Ex-Skinny Girl Problems

JNVINSON

Usually that title is the other way around, but does anyone know what I mean by Ex-Skinny Girl Problems?

Before I gained my 40 pounds, I was always considered a “pretty girl” whatever that means. However since I have gained weight people have changed.

40 pounds ago, my life had seemed privileged. I would get free food at restaurants, drinks, door held for me most of all the time, friendly assistance at stores, discounts, friendly smiles or conversations and etc.

These privileges came from men, women, friends, family and etc.

Fast forward to eating a lot of junk food, neglecting to work out and dressing to cover my fat, I no longer have this privileged life style anymore. I did not realize how much your treated different by your looks.

Let’s be clear I was never one of those stuck up girls, I was just as kind to everyone else, but oh how things change.

Anyone know what I’m talking about??

candydelacolina

hi
iam yuri, i know exactly what you are talking about... i gained 65lbs! i USED to be hot.. the problem is that the more I gain, the mire anxiety attacks i get and the more i eat... i feel like i will never lose all this weight

bizarrefish

Not a girl here, but it's really really interesting to hear your side of that kind of situation, thanks for sharing.

candydelacolina, the anxiety needs to be tackled; whatever you path you take it will probably foul you up, so make it a priority to deal with it. The mistake many people make is they wake up one day feeling like they'd really be able to stick to a diet or whatever, decide they're going to do it, and just stop there. They don't realise that they likely won't wake up the next day feeling this way - it was probably a fluke that they felt that positive today. Lifestyle changes need to last longer than a day, so this approach will simply knock your ego hard when you do wake up the next day without the same impulse to continue. Not good enough.
Starting to treat the anxiety is a crucial step toward success.

I'm just using the anxiety as an example of a factor which needs to change, because it *will* control your success here. There are other factors; for instance, if you have a significant other who regularly buys junk food, you should probably ask them to stop as it could hurt your progress, at least at first.

Again, no point just trying to muscle through it, people aren't very good at that and you'll end up weak and defeated; actively give yourself the best chance of success, always trying not just to succeed at the time, but to make sure you will succeed tomorrow. Every decision you make, make sure it makes sticking to the lifestyle easer. Try not to go down the road of 'I can get away with that', it can easily end in feeling deprived and again, defeat.

You could just take the first week or two of whatever plan you pick and, rather than calorie-limiting with the intent to lose weight, just get used to the food and what you can do with it. It'll help in the long run, really.



I hate to sound like I'm selling something (which I certainly am not), and I'd definitely recommend looking into something like CBT for the anxiety, but I'd take a look at a low-carbohydrate ketogenic diet (often called 'keto', or LCHF for Low Carb High Fat) . There are a lot of people who have success with anxiety as an unanticipated side effect of beginning a keto plan, as a google search will show:
http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=keto+and+anxiety

Weight loss methods should be tailored to the individual, and it looks like this kind of plan is perhaps a good choice for anxious people, as well as being an effective way to lose weight to boot.

Here are a couple of links if you're interested in going down that avenue:
LCHF for beginners: http://www.dietdoctor.com/lchf - Read this first, the site is good too.
Peter Attia's "How can I lose weight" : http://eatingacademy.com/how-can-i-lose-weight - Lots of good information, generally very accessible, but get very sciencey in places.
"Why we get fat" by Gary Taubes : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywRV3GH5io0 - Presentation where Gary talks down-to-earth about Obesity.
Keto community on reddit : http://www.reddit.com/r/keto/ - Check for the posts with progress pictures tagged [PICS] if you want proof that big people can absolutely be small again, some really amazing changes people make on this diet. Also lots of stories from people and advice. Drop in, read the FAQ and ask a question if you have one.

I'd say 'good luck' to both of you guys, but I think 'luck' as an idea is pretty fake and also unempowering, so I'll just say 'you got this' .

acpgee

I was working the international circuit as a fashion model in my teens and early twenties so I used to be quite stunning. Until I lost my looks due to age and weight gain, I hadn't understood that I had been getting special treatment because of my looks all during my youth. Naively, I used to just think that people were kinder, and genuinely interested in the opinion of strangers. Women too.

hollyhousekitchen

Not to the extent that you're talking about, but when I gained weight there was a pretty significant difference in the way I was treated.

JDF125

I am kind of feeling how you feel, and to be honest I MISS IT.. I had a banging bod with perfect curves and now they seem to be just meshing into this blob lol! I have a boyfriend and we met about 4 years ago and we were both fit and in shape... then we got into that comfortable stage with each other and he moved in and we ate out every day and drank cocktails that were high in sugar and we didnt have a care in the world! And I was excited I have someone who loved me no matter how much I was gaining, but recently we both woke up and looked at each other and said we need to get back to what we were and have that attraction towards each other again. I want to be able to go out and show him off and have girls be jealous hes taken.. and vise versa for him Im sure. We seriously got to the point of just over eating and putting such crap in our mouths I was begining to feel like just another fat american statistic!! So this is my first week into this. I hope I can stay motivated and get back to that in shape hot girl once again! How do you guys stay motivated and not fall off the bandwagon?? To be honest not going out and having social drinks is gonna be hard on friday afternoons for happy hour

amunet07

I do know what you are talking about. Its depressing.

hollyhousekitchen

JDF125 I know exactly what you're saying. That happened with me and my (now) ex.

BekaBooluvsu

We all have our shine time. Time to get on it and be back to the better you. You can do it!

ak1113

Thank you for posting this...I totally relate. I have gained 20 pounds and I don't feel sexy at all. I used to be an actress and my body was something I was so proud of...I have spent the last couple of years in and out of WW but I can' t seem to get it back. I was depressed for a while too. But now, I have bought a fit bit and I am using fitness pal and I am hopeful that it will come back

sweetd6

If it doesn't happen with weight it eventually happens with age. People don't MEAN to be nicer to good looking people, it seems to be part of human nature. It's really just strangers that act nicer to the better looking. Once people get to know you, you are treated more on your inner self than your outer self, and a positive, kind person will always be well loved.

kailaani

I am experiencing a similar thing. I have lost out on the last 9 jobs I have gone for despite being able to do the job standing on my head and more qualified than I need to be. I always get interviews, due to my CV, but always lose out on securing the job (depsite amazing interviews and feedback). I honestly believe that society sees overweight people as lazy and laiden with health problems. Ironic really considering I haven't had a day off sick in over 10 years!