Grief and weight loss

hopestreet2470

I have been on a weight loss journey for the last year, losing over 12kgs which is great (still have a bit to go ), I lost my father suddenly 3 months ago during those three months I stopped logging as it just wasn't hight on list of things to do.
I'm at the point now where I'm ready to start back logging and tracking what I eat, but I've found it so hard.
Harder then when I started.
I'm worried I'll go back up to the weight I was before if I keep eating the way I am.

I guess my question is has any one else tried to lose weight and deal with grief at the same time?

Any feed back or guidance would be great

Thank you

Whitezombiegirl

Hi, I'm sorry for your loss. After the initial stress weight loss I gained about 16lbs. It was due to eating lots of calorie dense convenience foods. It took me 18 months to get my emotions under control enough to start home cooking again and pre- preparing my breakfasts and lunches and longer to get back to excersising. I've lost 26lbs in 27 weeks. Just put one foot infront of the other and don't think too hard and you'll get there when you're ready.

hopestreet2470

Thanks for much for your response, it's super kind of you
You have 100% described what I'm doing atm,
Great advice. It's so nice to hear from someone who has been there, it's so hard trying to muddle your way along some times.
Big congrats on your massive loss! I hope you are in a ok place now with your grief.

Forty6and2

I'm so glad I found this thread. I've been dealing with the loss of my mother for over a year and now I'm losing my boyfriend to a terminal illness and I've been looking for some support on here.

But to answer your question, I did gain some weight back after losing my mom and I think the only thing that helped me get back on track was a group fitness class at my gym. After forcing myself to workout again, I realized how good I felt afterwards and I kept it going until I lost some more weight. Lately, I've been in a slump though. Realizing how little time my boyfriend has left has got me back off track and I'm looking for some friends to get me back on track, so add me if you want!

Rachelgettingleaner

Hi ladies. I am sorry for the losses you have suffered. My boyfriend died in a car accident almost 6 months ago, he was my best friend. I don't know how much weight I lost the first few months, but it was dramatic. When I realized how poorly all my normal clothes were fitting, I decided I might as well keep going with it if at all possible. Although i haven't looked at how much i weigh since his accident, i'm guessing i've lost over 30lbs. I'm at least 1 pant size down and all my XL shirts are very loose. Right now i'm about a 16 pant and L shirts. Yes it's been difficult, but I know exercise improves my well being in general, and I continually remind myself that wanting to look and feel good is NOT selfish or shallow when grieving (or at any time). I am learning to take care of myself, which is definitely something my boyfriend would want. Every decision I make I consider whether that honors his life, his memory. Becoming healthier has become a part of my grieving process, along with many other activities I wasn't involved in before his loss. On my own, I am so tempted to collapse on the couch &do nothing, waiting till he comes back to rescue me. But that image, that version of me, is not what my boyfriend would want for me ever, and it's not who I want to be. Hard as it may be, I get up (most of the time), put on real pants, and do something. Anything. Garden, bike ride, walk the dogs, clean my room, cook something, yoga, or pick up the phone and see who wants to hang out with me so I'm not home alone moping. Our loved ones would not want us to be wrecks. I just try to live us to his memory as best I can each day! Do things that would make him proud.

caseyon2nd

I have been in the same situation. I lost my Mom, September 19, 2014. Three days after I started a weight loss challenge at the gym. Those first 3-4 months were a blur. I lost 12 lbs those 3 months of the challenge. I was so sad and turned to alcohol after work to just get through the days. After the first of the year, I decided that I didn't want to live like that. I couldn't, so I became a gym rat as they say. Working out like crazy, and in March I started running. I now love it! It clears my mind, and it takes the stress of everything away while I'm running. I have lost 62 lbs since January. Mfp, and my fitness goals have got me through this most difficult time in my life. I have great support in my family and friend, but working out had been an outlet for my sadness that no one can give me. There are days that grief overcomes me, and I lost it. But I think about my Mom, and know, she wouldn't want me to be sad. I've changed my lifestyle so I don't end up like her. She was in a lot of pain, taking 30 pills a day, so many medical conditions. I told myself I had to change for myself, my kids, and for her. I am now running in my first half marathon in 34 days. Feel fee to add me as a friend, I know what you all are going through.

Janabanana1128

Hello ladies, I have exactly the same stories as you. I was always into clean eating and working out, however after my father has passed away April 18th 2014, I stopped doing everything and every time when I'm stressed out I just tend to overeat myself. Every single time when I think about him I eat. It might sound stupid, but I find emotional comfort in food. And when I eat, especially sweets, it seems like there are no other worries on this world and I am only concentrated on the plate in front of me. I am so glad and happy that someone posted this.. it is not easy to lose someone.. everything else starts to fall apart. But we all know, deep in our hearts, how none of them would want to see us unhappy, even if that means being unhappy with our weight. So, I suggest that we should do this one for them, let's workout and eat clean and be healthy and happy! Let's tell everyone how much they have influenced us and because of them, we WILL become a better people! Let's do it together l!

Rachelgettingleaner

Amazing testimonials. I am so glad that this thread is here! Power &strength to you all, I know we can do this.

ms_smartypants

I lost 4 people this year from May to July ....I didn't log my food but I did come on here to talk to my friends (which helped) One day I said to myself these 4 people would not want me to give up on myself (that was the beginning of this month ) so I got myself out of my funk and have been going strong .....Sorry about your loss I hope you can get out of your funk and take care of yourself ....Wishing you much success

iMissMyHubs

Wow...I'm sorry for everyone's losses. My husband unexpectedly passed away earlier this year. I stopped eating and living, losing about 20 pounds in the first 2-3 weeks after his death. I only existed enough to take care of my children. Then I started eating again....fast food. I didn't have to work at it. It was already cooked for us. The pounds came back and I realized that I didn't want to just exist anymore...I really want to live, even if I'm sad and cry while buying toilet paper. Grief is wacky. Now I'm eating more fruits and veggies and I'm really trying to stay focused on myself for my children's sake and my own. I'm still sad and cry whenever it hits, but I have nutrients in my body that seem to help minimize my headaches and other symptoms of grief. You'll figure it out!! You'll get to where you want to be!

nic70127

Hi I just experienced the lost of my beloved grandmother around the same time I started my journey. Today is hard, but I'm going to still go to the gym and get off the sofa as I type this post

HippySkoppy

Firstly, my sympathy to everyone here who has lost someone they love.

Not long after starting to try to lose weight my Mum passed away from Cancer....she 'lived' for 5 months after diagnosis and in that time with the amount of round-the-clock nursing and supervision she needed it was indeed too hard for me to maintain focus on myself.

It was many long months before I had the energy and inner reserves to get back on the wagon....during the time I ate terribly, slept fitfully and simply just getting through each day was chore enough.

Eventually though the adage of time healing does come to pass....I found myself wondering if this was what my Mother would have wanted me to live like, was my life honouring her or myself. Let alone those still alive in my family....my Husband and Kids did deserve a Mum who was at her healthiest and happiest.

So slowly I got back into logging, I found that soothing in a way. I knew that I would lose weight just by counting calories even if I didn't feel up to exercise. That logging then started me focusing on the nutrient side of things too....I quickly realised I was doing no-one any favours by consuming the majority of my calories via less nutrient dense foods....so there in lay another challenge....getting adequate good nutrition. Doing this really helped, it gave me a lot of strength and helped my sleep and stopped the highs and lows of blood sugar crashes I was getting.

Then came exercise....I LOVE walking, I always have, I find it freeing and very meditative so I started going for walks. Getting out in the fresh air, sunshine or not was so uplifting. I realised that life goes on regardless. There were flowers blooming and people to wave at and say a quick Hello on the trails....it helped with my feelings of isolation and stagnation.

I wish everyone all the best....take it slowly. Be kind to yourself and look after yourself as well as you can possibly manage.....The darkness does lift and time does heal.

{{{Hugs to you all}}}