Help please :( ...struggling

SuseAndo26

Okay, so I'm 5'9, 185 lb wanting to get to 160 lb. I am sooo struggling. This should be a piece of piss but I am finding it really hard.

I don't need sarcasm and mean smart alec remarks (thanks anyway) we all know how to lose weight....eat less, move more but if it was that simple we'd all be doing it, we'd all look amazing and there would be no weight issues in the world!!

I was doing well for the past 2-3 weeks and then my sons birthday on the weekend along with a huge party that he requested and I have eaten crap...oh so much crap ever since.

I have undone all the work I had achieved and am struggling to get back on the band wagon.

Every day I say to myself I'm going to start again, and I feel strong and determined whilst sitting there with my uncomfortably full belly full of junk and sweet foods, and then the next day comes and I just cave!

I really want to do this, but i am also really struggling and my resolve is very low.

I'm not sure what the problem is, I actually really enjoy the foods I eat when I'm being healthy. Perhaps the middle of Winter isn't helping (I'm from Melbourne, Australia) and I have a bit of a bug that I can't seem to shake, who knows..,sound like excuses to me. (I'm an old hand at this)

I am looking for some support, advice and suggestions if anyone has any...perhaps also some accountability...?

I am fully aware of the fact that only I can do this, no one can do it for me, but I'd like to think I'm not alone and others in my situation may have some words of wisdom for me. ( don't need smarmy, snide little comments, thankyou... Support is what I'm after if you can help)

Cheers

dn0pes

I have to bear in mind I'm not perfect. My weight loss is not linear nor is any other aspect of my life. Some days, I am on target others not so much. Either way it is not a good or bad proposition. Rather, just what I did on that day. Ultimately, I am exactly the way I am suppose to be, the only thing wrong is my perspective and even that is ok. I need to relax and enjoy what I am doing and any progress is progress. Nothing more or less.

omgsmh

I'm going through the same thing

purple44444

Please just don't give up! I am the same height as you and have the same goal--just have a little more than you to lose. Feel free to friend me or talk it out on here whenever you need to.

allie_mfp

Check out the iron cowboy and his progress on his 505050...coming into the home stretch. Was super motivating for me.

amberdubb

Someone just told me yesterday that I need to keep on logging even when I mess up. So this morning when I woke up I forced myself up and on my bike. It was hard but it really motivated me.

allie_mfp

http://www.ironcowboy.co/#home

Angels295

Every time I start to loose weight, something in my health changes and I gain more then I had when I started and I get set back! So, I now I am up to 176 and I am only 5 feet 1/2" and a size 16 fits--- I was a size 10 when I thought I needed to loose weight.. I was skinny my whole life until 10 years ago when it slowly started to gain on me. Thought I had it under control but.... have to admit it now for sure---- I do not have it under control! Hoping with this tracker and other things I put in place, I can finally get control back. I am thinking.... try try try again. Never give up on yourself. So here I go again.... trying. : )

allaboutthefood

First and most important, don't give up. You found your balance once and will you find it again. Here is a couple things I do and I have a sweet tooth. I don't keep any sweets in the house and yes I have kids, three of them. So if we want a treat we walk the 30 minutes to go get a ice cream and than walk back home again. If I really want a bag of chips I again walk the 30 minutes to the store, buy a small bag of chips, walk home and enjoy my chips. I keep other tasty healthy treats at home and not so healthy treats we have to go for a walk to get it. This journey is hard but it's so wroth it. Keep pushing forward you will get there.

SuseAndo26

Thankyou all so much.

As I type right now I am walking on my treadmill!!!

I have WAY blown my calories for the day (I logged everything I have eaten today which I am very embarrassed about...and this doesn't even include the last 4 days)

The treadmill will do little to compensate for the last few days however you have all helped me so much!! To know I'm not alone and we're all in the same boat is massive.

I have to start again somewhere, so might as well be right here, right now!!

I'm not one of those people who discusses weight/weightloss with other I know ..I always feel embarrassed and weak that I cant control myself, but this forum is perfect for the support I need!

Thankyou again so much.

On a side note- how do I send friend requests?

SuseAndo26

Ps: I think I've eaten all my trigger foods. There's nothing 'bad' left in the house!

mcfattest

SuseAndo26 wrote: »

Ps: I think I've eaten all my trigger foods. There's nothing 'bad' left in the house!

I don't mean to laugh but lol: my dietary rampages end up with finishing all the sweets in the house too...
Look I don't know about you, but I noticed that I have what you call trigger foods that do exactly that: trigger me to eat out of control. I don't believe people that say that there is no such thing as food addiction. Carbs do it for me: that's why I noticed that I'm successful at losing weight only when I start my day off with mostly protein and fat and keep it that way. It take s discipline and yes when I slip it takes 2-3 days to get back in track and that's because it takes me 2 days to gain what I can hardly lose in a week.
So here's the skinny: you my dear are not alone. It is hard, very hard, but not impossible. Know your strengths, weaknesses and limits and work around that, always with your goal in mind.
Best of luck from a fellow struggler

SuseAndo26

mcfattest wrote: »

SuseAndo26 wrote: »

Ps: I think I've eaten all my trigger foods. There's nothing 'bad' left in the house!

I don't mean to laugh but lol: my dietary rampages end up with finishing all the sweets in the house too...
Look I don't know about you, but I noticed that I have what you call trigger foods that do exactly that: trigger me to eat out of control.

It take s discipline and yes when I slip it takes 2-3 days to get back in track and that's because it takes me 2 days to gain what I can hardly lose in a week.
So here's the skinny: you my dear are not alone. It is hard, very hard, but not impossible. Know your strengths, weaknesses and limits and work around that, always with your goal in mind.
Best of luck from a fellow struggler

This ^ is so me!!! Thanks for the support!

dakinlew

We all fall short from time to time. And I know you've probably heard the get back up and try again speech... Lol sorry! But really, you just have to keep at it until one day it all clicks and you finally get it right. That might be tomorrow, next week, next year even. You just have to never stop trying, until your last breath. You know your challenge, you're being accountable now just go for it. Old habits die hard, took a long time to learn bad habits. It won't just disappear because you have a chAnge of heart. It takes practice, it takes time and it definetly takes resillience. Hope this helped. Good luck☺

dorothybooth

SuseAndo26 wrote: »

On a side note- how do I send friend requests?

Click on the person's name to go to their profile then click the little blue guy with a plus sign (at least that's how it's done on my cellphone).

misclaire81

I log everything - even the crap I shouldn't eat. The calorie numbers can really put things into perspective, and more often than not it can motivate me to do better the next day. I never ever deliberately eat under my 1200 goal though. it's important not to under eat to keep your metabolism ticking over (so I read!), but getting back on track can take a couple of days. Don't beat yourself up about it, you're human. Like you said, if it was easy, everyone would do it.

distinctlybeautiful

SuseAndo26 wrote: »

Thankyou all so much.

As I type right now I am walking on my treadmill!!!

I have WAY blown my calories for the day (I logged everything I have eaten today which I am very embarrassed about...and this doesn't even include the last 4 days)

The treadmill will do little to compensate for the last few days however you have all helped me so much!! To know I'm not alone and we're all in the same boat is massive.

I have to start again somewhere, so might as well be right here, right now!!

I'm not one of those people who discusses weight/weightloss with other I know ..I always feel embarrassed and weak that I cant control myself, but this forum is perfect for the support I need!

Thankyou again so much.

On a side note- how do I send friend requests?

This kind of thinking got me into a lot of trouble. I've learned now that when I overeat the best thing to do the next day or next meal is to go right back to my regular eating and exercising routine. I do my best to NOT try to eat way less the next day because then I'd just end up hungrier and likely overeat again. I've struggled like you have, so I know how you feel. Glad you're finding support here!

Oh and two things that were already said but are worth mentioning again: It's inevitable that you're going to have days when you don't make the best choices, but as long as you're really working at it and making good choices most of the time, you'll be moving in the right direction. And log even when you don't make the best choices.. I think it takes a special kind of honesty to do that, and if nothing else it can act as a reminder of your commitment and dedication to get healthier.

MelodyandBarbells

Like another poster I like my sweets but tend to keep them out of the house. Less temptation that way.

Also what is your daily calorie goal? Sometimes they can be too low and feel too restrictive. I remember how just bumping mine up by 250 felt like such a load was lifted off my shoulders, the goal suddenly became attainable and I began losing weight

Great job walking on the treadmill! Finding an exercise you like is an excellent way to focus on what you can do, rather than any shortcomings or difficulties. I like classes at the gym myself, but there's endless choices and possibilities out there

Lialena

I've been there. Pretty sure most of us have had days like that.

Perhaps try planning in snacks or a desert into your day ahead of time? That helped me when I started. I often logged in the next day's snacks the night before because I knew I'd want them. Then I just ate other meals with those items already factored in.
I still do that from time to time, especially when I'm going through a candy craving phase or it's a holiday and there are baked goods in the house.

If you don't have one, get a food scale. It makes it easier to figure out portion amounts that satisfy a craving but let you stay within your calorie goal. I'm doing that with potato chips at the moment. Instead of eating out of the bag I'm weighing out 10-20 gram portions (54-108 calories).

In addition to figuring out reasonable portions, I like mini-versions of baked goods. Like mini cupcakes and doughnuts from the grocery store. Eating one of those feels like an indulgence, but the calories are a lot less then the full sized versions.
That reminds me, I recently rediscovered mini M&Ms. Love those. I log 30 calories worth of them at a time, which is roughly 20 mini pieces. That gives me 20 opportunities to have a little taste of chocolate if I want to. It usually takes me several days to eat them all since I'm not snacking on them, just satisfying a craving in the moment.

I usually wait until the end of the day to have a treat, so that it's something I'm looking forward to for most of the day, rather then something I had early and then am denying myself until the next day.

That sort of daily indulgence-in-moderation may work for you, may not. Some prefer weekly or monthly treat days, or limit treats to holiday. Others find they do best when going without junk food altogether. You'll find your balance.

SuseAndo26

allaboutthefood wrote: »

First and most important, don't give up.

I don't keep any sweets in the house and yes I have kids, three of them. So if we want a treat we walk the 30 minutes to go get a ice cream and than walk back home again. If I really want a bag of chips I again walk the 30 minutes to the store, buy a small bag of chips, walk home and enjoy my chips. I keep other tasty healthy treats at home and not so healthy treats we have to go for a walk to get it. This journey is hard but it's so wroth it. Keep pushing forward you will get there.

I love this...especially for my son. I always feel guilty that I can't keep treats in the house for him because I end up eating them, but this idea is great!

Unfortunately I'm one of those people that when I do have a treat it triggers a whole chain reaction that can last for days so I'm best off not to stray. However this way my son doesn't miss out & I get some exercise in.

dakinlew wrote: »

?...really, you just have to keep at it until one day it all clicks and you finally get it right. You just have to never stop trying, until your last breath.

Old habits die hard, took a long time to learn bad habits. It won't just disappear because you have a chAnge of heart. It takes practice, it takes time and it definetly takes resillience. Hope this helped. Good luck☺

This ^

misclaire81 wrote: »

I log everything - even the crap I shouldn't eat. The calorie numbers can really put things into perspective

I must do this when I have bad days...I tend to not log anything because I know it won't be good, but this really shows me how everything adds up so easily.

distinctlybeautiful wrote: »

I've learned now that when I overeat the best thing to do the next day or next meal is to go right back to my regular eating and exercising routine. I do my best to NOT try to eat way less the next day because then I'd just end up hungrier and likely overeat again.

And log even when you don't make the best choices.. I think it takes a special kind of honesty to do that, and if nothing else it can act as a reminder of your commitment and dedication to get healthier.

This ^ ...there's always the temptation or thought in my mind that I should eat less the next day because I blew out so bad! but then I've set the stakes so high I set myself up for failure and think there's no way I can do it so just ruin the whole day.

JaneiR36 wrote: »

Like another poster I like my sweets but tend to keep them out of the house. Less temptation that way.

Also what is your daily calorie goal?

100% agree! My calorie goal is 1300-1400 a day. I seem to be quite successful when I do this (when I stick with if that is )

Lialena wrote: »

I've been there. Pretty sure most of us have had days like that.

Perhaps try planning in snacks or a desert into your day ahead of time? That helped me when I started.

That sort of daily indulgence-in-moderation may work for you, may not. Some prefer weekly or monthly treat days, or limit treats to holiday. Others find they do best when going without junk food altogether. You'll find your balance.

Thankyou for your support and advice, unfortunately I am the latter and am best going without junk all together

BritBoogaloo

How much are you eating? What are you eating? Are you able to open your diary so we can have a look? What ratio of macros have you set? Without this information, it's hard to give some specific advice, but I can say this generally based on my own experience:

1. If it's really hard or if you're having binges or constantly thinking about food and having to exercise willpower all the time, it could be because you've set your calories too low.

With your height/weight/gender stats (and assuming doing at least 30 minutes of exercise 3 times a week) you should AT LEAST be eating around 1600 calories a week. This might seem too high to you, but a calorie allowance in that range will allow you to stay in a deficit whilst still being comfortable being in that deficit. That reduces the risk of you succumbing to temptation and bingeing because you're not constantly hungry and thinking about food all the time.

Keep your body well-feulled and at a reasonable calorie deficit of no more than 500 calories a day and eat enough protein to keep you full and you reduce the risk of bingeing and cravings in the longer term.

2. If applicable, try to change your psychological mindset. What's the time frame for your weight loss goals? Are you expecting to lose 25lb in 6 weeks? That's an unreasonable expectation and you're setting yourself up to fail.

However, if you set an expectation that you'll lose the weight in 7 or so months, and really appreciate that's how long it will take, it may be easier for you to stick to your goals. Understand that this will be a long journey and it may be easier for you to stick to that road as you're travelling it.

3. Consistency is so important! If you regularly maintain a calorie deficit over time, you WILL lose weight.

I find routine helps a lot with staying motivated through the journey. Get up at the same time every day. Prepare your meals in advance every week and take your lunches to work with you. Exercise at the same time every day. Stay in the same daily routine for 3 weeks and you'll probably find you've formed a habit and it's much easier to follow through with your diet and exercise routine.

Those are the main things that come to mind that help me. All the best of luck to you and best of luck with your journey!

labohn91

You didn't undo much in one day, you just added a lot of water to your body. Lots of food + salt = bloating. Stop worrying when you fall off it is not the end. Do not get caught in the all or nothing mentality of fitness/health/weight. If you want motivation it should be to have the greatest quality of life and watch your kids grow old, you don't have to be a fitness model, skinny or on a diet all the time to achieve that. Walking, plus some running/playing around with your children and for extra credit some body weight stuff will help you reach your goals.

Best Regards.

MelodyandBarbells

You should be able to lose about a pound a week with 1500 calories per day. That number should easily go up to 1700-1800 if you exercise about an hour per day. That's a few more calories to play with, especially since you won't necessarily want certain things everyday. Just a buffer you can dip into whenever you want to, and still be successful. I do agree that an all or nothing approach is not necessary and may not always be that useful

chesves

You're not alone (as you can see from this thread alone) .... you CAN do this .... it will start with one decision at a time, one bite at a time, one step at a time, one pound at a time .....
Don't begrudge yourself for getting on the treadmill .... you did it! It might not "undo" all that you'd done, but you took the steps of turning around back into the right direction! I'd gotten off track for awhile (put five pounds back on). I could kick myself because I know how hard it was to drop those pounds ..... however, I'm determined to try and not beat myself up over it and just now keep moving forward in the right direction and make each day a little better than the day before.

iamthechud

Some really good advice on here, would defo say don't deny yourself the food you like. I did for a year and yeah I lost weight but put it all on in binge sessions, they say you won't miss it but I did. Now if I want something unhealthy I eat it, but I make sure I earn it. Maybe that's wrong but it's worked for me so far. Lost about 3 stone so far. Feel free to friend me if your looking for support, I know I could always do with some more :-)