Don't put limits on me (a rant)

lisawinning4losing

I'm sure I'm not the only one who's tired of hearing people say things like "You don't need to lose weight" or "You're getting too thin" or "Just accept yourself the way you are."

A bit of background: So far, I've lost about 40 pounds, and I'm basically at my original goal weight, but I still have a long way to go in achieving my fitness goals, and I still need to lose a bit more fat.

Yesterday was my first day of bikini boot camp. Upper body is a little sore but hey, no pain no gain! Today they weighed me and took my body composition, and gave me a diet plan which I'm going to slightly modify. It feels SO GOOD to have support from people who GET IT! And I love how they said to me, "We don't tell you what your goals should be. We just help you achieve them." Ta da! Everybody else is like, "Oh no, you're fine the way you are, don't change anything!"

Why the hell would you tell somebody NOT to achieve their goals and live their dreams? Why would you try to hold somebody down instead of lifting them up? If someone told you they want to be more successful in their career, or make more money, or play better basketball, or become a better singer, you wouldn't say, "Oh no, you shouldn't make any improvements! You should just stay the way you are!" How the hell does that even make sense? Of course most of the people saying that are out of shape themselves, so there ya go. Maybe they feel intimidated? I don't know, it makes no sense to me.

It just feels like I'm surround by people who want me to stay out of shape and not get fit. It feels like they're trying to sabotage me and hold me down, and that pisses me off. Do not EVER try to put limits on me, because I will smash through every single limitation that you try to build around me. I'm not going to stay mediocre just so you can feel better about yourself, or whatever it is that your problem is. (People out there in meat space. And a few online as well.)

Another thing I get is, "Oh no, if you keep going you're going to get too skinny!" First of all, I'm not trying to be skinny. I'm trying to be FIT. I'm trying to be strong and toned. Second of all, I'm a size 12. I'm not even anywhere close to being too skinny. Too skinny is like three planets away from where I am right now. I don't even know what the hell these people are talking about. Are they on LSD? Are they having hallucinations? I truly do not understand what they're worried about. Third, at this point in my journey, it's not just about losing "weight". It's about losing FAT and building MUSCLE. It's about changing my body composition. But these ding dongs just don't get it.

It's like I'm living in the Twilight Zone where people think that being fat and out of shape is healthy, and getting fit is unhealthy. Like the world is upside down. You would think that people would encourage healthy habits, but instead they just want to trip you up and make you fail. But the joke is on them, because every time somebody says some ignorant *kitten* to me, it just makes me want to try even harder, and prove them wrong.

marsinah1

That resembles a few people in my life, as well. Congrats on the current successes and enjoy showing up the naysayers.

lisawinning4losing

Thanks! Sorry I'm all angsty, but I needed to vent.

marsinah1

Heck, I'm inclined to tape that "rant" to my bathroom mirror for the next time someone feigning being helpful and supportive tries to discourage me. There are probably scores of others on here who have also dealt with similar situations, so I'm going to enjoy lurking on this thread.

lisawinning4losing

Also, shameless plug for my group. For those of us who don't get enough support in real life, Internet friends can make all the difference! Open to anyone who wants to join.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/104536-hot-summer-body-2016

louiseyates1

I'm yet to lose the weight but have already had these experiences (kind of) such as telling me 'you only have a baby 5 mins ago wait a while' or trying to sabotarge me at my weakest points (alcohol or curry) its taken me some time but I can say no thanks and although people think I'm offending them I look at it as though actually they have offended me by offering such stuff when I'm trying to get healthy.

I have a 3&1\2 yr old and a 11 month old, when do they propose I wait until? They are 15!?!!

Been doing the 30 Day Shred as my muscles have become weak from baby and lack of exercise (used to do insanity) and people have been saying don't push yourself too hard.... Um duh isn't the idea to push harder if you want to reach your goals.

JessiBelleW

Not sure if you want an explanation? I think its half we have no idea what healthy looks like any more (some people have said their friends/relatives are so used to seeing fat them that the relatives thought they looked sick when they were down to a healthy weight). Its a quarter jealousy/ changing the status quo: you are the friend they are smaller than so if you get smaller they have to reevaluate their own habits/life. Or you exercising or saying no to an extra piece of cake makes they think about their own lack of will power and that brings up negative feels for them (not that I'm suggesting its your job to handle anyone else emotions!) I think the last quarter is misguided support/affirmation "no, your not fat/you look lovely today/your a wonderful person" ect ect.

If anyone told me I couldn't do something id be like "f**k you, I'm an adult and I decide what I do with my life!" and then id probably do it just to spite them! (real mature of me I know). Fitness and strength is a great goal!

Maybe some scripts you could be able to use are "oh thanks, I'm not trying to lose more weight (a truth you want to lose fat) I'm trying to get heart healthy."
Or "oh I'm not losing weight, my doctor says strength classes will keep me in tip top health"
"My doctor says that exercise will help prevent heart problems/diabetes and their is a history of that in my/ our family" (there is a history of something in pretty much every family)

Its super hard to argue with you wanting to be healthy and if your doctor has 'approved' it, its even harder to argue! Especially as you can then say "sorry you want me to go against the advice of a trained medical professional? (use your most sarcastic/ unbelieving tone!) I didn't know you were a doctor, where did you get your degree from?" that's assuming you want to say something! otherwise just keep on rocking on!

tkphotogirl

Good vent! Naysayers can kiss our collective butts.