide support where needed and do a little research on eating disorders to be on the safe side.

auddii

SherryTeach wrote: »

The biggest red flag for me is that the daughter is unable to advocate for herself (here or wherever) and that a parent of an adult is needing to do it.

Um, it's against TOS to have underage people on this app?

MrsMizart wrote: »

Update: Thank you all folks :-) Daughter is enjoying the new foods :-)

She's put a reminder in her phone and is enjoying a calorie rich smoothie every day. There are bags of nuts left out to have in passing. We've shopped for foods that are ethical and she's much happier about eating them. She's showing a keen interest in the health benefits of various foods. There's been a small weight gain, which is grand that it's coming nice and steady. She's enjoying scuba diving once a week and has more energy for it, and for longer walks with the dogs. She still gets tired but that's to be expected as she works through various things. Her skin is clearing up as well :-)

We've joined her in a number of veggie and vegan meals, which has opened our eyes to new ideas :-). I'm doing my best to back off and let her find her way, just being on hand to offer support, gentle reminders and suggestions. She's teaching us a lot and making us more aware of what we have in the house. I thought we did okay with having organic and free range, but she's showing us a step further :-) Just found out about a fairly local shop that sounds promising for some of the things people have mentioned but we haven't been able to find, so a trip there is next in the list.

With regards to remembering to eat, she's put reminders in her phone for specifics, such as the smoothies. Obviously whilst at home there are three meals a day as the norm; when she's back at uni the reminders will help and I'll remember to ask. Luckily she doesn't mind being reminded :-)

So folks, thank you again for your input, it's been most helpful and appreciated :-)

OP, thanks for the update (people don't seem to be getting to your last comment). Happier and healthier sounds to be the outcome, and so good luck with your continued support of her. And I'm glad you and your husband are finding meals the whole family can enjoy.

SabrinaLC

You got a lot of great responses and some not so great!
All the best to your daughter while she is working to gain weight! I am a vegan and have been for the past 5 years, I was vegetarian a few years before that. I have no problem gaining/losing/maintaining weight. I have been studying fitness and nutrition for awhile now and will soon get nutrition certified. I would love to chat with you more outside of this post!

MrsMizart

@ThomasWright - no idea, her choice :-)
@Cryptomono - thank you :-) She's done some searches and is enjoying experimenting. She has always had to be reminded to eat, from being a toddler. Doctors never considered it to be an issue as she was always within the weight range for her age and height. It's just part of who she is. We're used to feeding her up when she's home from Uni, but it was easier when she wasn't a vegetarian and would have dairy. Now she's cut out milk her eternal 'colds' have cleared up, so that's good :-) Very good point about the eating disorder research, thank you. I've been reading up and so far am comfortable that it's just the way she is rather than an eating disorder in the making, though remaining vigilant as she works through some other things that this doesn't slide into being a problem.
@SherryTeach - we were talking about various foods and this was one avenue that I offered to explore, ie on MFP, as I'm a member and she isn't :-) She's doing her own investigations, mine is now merely the supporting cast :-)
@auddii - thank you :-) We've all become fans of spicy bean burgers :-) As for responses, it is t'internet so if one wants the good one sometimes has to consider the sometimes more oblique responses. Everything has something to glean from it :-)
@SabrinaLC - thank you :-) It's always interesting to hear of people's approaches and findings, so you're more than welcome to send me a pm if you would like to :-)

Thank you again everyone for your help and concern, it is much appreciated :-)

Patttience

Whoah! lots of help! :-)

I was going to suggest avocados and yes more nuts. What about yoghurt? Full cream yoghurt. And also cream. Cream and strawberries are delicious. Cream and marscapone cheese is evenmore delicious but also more expensive. Any type of cheese but she will have to be careful not to over do the cheese and end up gaining more than she wants.

Also if she is going vegetarian and not drinking milk, then she should be researching what her vitamin and mineral nutrition needs are. As well ensuring she gets enough protein. I don't normally advise this but she probably needs to eat some of those processed vegan meats.

Also asian noodles, more spaghetti which is always easy. More bread and butter. Tell her to choose whole grains or good quality breads.

MrsMizart

Thank you kindly :-) Yoghurt is the dairy issue, but she's found some soy ones she likes, and some fake squirty cream :-) Her sister made some vegan cookies, which went down well :-) Good point re the vits, thank you. She's taking a multivit for now whilst researching what will be best for her. She has pasta, but hadn't thought of Asian noodles. She's also started making her version of pizza and is going to make one for us at the weekend :-)