Worst sex advice: magazine fail

Options

Replies

  • Mildromeda
    Mildromeda Posts: 8 Member
    Options
    "Hold his penis in one hand and lightly slap it with the other," I giggled.
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,642 Member
    Options
    the original 13 thing list:
    1. Stocking the fridge with his favourite drinks. Bonus points: Bring him back to his fraternity days by handing him a cold one as he steps out of the shower.

    2. Making him a snack after sex. It doesn't have to be a gourmet meal – a simple grilled cheese or milk and cookies will do.

    3. Emailing him the latest online gossip about his favourite TV show. You don't have to have a BFF at HBO. Just share applicable links from your Twitter feed and pat yourself on the back.

    4. Bragging about him to your friends, family, the stranger on the street corner – whomever. Proclamations of pride will make his chest puff out and his heart swell.

    5. Answering the door in a negligée – or, better yet, naked.

    6. Being open to what he wants to try in the bedroom and out. An open mind is attractive no matter your playground.

    7. Letting him help solve your petty work problem. Many men don't do gossip, but they do like to fix things.

    8. Spitting out sports stats for his favourite team. Showing an interest in his favourite players will earn you points on and off the field.

    9. Making a big deal out of his favourite meal. Does he like hot dogs cut up into his boxed mac-and-cheese? Serve it on a fancy tray in bed to really see him smile.

    10. Treating his friends as well as you treat your own. If you win their affections, you'll win his heart.

    11. Sitting side-by-side while he watches his favourite TV. It may not feel like quality time to you, but it's the best time to him.

    12. Giving him a massage – happy ending completely optional. In fact, a foot rub works just fine.

    13. Taking him back to third grade with a gentle tease over anything from how you'll dominate him on the basketball court to the weird way he just styled his hair.
  • Livgetfit
    Livgetfit Posts: 352 Member
    Options
    4. Bragging about him to your friends, family, the stranger on the street corner – whomever. Proclamations of pride will make his chest puff out and his heart swell.

    ....and make you look like an obsessed nutjob....
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,642 Member
    edited July 2015
    Options
    Livgetfit wrote: »
    4. Bragging about him to your friends, family, the stranger on the street corner – whomever. Proclamations of pride will make his chest puff out and his heart swell.

    ....and make you look like an obsessed nutjob....

    Beats the **** out of the "mom" treatment where you gals make fun of us in public to try to embarrass us to somehow make yourselves look "cool" to our or your friends.



  • ladykate26
    ladykate26 Posts: 1,134 Member
    Options
    Where are my forks????
  • oh_happy_day
    oh_happy_day Posts: 1,138 Member
    Options
    "You can tap it back and forth like you're volleying a tennis ball and lightly pinch the skin on his shaft and testicles. Many women make the mistake of being too gentle." This just sounds painful.

    There's the "glazed doughnut" tip where they laughably suggest women "Gently stick his penis through the hole … and slowly nibble around it, stopping to suck him once in a while …" Total waste of a doughnut.

    "Sprinkle a little pepper under his nose right before he climaxes. Sneezing can feel similar to an orgasm and amplify the feel-good effects." How would you even accomplish this? Have pepper tucked under the pillow and then throw it in his face? So sexy! So spontaneous!
  • Livgetfit
    Livgetfit Posts: 352 Member
    Options
    _John_ wrote: »
    Livgetfit wrote: »
    4. Bragging about him to your friends, family, the stranger on the street corner – whomever. Proclamations of pride will make his chest puff out and his heart swell.

    ....and make you look like an obsessed nutjob....

    Beats the **** out of the "mom" treatment where you gals make fun of us in public to try to embarrass us to somehow make yourselves look "cool" to our or your friends.



    Clearly something underlying here mate...
  • tat2cookie
    tat2cookie Posts: 1,902 Member
    Options
    _John_ wrote: »
    the original 13 thing list:
    1. Stocking the fridge with his favourite drinks. Bonus points: Bring him back to his fraternity days by handing him a cold one as he steps out of the shower.

    2. Making him a snack after sex. It doesn't have to be a gourmet meal – a simple grilled cheese or milk and cookies will do.

    3. Emailing him the latest online gossip about his favourite TV show. You don't have to have a BFF at HBO. Just share applicable links from your Twitter feed and pat yourself on the back.

    4. Bragging about him to your friends, family, the stranger on the street corner – whomever. Proclamations of pride will make his chest puff out and his heart swell.

    5. Answering the door in a negligée – or, better yet, naked.

    6. Being open to what he wants to try in the bedroom and out. An open mind is attractive no matter your playground.

    7. Letting him help solve your petty work problem. Many men don't do gossip, but they do like to fix things.

    8. Spitting out sports stats for his favourite team. Showing an interest in his favourite players will earn you points on and off the field.

    9. Making a big deal out of his favourite meal. Does he like hot dogs cut up into his boxed mac-and-cheese? Serve it on a fancy tray in bed to really see him smile.

    10. Treating his friends as well as you treat your own. If you win their affections, you'll win his heart.

    11. Sitting side-by-side while he watches his favourite TV. It may not feel like quality time to you, but it's the best time to him.

    12. Giving him a massage – happy ending completely optional. In fact, a foot rub works just fine.

    13. Taking him back to third grade with a gentle tease over anything from how you'll dominate him on the basketball court to the weird way he just styled his hair.

    +1
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
    Options
    OMg...I laughed so hard!!
  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
    Options
    Better yet, ask your partner what would make him feel special.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    Options
    Well how can she make a post sex snack when my goal is to put her to sleep?
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    Options
    oh_happy_day wrote: »


    There's the "glazed doughnut" tip where they laughably suggest women "Gently stick his penis through the hole … and slowly nibble around it, stopping to suck him once in a while …" Total waste of a doughnut.


    DIP IN MILK!!!!!11!
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
    Options
    oh_happy_day wrote: »
    There's the "glazed doughnut" tip where they laughably suggest women "Gently stick his penis through the hole … and slowly nibble around it, stopping to suck him once in a while …" Total waste of a doughnut.

    All I see is, I don't get any donut.
    Unacceptable.

  • asianfashionista86
    asianfashionista86 Posts: 5,045 Member
    Options
    I only get glamour for the pictures they have pretty pictures and the fashion section is nice....but I get most magazines for pretty pictures

Categories