Do it for yourself - not to prove a point to someone who rejected you in the past!
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tomnev1
Posts: 184 Member
I bumped into a girl I once asked out. At the time, I was quite heavy and she was very beautiful, thin, had a pretty face and great smile and we would have had a lot of similar interests. Like any person who ever tries to ask someone out and gets rejected, I was gutted. That was about 15 years ago. I had since met her about three or four times since, most recently about 9 years ago, and she was still looking hot.
I bumped into her yesterday at my cousin's house; her parents and my uncle and aunt were friends. All of my cousin's were coming up to me saying how fantastic I looked, not that I've lost weight. But she had put on about 60 pounds since I last saw her. Instead of feeling that there was some kind of poetic karma that she had disimproved from the time she wouldn't give me the time of day, I felt the entire opposite. I just wanted to encourage her to go out jogging and get healthy.
I then realised that when I was overweight I was quite jealous of people who were thin and beautiful. And it got me nowhere.
So remember to do it for yourself and your own family and the people.
I bumped into her yesterday at my cousin's house; her parents and my uncle and aunt were friends. All of my cousin's were coming up to me saying how fantastic I looked, not that I've lost weight. But she had put on about 60 pounds since I last saw her. Instead of feeling that there was some kind of poetic karma that she had disimproved from the time she wouldn't give me the time of day, I felt the entire opposite. I just wanted to encourage her to go out jogging and get healthy.
I then realised that when I was overweight I was quite jealous of people who were thin and beautiful. And it got me nowhere.
So remember to do it for yourself and your own family and the people.
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That's true. I experienced this from the other side. I rejected a guy because at his size I just wasn't physically attracted to him. He lost loads of body fat and got quite buff but I never once thought 'damn that serves me right '. It doesn't work that way. I was really happy for him.0
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Whitezombiegirl wrote: »That's true. I experienced this from the other side. I rejected a guy because at his size I just wasn't physically attracted to him. He lost loads of body fat and got quite buff but I never once thought 'damn that serves me right '. It doesn't work that way. I was really happy for him.
If you are single and he asked you out now (and assuming the only reason you rejected him was physical and not because of his personality), would you say yes?0 -
I bumped into a girl I once asked out. At the time, I was quite heavy and she was very beautiful, thin, had a pretty face and great smile and we would have had a lot of similar interests. Like any person who ever tries to ask someone out and gets rejected, I was gutted. That was about 15 years ago. I had since met her about three or four times since, most recently about 9 years ago, and she was still looking hot.
I bumped into her yesterday at my cousin's house; her parents and my uncle and aunt were friends. All of my cousin's were coming up to me saying how fantastic I looked, not that I've lost weight. But she had put on about 60 pounds since I last saw her. Instead of feeling that there was some kind of poetic karma that she had disimproved from the time she wouldn't give me the time of day, I felt the entire opposite. I just wanted to encourage her to go out jogging and get healthy.
I then realised that when I was overweight I was quite jealous of people who were thin and beautiful. And it got me nowhere.
So remember to do it for yourself and your own family and the people.
That's who I do it for ...the people
And they are grateful I tell you
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I bumped into a girl I once asked out. At the time, I was quite heavy and she was very beautiful, thin, had a pretty face and great smile and we would have had a lot of similar interests. Like any person who ever tries to ask someone out and gets rejected, I was gutted. That was about 15 years ago. I had since met her about three or four times since, most recently about 9 years ago, and she was still looking hot.
I bumped into her yesterday at my cousin's house; her parents and my uncle and aunt were friends. All of my cousin's were coming up to me saying how fantastic I looked, not that I've lost weight. But she had put on about 60 pounds since I last saw her. Instead of feeling that there was some kind of poetic karma that she had disimproved from the time she wouldn't give me the time of day, I felt the entire opposite. I just wanted to encourage her to go out jogging and get healthy.
I then realised that when I was overweight I was quite jealous of people who were thin and beautiful. And it got me nowhere.
So remember to do it for yourself and your own family and the people.
That's who I do it for ...the people
And they are grateful I tell you
Lol...I meant to say "the people who are in your life now"....not just "the people" in general.0 -
If you are single and he asked you out now (and assuming the only reason you rejected him was physical and not because of his personality), would you say yes?
I'm not single but if l was I would probably give it a shot now as I would be more physically attracted to him now. I make no apologies for that. Everyone has a right to be with someone they have an attraction too- and beauty is totally subjective.0 -
Whitezombiegirl wrote: »
If you are single and he asked you out now (and assuming the only reason you rejected him was physical and not because of his personality), would you say yes?
I'm not single but if l was I would probably give it a shot now as I would be more physically attracted to him now. I make no apologies for that. Everyone has a right to be with someone they have an attraction too- and beauty is totally subjective.
That's a very fair point. It's not healthy to feel sorry for yourself as I did when I got rejected. However it's only now that I am empathising with people who rejected me because of my weight and I no longer view those girls as shallow. Most of the time I don't even think about it and I do it for my own reasons to feel good, improve my life span, etc. Having met the girl at the weekend, I didn't feel in any way annoyed that she rejected me back in the day...but back them I did feel a bit annoyed and very insecure. Now I feel like an evangelical Christian (even though I'm not religious). I just want everybody else to feel as good as I feel.
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That's a great way to be. Rejection does sting and it's easy to turn it inwards against yourself- or outwards towards the person when in reality attraction is a law unto itself.
:-)0 -
ok.0
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Hm. So why didn't you ask her out?0
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Whitezombiegirl wrote: »
If you are single and he asked you out now (and assuming the only reason you rejected him was physical and not because of his personality), would you say yes?
I'm not single but if l was I would probably give it a shot now as I would be more physically attracted to him now. I make no apologies for that. Everyone has a right to be with someone they have an attraction too- and beauty is totally subjective.
That's a very fair point. It's not healthy to feel sorry for yourself as I did when I got rejected. However it's only now that I am empathising with people who rejected me because of my weight and I no longer view those girls as shallow. Most of the time I don't even think about it and I do it for my own reasons to feel good, improve my life span, etc. Having met the girl at the weekend, I didn't feel in any way annoyed that she rejected me back in the day...but back them I did feel a bit annoyed and very insecure. Now I feel like an evangelical Christian (even though I'm not religious). I just want everybody else to feel as good as I feel.
Have you ever thought that perhaps your weight had nothing to do with why you were rejected all the time by girls?0 -
Alluminati wrote: »Whitezombiegirl wrote: »
If you are single and he asked you out now (and assuming the only reason you rejected him was physical and not because of his personality), would you say yes?
I'm not single but if l was I would probably give it a shot now as I would be more physically attracted to him now. I make no apologies for that. Everyone has a right to be with someone they have an attraction too- and beauty is totally subjective.
That's a very fair point. It's not healthy to feel sorry for yourself as I did when I got rejected. However it's only now that I am empathising with people who rejected me because of my weight and I no longer view those girls as shallow. Most of the time I don't even think about it and I do it for my own reasons to feel good, improve my life span, etc. Having met the girl at the weekend, I didn't feel in any way annoyed that she rejected me back in the day...but back them I did feel a bit annoyed and very insecure. Now I feel like an evangelical Christian (even though I'm not religious). I just want everybody else to feel as good as I feel.
Have you ever thought that perhaps your weight had nothing to do with why you were rejected all the time by girls?
Lol. I didn't get rejected all the time by girls. However that's a bit like saying "real beauty comes from within". It might be true, but let's be honest, we all judge people based on looks. It's not right, it's not wrong, it just is.
However your confidence builds up as well when you feel good. So if you look good and you have great confidence, you get more dates.0 -
How many people do weight loss just to prove a point to someone else? Arent they ultimately doing it for themselves anyway?
Whats the point in being jealous of people who are thin, if youve spent any time understanding about weight loss, then you know why they arent overweight? Whats the point in being jealous about that its 100% within a persons power to take responsibility for what they eat. If its 9 years since you last saw her then maybe you dont know whats one on in her life for her to get to that situation. I hope for her sake you didnt bang onto her about weight loss.0 -
I'm a competitive bodybuilder. Used to be rather heavy. People ask why did you do it, lose the weight, then become a bodybuilder. Initially, it was to get healthy. Then as you get more fit, you realize the amazing things you can do, that you couldn't do before. And as you continue to progress, you realize you can do more than almost anyone you know. Lift more, run faster, run further. And guess what, people notice. So the dividends for getting super fit are amazing and only get better the further you take it. Some people may think it becomes an obsession, but trust me, everything and I mean EVERYTHING is better when you are fit.0
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How many people do weight loss just to prove a point to someone else? Arent they ultimately doing it for themselves anyway?
Whats the point in being jealous of people who are thin, if youve spent any time understanding about weight loss, then you know why they arent overweight? Whats the point in being jealous about that its 100% within a persons power to take responsibility for what they eat. If its 9 years since you last saw her then maybe you dont know whats one on in her life for her to get to that situation. I hope for her sake you didnt bang onto her about weight loss.
Not sure if you read the opening post, but I felt the entire opposite of wanting to brag.
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TiberiusClaudis wrote: »I'm a competitive bodybuilder. Used to be rather heavy. People ask why did you do it, lose the weight, then become a bodybuilder. Initially, it was to get healthy. Then as you get more fit, you realize the amazing things you can do, that you couldn't do before. And as you continue to progress, you realize you can do more than almost anyone you know. Lift more, run faster, run further. And guess what, people notice. So the dividends for getting super fit are amazing and only get better the further you take it. Some people may think it becomes an obsession, but trust me, everything and I mean EVERYTHING is better when you are fit.
I'm not as super fit as you, but yes I agree that everything is better. For me, I get more kudos at work. I work in a high pressure job and even though we're not suited and booted, all the top brass come to work every day looking super sharp.
I think when you look better, your confidence goes up and you actually do a better job leading to a double whammy of benefits.
1. The work you do is better.
2. You look better presenting it too.
Finally, I think I get what you are saying when you say "EVERYTHING" is better. I agree...and so does my wife.:)0
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