Eating disorder recovery advice needed.

olivlila251

Hi there. I'm a 22 year old female, 5'3 and 45kg - a little bit underweight according to BMI standards, though not by much. I have a history of obsessively restrictive eating and disordered thinking surrounding food, which I myself recognise and would like to overcome. My family life and living situation has been somewhat complicated in the last year or so, and I think this has created a control issue which has attached itself to my eating habits.

I have secondary amenorrhoea as of the last four or five months, and my doctor has advised me to raise my weight to 50kg. I'm determined to do this, though apprehensive about the toll this will take on my physical appearance. For the last week I have attempted to average 1500 kcal per day, with some difficulty and uncomfortable bloating. I have not jogged in a while on the recommendation of several (non-medically trained) people, though this makes me very unhappy.

I'm not sure where to go from here, or whether or not what I'm doing at the moment is right. I have contacted a clinic about counselling on the issue, but should I see a dietician too? Can I exercise at all? Is what I'm doing at the moment right or wrong?

Thank you for your time, and I hope someone can shed some light on all of this for me. I'm tired of struggling with this thing and just want to work towards getting better, but it's all just a little formidable at times.

jennifer_417

I would think, as long as you not obsessively exercising (ie no disordered thoughts or behavior in that area), and you make sure you NET the calories set for you (meaning, you eat back the calories burned by exercise), then you are ok to jog. Exercise can be a great stress relief for some. BUT monitor yourself VERY CAREFULLY. At the 1st sign of disorderd thinking/approaching exercise, TELL SOMEONE and back off from it immediately.

olivlila251

I really do want to give it at least one try - I feel kind of like I'm going stir-crazy without some kind of movement as an outlet. Now to work out how much I'd have to increase my intake by to accommodate it... I really hope I can manage to eat enough.

dhuno

Hi- I really admire your honesty and determination to get a handle on this. You're taking positive action-good for you!

I'm no expert, just speaking from experience. My problem has never been to try and gain weight so these are my thoughts...

1. Were you jogging or exercising excessively? Exercise has many benefits to one's mental health as well as physical. I think since you're used to it, jogging would be good for you. Unless you're out there for hours/miles at a time. If so, can you find some other activity? Maybe zumba or something like that?

2. If it were me, I would exercise (weight training, zumba, walking or something).

3. A dietician could help with meal planning but I would expect that you would/could get similar advice from your doctor or clinic.

4. Some kind of support group might be beneficial. Again, your doctor or clinic might have some suggestions. It can be very overwhelming and a bit scary to tackle some of the non-food issues. Talking with others that have or are struggling with similar issues can help you feel like you're not so isolated.

5. Remind yourself that you ARE working in a positive direction. Good luck!

olivlila251

There was a time when I was running around 5-6 times a week for about 30 minutes at a time, but it's been a while since I've been able to do that, and I have no real desire to take it up with that level of intensity again. Does something like 30 minutes, 2-3 times a week sound excessive?

jennifer_417

No, that doesn't sound excessive, I would just say to pay close attention to your thoughts /feelings/behaviors.

robin52077

(disclosure: not a medically trained professional)

My opinion is that jogging 30 minutes 3 or 4 times a week is healthy and you can still do that even while trying to recover and gain weight, AS LONG AS you eat enough that day to fuel the workout and get all the calories you need to gain weight. If any part of your brain is telling you to do it to burn calories, then don't. if you're doing it because it is good for your heart and lungs and general well being, then it is wonderful.

olivlila251

The main reason I'd like to get back to it is because there's a 10k in September that I was really hoping to run with some family members. I was thinking that maybe having the goal could give me something positive to focus on, and that might override some food anxiety.

Wow, it's really good to talk about this openly for a change instead of going back and forth with pros and cons in my head. Thanks, guys.

monavegas

I totally agree with robin52077, and all the other users who replied. Professionals advise people with EDs to put physical activity on hold because during recovery they tend to use it as a way to burn calories, a lot of the time it's subconscious. So as long as you aren't doing it to purge yourself of the calories you take in at all, I think it's good in moderation!

dhuno

olivilla- I'm so glad you see a good reason to open up and communicate. That's what I meant about feeling isolated. With a good support group, you feel like you can be honest and it won't shock or upset anyone because we're all going through a version of the same thing.

Agree with everyone- exercise is good, unless you are using exercise to purge calories.

The 10K in September sounds like a fun activity to look forward to. When you mention "goals", what do you mean? A time goal? A weight goal? A social goal?

Again, I want to congratulate you on your honesty. To look at yourself and your life can be hella scary.

Serena795

I don't think jogging is excessive as long as you monitor yourself for signs of disordered thinking/behavior. If jogging makes you happy, by all means do it, while making sure you eat enough. I found running incredibly helpful for my recovery, because I thought about my food as fuel for my running, rather than food as an enemy.

As for how much you need to run when you eat, a dietitian or nutritionist can give you a calorie plan. I found it helpful to eat the same amount every day, regardless of how long I'd run that day. On the days that I ran less, I might have overeaten slightly. On the days that I ran more, I probably under-ate slightly. But the weekly average all balanced out in the end.

sarafischbach9

I think it's great you want to recover. I myself battled an eating disorder off and on for 5 years.

I think it's ok for you to run, as long as you eat back your exercise calories. 30 minute runs a few times a week isn't considered high mileage, so you wouldn't be overdoing it. ( It isn't like you would be running a marathon or anything ).

I also think seeing a dietitian or nutritionist would be a good idea for you because like the other guy said she/he would put you on a diet plan that supports healthy weight gain. Have you thought about a little bit of strength training?

doingthisfortheboys1

I think you have got some sound advice re running, definitely keep an eye on it, track your distance and stick to it, I know how it can escalate from just 3 miles to 3.5 4 .... and those feelings of not doing "enough". Also I would highly recommend going to a support group, those feelings of isolation are horrible and speaking to "real life" people who are going through similar has been invaluable helping me in my recovery.

Re lack of periods keep your fat intake up as low fat can be a factor towards it as well low body fat %

Add me if you'd like to, struggling with similar issues

olivlila251

I really appreciate all of the input, everyone. I have my first meeting with a counsellor this week (something that's long overdue, honestly) and it can't come soon enough. I'm so, so ready to be past this ED and move on with my life. Truly sick of how much input it has in my actions and choices and thoughts.

@monavegas I really want to trust myself to not overdo it. Hopefully I can be honest with myself for this.

@dhuno Thank you, really. When I say goal, I guess I just mean general achievement. I want to run 10k with my family, and share that with them. It would make me proud of myself, and I haven't felt that way in a while.

@Serena795 Yes, I agree that a set caloric intake would probably be the best route to weight gain whether I'm exercising or not. I'll talk with my counsellor about it when I see her. Determining how much I should be taking in will be helpful.

@sarafischbach9 I'd really love strength training, but I'm not entirely sure where to begin with it. Do you have any thoughts on that? I'm all ears.

@doingthisfortheboys1 I'll definitely add you. The lack of a period is honestly what's driving me most though this whole thing, especially when my ED convinces me that there's nothing wrong and my behaviour is normal. If any of this was normal, my body would be behaving normally. Simple as that.