My family just doesn't understand...

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jokoh92
jokoh92 Posts: 112 Member
in Motivation and Support
I love my family and have missed them terribly since I have been away but one thing that drives me up the wall since I've been home is how they don't understand my weight loss journey and all it entails.

I asked my grandmother did she put sugar in the sweet potatoes for dinner because I wanted to add that into MFP, and she goes: "Yes but its not going to kill you. Just eat and relax. Enjoy the food. You drink plenty of water so its not going to do anything. You're just going to *kitten* it out anyways. Stop thinking so much."

My mom goes: "Honey you're not going to turn into Fat Albert overnight over sugar."

Granted they're right but they don't understand that one little setback can eventually set me back to how I used to be. I'm not just someone with an overweight problem, I am someone with a food addiction and have had many binge episodes.

I want to tell them how deep it is but they won't understand. To them, its just cutting back or exercising. But for me, I'm trying to make a lifestyle change. A change where I'm not just cutting back or working out but also putting nutritious foods in my body.

And they haven't been overweight all their lives, so they really can't understand how I feel.

I've lost out on so many experiences for being the chubby kid, the big girl, the one no one wants to be around, the girl who just stands in the background while every else shines bright. And I am so sick of it! I just want to be free but they will never understand...



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  • Bowsergirl
    Bowsergirl Posts: 89 Member
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    People who haven't been heavy their whole lives don't really understand how hard it can be to break that lifestyle.
    You just have to stay strong around your family.
    If I were you I would just exercise a little extra before going to grandma's house so I had some extra calories to spare.
  • becky53012
    becky53012 Posts: 78 Member
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    Oh girl, I get it! You are doing this for you! Dont let anyone stand in your way! They are gonna see you transform and they will be amazed and hopefully supportive. It seems like it takes a bit for everyone to catch up you know. They aren't living this new lifestyle so it might be hard for them to understand. Stand your ground. You got this!
  • quiltlovinlisa
    quiltlovinlisa Posts: 1,710 Member
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    I have to make sure I'm not hungry before going to my husband's parents. My goodness, their table of junk drives me crazy!

    Hang in there, make sure you have a little leeway in your calories before going and you've got this.
  • jokoh92
    jokoh92 Posts: 112 Member
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    Bowsergirl wrote: »
    People who haven't been heavy their whole lives don't really understand how hard it can be to break that lifestyle.
    You just have to stay strong around your family.
    If I were you I would just exercise a little extra before going to grandma's house so I had some extra calories to spare.

    The unfortunate thing is that I am here for another three weeks so its going to be hard but I am trying to hang in there as best as I can. I may not be able to control what I eat while I'm here but I can definitely control how much and try to make up through exercising.

    I remember the very first day, I had out my measuring cup and Tupperware bowls and they looked at me like I was crazy.

    They have become used to it now but sometimes they still give me strange looks but I take it with a grain of salt because ultimately I am the only one that has to live with this body.
  • jokoh92
    jokoh92 Posts: 112 Member
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    becky53012 wrote: »
    Oh girl, I get it! You are doing this for you! Dont let anyone stand in your way! They are gonna see you transform and they will be amazed and hopefully supportive. It seems like it takes a bit for everyone to catch up you know. They aren't living this new lifestyle so it might be hard for them to understand. Stand your ground. You got this!

    Thanks girl so much! Yeah eventually they will come around but I think right now they aren't really taking it seriously because I have regained weight from a significant amount of weight loss before but this time I am determined to get it all off. I am now at my lowest weight I have ever been as an adult and plan to go even further.

    Thanks so much for the support! Really needed that and I know after a while they will see that all that measuring and logging wasn't in vain or at least I hope so!
  • jokoh92
    jokoh92 Posts: 112 Member
    edited August 2015
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    quiltlovinlisa wrote: »
    I have to make sure I'm not hungry before going to my husband's parents. My goodness, their table of junk drives me crazy!

    Hang in there, make sure you have a little leeway in your calories before going and you've got this.

    Yes, I know exactly how you feel! My mother keeps cakes and cookies stacked in her room and my grandmother keeps her stash in the kitchen right where you can really see it. I'm not going to lie and say I haven't backslid a couple of times since I have been home especially during my monthly ugh but I just try to keep pushing through it through exercising and eating clean the day after.
  • quiltlovinlisa
    quiltlovinlisa Posts: 1,710 Member
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    jokoh92 wrote: »
    quiltlovinlisa wrote: »
    I have to make sure I'm not hungry before going to my husband's parents. My goodness, their table of junk drives me crazy!

    Hang in there, make sure you have a little leeway in your calories before going and you've got this.

    Yes, I know exactly how you feel! My mother keeps cakes and cookies stacked in her room and my grandmother keeps her stash in the kitchen right where you can really see it. I'm not going to lie and say I haven't backslid a couple of times since I have been home especially during my monthly ugh but I just try to keep pushing through it through exercising and eating clean the day after.

    That really is the best possible strategy. I keep reminding myself, I'm not trying to be perfect, I'm trying to be consistent.

  • Tintin13
    Tintin13 Posts: 86 Member
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    It's so difficult when family or friends do not understand, encourage, or support our decisions for a healthier lifestyle. My husband is this way. At times I feel discouraged but then I realize and remind myself I am doing this for me. Congrats on your decision to embark on this journey I wish you the best.
  • jokoh92
    jokoh92 Posts: 112 Member
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    Tintin13 wrote: »
    It's so difficult when family or friends do not understand, encourage, or support our decisions for a healthier lifestyle. My husband is this way. At times I feel discouraged but then I realize and remind myself I am doing this for me. Congrats on your decision to embark on this journey I wish you the best.

    Aww thanks! Same to you!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,523 Member
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    Realize you CAN eat what you want. You just have to limit the amount. That's how lean people do it. When you realize that the issue is over consumption and can be addressed, you are on your way to changing habitual behavior. If you're committed to a reasonable goal, it's doable as long as you're still counting calories.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png
  • theman900
    theman900 Posts: 48 Member
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    My respects to you its hard while mainly for health reasons ive been on a 100% paleo diet plus no eggs all . nightshades (chilli tomatoes potatoes) nuts for a while now while my family continue to eat all these plus tons of.gluten filled pastas and breads ot was hard at first but you must commit to it fully even of it means cooking all your foods youself your body will thank you for it and who knows your family may taste your food and want to join you as healthier foods can taste sooo better best wishes
  • jokoh92
    jokoh92 Posts: 112 Member
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    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Realize you CAN eat what you want. You just have to limit the amount. That's how lean people do it. When you realize that the issue is over consumption and can be addressed, you are on your way to changing habitual behavior. If you're committed to a reasonable goal, it's doable as long as you're still counting calories.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png

    Thanks! I am definitely committed and try to do this for the most part but I just wish my family could be on board as well. It would make things incredibly a lot easier.


  • jokoh92
    jokoh92 Posts: 112 Member
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    theman900 wrote: »
    My respects to you its hard while mainly for health reasons ive been on a 100% paleo diet plus no eggs all . nightshades (chilli tomatoes potatoes) nuts for a while now while my family continue to eat all these plus tons of.gluten filled pastas and breads ot was hard at first but you must commit to it fully even of it means cooking all your foods youself your body will thank you for it and who knows your family may taste your food and want to join you as healthier foods can taste sooo better best wishes

    Yeah I have explained to them a thousand times that I don't eat certain things anymore and they will still put things like sugar in. Its frustrating but I have thought about doing the paleo diet. I don't know if I have the dedication lol but I think its a little easier than going vegan.

    Definitely not while I'm home though, they would freak out but once I get back on my own I think I will give it a try since I don't really eat processed foods anymore. Only when I'm home.

    But thanks and I will probably just have to start cooking my own food until I leave. Kudos to you for living the paleo lifestyle!

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