Losing motivation and hope..please help

mustkeepgoing888

Hi all..I am 5'2" and currently weight about 127 (first thing in the morning). I had gradually lost a lot of weight over the years but feel that I am at a point where i just can't lose any more weight.

Two weeks ago i started becoming very motivated again and worked out daily, also watched what i ate....but after two weeks i gained 3.2 lbs. (two wednesdays ago i was 123.8)

What am I doing wrong?

Exercise
I jog 3.5 to 4 miles about 3 to 4 times a week, play volleyball 1 to 2 times a week, and go to bootcamp training about 2 times a week...i also do workout videos at home inolving hand weights almost everyday (usually 25 to 40 mins long each)...

As far as food goes:
8AM - 1/3 dry steel cut oats cooked with water, a teaspoon of chia seeds, a couple strawberries, a handful of blueberries, and about 10 raw almonds and half a teaspoon of honey

10:30AM - usually one ThinkThin protein bar or a plain FF greek yogurt, sometimes a piece of fruit

12:30PM - lunch - about 1 to 1.5 cup of steamed/grilled vegetables with minimal seasoning (salt/pepper), and steamed/grilled chicken or salmon (i usually eat half a chicken breast or half a salmon filet)

2:30PM to 3:30PM - either a yogurt or piece of fruit, sometimes a protein bar

6:00PM - smiliar to my lunch but sometimes instead of steamed veg i eat a large salad with kale/spinach/cherry tomatoes/strawberries/blueberries and a handful of almonds with a tablespoon of panera poppy seed fat free dressing

9:00PM - either a scoop of protein powder or a yogurt, depending on if i am hungry



I feel like i am alraedy restricting my diet a lot...and I don't know what else I am doing wrong...please share any insights...thanks

wizzybeth

How many calories per day are you eating? How much water are you drinking? Are you retaining fluids? Is it your TOM? I can have 3-4lbs of water weight at any given time due to my period or just not drinking enough water.

If you feel "restricted" you're not doing it right and won't be able to do this long term. What is your goal weight? I would kill to be 127. But I'm 5'6". Even so I don't think 127 sounds so horrible for 5'2"...in fact it's within the normal range for your height.

lemurcat12

You probably aren't doing anything wrong. If you started working out again 2 weeks ago the gain is likely just a normal fluctuation. I always gain some water weight when I increase or change my workouts, as your body needs to recover and that's part of the process. Also, women have different patterns during the month with respect to how their cycle affects weight fluctuations. I always tend to be higher in a couple weeks (the two weeks leading up to my TOM, oddly), and I know this varies woman to woman.

If you are consistently eating within your calories, I'd just give it time.

I also wouldn't be too restrictive, as that may make it hard to stay consistently within your calories. At your weight you are close to goal so won't want to aim for more than .5-1 lb / week (.5 is likely more realistic, but can be agonizing, I know). What is important is logging accurately and not having days on which you blow the deficit out of the water, which might be harder to avoid if you are feeling restricted.

mustkeepgoing888

Thanks for your reply wizzybeth, I eat anywhere between 1300 to 1800 calories per day. And I drink TONS of water...to the point where when my coworker sees me with my water bottles, they would say "you can drawn in that"....specifically...i drink at least 80oz of water a day.

I'm not on my period but i THINK i may be PMSing so i'm hoping that it is the reason for the weight gain.

I have come a long way in my weigh loss journey, from the time when i was the heaviest, i am now 40 pounds lighter. I didn't lose that weight just in a year or two, i lost it by gradually eating more healthy and living a healthier life style..I know my weight is not too bad...some people even call me "tiny"...i feel great when i'm covered in clothes but i would get really depressed whenever i need to put on a bathing suit.

By restricting, i just meant that I am not eating any of the junk food that I used to love...and even if once in a while i do eat them, i eat them in moderation...i have been eating quite healthy for a while now and i do think I have made it a lifestyle change...but i just dont know what else to do to lose weight...if i eat any less than now i will be starving....I feel so hopeless that I am even considering surgery...

mustkeepgoing888

lemurcat12 wrote: »

You probably aren't doing anything wrong. If you started working out again 2 weeks ago the gain is likely just a normal fluctuation. I always gain some water weight when I increase or change my workouts, as your body needs to recover and that's part of the process. Also, women have different patterns during the month with respect to how their cycle affects weight fluctuations. I always tend to be higher in a couple weeks (the two weeks leading up to my TOM.....

Thanks lemurcat..I will try to be patient and give it time. It's just very hard to stay motivated when you feel like you're doing all you can and the scale just keeps going up. I do think i am PMSing so i hope that my weight will go back down soon..

Jmaytes

I hit this same blockade myself. The way I got over it was I stopped stepping on the scale. From your diet I see you are eating the right things. Now it's a matter of toning up, you are also putting muscle on which could lead to weight gain. The only thing I would change is the cardio. I do more high intensity interval training rather then long distance running. If your goal is to get tone, then I would switch from aerobic activities like your 4 mile runs to anaerobic activities like jump rope, high knees, sprints, activities that increase your heart rate much greater. This will help develop leaner muscle. Hope this helps.

mustkeepgoing888

Jmaytes wrote: »

I hit this same blockade myself. The way I got over it was I stopped stepping on the scale. From your diet I see you are eating the right things. Now it's a matter of toning up, you are also putting muscle on which could lead to weight gain. The only thing I would change is the cardio. I do more high intensity interval training rather then long distance running. If your goal is to get tone, then I would switch from aerobic activities like your 4 mile runs to anaerobic activities like jump rope, high knees, sprints, activities that increase your heart rate much greater. This will help develop leaner muscle. Hope this helps.

Thanks Jmaytes..that is my problem too..im so obsessed with the scale I step on it EVERY TIME i go to the bathroom...i have tried hiding the scale but after like 3 days i would climb all the way to the top of my closet to get it. Thanks for the tip on the switching my training. I will try adding more HIIT workout into my routine instead of just going jogging.

ASKyle

If you're not weighing your food, get a food scale. We're the same height and I was 128 at my highest. Our deficit is so tiny that the margin of error can be thrown off simply by estimating portions and/or using cups and spoons as measurements.

1800 might be closer to maintenance for someone our size. How many calories did MFP give you?

Remember that in terms of weight loss, you can eat anything you want within your calorie goal. Try to work in some treats so that it doesn't feel so "restrictive". Restrictive doesn't work long term. Lose the weight the same way you will maintain it.

Last but not least- If you have access to a gym, start lifting heavy!

ASKyle

mustkeepgoing888 wrote: »

Jmaytes wrote: »

I hit this same blockade myself. The way I got over it was I stopped stepping on the scale. From your diet I see you are eating the right things. Now it's a matter of toning up, you are also putting muscle on which could lead to weight gain. The only thing I would change is the cardio. I do more high intensity interval training rather then long distance running. If your goal is to get tone, then I would switch from aerobic activities like your 4 mile runs to anaerobic activities like jump rope, high knees, sprints, activities that increase your heart rate much greater. This will help develop leaner muscle. Hope this helps.

Thanks Jmaytes..that is my problem too..im so obsessed with the scale I step on it EVERY TIME i go to the bathroom...i have tried hiding the scale but after like 3 days i would climb all the way to the top of my closet to get it. Thanks for the tip on the switching my training. I will try adding more HIIT workout into my routine instead of just going jogging.

Don't weigh yourself so frequently if it's distressing. This is a SLOW process when you have so little to lose and are so small. I spent 6 months losing 8 pounds!

Also there is no way you are putting on muscle. Women don't build muscle in a deficit, without trying, and you are not lifting.

mustkeepgoing888

ASKyle wrote: »

Don't weigh yourself so frequently if it's distressing. This is a SLOW process when you have so little to lose and are so small. I spent 6 months losing 8 pounds!

Also there is no way you are putting on muscle. Women don't build muscle in a deficit, without trying, and you are not lifting.

Thanks ASKyle! MFP gives me 1200 calories but I eat back some of the calories I burn from working out. Most of the days i eat about 1400 calories and 1800 would be more like a "cheat day"...

I had tried weighing my food before but i felt that whenever I had to weigh my foods, i was "restricting too much" because I couldn't see myself having to weigh my food for the rest of my life and i also tend to feel hungry all the time when i did that...so i took the guessing approach on purpose...but maybe you are right and i should just weigh my portion now...

I do not currently belong to a gym becuase I am already paying so much $$$ to attend bootcamp classes. I will look into joining one and perhaps hire a PT to help me get started with weightlifting...(Always felt intimated by all the machines and weights

Thanks again for your encouragement!

strong_curves

mustkeepgoing888 wrote: »

ASKyle wrote: »

Don't weigh yourself so frequently if it's distressing. This is a SLOW process when you have so little to lose and are so small. I spent 6 months losing 8 pounds!

Also there is no way you are putting on muscle. Women don't build muscle in a deficit, without trying, and you are not lifting.

Thanks ASKyle! MFP gives me 1200 calories but I eat back some of the calories I burn from working out. Most of the days i eat about 1400 calories and 1800 would be more like a "cheat day"...

I had tried weighing my food before but i felt that whenever I had to weigh my foods, i was "restricting too much" because I couldn't see myself having to weigh my food for the rest of my life and i also tend to feel hungry all the time when i did that...so i took the guessing approach on purpose...but maybe you are right and i should just weigh my portion now...

I do not currently belong to a gym becuase I am already paying so much $$$ to attend bootcamp classes. I will look into joining one and perhaps hire a PT to help me get started with weightlifting...(Always felt intimated by all the machines and weights

Thanks again for your encouragement!

Honestly, this is probably one of the best things that you can do to help aid in your weight loss.

ASKyle

strong_curves wrote: »

mustkeepgoing888 wrote: »

ASKyle wrote: »

Don't weigh yourself so frequently if it's distressing. This is a SLOW process when you have so little to lose and are so small. I spent 6 months losing 8 pounds!

Also there is no way you are putting on muscle. Women don't build muscle in a deficit, without trying, and you are not lifting.

Thanks ASKyle! MFP gives me 1200 calories but I eat back some of the calories I burn from working out. Most of the days i eat about 1400 calories and 1800 would be more like a "cheat day"...

I had tried weighing my food before but i felt that whenever I had to weigh my foods, i was "restricting too much" because I couldn't see myself having to weigh my food for the rest of my life and i also tend to feel hungry all the time when i did that...so i took the guessing approach on purpose...but maybe you are right and i should just weigh my portion now...

I do not currently belong to a gym becuase I am already paying so much $$$ to attend bootcamp classes. I will look into joining one and perhaps hire a PT to help me get started with weightlifting...(Always felt intimated by all the machines and weights

Thanks again for your encouragement!

Honestly, this is probably one of the best things that you can do to help aid in your weight loss.

I agree. The problem most likely is that you are eating too many calories. Consider weighing your foods for a month or two. This may help you get a better idea of what portion sizes are and the calories they contain.

On the bright side, I've found I can eat 3x the veggies for the same amount of calories once I started weighing!

aeschor

Can I ask what your end goal is? How much do you want to weigh?

mustkeepgoing888

ASKyle wrote: »

strong_curves wrote: »

mustkeepgoing888 wrote: »

ASKyle wrote: »

Don't weigh yourself so frequently if it's distressing. This is a SLOW process when you have so little to lose and are so small. I spent 6 months losing 8 pounds!

Also there is no way you are putting on muscle. Women don't build muscle in a deficit, without trying, and you are not lifting.

Thanks ASKyle! MFP gives me 1200 calories but I eat back some of the calories I burn from working out. Most of the days i eat about 1400 calories and 1800 would be more like a "cheat day"...

I had tried weighing my food before but i felt that whenever I had to weigh my foods, i was "restricting too much" because I couldn't see myself having to weigh my food for the rest of my life and i also tend to feel hungry all the time when i did that...so i took the guessing approach on purpose...but maybe you are right and i should just weigh my portion now...

I do not currently belong to a gym becuase I am already paying so much $$$ to attend bootcamp classes. I will look into joining one and perhaps hire a PT to help me get started with weightlifting...(Always felt intimated by all the machines and weights

Thanks again for your encouragement!

Honestly, this is probably one of the best things that you can do to help aid in your weight loss.

I agree. The problem most likely is that you are eating too many calories. Consider weighing your foods for a month or two. This may help you get a better idea of what portion sizes are and the calories they contain.

On the bright side, I've found I can eat 3x the veggies for the same amount of calories once I started weighing!

Thanks for the advice ladies! I will start weighing my food tonight. I do always load up on veggies for lunch and dinner though...at least 50% of my plate is vegatables because i know it can make me feel fuller for less calories.

mustkeepgoing888

aeschor wrote: »

Can I ask what your end goal is? How much do you want to weigh?

Hello! My end goal is 110lbs. But I am more concerned about how my body looks...i feel flabby really flabby in my mid section and thighs

aeschor

So you're still looking to lose 17 pounds, which is almost 14% of your current bodyweight.

The reason I asked is because when it's just one or two pounds, temporary things like weighing your food or cutting back on desserts are fine ideas. But if it's anything more than five pounds or so, what you want to focus on is lifestyle changes - permanent ones. Because once you get to 110 pounds - and I totally believe you can do it! - the real challenge starts, which is maintaining your weight. That's just as big a challenge! So think about what kind of daily habits you want to have for the next ten, twenty years. It sounds like jogging most days and playing volleyball (or some other sport) a couple times a week are things you can do long-term. Weighing your food and doing HIIT for your cardio might not be.

I also think it's really, really important that you mentioned how your body looks to you - not just the scale, but the feel of your body. You said that it feels flabby in the midsection and thighs, despite the fact that you've lost 40 pounds in the last few years (and congratulations on that, by the way, that's awesome). Losing more weight might not necessarily help with that, so you should think about what the priority is for you - being 110 pounds, or feeling like your body is looking the way you want it to look.

Because if you want to be 110 pounds at any cost, then weighing your food and doing more cardio will eventually get you there, albeit slowly. However, if you'd rather focus on the appearance than look at the scale, I'd highly recommend some strength training - ie weights, and heavy ones at that. There's nothing like doing squats, bench presses, etc to gain muscle, which will in turn help you get a less flabby midsection/thigh area. The downside to doing that is that lifting weights means you *do* gain muscle - ie weight. It will be "better" weight than the flab, and since you're a beginner you'll actually lose a fair amount of flab while gaining muscle, but that scale won't read 110 any time soon!

But for my money, I'd suggest ditching boot camp (just for now!) and finding a gym where they'll show you how to lift weights. Do it twice or three times a week for a month and you'll start finding muscles you never even knew you had. Plus, lifting weights gives you (or rather, it gives *me*) a really great psychological boost too. Because lifting weights is all about what your body can do, not about how it looks, and the first time you lift something heavier than you ever thought you could, you're going to get a big rush that will, I think, help you to achieve your goals.

mustkeepgoing888

aeschor wrote: »

So you're still looking to lose 17 pounds, which is almost 14% of your current bodyweight.

The reason I asked is because when it's just one or two pounds, temporary things like weighing your food or cutting back on desserts are fine ideas. But if it's anything more than five pounds or so, what you want to focus on is lifestyle changes - permanent ones. Because once you get to 110 pounds - and I totally believe you can do it! - the real challenge starts, which is maintaining your weight. That's just as big a challenge! So think about what kind of daily habits you want to have for the next ten, twenty years. It sounds like jogging most days and playing volleyball (or some other sport) a couple times a week are things you can do long-term. Weighing your food and doing HIIT for your cardio might not be.

I also think it's really, really important that you mentioned how your body looks to you - not just the scale, but the feel of your body. You said that it feels flabby in the midsection and thighs, despite the fact that you've lost 40 pounds in the last few years (and congratulations on that, by the way, that's awesome). Losing more weight might not necessarily help with that, so you should think about what the priority is for you - being 110 pounds, or feeling like your body is looking the way you want it to look.

Because if you want to be 110 pounds at any cost, then weighing your food and doing more cardio will eventually get you there, albeit slowly. However, if you'd rather focus on the appearance than look at the scale, I'd highly recommend some strength training - ie weights, and heavy ones at that. There's nothing like doing squats, bench presses, etc to gain muscle, which will in turn help you get a less flabby midsection/thigh area. The downside to doing that is that lifting weights means you *do* gain muscle - ie weight. It will be "better" weight than the flab, and since you're a beginner you'll actually lose a fair amount of flab while gaining muscle, but that scale won't read 110 any time soon!

But for my money, I'd suggest ditching boot camp (just for now!) and finding a gym where they'll show you how to lift weights. Do it twice or three times a week for a month and you'll start finding muscles you never even knew you had. Plus, lifting weights gives you (or rather, it gives *me*) a really great psychological boost too. Because lifting weights is all about what your body can do, not about how it looks, and the first time you lift something heavier than you ever thought you could, you're going to get a big rush that will, I think, help you to achieve your goals.

Hi aeschor, first of all, thank you SO MUCH for such a long and thoughtful response in efforts to try to help me. I truly appreciate it. Now, onto what you said. I am actually thinking about lifting weights soon...am currently trying to find a trainer to help me. I do rather look like 110 than actually being 110 and still have a flabby belly....i just have to get over my obession with the scale i suppose. Now as far as the "heavy weights", what does it really mean by heavy? The bootcamp that I attend already incorprates TRX/Dumbells and sometimes medicine balls, i thought these would count as strength training? Or would I have to actually do the barbell with plates type of weights (i dont really know if that's what they are called)? How are using bodyweight as resistance training (such as TRX) different from actually lifting?

Also, Is 2 to 3 times a week enough? I am always afraid of not doing enough, but 2 to 3 times a week plus my usual jogging/vball should be enough?

As far as life style changes, i felt that i have already living pretty healthyly....hence i was able to lose that much weight over the years...and i have been in maintenance mode (not by choice) for at least 1.5 years now...my weight seems to stay at 123-128 no matter what i did. That's why i now really feel struggled to try to lose weight - i just didn't know what else i was supposed to do.. Although now it seems to be clear that lifting weights and adding more strength training can help.

I am seeing a plastic surgeon next week for a consultation, but liposuction is really my last resort...so until i have tried to REALLY work on this myself, i will not want to use surgery to get to where i want to be.

aeschor

First off, I totally agree that the lifestyle you've got now is really healthy! And you've done it for a long time, so that's something you should be really proud of - it can be really hard for people to maintain a consistent exercise/eating program, so you're already WAY ahead of most people!

As for the weights questions: yep, 2 to 3 times a week is definitely enough, although I'd recommend twice a week for the first month or so and then creeping up to three times a week once you've got the hang of it. And alas no, the bootcamp weights don't really count - I'm guessing they're 5lbs or so, on average? What you should look at is the barbells with the plates (you got the terminology right!) as well as the heavy dumbbells (I've seen dumbbells that are 130 lbs EACH, and no I've never tried to lift one!). Strength training is all about getting you STRONG, and in order to do that - well, you've got to lift really heavy things!

So talk to a trainer who isn't afraid of teaching girls how to lift weights (you'd be amazed at how many of them are like "hur hur little girly you don't need to do that, get some man to do it for you!" which is NOT the attitude you need), and once your trainer has taught you all the correct forms, make sure to constantly challenge yourself by increasing those weights. I live in Austin and at my gym there are women who are 120 lbs lifting 200 lbs - and they look *amazing.*

Plus like I said, it gives you something else to focus on other than your scale: you start thinking about "how much am I going to bench press today?" rather than "how much am I going to weigh today?" which might also help with your "obsession with the scale" (which I totally understand - I had the same problem for a long time, it's a hard habit to break).

No matter what you decide to do, though, I want to emphasize that what you have *already done* is incredible, and worth being really proud of yourself. You've made a lot of really great changes in your life, and I know that sometimes it can feel hopeless when you still have goals you want to reach, but look how far you've come! Your progress is already an inspiration to other people (heck, you're pretty inspiring to me!) and I think you should give yourself a lot of credit for what you've accomplished already.

mustkeepgoing888

aeschor wrote: »

First off, I totally agree that the lifestyle you've got now is really healthy! And you've done it for a long time, so that's something you should be really proud of - it can be really hard for people to maintain a consistent exercise/eating program, so you're already WAY ahead of most people!

As for the weights questions: yep, 2 to 3 times a week is definitely enough, although I'd recommend twice a week for the first month or so and then creeping up to three times a week once you've got the hang of it. And alas no, the bootcamp weights don't really count - I'm guessing they're 5lbs or so, on average? What you should look at is the barbells with the plates (you got the terminology right!) as well as the heavy dumbbells (I've seen dumbbells that are 130 lbs EACH, and no I've never tried to lift one!). Strength training is all about getting you STRONG, and in order to do that - well, you've got to lift really heavy things!

So talk to a trainer who isn't afraid of teaching girls how to lift weights (you'd be amazed at how many of them are like "hur hur little girly you don't need to do that, get some man to do it for you!" which is NOT the attitude you need), and once your trainer has taught you all the correct forms, make sure to constantly challenge yourself by increasing those weights. I live in Austin and at my gym there are women who are 120 lbs lifting 200 lbs - and they look *amazing.*

Plus like I said, it gives you something else to focus on other than your scale: you start thinking about "how much am I going to bench press today?" rather than "how much am I going to weigh today?" which might also help with your "obsession with the scale" (which I totally understand - I had the same problem for a long time, it's a hard habit to break).

No matter what you decide to do, though, I want to emphasize that what you have *already done* is incredible, and worth being really proud of yourself. You've made a lot of really great changes in your life, and I know that sometimes it can feel hopeless when you still have goals you want to reach, but look how far you've come! Your progress is already an inspiration to other people (heck, you're pretty inspiring to me!) and I think you should give yourself a lot of credit for what you've accomplished already.

Thanks for your encouragements..it's funny because i have NEVER looked back at how far i have come....i tend to avoid seeing my old photos but after your post, i actually went to look for my photos from when i was at my heaviest...and now i feel like i cannot believe I was the same person. So, you are right, i should give myself a bit more credit.

The bootcamps that i go to incorporates weights from 5 to 15lbs...so yeah i guess they are not necessarily HEAVY at all (although the workouts still kill me sometimes haha) I have just found two potential trainers in my area so i am going to try them out and see their training style and whether they can push me as if I was a man!

Truly appreciate your advice!

aeschor

Anytime! Go out there and be awesome!

kshama2001

mustkeepgoing888 wrote: »

ASKyle wrote: »

Don't weigh yourself so frequently if it's distressing. This is a SLOW process when you have so little to lose and are so small. I spent 6 months losing 8 pounds!

Also there is no way you are putting on muscle. Women don't build muscle in a deficit, without trying, and you are not lifting.

Thanks ASKyle! MFP gives me 1200 calories but I eat back some of the calories I burn from working out. Most of the days i eat about 1400 calories and 1800 would be more like a "cheat day"...

I had tried weighing my food before but i felt that whenever I had to weigh my foods, i was "restricting too much" because I couldn't see myself having to weigh my food for the rest of my life and i also tend to feel hungry all the time when i did that...so i took the guessing approach on purpose...but maybe you are right and i should just weigh my portion now...

I do not currently belong to a gym becuase I am already paying so much $$$ to attend bootcamp classes. I will look into joining one and perhaps hire a PT to help me get started with weightlifting...(Always felt intimated by all the machines and weights

Thanks again for your encouragement!

All the gyms I've ever joined included a free orientation session with a personal trainer. Some included up to three sessions. I also once took a 6 session workshop with a female trainer and other women designed to get us comfortable with any piece of equipment in any gym and this did work.

I kinda feel bad for men who are new to lifting and feel intimidated as well - it's completely understandable and acceptable to have this feeling as a woman but I imagine less acceptable for men. Also, I could care less how much I lift compared to other people at the gym and I wonder if men compare themselves to others more.