Sorry in advance for my Rant

Fighting4Healthy

In my home it's up to me what my children wear. I am aware of self expression but slutty clothes ain't it.

I agree with the OP. Honestly, if parents decided to not be their kids friends and actually parent that would help a bit.

Sounds like you've got your head on right OP!
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Thanks

Fighting4Healthy

In my home it's up to me what my children wear. I am aware of self expression but slutty clothes ain't it.

I agree with the OP. Honestly, if parents decided to not be their kids friends and actually parent that would help a bit.

Sounds like you've got your head on right OP!

Thanks. Like I said, it is just my opinion. I am not trying to sway others, just exercising my right to have an opinion. lol though some people are hating my opinion. lol I do agree that parents need to stop being the childrens friends. I understand being there for your kids but don't try to be their buddy. I feel it blurs the line between parenting and friendship. Yes my girls may think I am a horrible person when they are teens and not allowed to wear revealing clothing or their pants around their knees, but they will learn that they will get more genuine respect by keeping covered than false respect and more "attention" by showing their skin.

I remember telling my Dad that I hated him because he wouldn't let me wear a belly shirt, and the best thing he ever told me is "You may hate me now but you will RESPECT me no matter how much you think you hate me, and in the future, you will love me and thank me for teaching you that people should pay attention to you for your strengths and smarts, not your body" I didn't understand it until I had a daughter of my own, and I have thanked him. That was another thing, he wasn't afraid to discipline me. He would ground me or kick my butt if I needed it.

If I had stayed with my dad things would have turned out different for me. My mom was the opposite, she let me run wild and do what I wanted. I just feel like I have seen both sides of parenting and I feel that Dad taught me more. lol

dunlunicor

Wow...apparently people of all generations today no longer have the attention span to read a fairly short, simple, and straight-forward paragraph. But good news! They possess the inflated ego to feel the need to announce to the OP and the thread as a whole that they didn't read it. Because we would be waiting on eggshells to hear from them otherwise, you know.

To the OP, I agree whole-heartedly. That said, every generation of kids is stupid. It's what being a kid is. There is always some stupid fad, some major social dysfunction, and lackluster parenting exists in all times and places. We can't see it as kids, because kids are stupid, so the best we can do is get the stupid out of our own kids as fast as possible before they move out and have to be accountable for their own stupid, to society and possibly to the law.

GiGiBeans

Love the profile pic. I'd like to put it in my store's fitting rooms.

Oishii

I think many people are confusing two things: sex and pregnancy

Plenty of young people start having sex young without getting pregnant. They choose to prevent pregnancy via using protection and emergency contraception. As a rule, they have hopes and dreams strong enough that, even in a moment of passion, they wouldn't risk complicating their lives by getting pregnant.

So the best contraception is education, hope and dreams. The rest is just prejudice.

MsPudding

There's a few different issues in the post and mostly they're unrelated.

1. Older generation's disapproval of young generations choice of clothing. None of this is new, since the concept of 'teenagers' was created the older generations have been complaining of their clothes, music and lack of respect. Teenagers haven't changed, it's your perceptions of them as you get older that change.

2. Teen pregnancy. I know it's high in the US and it's high in the UK (the highest in Europe) but I'd suggest for different reasons. In the US my bet is that it's high in areas with inadequate sex education and the culture of abstinence (which absolutely, positively doesn't work). In the UK, where sex education is part of the core curriculum, the problem is more down to lack off opportunities for young people and extremely generous welfare benefits for single parents - if you're a fairly uneducated young girl from a disadvantaged background then the quickest way to get your own place and be independent is to get pregnant.

mattschwartz01

I do not know that this necessarily could be considered the "truth." The media has distorted our viewing lens on the issue of teenage pregnancy. Sociologists and researchers alike, seem to conclude that generally teenage pregnancies in the United States are on a downward trend but vary amongst socio-economic status and classes. We have to be careful about making generalizations based on the distortion of "Reality TV" and seek out reliable, peer-reviewed studies or else we mistakenly state our opinions as fact. Opinions that are stated as fact lead to bad decisions and knee-jerk reactions. Wars have been started over this and bad laws get enacted because an opinion morphed into fact.

oldandhealthier

Wow...apparently people of all generations today no longer have the attention span to read a fairly short, simple, and straight-forward paragraph. But good news! They possess the inflated ego to feel the need to announce to the OP and the thread as a whole that they didn't read it. Because we would be waiting on eggshells to hear from them otherwise, you know.

To the OP, I agree whole-heartedly. That said, every generation of kids is stupid. It's what being a kid is. There is always some stupid fad, some major social dysfunction, and lackluster parenting exists in all times and places. We can't see it as kids, because kids are stupid, so the best we can do is get the stupid out of our own kids as fast as possible before they move out and have to be accountable for their own stupid, to society and possibly to the law.

so true

1princesswarrior

While I don't have children of my own I'll never forget one night when I saw two girls, 15 - 17, in a rough pool room wearing pants around their hips with g-string panties on and their butt cracks and camel toes plus showing.

Everyone in there was staring and making inappropriate comments and these girls were enjoying being disrespected and being called sluts and *kitten*. I don't know anything about how these girls really behaved but they certainly did not portray themselves positively.

I think part of what the OP is saying is that parents need to teach their children self respect, which was something these girls clearly did not have. BTW, my parents would have chained me up before every letting me leave the house like that.

Kamikazeflutterby

There were abstinence only programs in my school. Any "discussion" of condoms were the failure statistics of improperly used condoms. Any questions about contraception, no matter how ridiculous, were not allowed to be answered by teachers. For all I know, Liz from 7th grade biology still thinks you can't get pregnant in a pool or hot tub because the water kills the sperm.

Bring on the Teen Mom shows--maybe real moms will have more realistic discussions about sex with their kids, of either gender.

laurenz2501

If you think that paragraph is too long to read, I pity you.

:drinker: I agree!!! "too long"?? Wow!!


Anyway...

both 16 and pregnant and teen mom have helped in lowering the overall percentage of teenage pregnancy in the US.

I'd be interested in seeing the source of this...

tedrickp

To the OP, I agree whole-heartedly. That said, every generation of kids is stupid. It's what being a kid is. There is always some stupid fad, some major social dysfunction, and lackluster parenting exists in all times and places. We can't see it as kids, because kids are stupid, so the best we can do is get the stupid out of our own kids as fast as possible before they move out and have to be accountable for their own stupid, to society and possibly to the law.

This is hogwash and totally disrespectful to youth IMO.

hookilau

Here's something, for what it's worth. As an average 16 yr old dead head (early 80's), I was gifted a beautiful silver anklet that made a lovely tinkly sound when I walked. My step dad saw/heard me wearing it and exclaimed that I was a *kitten* :noway:

He was *extremely nasty and made me feel ashamed and exclaimed that I was just trying to draw attention to myself eliciting more shame :frown: He explained to me that only *kitten* wore bells that jingled when they walked so that men would know who was loose and decent people would know who to stay away from.

It may make a difference to know that both parents are from Trinidad and while I was born there, I was raised here. You can conclude from this that 'yankee' and 'trini' don't see eye to eye on a great deal of things, including what is appropriate for kids.

WTF?

As a mom of 2, a girl 24 and a boy 17, I will say this.

I pick my battles, carefully.

salladeve

This isn't something new, the fight between parents and kids on what is appropriate to wear has been going on for ages, that is just the way of things.

I was 16 in 1968, I remember having a big HUGE fight with my parents because of the outfit I wanted to wear out with my friends. I had two outfits picked out and they argued about both! Both were very stylish I can assure you.

Low slung bell bottom hip hugger jeans with a tube top (no bra)
White leather mini skirt with white knee high "go go" boots and an off the shoulder peasant blouse.

At the time huge purses were also in style, so I dressed in what they approved of, put my bell bottom jeans and tube top in my purse and out the door I went. lol

The moral to this story is that maybe the parents don't know what their kids are wearing.

Anyway, sounds like to are trying to be the best parent you can, keep up the good work. I've always said (about parenting), we do the best we can with what we know at the time.

nope31

Just here to pass out the condoms.

Who wants some?

labeachgirl

I hate how our world puts on shows like "Teen Mom" and "16 and Pregnant" that encourage teen pregnancy, but then they complain about the "teen pregnancy epidemic". So much of the new generation is disrespectful and low class (if they have any class at all). Teen boys and girls are getting pregnant and still out partying. I was 15 when I got pregnant and 16 when I had my oldest and I will tell you what there was no partying for me, I went to school and I worked because I was on my own and new that I had thought I was mature enough to do adult things then I had to be mature enough to take responsibility for my actions, so I did. But these little girls and boys think that they can just keep on partying like they didn't have kids and the most I can do is pray that they realize that their life is no longer their own. I don't know, I am sorry for ranting and raving, I know I sound crazy, but as I get older I see things that I feel aren't going to help future generations prosper, and it just makes me sad and scared for what the future will hold for me and my future generations.

Actually, there's been a big drop in teen pregnancies and researchers have given a nod to these reality shows as being part of the reason. The teens see that having a baby is no game.

Ophidion

Well, the increase in teen pregnancies largely comes from an ignorance of contraception, which I blame on abstinence only sex education. As for parents letting their child wear what they want, why the hell not? Yeah, you may not like it but it's not up to you, is it?

This. Teen pregnancy, although the rates are decreasing overall, is highest in red states that peddle abstinence-only education and make contraceptives nearly impossible to access.

As for clothing, what one person may find trashy, others may not. As long as their genitals/boobs aren't on display for all to gawk at, let them wear what they wish!

QFT

Ophidion

Just here to pass out the condoms.

Who wants some?

gimme gimme!!

toaster6

If you think that paragraph is too long to read, I pity you.

:drinker: I agree!!! "too long"?? Wow!!


Anyway...

both 16 and pregnant and teen mom have helped in lowering the overall percentage of teenage pregnancy in the US.

I'd be interested in seeing the source of this...

Well, teen pregnancy is down according to the CDC.
http://www.cdc.gov/teenpregnancy/aboutteenpreg.htm

And there have been a couple of polls taken that seem to point to shows like Teen Mom help deter teen pregnancies.
http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Society/2010/1221/A-force-behind-the-lower-teen-birthrate-MTV-s-16-and-Pregnant
^^ That article links to some studies and surveys.

cherryd69

2. Teen pregnancy. I know it's high in the US and it's high in the UK (the highest in Europe) but I'd suggest for different reasons. In the US my bet is that it's high in areas with inadequate sex education and the culture of abstinence (which absolutely, positively doesn't work). In the UK, where sex education is part of the core curriculum, the problem is more down to lack off opportunities for young people and extremely generous welfare benefits for single parents - if you're a fairly uneducated young girl from a disadvantaged background then the quickest way to get your own place and be independent is to get pregnant.

See i was a teen parent, and yes i did get a house, but that was due to overcrowding at my mum & dads house, as for extremely generous welfare... sorry but this made me laugh...

When i had my daughter i had to come out of work for 6 months due to being a c-section, id previously done 2years working for an agency, as we all should know, most agencys dont offer maternity leave and holiday pay (i know i didnt get it 14years ago thats for sure) so i had to claim income support, yes my rent and council tax was payed, but i had to live on £30 a week as i was under 18 and it was then called a 'bridging allowance' £30 per week when you have to feed/clothe yourself and a baby isnt 'generous' its crap and hard going, i was with my daughters father, but we wernt living together. I had to make the decision to move him in, which then resulted in the rent and council tax not being payed and my 'bridging allowance' being stoped. We had to manage on his minimum wage for 6 months until i could return to work.

Unless your dishonest, you get diddly squat.


eta: most parents try and dress their kids respectfully....but after a certain age you have to let them have their own choice. Also, kids arnt stupid, never have been never will be.... i used to go out in jeans and get changed at a mates house into skimpy clothes, even when i was caught a few times this didnt deter me.