Im beaking up with you because of you...

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blueriotgirl
blueriotgirl Posts: 151 Member
in Motivation and Support
We need to talk. Now i know its been a rough few months. I have been doing things that are different and don't mesh with your ideals of where this "relationship" should be and i am not gonna say im sorry. Ya see im breaking up with you and i know most people are its not you its me, but you see....it is you. We have been at this for years and i have had it.
Because of you i have avoided social situations at times, lacking self confidence and hiding behind my self pity. Drowning all these feelings in unhealthy choices. Because of you i have made myself and my family sick. Not just physically but mentally. Because of you i had crashed dieted and popped pills to fight off all those feelings of hunger to achieve what was your idea of "the perfect body". Because of you and your negativity i almost gave up. But something changed.
Ya see i almost accepted what i was becoming and i started to enjoy staying away from family and friendsand activities. Then i got mad! Who was this woman? I used to be so fun loving and loved being social and doing crazy stuff. This was not the same person. Now granted yes i have gotten older and my body is not that of a 21 yr old or a teenager but why can't i go rock climbing or repelling or anything else that is adventurous? Because of you? I don't think so.
Because of me i have become less self doubting saying I CAN instead of i can't. Because of me i have learned to keep a healthy relationship with diet and exercise. Because of me i have come out of that cage you kept me in and have made new friends and done new things. Because of me i no longer feel ashamed going swimming with my children and husband, or shopping with my girlfriends, or even out to eat...instead i walk around feeling proud and confident in my new skin.
Now i know i may still not have the flattest tummy or the leanest arms, and yes my butt still jiggles when i do kickboxing but that's OK! Ya see i have worked very hard and i have changed my whole outlook on life.
I guess in a way i should be thanking you...you gave me that kick in the *kitten* i needed to change...but i don't want to give you all the credit because it was harder for me to step out of your shadow then i ever thought it would be.
So do you have any questions? Wanna voice any concerns? Oh too bad cause I'm not gonna let you say anything..why? Because i don't have too. I dont have to listen to you i don't have to reason with you..i just have to continue on being me.
Well now i feel better, sorry can't stay any longer. Enjoy your coffee and i'll see ya around, maybe in the photo album sometimes. Goodbye old me...i won't miss you. ☺

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