Frustrated with my 4 yr old! Advice needed!!

jkohan

She's 4--she is not eating for any other reason than she IS hungry and growing AND burning more calories standing still than we probably could after doing 30 min on the elliptical..LOL

Feed her and continue giving her healthy choices--you are doing awesome with that! It's so hard not to project our own issues with food onto our children--it's a battle I struggle with every day too (I have a 4 year old, as well).

lotusfromthemud

When I consulted a nutritionist, here was her advice: "you need to re-learn to eat like a four year old." No kidding, this is exactly the first thing she said to me, right before "eat food that would spoil" and some other things. That, however, was her first bit of advice.

Seriously, your daughter is eating because she's hungry, and stopping when she's full. With healthy food choices (big kudos to you there) her little fabulous metabolism is burning through that food quickly, and then she's hungry for more. The food you describe her eating in those three hours totals up to maybe 150 calories. That's not a lot of food, and that calorie estimate is generous, as I'm assuming it was a small portion of baby carrots and a large banana.

Please, please be careful projecting your struggles on to her. (I say this not from a place of judging, but as the adult child of a chronically disordered eater, and I have struggled with disordered eating my whole life due to her fears about my perceived "baby fat" and the like.) :flowerforyou:

Laceylala

My almost 4 year old daughter is the same way. Eats breakfast, snack, lunch and snack again...and then on the way home from school she eats whats left of her lunch in the car. While I make dinner she asks to have a snack and depending on how much she ate in the car I will give something to her or not as I want her to eat her dinner.
Then after dinner, she will have sometimes up to three or four more snacks. It truly amazes me how much she eats. Then I remember that she is also very tall for her age and doesn't walk at all. Runs everywhere. And she could stand to gain some weight as the moment she puts any on, she grows up again!

I worry about her snacking all the time as in the 7th grade I gained a lot of weight and have remained heavy since then...but I also remember that she is very active and rarely eats anything unhealthy for her so I let her have something if she says she's hungry.
The "rule" at our house is that if she is still hungry she has to have a fruit or a veggie snack first, and then can have something like Pirate Booty popcorn or a cheese, etc. if she finishes it. Part of this is because she's got some mild food allergies, but part of it is to let me know if she is really hungry or not. I know if she takes and eats the fruit or veggie that she is really hungry. If she doesn't and maybe plays with it...then yeah, no snacks afterwards. It works quite well for us. And in fact, my husband and I recently started following the rule ourselves.

Good luck!

DawnOf1969

Tonight before bed I tried explaining to her that we eat to get energy and not just because food tastes good. That food helps us to grow and be healthy. Sometimes it is okay to have a little junk food, but if we too much we can become fat and unhealthy.

It sounds like you are giving her fruits and veggies. When did fruits and veggies become "'junk food"?

noneya2010

Wait....I think your daughter and my 4-year old son are twins separated at birth!! My son went through a phase (a couple months ago) where he was doing this and constantly eating. He was even going into the pantry and just helping himself to whatever he wanted and figured out how to make popcorn!! I think some of it comes from their growth toward independence and wanting to make some choices. I am not kidding -- the kid was always eating. Even like your daughter, right after a meal, he would eat. Then he'd want to eat several more times after that. It started to really concern me because he is pretty solid for his age! I did take him to his 4-year physical and talked to the dr. about this. Although my son is at the 98 percentile for height/weight, the dr. said this was perfectly normal and I should not be alarmed and to just watch that he's eating healthy things and getting some exercise.

What happened was I started seeing that at meal times, he was not really eating all that much and then he got where he did not want to eat at a meal time. Well of course not -- he was eating when ever he wanted to. So I began cutting out the junkier type foods and offering him choices of carrots with ranch, or a cut up apple, grapes, bannana or cheese. And I also started making him eat more at mealtimes -- even if that means I have to feed him. If he did not eat his meal, I would wrap it up, put it in the fridge and next time he claims to be hungry - well, here is your dinner!! That seemed to do the trick and the whole "I'm hungry" business has pretty much ceased.

I buy the Green Giant single, frozen veggies (cauliflower and cheese sauce and the brocoli and cheese sauce) and my son loves these. So when he says he's hungry, he knows he can choose one of those too and he loves to put it in the microwave and do it himself.

I also noticed that the more I got frustrated with him about eating constantly, the more he did it. When I finally started paying attention to what he was eating at mealtimes and offering healthy snacks when hungry, it took my focus of him eating all the time and then he just quit telling me that constantly and is back on a pretty normal pattern.

I think they do go through growing phases too where they are hungrier or more active. My 4-yo can put away an adult sized serving of something. Especially meat! He loves meat! But he also eats everything else from salad to brocoli and he is very active.

msciccone1

Tonight before bed I tried explaining to her that we eat to get energy and not just because food tastes good. That food helps us to grow and be healthy. Sometimes it is okay to have a little junk food, but if we too much we can become fat and unhealthy.

It sounds like you are giving her fruits and veggies. When did fruits and veggies become "'junk food"?

I agree with above, I didn't see one instance of junk food. My soon to be 4 year old is such a picky eater but when she is growing through growth spurts she will eat like there is no tomorrow...literally every 30 minutes and she will get a little cheeky and then stretch and everyone will say she is too thin. Please don't tell her to fill up on water because at that age they burn calories like crazy. They CANNOT stay still...wish we were like that, haha.

SwissTracey

I didn't read all the responses but it sounds to me like she is bored. I know my kids will eat more one day then the next. but when my son isn't doing something fun gets bored and wants to eat or drink. Once you know that they are full I would try to distract her with something fun to do away from the kitchen. I'm sure as her Mother who has raised her all this time you have an educated idea of how much food she needs. I know as a mother that you wouldn't want her to be hungry and will feed her enough, but you don't want to feed her when she is just eating to fill the time.

Laceylala

Wait....I think your daughter and my 4-year old son are twins separated at birth!! My son went through a phase (a couple months ago) where he was doing this and constantly eating. He was even going into the pantry and just helping himself to whatever he wanted and figured out how to make popcorn!! I think some of it comes from their growth toward independence and wanting to make some choices. I am not kidding -- the kid was always eating. Even like your daughter, right after a meal, he would eat. Then he'd want to eat several more times after that. It started to really concern me because he is pretty solid for his age! I did take him to his 4-year physical and talked to the dr. about this. Although my son is at the 98 percentile for height/weight, the dr. said this was perfectly normal and I should not be alarmed and to just watch that he's eating healthy things and getting some exercise.

What happened was I started seeing that at meal times, he was not really eating all that much and then he got where he did not want to eat at a meal time. Well of course not -- he was eating when ever he wanted to. So I began cutting out the junkier type foods and offering him choices of carrots with ranch, or a cut up apple, grapes, bannana or cheese. And I also started making him eat more at mealtimes -- even if that means I have to feed him. If he did not eat his meal, I would wrap it up, put it in the fridge and next time he claims to be hungry - well, here is your dinner!! That seemed to do the trick and the whole "I'm hungry" business has pretty much ceased.

I buy the Green Giant single, frozen veggies (cauliflower and cheese sauce and the brocoli and cheese sauce) and my son loves these. So when he says he's hungry, he knows he can choose one of those too and he loves to put it in the microwave and do it himself.

I also noticed that the more I got frustrated with him about eating constantly, the more he did it. When I finally started paying attention to what he was eating at mealtimes and offering healthy snacks when hungry, it took my focus of him eating all the time and then he just quit telling me that constantly and is back on a pretty normal pattern.

I think they do go through growing phases too where they are hungrier or more active. My 4-yo can put away an adult sized serving of something. Especially meat! He loves meat! But he also eats everything else from salad to brocoli and he is very active.

I too do this. If my daughter doesn't want to eat much of her dinner and is in one of her snacking at night phases, I make sure I either wrap up the plate and put it out for her when she asks for a snack or make her eat more at dinner. i tell her if she doesn't eat more of her dinner then no snacking that night. It can be some major work, but I don't want to waste a meal like that either simply because she isn't in the mood for it!

ican♥and♥iwill

Tonight before bed I tried explaining to her that we eat to get energy and not just because food tastes good. That food helps us to grow and be healthy. Sometimes it is okay to have a little junk food, but if we too much we can become fat and unhealthy.

It sounds like you are giving her fruits and veggies. When did fruits and veggies become "'junk food"?

I agree with above, I didn't see one instance of junk food. My soon to be 4 year old is such a picky eater but when she is growing through growth spurts she will eat like there is no tomorrow...literally every 30 minutes and she will get a little cheeky and then stretch and everyone will say she is too thin. Please don't tell her to fill up on water because at that age they burn calories like crazy. They CANNOT stay still...wish we were like that, haha.

She kept asking for chips that she saw sitting in the cabinet. Maybe I should have added, that I thought she kept asking for food because of THIS, she wanted the chips, rather then being hungry. Hence, eating when she really isn't hungry.

DawnOf1969

May I ask what you fed her for dinner? you just said something quick and easy.

RoadDog

Get her some protein.

yummymummyof3

Hi there!

Contrary to the popular opinions of others..I think you made the right choice! I am the mother of 3 little girls (ages 7, 5 and 2) and I totally understand the constant whining and complaining of "Mom I am Hungry!"...most commonly after school. I think what is important is that You set a good example by providing healthy snack options...but also that your daughter knows her limits! If you are making healthy lifestyle choices for yourself...why should they be different for her? Obviously you want her to be strong and healthy...so why not instill those good choices in her now? After dinner and ONE moderate snack...eating should be done until breakfast!
(This is just my opinion...and how I choose to raisee my daaughters)
Good luck!

DawnOf1969

I agree with the comment about giving her more protein. 1/2 a peach is only about 35 calories, and its carbs. 1/2 a banana is only about 50 calories, and it's carbs. Not sure what she had for dinner at this point, but growing toddlers/preschoolers need calories to keep up with the calories they expend just growing not to mention what they burn by running around and playing.

Pre-school children can be very active, and are learning, growing and developing fast. The Estimated Average Requirements for boys aged four to six years is 1715 cal per day, and for girls 1545 per day.