Anyone else trying to lose weight with anxiety/perfectionism?
kiela64
Posts: 1,447 Member
I'm finding that trying to change my habits is triggering a lot of my anxiety! I am trying to get to the gym, but the more I want to the less I go because I worry about it so much! It's extremely frustrating to want something and feel very afraid or unable. Does anyone else have this experience, or any suggestions?
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I have anxiety and it sucks. A lot of things can be scary for many reasons, but when it comes down to it you just got to shut down the catastrophic/negative thoughts and force yourself to do what you need to do (like going to the gym). Also the more you force yourself into uncomfortable situations for yourself the easier they will become, especially if you make it a part of your routine. Eventually you will feel anxious about not going to the gym because you are so used to doing it every day or whatever.0
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Exercising and improving your diet will help with the anxiety, so take the first step and it will get easier. Break the cycle!
I also deal with being a perfectionist which is why it took so long to get started on logging my food, something i've wanted to do for a long time. But just remember that doing something good 80% correctly is 1000x better than doing nothing at all 100% correctly.0 -
I have bad anxiety issues in general but now that I'm working on myself it's gotten bad. I have a huge fear of eating everything in the house so when we have any junk food I get nervous walking into the kitchen. im good at staying away from it or having very small amounts but idk, I'm always afraid ill lose my self control. also if I skip a few workouts I can physically feel my muscles shrinking. my hubby says it's in my head but I feel it! also when I don't work out I get really tense and grumpy becase I don't want to slip back into my old habits. I wish I had done advice, I just wanted to tell you your not alone, I understand how frustrating it is0
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I have anxiety too, so I can relate a lot. Do you have any smaller gyms in your area? I used to be intimidated by things like the Y and other big gyms, so I was scared of joining any gym. Now I found a smaller gym, and I'm happy there. We have about a half dozen people in a class and it makes it where I don't feel crowded/overwhelmed but not too small to be awkward for me. Now that I am used to going there and more comfortable with who is usually there, it is a lot easier for me. I think part of it is that whole 'exercise is a great way to manage anxiety' thing that my therapist has always told me.0
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I have anxiety. For me it took getting used a routine. For example, I remember the first time I ran outdoors I was so self conscious. I was convinced everyone was staring at me. It didn't take long for those feelings to go away.
I don't currently belong to a gym but I remember how nervous I was before going. After a while it just went away. I went so often that I no longer thought of others.
My advice might be crappy ("go do stuff a lot, over and over!") but it worked for me. Best of luck!
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Yea-anxiety is a tough one to deal with. Just remember that the more you give into it-the worse it is. Just keep at it. I was having straight up panic attacks. Between my shrink and repetition it had gotten MUCH better.0
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I have anxiety. For me it took getting used a routine. For example, I remember the first time I ran outdoors I was so self conscious. I was convinced everyone was staring at me. It didn't take long for those feelings to go away.
I don't currently belong to a gym but I remember how nervous I was before going. After a while it just went away. I went so often that I no longer thought of others.
My advice might be crappy ("go do stuff a lot, over and over!") but it worked for me. Best of luck!
I have social anxiety and ran outside today for the first time - I felt exactly the way you did! I'm hoping it improves quickly for me too. 0 -
I am in the same boat with the anxiety issues0
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noobletmcnugget wrote: »
I have social anxiety and ran outside today for the first time - I felt exactly the way you did! I'm hoping it improves quickly for me too.
To give you a timeline It probably took about two weeks for me to just walk out the door without thinking. Good luck to you & keep us posted!0 -
I too suffer from anxiety. I couldn't imagine going to a gym, so I didn't. I found a nice little lake by my house and started walking around it every day. Then I started, and finished C25k at that same lake. I still run around the lake most days but I've started to venture into other areas. I even took my first yoga class last week, and loved it! Fresh air, sunshine, eating better and exercise has made a huge difference in my anxiety and depression. I feel better now that I ever did on any medication. Baby steps, you can do this!0
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I really want to thank everyone that posted here! I'm really glad I'm not alone (though it's too bad - anxiety sucks - you know what I mean). Just reading some of these comments this afternoon when I was feeling really bad about being too scared to go to the gym helped me first feel like it was okay, then feel like I could tackle it. I didn't do a big workout (the pool was too busy for me, unfortunately I can't share a lane without freaking out). But I got there & I did something I think you're right:
My advice might be crappy ("go do stuff a lot, over and over!") but it worked for me. Best of luck!Yea-anxiety is a tough one to deal with. Just remember that the more you give into it-the worse it is. Just keep at it. I was having straight up panic attacks. Between my shrink and repetition it had gotten MUCH better.
Continuing to try will probably make it all easier.0 -
annaheyoolay wrote: »I too suffer from anxiety. I couldn't imagine going to a gym, so I didn't. I found a nice little lake by my house and started walking around it every day. Then I started, and finished C25k at that same lake. I still run around the lake most days but I've started to venture into other areas. I even took my first yoga class last week, and loved it! Fresh air, sunshine, eating better and exercise has made a huge difference in my anxiety and depression. I feel better now that I ever did on any medication. Baby steps, you can do this!
I absolutely love walking outside, and it's my favourite thing that doesn't involve a gym! Unfortunately I hurt my knee and I'm limited to short bits of walking. I did probably my max of walking today (~20 minutes) and it was awesome. Thank you! 0 -
You did it! Nice job!! 0
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Um, YES. My fears/worries consume me. It really manifests into overanalyzing,which I am doing right now in fact. (I should be getting ready for work.) I look at my nutrition charts obsessively and am really hard on myself when I fail. The fear of failing really prevents me from getting started on a lot of things
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Um, YES. My fears/worries consume me. It really manifests into overanalyzing,which I am doing right now in fact. (I should be getting ready for work.) I look at my nutrition charts obsessively and am really hard on myself when I fail. The fear of failing really prevents me from getting started on a lot of things
Same. If I'm over my calorie goal I keep thinking "that's it, I failed, I'm a failure, etc." I'm really trying to think in terms of one of the comments here:DuckReconMajor wrote: »Exercising and improving your diet will help with the anxiety, so take the first step and it will get easier. Break the cycle!
I also deal with being a perfectionist which is why it took so long to get started on logging my food, something i've wanted to do for a long time. But just remember that doing something good 80% correctly is 1000x better than doing nothing at all 100% correctly.
For some reason that's some really hard logic for my brain to wrap itself around.
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This is a great thread. Feels good to know that I'm not alone in dealing with this as well.0
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same. but actually the process of losing 100 pounds and adding in more and different exercise has helped me overcome much of my anxiety and its helped me manage my perfection tendencies in other areas. and SO MUCH OF THIS "doing something good 80% correctly is 1000x better than doing nothing at all 100% correctly."0
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Yes, me.
Small steps. First thing I did was start walking and logging my food. That's it - no structured exercise and nothing too overwhelming.
Then I started yoga and weighing my food - but still only fussing with calories.
Then I started paying attention my macros and added in some dumbbell work.
Kept tracking, and then joined a gym (8 months into it), transitioned to free weights, kept yoga and walking.
You don't have to do everything at once. Get one new habit until control at a time.0 -
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I have Asperger's and social anxiety. The trick is to try and make it work for you. Since I can get routinized, I work to set exercise and logging routines. It also helps to remember that failure is not a terrible thing (a huge problem for me). Failure is learning. If you're not failing at least sometimes, then you're probably not setting your goals high enough. I personally have found that a good sweat is about the best remedy for my anxiety. Going out into the garage and doing an insanity routine drives everything else out of my mind and when I'm done, I feel a lot more relaxed and in control.0
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DuckReconMajor wrote: »
You say that as if anxiety and perfectionism is based on logic. It's not.
I also have an anxiety disorder and O.C.D. I struggle with this a ton. I deal with thoughts of having to do it perfect because otherwise i'd might as well not try.
On one hand it's helped me reach my goals because once i decided to do it that was that (including never cheating on my diet or exercise), but on the other it causes me anxiety to maintain my physique. I feel this huge pressure of all the hard work i've put in and feelings of being a failure for missing even one workout.
It's something i've worked on through meditation, personal growth, and understanding my psychology. I'm able to slowly and more surely walk in the grey. It's difficult, but i am doing it. Learning to let things go, lower your standards for others and yourself, and so on. I cannot tell you how to do this for yourself, but i'd suggest something like shadow work to understand why you are the way you are and why you hold your specific perspective.
My main point is, try and work on this NOW. Do not think that reaching your goal will help. It wont. You will never be good enough for yourself, you will always be a failure to yourself, and no amount of hard work will change that until you change your psychology. The ideal you set is too high, and it's unattainable. (damned if i didn't try and try and try) It's exhausting to live a life like this, so the only option is to make the decision to change. Or dont.0 -
PinkDeerBoy wrote: »I have anxiety too, so I can relate a lot. Do you have any smaller gyms in your area? I used to be intimidated by things like the Y and other big gyms, so I was scared of joining any gym. Now I found a smaller gym, and I'm happy there. We have about a half dozen people in a class and it makes it where I don't feel crowded/overwhelmed but not too small to be awkward for me. Now that I am used to going there and more comfortable with who is usually there, it is a lot easier for me. I think part of it is that whole 'exercise is a great way to manage anxiety' thing that my therapist has always told me.
Smaller gyms may seem too expensive, but it is SO worth it! Way less intimidating and you will actually go! Even better, make a couple friends there so you are even more encouraged to keep going!0 -
same. but actually the process of losing 100 pounds and adding in more and different exercise has helped me overcome much of my anxiety and its helped me manage my perfection tendencies in other areas. and SO MUCH OF THIS "doing something good 80% correctly is 1000x better than doing nothing at all 100% correctly."
Wow, congrats! That's really great to hear 0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »Yes, me.
Small steps. First thing I did was start walking and logging my food. That's it - no structured exercise and nothing too overwhelming.
Then I started yoga and weighing my food - but still only fussing with calories.
Then I started paying attention my macros and added in some dumbbell work.
Kept tracking, and then joined a gym (8 months into it), transitioned to free weights, kept yoga and walking.
You don't have to do everything at once. Get one new habit until control at a time.
That is one of my biggest struggles. I try to do everything at once "I'll wake up at 6 every day and work out and write a book and read all the time and pick up the guitar again and and and...." until it all gets to much and I just Stop. Everything. And hide.
You did it so well, I'm really impressed. I need to remember this!grimendale wrote: »I have Asperger's and social anxiety. The trick is to try and make it work for you. Since I can get routinized, I work to set exercise and logging routines. It also helps to remember that failure is not a terrible thing (a huge problem for me). Failure is learning. If you're not failing at least sometimes, then you're probably not setting your goals high enough. I personally have found that a good sweat is about the best remedy for my anxiety. Going out into the garage and doing an insanity routine drives everything else out of my mind and when I'm done, I feel a lot more relaxed and in control.
I feel the same way about a good workout! The anxiety likes to stop me from getting there, from getting started. But once I start and keep going I feel really great. That "in control" feeling is the best!
I have such a hard time believing failure isn't the end of the world, but it isn't, it really isn't. That's great you have your own space to work out! There isn't really a "work out" space in my home, unfortunately.0 -
Anxiety sucks. There are so many of us out there!
Sometimes when I am having a bad anxiety attack and feel like I can't exercise, it actually makes me really angry. I've learned to use that anger to say "eff you anxiety", put my shoes on and get outside for a run. I'm too busy thinking about other things. I just make sure to bring my Ativan and my phone just in case
Having an active life has also helped keep my anxiety at bay.
I tend to stick with solitary exercise like running and cycling because I don't like to be in groups. As well as having social anxiety, my attacks manifest in.....uh....GI problems. If I'm out for a run and have to duck into a bush, I'd rather not be with a friend at the time
I've also learned a few coping mechanisms when I can feel an attack coming on - pressure points, visualization, etc. They help immensely.
Keep at it! I agree with other posters who'v said take it one thing at a time and don't overwhelm yourself0 -
Anxiety sucks. There are so many of us out there!
Sometimes when I am having a bad anxiety attack and feel like I can't exercise, it actually makes me really angry. I've learned to use that anger to say "eff you anxiety", put my shoes on and get outside for a run. I'm too busy thinking about other things. I just make sure to bring my Ativan and my phone just in case Having an active life has also helped keep my anxiety at bay.
I tend to stick with solitary exercise like running and cycling because I don't like to be in groups. As well as having social anxiety, my attacks manifest in.....uh....GI problems. If I'm out for a run and have to duck into a bush, I'd rather not be with a friend at the time
I've also learned a few coping mechanisms when I can feel an attack coming on - pressure points, visualization, etc. They help immensely.
Keep at it! I agree with other posters who'v said take it one thing at a time and don't overwhelm yourself
I get so angry too! What sucks is when I get really angry about it, but 2-3 hours later and it's after dark so I can't go out. But when it happens at the right time, and I can go out and do something, that's great.
Oh man, nervous stomach stuff is the worst. The other day I thought "I can do 2 doctor's appointments and hang out with friends after no problem" and my stomach said "nope" and I had to get my dad to come get me
life is embarrassing. I definitely need to learn some coping mechanisms, I should look that stuff up. 0 -
I have anxiety and I'm also a perfectionist. Bad combination. I try to take it day by day and not beat myself up if I stumble. Best thing for my anxiety is going out for a walk. It's so calming putting music on and just walk. Or I get in an early morning walk and enjoy the sounds of nature.0
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I have social anxiety and agoraphobia. I spent 7 years basically locked in my house. It took multiple last minute cancellations before I could even make it to an appointment. I wouldn't sleep for days leading up to it.
I was ashamed of my weight and how bad I let it get. I started just cutting out fast food and pop, which was fairly easy because due to the anxiety I wasn't the one going out to buy it anyway. As time has gone on things have gotten better for me, I go with my Mom and do all my own groceries (I don't drive, otherwise I could go on my own). I don't do it without anxiety, but knowing that I am buying healthy foods I really don't care if people look in my cart. I never would have thought even two years ago that I would be able to have that kind of attitude.
As for exercise, I take my dog for walks around my neighbourhood every so often (this is still really hard for me so I don't always get to do it). Mostly I do exercise in my house. I walk the hallways, do the stairs etc. Repetition is definitely key. The more you do something and you don't die (like anxiety would have us think) the easier and more confident you feel being able to do it.
I had gotten into a habit of walking the dog every day for about a month. Then I faced an incident that really triggered my anxiety. I've been stuck in avoidance mode for a while now and using the hot weather as an excuse to not go. Add to that that my weight loss is still holding steady and I have been incorporating indoor exercises... I don't feel too guilty about it. However, I do know that I can't let it take me over again. I want a life, and that requires pushing through the hard parts.0 -
I have generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, panic disorder, and depression. I finally just went back on meds for my anxiety disorder because it's been getting out of control. I was having anxiety attacks several times a week and just needed help because the littlest thing would set me off. I'm anxious about going to the gym lately because I turned down a personal trainer who gave me a free session, then wanted $180 a month for a year to continue the sessions. I've been so anxious about seeing him and possibly being accosted to try and sign up again that I've been avoiding the gym unless I can go at odd hours. And that kind of sucks because exercise is good for my anxiety. So I do try to walk my neighborhood or walk/run the path near the lake.
I get you, I really do. Anxiety is a pain in my butt.0 -
orchidbutterflies wrote: »I had gotten into a habit of walking the dog every day for about a month. Then I faced an incident that really triggered my anxiety. I've been stuck in avoidance mode for a while now and using the hot weather as an excuse to not go. Add to that that my weight loss is still holding steady and I have been incorporating indoor exercises... I don't feel too guilty about it. However, I do know that I can't let it take me over again. I want a life, and that requires pushing through the hard parts.
Aww, I'm sorry to hear that. ((hugs)) I hope you can get yourself out the door soon!
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