I would give ANYTHING...well, except any effort whatsoever

LaurenAOK · June 2013

Ugh I feel your pain!! After all the hard work I've put into my body (over a year of eating healthy and working out hard core), it's almost an INSULT when people tell me I'm "lucky." It's like they're disregarding all the effort I've made (probably because they don't want to have to think about putting in that much effort themselves).

People like the easy way out, plain and simple. If your friend really wants to get in shape, one day she will learn and do it the right way. Unfortunately, she will probably try 50 crash diets before she gets to that point, like the majority of people do.

norahwynn · June 2013

I used to be REALLY lucky when I was in my 20's and most of my 30's. I always had people telling me how lucky I was that I could eat anything (and I mean anything) I wanted and didn't gain a pound. I kept my weight at 120 from the time I graduated high school till about 10 years ago. While in high school, I was a steady 115.

Then I turned about 38 or so, and for some stupid reason, I couldn't eat what I wanted anymore. So yes, I was lucky, and even felt lucky. Now, I work my *kitten* off 5-6 days a week trying to lose this last 21 lbs.

Not so lucky anymore, but truly understand that it could be much worse... :sad:

KAYRRIE · June 2013

I get that a lot. It comes in the form of "I would love to be able to eat and look like you do" (I am always eatting).

One day I told the person that they can look and eat like me but they would have to train for a marathon like I am because you get to eat quite a bit more food when running 50-70 miles a week.

That ended that conversation

lol

StinkyWinkies · June 2013

I disagree. Especially for someone who has built a life where enjoyment of food is a primary source of pleasure, dieting equals suck, and it always will.

You have to learn a life lacking the pleasure of food, and that's just the reality of it. And if your body isn't getting enough food to burn and has to resort to burning stores, you're going to be uncomfortable. That's the reality of it.

The reality is that losing weight requires you to think about food all the time. It requires massive willpower and this is why most people fail trying to lose weight.

Also I have never found physical exertion to be pleasant, and certainly not addictive. What I find addictive is sitting in front of the computer playing video games. Anything that involves sweating and little drops of sweat running down your body making you feel like bugs are crawling on you is not pleasant to me. And the worse out of shape you are, the less pleasant it is going to be. Again it takes massive willpower to overcome this and again, that's why most people fail.

Losing weight is hard work and requires constant attention every second you are awake. It's monumental effort.

Most people can't do it and they know it.

Well said.

KAYRRIE · June 2013

Nope, I'm not one of the lucky ones. Been fat since I was a teen. But I do agree with you, it's hard work that gets the results. And it's showing (look at my ticker!). I had people ask me when I first started "what diet are you on?", and all I could say was "The Common Sense Diet". Portion control and exercise. I don't get that question as much now. Mostly because I've made it clear through some Facebook posts that I'm working my butt off.

Lol, your comment just cracked me up. I'm gonna use that in the future, "The Common Sense Diet" lol.

jenilla1 · June 2013

OMG I feel you, OP! I HATE it when people just think I "lucked" into great shape and how they just got the raw deal in life. They would all look as good OR BETTER than me if they simply adopted the same attitudes and behaviors as me. I would look just like them if I followed their lifestyle. It's not magic or destiny or superior genes. I don't even personally think it's hard work. It's just setting priorities, focusing willpower, and practicing perseverance. It becomes a natural habit in time.

JennyLisT · June 2013

I've had people ask me what diet I'm following. :ohwell:

If there was a magic pill, there wouldn't be any overweight people like myself (barring extreme circumstances maybe).

Johanne1957 · June 2013

Most people can't do it and they know it.

Most people have no idea what they are capable of doing. And there are plenty of posts in the Success Stories forum to prove it.

^^^So agree with this...I couldn't....wouldn't do burpees 3 weeks ago...thought I needed to throw my body that way....lol...I tried and pushed myself and yes I can do them...I didn't THINK I would ever be able to do them...!

KAYRRIE · June 2013

You know... I feel kind of bad for ranting about this online. She is a very sweet person, and the only annoying habit she has is complaining about her weight...and never being willing to take action. Oh well. there is no delete button. I just wanted to vent. But now I don't think I should have.

It's ok. I think you were just venting about the lack of effort on someone's part when they say they want to do something but they really don't. I don't think you were really trying to make her look bad or talk bad about her. I get it.

krissyboothang · June 2013

Conversation with a friend today...

Friend: "Your sooo lucky to have an "athletic" body. I would give ANYTHING to have your body."
Me: "Really? Ok. You can have my body. Just give me 1 hour in the gym of your very best effort and follow a simple, healthy diet I'll help you develop and it's all yours."
Friend: "ummm...."
Me: "No seriously, One hour a day and eat right. You won’t be hungry or anything. Diets don't have to equal suck and after a little while, working out becomes addictive. I promise. We will work out together...I'll start easy on you ."
Friend: "I'm thinking about starting weight watchers. And I heard about this Raspberry stuff that makes you lose fat..." * turns away ending the conversation.
Me: :ohwell: What about giving ANYTHING?!? One hour a day and proper eating is too much?? ( I didn't say this...I just shrugged and told her let me know if she changes her mind.)

Now, I am not the most dedicated person (working on that) but I do work hard(-ish) for my body and health. I love feeling energized and strong. I am learning new things about nutrition and health every day. I research. I read forums. I keep track of the effects of intake and output on my body. I try to eat healthy most of the time...

I am sick of people telling me that I'm lucky! I am blessed to have had a mom that taught me self-discipline and nutrition and sparked a passion for it in me as a teen, but I work hard to be healthy and stay in shape. It is by no means "luck."

How about you all? Are you lucky? Or do you just work your butt off? Am I the only person this bothers? Maybe I'm just *****y today...:blushing:

Well i am the opposite,, I gave birth to twins via c-section. Over two years i gained 40 pounds. I has a boss at work who has a very nice physique. So i asked her the magic question "HOW" she simply replied she works out 5x a week doesnt eat after 7pm, drinks PLENTY of water, doesnt obsess over calories but doesnt go crazy either. I pushed that to the back burner and tried various quick fixes, nothing worked. Meanwhile shes gaining muscle and posting fabolous pics of her bod on FB.. I gave in because i wanted to do ANYTHING to be fit and have a nice physique. Now its only been 6 weeks,, and here i am never did i think i would be addicted to cardio and even strength training

cavia · June 2013

I get a scrunched face look (like they've just bitten into something rotten) from people when I answer their question as to how I've been losing weight with, "I weigh all my food." The next sentence is a variation on how much trouble that must be and is it really worth it. Ummm, 21lbs gone so far and I fit into single digit dress sizes now - heck yes it's worth it!

jenilla1 · June 2013

Its not just about weight. People would love to get good grades in school or learn a language, but don't want to study more. They'd love to earn more money, but don't want to work longer hours or at a more stressful job. That's just the way people are.

The key is to realize what a thinner body or better grades costs in terms of one's own effort. If you're willing to pay the cost you can have it, if you're not then don't complain.

This is so true. It all about priorities. If it's truly important to you, you'll do what it takes.

For example, I used to make way more money than I needed at my old job, but my work was extremely stressful and slowly killing me. So I left that career, which cut my income and spending by about 60%. My sanity and health were more important to me than having extra money to spend.

People just need to figure out what's more important to them: the comfort and familiarity they feel from their current lifestyle or the awesome benefits they'll gain with a new one.

lithezebra · June 2013

Technically, your friend didn't ask you how to lose weight. Saying "I would do anything...." was a rhetorical flourish.

kimbly71 · June 2013

I find that if you ease them into it rather than trying to slam everything you've done down their throat at once, they are more receptive to the gradual change. It took us time, research (lot of questions and answers) and a whole lot of discipline to reach the position that someone would envy. So give it to them in small doses.

This is pretty good advice. I try very hard not to let the "lucky" comments get under my skin. Some days it is all I can do not to reply with -" It actually has very little to do with luck. I spend at 4.5-7 hours a week in the gym. On top of that I spend several more hours a week shopping and preparing my food." Lucky?? :mad: Instead I usually say, "I keep my old trainers under my desk. If you ever want to go walking at lunch just let me know"! :flowerforyou:

naturallyme36 · June 2013

I find that if you ease them into it rather than trying to slam everything you've done down their throat at once, they are more receptive to the gradual change. It took us time, research (lot of questions and answers) and a whole lot of discipline to reach the position that someone would envy. So give it to them in small doses.

This is pretty good advice. I try very hard not to let the "lucky" comments get under my skin. Some days it is all I can do not to reply with -" It actually has very little to do with luck. I spend at 4.5-7 hours a week in the gym. On top of that I spend several more hours a week shopping and preparing my food." Lucky?? :mad: Instead I usually say, "I keep my old trainers under my desk. If you ever want to go walking at lunch just let me know"! :flowerforyou:

love this

Chelz2013 · June 2013

Coming from someone who has been chubby since she was about 10 and would LIKE to look like you.......no, you're not lucky. You're dedicated, motivated, and you inspire me. I know that my "bad luck" is purely the result of my laziness, comfort eating, hunger eating, boredom eating, lack-of-willpower snacking, and did I mention laziness? You may not have been overweight as many of us are, but that's through your choices and hard work.

Now there are people, like my brother, who are lucky. He eats like 2200 calories a day, mostly in junk food, and can't work out because he'll lose weight, and he's already bordering on underweight. Maybe the people who claim you're lucky just don't see you struggle and fight for your physique, or perhaps they think that they're complimenting you. I think that your answer to your friend was awesome. I need a gym buddy to get me moving, and the couple of people that I had been working out with are as spotty about it as I am. Personally, if someone had asked me to go with them to the gym for one hour every day, I would jump on the chance. ;-)

I love what you said here!

I've been overweight since I was a kid; fourth grade for sure, if not earlier. I did have some medical conditions that made me gain more weight as a kid and as an adult, but quite frankly, I was never taught to exercise as a kid. By high school, I tried Weight Watchers, once, and failed. As an adult, I've tried a few things, but honestly, I've never been committed, truly committed, until now.

And friends may comment, may compliment, but won't really "want to hear more" unless they're committed to make the change for themselves. I also agree that you offering to help your friend is amazing. It's all you can do and its the best and nicest thing you can do!

KathleenKP · June 2013

Maybe she's not ready to get healthy. It could be as plain and simple as that. I think all of us who have been (and currently are) overweight or unhealthy have had moments in our lives where we say "I wish I could be thinner" or "I wish I could eat healthier", and we (most likely) know what we should do and that it will require a lot of work, and are just not ready to do it. I know that I have been in that place many, many times in my life. Yes, I might be making excuses, but I am human.

I think that just being a supportive friend will do wonders for her. Hopefully she'll get to the point where she stops wishing and starts taking action.

I agree. There is a young guy (friend, like a son) in my life who talked with me for quite some time (well over a year) about beginning to run. He's a marathon runner, but he had to lose weight to get there. His mom started running, and he joined her. They both lost about 50 pounds. We would talk about it, he would encourage me, I had legitimate reasons for not starting. But he kept it up. And now I run. He knew me before I lost any weight...at my heaviest. I'm so glad he is still around to see the impact he made in my life by continuing to talk with me, tell me about his running, and answer my endless questions - even when it looked like I would never start, and I always would tell him at the end "but I can't do that".

Now I'm training for a triathlon. He told me the other day that he is starting to train for his first one this summer, too. He inpsired me to run, then I inspired him to start cross-training.

ereck44 · June 2013

Yeah, I talked to a friend last weekend who is trying still another fad diet, I think that it is "wheatless". There's no way that she is going to stick to it. I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "good luck." She doesn't want to sweat and doesn't want to pay for a gym membership.

I don't want to either but I do and am getting results. I don't measure everything but measure foods that I know have a lot of calories such as meat, turkey, and rice. And mfp helped me see how many calories are in foods that I thought had very little calories. Totally blown away but the amount of calories in a half a pear, for example.

I think that you have to go through that phase of contemplation. What's it worth to you? Risks vs. Rewards. The kicker for me was when my fat belly was pushing against my diaphragm, and when it took me a half hour to find a pair of pants that I could fit into and zip.( What a nightmare! I am never going back to my old ways. )

Clovergirl143 · June 2013

Most people can't do it and they know it.

Most people have no idea what they are capable of doing. And there are plenty of posts in the Success Stories forum to prove it.

THANK YOU! I started 11 weeks ago from doing nothing...I started walking and was beat after only half an hour. I had blisters on my feet. I could barely manage 30 sit ups, and forget push ups. I was miserable. And then I did something I had never done before. I kept going. I didn't quit. 11 weeks later, I did 138 sit ups this morning, 40 push ups, and several minutes of free weights before going on an hour long walk. I've had several experiences over the past several weeks where I learned that I was capable of a lot more than I had given myself credit for. If you had told me 11 weeks ago I would be able to do nearly 150 sit ups in less than 10 minutes, I would have laughed in your face! But I did, and I can, and it feels AMAZING!

A lot of people give up on themselves and don't give themselves credit for what they really can do, because they don't know what they CAN do until they try.

ApocalypticFae · June 2013

I think we are "lucky" to have the knowledge and mindset that we do, you know what I mean?

And as far as finding MFP, I feel very, very, very lucky.

As far as getting in shape and being healthy goes.... I do have to work really hard! But I truly believe that the rule, "an object in motion stays in motion", applies nearly flawlessly to exercise and clean eating. Once you have done it for a couple weeks, it gets easier and easier. But if you are sedentary and have a horrible diet, then it's really hard to get going.

Next time, I would definitely take it as a compliment though.

And maybe invite her out for an easy hike in the near future.

zinatara · June 2013

Well, I haven't been the person trying all the quick fixes and fad diets. Just because I knew rationally that they wouldn't work in the long run. But a lifestyle change is a very daunting task. I've tried a few times to change my whole lifestyle at once and I've failed a few weeks later when it becomes to much work and I've found an excuse for why I should be able to eat unhealthy for a holiday, weekend or party and then just fallen back into my old lifestyle.

The difference this time is that I started slow with just eliminating some of my bad habits, especially my sugar addiction and calories in drinks. After a while I started to cook healthier foods and work on my eating habits. Then I put more exercise into my days and found an online group of other women who had the same goal as me. And the last things I've added is logging all my foods and getting a fitbit. This prosess has lasted about 6 months. I also have a family that supports me and eats the food I cook, so that makes it a bit easier too. I'm responsible for my choices, but it's easier to make good choices when I don't have to watch other people eat junk and candy all day and see these foods every time I open my kitchen cupboards or fridge.

But even if the recipe for lifestyle change is the same for all, it doesn't mean that we have to add the ingredients in the same order. For me the food bit really is not too bad, I've always liked healthy food. I've just really liked the unhealthy foods too. But the exercise bit is challenging and not something I really enjoy. So for now I exercise to get extra calories and because it makes me feel good about myself after I'm finished.

slkehl · June 2013

An hour of exercising a day and eating completely healthy sounds pretty overwhelming, even to me! I usually suggest small steps to my friends.

JessiBelleW · June 2013

People who say "you are so lucky" drive me up the wall! No one has said this to me in regards to my weight yet (I've still got a ways to go) but people often say it to me about my job.
They also don't seem to get that I worked 50-60 hour weeks to get my job (and do in my current job). Luck has nothing to do with it I worked really hard to get my job!

Same with weight! I have had to work fairly hard and I suspect I will have to work really hard to get to goal weight and maintain there. grrrrr

To be fair to your friend some people need to take baby steps to get to where we are at, not all of us can just jump in the deep end and succeed. many of us advise those with a ton of weight to lose to break it up into smaller goals

NonnyMary · June 2013

Me: "No seriously, One hour a day and eat right. You won’t be hungry or anything. Diets don't have to equal suck and after a little while, working out becomes addictive. I promise. We will work out together...I'll start easy on you tongue ."

I disagree. Especially for someone who has built a life where enjoyment of food is a primary source of pleasure, dieting equals suck, and it always will.

You have to learn a life lacking the pleasure of food, and that's just the reality of it. And if your body isn't getting enough food to burn and has to resort to burning stores, you're going to be uncomfortable. That's the reality of it.

The reality is that losing weight requires you to think about food all the time. It requires massive willpower and this is why most people fail trying to lose weight.

Also I have never found physical exertion to be pleasant, and certainly not addictive. What I find addictive is sitting in front of the computer playing video games. Anything that involves sweating and little drops of sweat running down your body making you feel like bugs are crawling on you is not pleasant to me. And the worse out of shape you are, the less pleasant it is going to be. Again it takes massive willpower to overcome this and again, that's why most people fail.

Losing weight is hard work and requires constant attention every second you are awake. It's monumental effort.

Most people can't do it and they know it.

yes you are so right, this could have been written by me. I am waiting to lose more poundage because i cant quite walk more than 3 blocks without pain, i am doing swimming exercises for now and concentrating on that. I look at my high school yearbook pic and wish I would have stayed that weight, but the brownies and fudge, and fried chicken and pizza, etc. were choices I made to eat too much, a lot of times i didn't even care what it was doing to me. and yes it might take a year, but I will do it. When i look at a slim person I think wow i wish i would look like that, but i know they probably made good choices their whole life. I wonder what life would be like without this stomach of mine.

JessHealthKick · June 2013

Its not just about weight. People would love to get good grades in school or learn a language, but don't want to study more. They'd love to earn more money, but don't want to work longer hours or at a more stressful job. That's just the way people are.

The key is to realize what a thinner body or better grades costs in terms of one's own effort. If you're willing to pay the cost you can have it, if you're not then don't complain.

oh so true. I know people who want it all 'now' and choose to leave school, not study further and jump into the workforce. Now they are trying to finish high school... and as for languages, don't start me. I am at an advanced level of Japanese now and I find it painful to hear of people (Americans in particular) who have lived here for years, but just 'can't' pick up the language. 4 years. You can't pick up the language because you don't study it, you only speak English, you just DON'T TRY!

JessHealthKick · June 2013

Me: "No seriously, One hour a day and eat right. You won’t be hungry or anything. Diets don't have to equal suck and after a little while, working out becomes addictive. I promise. We will work out together...I'll start easy on you tongue ."

I disagree. Especially for someone who has built a life where enjoyment of food is a primary source of pleasure, dieting equals suck, and it always will.

You have to learn a life lacking the pleasure of food, and that's just the reality of it. And if your body isn't getting enough food to burn and has to resort to burning stores, you're going to be uncomfortable. That's the reality of it.

The reality is that losing weight requires you to think about food all the time. It requires massive willpower and this is why most people fail trying to lose weight.

Also I have never found physical exertion to be pleasant, and certainly not addictive. What I find addictive is sitting in front of the computer playing video games. Anything that involves sweating and little drops of sweat running down your body making you feel like bugs are crawling on you is not pleasant to me. And the worse out of shape you are, the less pleasant it is going to be. Again it takes massive willpower to overcome this and again, that's why most people fail.

Losing weight is hard work and requires constant attention every second you are awake. It's monumental effort.

Most people can't do it and they know it.

yes you are so right, this could have been written by me. I am waiting to lose more poundage because i cant quite walk more than 3 blocks without pain, i am doing swimming exercises for now and concentrating on that. I look at my high school yearbook pic and wish I would have stayed that weight, but the brownies and fudge, and fried chicken and pizza, etc. were choices I made to eat too much, a lot of times i didn't even care what it was doing to me. and yes it might take a year, but I will do it. When i look at a slim person I think wow i wish i would look like that, but i know they probably made good choices their whole life. I wonder what life would be like without this stomach of mine.

I agree and disagree. In my personal case, there are some pleasure foods - like bingeing biscuits, cake and chocolate - that I have cut down on. Yes it is hard. Did I give them up? Um, hell now! I just eat them in moderation! It's getting a balance that is important, and eating healthy DELICIOUS food because damn, there is a lot of amazing and delicious food. Plain yoghurt, banana, apple and cinnamon is heaven, seriously. I get that fried food is amazing, but once you wean yourself off it you won't really want it anymore. I personally had a week of intense fried-chicken cravings and I gave into it (within limits) and by the end of it, lost interest.

In regards to exercise, I disagree - it is completely addictive if you're doing it right and making it fun. Running on a flat incline for 30mins is impossible for me. I'd prefer to do sprints etc for 30mins on varying inclines, then do a bunch of luges and squats. You have to mix things up and get someone to help motivate you and teach you (Youtube is a godsend).

I went a week without exercising last week and I feel AMAZING now that I am again; I can't imagine ever not.