Finding Identity With a Changing Body

liv_namaste

Does anyone else struggle with self esteem when it comes to losing weight? I don't mean low self esteem from feeling like I need to lose weight. I'm talking about the loss of identity when the weight actually starts to come off.

My dad and I were talking about this the other day. We have both been labeled as "big boned" and identify with being larger people. It is part of our identity and who we are. Sometimes I feel like if I try to change even one thing about me, even if it is a good change, that feels like I don't like myself the way I am now. There is nothing wrong with the weight I'm at, I just want to live longer and be healthier!

Then how do you emotionally justify wanting to change yourself and love yourself as you are currently?

Recently, some of my weight has finally started to come off (thank goodness!). My clothes are fitting a little looser, my belly looking a bit smaller, swimsuits are becoming a friend, but some days I just don't feel like myself. My identity is changing! I'm no longer the woman I was a few months ago, which is good! But sometimes I still miss my old self.

DuckReconMajor

I was skinny until i put on over 50 lb in high school. Since then I've been the bigger/fat guy in most groups, but I've always tolerated it, never "embraced" it. I miss being skinny and I've wanted to return to that state for years, but haven't had the drive and the tools to pull it off until now.

Will I face this when I get to my goal weight? It's possible, but I hope not.

Keith3481

I went through this after about quite a bit of weight loss. I woke up one morning and didn't recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror. Take a look at my photos. My wife started losing weight too so we both shrank before and after.







It was confusing for awhile until I got used to the new normal. It took me about 6 weeks for my mind to catch up with body, at which point I've lost about 10 more so another change is coming my way I guess. I think what helped me get through it was I was focused on staying the course, with the final goal weight in mind. I know I'm on the right path, I have the right plan to get there, and I have the discipline to make it work so I focused on the journey instead of the visual changes. Fortunately, I have a lot of support from my friends and family, too, encouraging me as I continue so that helps as well. So in summary, stick to the path
and don't worry about the self-image change. You'll eventually love your new self too.

CJisinShape

liv_namaste wrote: »

Does anyone else struggle with self esteem when it comes to losing weight? I don't mean low self esteem from feeling like I need to lose weight. I'm talking about the loss of identity when the weight actually starts to come off.

My dad and I were talking about this the other day. We have both been labeled as "big boned" and identify with being larger people. It is part of our identity and who we are. Sometimes I feel like if I try to change even one thing about me, even if it is a good change, that feels like I don't like myself the way I am now. There is nothing wrong with the weight I'm at, I just want to live longer and be healthier!

Then how do you emotionally justify wanting to change yourself and love yourself as you are currently?

Recently, some of my weight has finally started to come off (thank goodness!). My clothes are fitting a little looser, my belly looking a bit smaller, swimsuits are becoming a friend, but some days I just don't feel like myself. My identity is changing! I'm no longer the woman I was a few months ago, which is good! But sometimes I still miss my old self.

Faith in God helps me to not be bothered so much with identity issues.

I know some people think who they ARE is the body they inhabit (its gender, race, size, age), or what they do for a living, political/national, physical limitations, etc.

My identity comes from Christ - I'm an heir, a child of the Most High God. This is the "Who" I identify with, more than my sex, race, age, etc.

I'm 131 lbs in my mind. It's how I see myself because that's how I feel. I'm CURRENTLY heavier than that.

How do I reconcile loving myself and wanting to improve myself?

Again, faith helps. David said that he was fearfully and wonderfully made [by God]. I believe that too, so I can love the me I am now. The Bible also says that God can bring us from "glory to glory." - from one level of success to another, so it's ok to improve yourself while being content with yourself. We live, we breathe, we love. All a blessing. And we improve. A blessing also!

Best wishes!

Cortneyrenee04

Yes... I have no idea who the lady in the mirror is now! It's a total mind game. I've changed so much and even though it's been over the course of 2 years, I'm still having troubles with it.

I feel exposed in public and have no self confidence even though I know I look amazing! It's a hard place to be.

saraonly9913

You two look amazing.

HannaSusi

By loving WHO you are, not HOW you are. Inside, you're always you. You don't have to say bad things to your heavier self even if you want to improve your health and lose weight. You love yourself currently enough to want to take good care of your body by making healthier choices in your life. I don't think your previous, current and future self negate each other, they are all you and your journey.

If you feel like you're losing something to identify with (your physical size), you could try to find something new to replace it with. For example, if you're going to the gym, you're one of those people who love gym If you've found some other sports you enjoy (biking, walking, swimming etc.), you're one of them. Or maybe you're one of those people who buy fresh produce from the store and cook healthy food with it?

And ultimately, you are one of us: taking care of yourself through all these physical and emotional bumps, and getting healthier and fitter in the process