Avoiding social gatherings

gizmosmom02

I am seriously thinking about avoiding social gatherings (ie dinner at friends' houses, backyard bbq's). I am too weak right now and ALWAYS overeat (way overeat) so this evening I decided to be antisocial for a while until I feel stronger around food.

Just wondering if anyone else did this. (I know all about the "tricks" to eat a bit before going or always have a glass of water in your hand, but this stuff never works for me. I am weak so temporary avoidance is my plan.)

ggspice17

I have the exact same problem don't worry!!!!! I feel that there's really not much you can do except for being healthy snacks with you to munch on and to stay strong. Just keep reminding yourself that it'll all be worth it, don't give up your social life!

MysticRealm

Nope, not really. I generally eat a bit less during the week so I can eat more on the weekends to allow for eating out (I can also switch my higher cals to a weekday if that's when something is happening, but most things happen on the weekend). Or if I have had a higher cal week or just want to stick a little lower in cal I might bring my own snacks/food (depending on the type of occasion or who is putting it on)

arditarose

Not really. But sometimes if a friend suggests dinner AND drinks, I may mention that I'd like to just get drinks. Not always, but just when I really feel I need to pull myself together.

85Cardinals

What good is sitting alone in your room? Come hear the music play.

WinterSkies

85Cardinals wrote: »

What good is sitting alone in your room? Come hear the music play.

Life is a cabaret, my friend. Come to the cabaret

OP, I find just thinking about logging everything into my food diary keeps me from overeating at social events. Might that be something that could help you avoid overeating?

EmmaFitzwilliam

Real life has social gatherings and special occasions. Working out a strategy for either letting one day be no big deal or for how to manage your choices on those days is a good way to build long term success.

Machka9

First, we don't do much in the way of social gatherings. Definitely not a daily thing or even a weekly thing. We're usually too busy travelling or cycling on the weekends.

Second, funny thing ... it seemed like the moment I signed up with MFP, all of a sudden we did have social gatherings/special occasions on the calendar. So I treated them like a challenge ... like a problem I had to solve.


First up was a weekend away to attend an event. Last year we stayed near the event and drove everywhere. This year we stayed further away from the event, and cycled everywhere. We also bought food at a supermarket and put together sandwiches and salad, rather than eating the pies, snags, and cheese-laden baked potatoes sold at the event.

Next was my birthday weekend and I wanted Mexican food and cheesecake ... so, I prelogged everything, and we cycled a whole lot to cover the extra calories. I cycled my age one day that weekend ... it's a cyclist tradition ... plus a bunch more.

Then there were two different weekends we had friends come to visit and we went out for dinner. Again ... I checked the menu online a couple days before and prelogged my choice. Plus ... you guessed it ... lots of cycling.

And Easter arrived ... more travelling, more eating out ... but lots of cycling and walking. We tend to park the van and get around by human power when we travel.


Tips:

-- Prelog whenever you can so you know what you're dealing with. On one occasion, I discovered that one dish (which happened to be one of my favourites) is quite a bit lower in calories than some of the others. That was a happy surprise. On another occasion, I lopped off 1/3 of my chicken parma and gave it to my husband so that my portion size would be smaller.

-- Exercise before you go out. If you're going out in the evening, get in a workout during the afternoon.

-- Invite your friends to exercise with you ... for example, if you go out for dinner, follow up with a walk together.

-- Choose the green tossed salad with no dressing to start. This fills me up a bit so that I'm not so ravenous when it comes to the dinner.

-- Choose things like steamed veggies rather than chips ... or the half-size rather than the full-size.

oh_happy_day

I understand the people. A friend just invited me to her birthday party at a bar that only serves pizzas and burgers. Not a salad in sight. Ugh. I usually volunteer to drive which forces me just to have one glass of wine, which helps me control myself. (Two glasses of wine = eat all the things!) I try to pre-log and also create a calorie deficit elsewhere in the week to even it out.

defatify

I don't avoid socializing, but I totally understand the urge to. I come from a nosy/pushy family that cannot keep their eyes on their own plates and it's exhausting trying to explain what/why I'm eating whatever I choose, then politely trying to change the subject before they tell me about how I should try raspberry ketones.

Machka9

oh_happy_day wrote: »

I understand the people. A friend just invited me to her birthday party at a bar that only serves pizzas and burgers. Not a salad in sight. Ugh. I usually volunteer to drive which forces me just to have one glass of wine, which helps me control myself. (Two glasses of wine = eat all the things!) I try to pre-log and also create a calorie deficit elsewhere in the week to even it out.

I think in that case, I'd eat a salad or bowl of steamed veggies before I went.

Then limit myself to one or two slices of pizza, depending on how much exercise I've done.

Can you check their menu online to find out what is the lowest cal option?

zoeysasha37

Just learn how to use portion control and moderation . it takes time and practice , but learning how to handle those social situations is really important for long term success.
So don't hide, get out and enjoy yourself in moderation!!

hearthwood

Well, you're never going to get away from food. So go have fun, but just do small portions, and don't ever go for seconds. Eat to live, not live to eat.

Caitoriri

More talking, less eating.
Honestly, I'm happy to overeat on the weekends sometimes if it means being with my friends. If I'm going to make this a lifestyle change and not a diet, I can't avoid social gatherings for the rest of my life. I don't want food to dictate my life in ANY kind of way.

People without weight problems often overeat one day on occasions like that and then intuitively under-eat the next day so that it balances out. They don't even realise they do it.
If it's not something you're doing all the time, try going in with the knowledge you'll probably be over your calories for the day - just not by too much. And then eat a little less for breakfast the next day or something.
If it IS something you're doing all the time, then yeah, don't worry about skipping out sometimes. Have a bit of time to yourself. Just don't make it all about the food.

oh_happy_day

Machka9 wrote: »

oh_happy_day wrote: »

I understand the people. A friend just invited me to her birthday party at a bar that only serves pizzas and burgers. Not a salad in sight. Ugh. I usually volunteer to drive which forces me just to have one glass of wine, which helps me control myself. (Two glasses of wine = eat all the things!) I try to pre-log and also create a calorie deficit elsewhere in the week to even it out.

I think in that case, I'd eat a salad or bowl of steamed veggies before I went.

Then limit myself to one or two slices of pizza, depending on how much exercise I've done.

Can you check their menu online to find out what is the lowest cal option?

Already have checked the menu, that's how I discovered the lack of options. Often I order a side of vegies or similar, but they don't even have that option. That was exactly my plan - create a deficit, eat beforehand and then have a slice of my DH's pizza.

BWBTrish

You dont gain weight from a social gathering...but from to much eating.
From going every time or eating to much every time.
I go to a social gathering and next day back on track

It didn't stop me from losing 100 pounds in 8.5 months. Life goes on you know.

Machka9

oh_happy_day wrote: »

Machka9 wrote: »

oh_happy_day wrote: »

I understand the people. A friend just invited me to her birthday party at a bar that only serves pizzas and burgers. Not a salad in sight. Ugh. I usually volunteer to drive which forces me just to have one glass of wine, which helps me control myself. (Two glasses of wine = eat all the things!) I try to pre-log and also create a calorie deficit elsewhere in the week to even it out.

I think in that case, I'd eat a salad or bowl of steamed veggies before I went.

Then limit myself to one or two slices of pizza, depending on how much exercise I've done.

Can you check their menu online to find out what is the lowest cal option?

Already have checked the menu, that's how I discovered the lack of options. Often I order a side of vegies or similar, but they don't even have that option. That was exactly my plan - create a deficit, eat beforehand and then have a slice of my DH's pizza.

Good plan.

RodaRose

If I had enough calories for the day, I would get a plain hamburger (no fries) and either eat the bun or skip the bun).

blankiefinder

What I would do is set my mind to eat at maintenance that day, eat low calorie filling foods for breakfast and lunch (Like cottage cheese, or grilled chicken breast), have a good workout, and then go and enjoy myself, without going nuts. Then move on.

Justthisgirl1994

You can organize smth yourself. That way you'd be in control of what food was around. You could organize a hike even.

When I go out I bring something along with me and just eat that instead. I have really good self control though so passing on hotdogs, beers etc is nbd to me. I also burn a lot of calories 500ish before going out, and eat just enough to meet my protein goals.

SunnyDayzMomma

I'm going to go against the grain, and say, that if temporarily you need to take time by yourself to be healthy, then by all means do it. I'm not saying stop being social and never go out again. I mean that if you feel that 2 weeks of re-focusing on healthy choices and exercise is going to give you a jump-start and help you make better choices after the 2 weeks, then I think it's a great idea. But in those 2 weeks (or however long), don't just sulk and get down on yourself about how little willpower you have and how it makes you lonely. Set a specific time limit. Then focus on ways to gain confidence, motivation, willpower, and how to choose yourself instead of that cupcake or heap of pasta salad. Read a motivational book, pray, read weight loss success stories, log everything because you have the time, learn some new recipes, drop in on a new type of exercise class, take long walks and think about how important your health is, reconnect with yourself. It sounds lovely to me And maybe plan a night out with friends to end your time, unbeknownst to them, and plan ahead and make healthy choices. Like a final exam to your re-focusing time.

barbecuesauce

SunnyDayzMomma wrote: »

I'm going to go against the grain, and say, that if temporarily you need to take time by yourself to be healthy, then by all means do it. I'm not saying stop being social and never go out again. I mean that if you feel that 2 weeks of re-focusing on healthy choices and exercise is going to give you a jump-start and help you make better choices after the 2 weeks, then I think it's a great idea. But in those 2 weeks (or however long), don't just sulk and get down on yourself about how little willpower you have and how it makes you lonely. Set a specific time limit. Then focus on ways to gain confidence, motivation, willpower, and how to choose yourself instead of that cupcake or heap of pasta salad. Read a motivational book, pray, read weight loss success stories, log everything because you have the time, learn some new recipes, drop in on a new type of exercise class, take long walks and think about how important your health is, reconnect with yourself. It sounds lovely to me And maybe plan a night out with friends to end your time, unbeknownst to them, and plan ahead and make healthy choices. Like a final exam to your re-focusing time.

How much weight have you lost while keeping away from social gatherings and refocusing on your willpower or whatever? Is this just a hypothetical thing you think would work?

You're not going against the grain so much as going against a lot of successful people who have told OP how to make it work. If you turn into some sort of diet hermit, you're turning calorie restriction into punishment and won't stick with it.

-65 pounds. Had Labor Day the week after starting this and skipped barbecue. Ended up eating gross grocery store cookies that were in the pantry.

Moderation is everything. Study restaurant menus, load up at the vegetable tray and have dabs of high-cal stuff, but don't stay home.

Machka9

SunnyDayzMomma wrote: »

I'm going to go against the grain, and say, that if temporarily you need to take time by yourself to be healthy, then by all means do it. I'm not saying stop being social and never go out again. I mean that if you feel that 2 weeks of re-focusing on healthy choices and exercise is going to give you a jump-start and help you make better choices after the 2 weeks, then I think it's a great idea. But in those 2 weeks (or however long), don't just sulk and get down on yourself about how little willpower you have and how it makes you lonely. Set a specific time limit. Then focus on ways to gain confidence, motivation, willpower, and how to choose yourself instead of that cupcake or heap of pasta salad. Read a motivational book, pray, read weight loss success stories, log everything because you have the time, learn some new recipes, drop in on a new type of exercise class, take long walks and think about how important your health is, reconnect with yourself. It sounds lovely to me And maybe plan a night out with friends to end your time, unbeknownst to them, and plan ahead and make healthy choices. Like a final exam to your re-focusing time.

Actually that's not a bad idea. Sometimes it is good to take a step away from "normal" life (whatever that is for you) for a couple weeks now and then.

I do something like that when I'm training for an event ... my first priority is exercise, specifically cycling. If you want to socialise with me, you get on a bicycle and ride with me. Otherwise, I'll see you after the event. And that has worked very well for me.

azulvioleta6

My trick is to focus on social events with do involve activity and don't involve food. For me, that is social dancing.

Cultivating new, more active friends helps.

Liftng4Lis

Learn moderation and enjoy your life.

MelodyandBarbells

Machka9 wrote: »

SunnyDayzMomma wrote: »

I'm going to go against the grain, and say, that if temporarily you need to take time by yourself to be healthy, then by all means do it. I'm not saying stop being social and never go out again. I mean that if you feel that 2 weeks of re-focusing on healthy choices and exercise is going to give you a jump-start and help you make better choices after the 2 weeks, then I think it's a great idea. But in those 2 weeks (or however long), don't just sulk and get down on yourself about how little willpower you have and how it makes you lonely. Set a specific time limit. Then focus on ways to gain confidence, motivation, willpower, and how to choose yourself instead of that cupcake or heap of pasta salad. Read a motivational book, pray, read weight loss success stories, log everything because you have the time, learn some new recipes, drop in on a new type of exercise class, take long walks and think about how important your health is, reconnect with yourself. It sounds lovely to me And maybe plan a night out with friends to end your time, unbeknownst to them, and plan ahead and make healthy choices. Like a final exam to your re-focusing time.

Actually that's not a bad idea. Sometimes it is good to take a step away from "normal" life (whatever that is for you) for a couple weeks now and then.

I do something like that when I'm training for an event ... my first priority is exercise, specifically cycling. If you want to socialise with me, you get on a bicycle and ride with me. Otherwise, I'll see you after the event. And that has worked very well for me.

Let me guess, that's when the most people tend to hang out with you??

Machka9

JaneiR36 wrote: »

Machka9 wrote: »

SunnyDayzMomma wrote: »

I'm going to go against the grain, and say, that if temporarily you need to take time by yourself to be healthy, then by all means do it. I'm not saying stop being social and never go out again. I mean that if you feel that 2 weeks of re-focusing on healthy choices and exercise is going to give you a jump-start and help you make better choices after the 2 weeks, then I think it's a great idea. But in those 2 weeks (or however long), don't just sulk and get down on yourself about how little willpower you have and how it makes you lonely. Set a specific time limit. Then focus on ways to gain confidence, motivation, willpower, and how to choose yourself instead of that cupcake or heap of pasta salad. Read a motivational book, pray, read weight loss success stories, log everything because you have the time, learn some new recipes, drop in on a new type of exercise class, take long walks and think about how important your health is, reconnect with yourself. It sounds lovely to me And maybe plan a night out with friends to end your time, unbeknownst to them, and plan ahead and make healthy choices. Like a final exam to your re-focusing time.

Actually that's not a bad idea. Sometimes it is good to take a step away from "normal" life (whatever that is for you) for a couple weeks now and then.

I do something like that when I'm training for an event ... my first priority is exercise, specifically cycling. If you want to socialise with me, you get on a bicycle and ride with me. Otherwise, I'll see you after the event. And that has worked very well for me.

Let me guess, that's when the most people tend to hang out with you??

Actually ... yes. Quite a few of my friends are cyclists, and most importantly, my husband is.

azulvioleta6 suggested, "Cultivating new, more active friends helps." and that's true. If you're surrounded by people who think nothing of going for a 75 km bicycle ride ... and then having a BBQ of chicken and salad ... it's a whole lot easier to stay on track while still socialising.

zdyb23456

I find social gatherings to be difficult too. I tend to eat lighter during the day to make up for it.

If it's buffet style, I try to be really critical of the choices available - I ask myself over and over is it really worth the calories? When I'm really honest with myself, a lot of choices just aren't worth it - soggy salads, mushy sides, plain/bland looking dishes... I'd rather save my calories for something worth it blowing my calories for.