The more I lose, the more judgmental I am

vinerie

Like many around here, I followed the "ignorance-is-bliss" mantra when I was heavier. I avoided mirrors, and pretty much avoided looking at myself in general. Now that I've lost, I can see how far I've come in pictures, which is really great. But I am also looking at myself more--in the mirror, in the shower, etc. and I've found that it's kind of depressing. I notice fat and it can be a downer. Sometimes I miss not noticing.

I take pictures and measurements regularly, and looking at my before-and-afters is a huge motivator. I suppose I'm just venting, but it is kind of ironic, how losing weight successfully can also manifest disappointment when you finally look at your problem areas

lizzocat

I definitely have this issue- when I was bigger, I wouldn't care about what I wore as long as it 'fit' and just ignored myself because I was big overall, the closer I get to my goal, the more I notice parts of me that I dislike, since me as a whole isn't that bad now. It's hard, but I look at the plus side, the positives of how far i've come and where i am, and try not to compare myself to others.

jaga13

I hadn't thought about this before, but I think I'm in the same camp. I certainly knew I was overweight but could live in a little bit of denial. Now I've lost 30 lbs and am close to goal, but still see a "big" stomach, although my clothes are falling off. I wish I had legitimate "before" pictures.

WickedPineapple

I think a lot of it has to do with new-found leanness. I also didn't really notice my fat in the past because the fat was everywhere. Now, the fat that's there has areas of leanness right next to it, which just kind of highlights the fatty areas. Personally, this is especially true around my stomach. I have these nice lean, muscular sides on either side of a soft stomach. You have to kind of avoid this kind of thinking. Just focus on your goals and what you've accomplished. Perfection isn't the goal (or it shouldn't be, anyway). Also, you might want to cut down on the mirror gazing if you're looking at yourself negatively.

whmscll

I look in the mirror and see a lot of things that can still be improved (I am only 7 pounds from goal). Then I think how thankful I am to be healthy, that my legs, even though not as shapely as I would wish, take me anywhere I want to go. My body is strong and healthy and looks pretty good now in clothes, so I'll take it!

North44

I go back and forth with this. Sometimes I feel like I look great, and then the next moment I'm nitpicking all the imperfect bits and feeling "fat." It's maddening. I spend more time in general thinking about it than I did when I really was fat, lol.

Suzley

I was thinking about this on my walk this evening! I used to ignore how big I was .... I really convinced myself it was temporary, (20 years?!!!) that I would lose the weight whenever I wanted, that it wasn't that bad. What tipped me over was I got a sore rash where my legs rubbed together - yes ugh! So I weighed myself and got a massive shock! Now that I have lost a couple of stone, I feel fatter than before!! Crazy I know! But I feel like I'm wearing a fat suit! I'm so aware of my body it's weird! I feel like I won't get back to "normal" until I have lost another 3 stone. But that was never normal for me anyway!!!! I am a rational grown up so why am I being such a weirdo about this??? Thanks for letting me rant! Have a great evening xx

senecarr

Welcome to the Dunning-Kruger effect applied to body weight.

potadre

I can relate to this, I've never liked the shape of my body and where fat tends to go, and always kind of assumed that if I lost enough weight I'd be happy with everything. Turns out to not be not the case, I'm 5'6" and got down to 124lbs a couple months ago and still am not happy with my shape, I just feel like a thinner version of the body I didn't like before. I know part of it is that I need to work more on toning and exercise and not just calorie restriction, and it's possible that perhaps I have some mild body dysmorphia, but like so many other things, sometimes you get the thing that you think is going to make you so much happier and then realize it doesn't make as big a difference as you thought...or something? Anyway, it definitely does help to consciously focus on the positive benefits and do what feels healthiest for you, and continue to try to do everything you can to love and accept yourself and expend mental energy on things that are ultimately meaningful to you, whatever that may be.

vinerie

North44 wrote: »

I spend more time in general thinking about it than I did when I really was fat, lol.

This whole journey definitely takes up a lot of my thinking! I definitely relate to that!

cj94404

At this point in my life, just having a healthy, functioning body is enough. Even "flawless" figures have challenges. Try to stop analyzing too much.

kthompson601

I can totally relate to this. I've lost such a great amount of weight and really improved my health, but I still have a long way to go. I find I'm constantly looking at myself, evaluating my arms and my calves, feeling my gut and love handles. I hate how judgmental of my body I've become. And it's not just my own body--I find I'm always evaluating everyone around me too. "Am I bigger than her? What do her arms look like? Did I have rolls like that--do I still have rolls like that?" That is one aspect of my weight loss journey that I really despise. I used to be oblivious to my weight, and that of others, but now I feel like I'm constantly judging myself and everyone around me. It's been difficult.