225 days in, 10lbs lost

allunits

I lost the 10lbs during the first 100 days at a rate of about a pound for every 10 days (5'4, started at 199, ~1,400 calories a day). I was happy with the loss rate and, over 3 months in, I thought I was done bingeing.

My binges happen sporadically and mostly in the evening, following a couple of delightful hours spent cooking things that I love. I do not eat "bad" foods, just large quantities of good stuff: sauces, creams, and breads are my weak spot. Sweets and junk food have little hold on me, but give me green string beans in cream sauce and I can eat a whole pot of it. In any case, after the first 100 days of tracking ~1,400cals a day I thought, "This is it, I'm doing it! Holy cow!"

Then I got complacent and started eyeballing and eating a lot more bread and butter and cooking more again. The truth is, it's really not that hard to eat 2,000-3,000 cals a day. It's not hard to eat 5,000 cals a day without eating any of the things that people normally think overweight people eat. You can have beautiful family dinners full of salads and vegetables and proteins and still overeat by a lot. For me, one day turned into one weekend, into a month, into 100 more days. I gained back 4lbs and saw that I am not "cured" at all. I let myself get discouraged that I had "only" lost 10lbs in 100 days.

But something I did not do was stop coming to MFP. Some days it was just to log in so that I wouldn't lose my streak. Some days it was to lurk in Success Stories. Some days I logged. Some days I forgot and had to reset my count. But a few days ago I started up again. I lost the 4lbs and am ready to keep going down again.

Sometimes I read success stories of people who lost 60lbs in 10 months and they went from looking the way I look now to being really fit and muscular and feeling like they conquered it. And I also think that their life changes are excellent predictors for continued success and their stories inspire me. But that is not my story. Maybe not yet or maybe it will never be my story. Maybe it will take me 4-5 years to lose 50lbs. I have to accept that I need to keep trudging on and that if I just kept eating a balanced, reasonable diet, I will definitely lose the weight. There's A LOT of room between bingeing and being perfect. It may feel much more hopeful to go for the most loss, best exercise, super fitness, fast scale changes (and then crash and burn, maybe?). It is also easy to indulge and overeat. But this grey area, this slow creep toward a far-away goal, with little changes and ups and downs, with false starts and inexplicable fluctuation- this is hard, and it's hard for me, too.

I am inspired by the people who can do the hard, hard work of daily weightlifting and running and pushing their bodies hard. The sense possibility in the story of someone who lost 60lbs in 10 months or 20 months is incredibly motivating. But what sustains me every day is the trust that this grey, dull, slow crawl will also work if I just do it. I have to remind myself this as I start again. If I lose another 10lbs in the next 100 days, I will have lost 20lbs this year and I will be so glad.

LosingItForGood13

yes slow and steady is better than fast and quick when it comes to weight loss