Turning 40 in November and feeling defeated

Years ago before MFP became really popular and before my second child I lost 50lbs. Gained it all back with kid #2 and 4 years later I can't seem to motivate myself or keep motivated. I am turning 40 in November and am unhappy with myself regarding my weight. The people I have in my life support me, even co-workers are great. It really comes down to me. I know instant results are unrealistic so I know it will take time.

Last night I went to the store, bought some food (fresh veggies and fruits) and am going to get back on track. So far I am doing well today considering lunch was not what I planned. So, my first step was today. Step #2 is day 2.

Replies

  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    Good for you!

    Personally, exercise keeps me motivated because it makes me feel great. Are you getting enough movement in your life?

    I just turned 40 a couple of months ago. It can be a bit of a mental block, but you will get through it.
  • mish3131
    mish3131 Posts: 276 Member
    Trying to exercise is difficult due to my schedule. I sit at a desk all day so no movement, plus an hour commute each way Monday thru Friday. In my subdivision we have been having issues with black bears roaming in the evening so walking/running outside scares the crap out of me. I have to wait until my son is a sleep because he can hear the treadmill. So many people say I am making excuses, no, this is my life. I can finally get on the treadmill my 9pm. This is my life, crazy busy.
  • kallemann67
    kallemann67 Posts: 92 Member
    Is it possible you could try this? Leave work and walk 45 minutes down your bus route. Catch it wherever you you walk to. Each week as you get fitter you'll notice you're walking past that first bus stop you hit at the 45 minute marker. Sure you'll be sweaty when you get on the bus but you're on the way home. Shower as your reward.
  • kallemann67
    kallemann67 Posts: 92 Member

    plus this then cancels the need for treadmill time and you get some evening time to yourself or family.
  • CandaceGallardo
    CandaceGallardo Posts: 1 Member
    Hi I totally understand your feelings regarding turning 40 and feeling defeated! I was so excited to turn 40 and make a change but now I am almost 41 and it's just gotten worse!!! But I am her to make a change once and for all!! Amy motivation will be greatly appreciated!!!
  • brandyosu
    brandyosu Posts: 257 Member
    I promised myself that I wouldn't turn 40 weighing what I did when I turned 39 and then I did absolutely nothing different for almost the entire year. Learning that I was prediabetic, though, set the wheels turning in my brain. There are so many illnesses that can strike that we have zero control over. But Type II diabetes? Yeah, I CAN do something about that. So, about a month and a half before the big 4-0, I turned over a new eating leaf and was down 15 pounds by the big day. Now, two months later I am down almost 33 pounds total. I still have around 70 pounds to go, but now I can honestly say to myself that I will NOT start 41 weighing the same as I did when I turned 40.

    You CAN do it. It IS possible. CICO works but you have to figure out what you are willing to do. I did the first 25 pounds with ZERO exercise. After another conversation with my primary care, I decided to add in a little exercise a few days a week. I bring athletic shoes to work with me and pull up exercise videos on youtube when I have extra time to spare - I can justify it to my employer because I work a VERY sedentary job. If you don't have that option at work, maybe it is something you can do at home...before work, after work, etc. I've even had my kiddos join in with me sometimes when they think the video is funny.
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    mish3131 wrote: »
    Trying to exercise is difficult due to my schedule. I sit at a desk all day so no movement, plus an hour commute each way Monday thru Friday. In my subdivision we have been having issues with black bears roaming in the evening so walking/running outside scares the crap out of me. I have to wait until my son is a sleep because he can hear the treadmill. So many people say I am making excuses, no, this is my life. I can finally get on the treadmill my 9pm. This is my life, crazy busy.

    Difficult, sure. Impossible--NO.

    I once got more than 25,000 steps on a day when I also worked at a desk job for 8 hours. If you want to do it, you will find a way. Do you get 15-minute breaks during your work day? Use them for walking.

    Exercise isn't absolutely necessary for losing weight, but it is necessary for long-term health and for feeling energetic. If you want to be a happy, confident person and to have lots of energy for your kids, some exercise is probably part of the equation.

    I feel you on the bear thing--when I first started losing weight, I was living in an area with brown bears, cougars and coyotes. I carried spray and a big rock in my pocket...but it did make me really nervous!

    Set some small goals, reward yourself along the way and just keep adding more as you go. You don't need to have everything figured out all at once.
  • allanthfc
    allanthfc Posts: 41 Member
    Well done with step one. One day ar a time and you will get there.
  • allanthfc
    allanthfc Posts: 41 Member
    Have you tried Focus T25?

    25 mins per day is a realistic goal and should be maintainable. I've been on the Insanity version and he really does keep you motivated.
  • mish3131
    mish3131 Posts: 276 Member
    Is it possible you could try this? Leave work and walk 45 minutes down your bus route. Catch it wherever you you walk to. Each week as you get fitter you'll notice you're walking past that first bus stop you hit at the 45 minute marker. Sure you'll be sweaty when you get on the bus but you're on the way home. Shower as your reward.

    I don't take a bus, I drive. Sometimes it takes more than an hour each way. When I first lost 50lbs I would walk Target on my lunch. Since then my company has moved and there really is no where to walk except the parking garage.

  • missyjg99
    missyjg99 Posts: 246 Member
    Hey! Same boat here! I'm turning 40 in March. I lost 56lbs on mfp in 2012. Gained 100lbs with pregnancy #2. Here it is 2015 and I'm still fighting. Still going. Snails pace? Yep. But I fall down and I get back up. It's hard. Add me. You're doing great! I have been in the middle of a career switch so now things have calmed a bit I can move forward. Best of luck to you. One day at a time.
  • healthygreek
    healthygreek Posts: 2,137 Member
    Motivation comes and goes. It's best not to wait for it or depend on it. Forming good exercise and food habits will sustain you in the long run.
    Just keep doing it till it becomes a habit and then you'll find you can't do without it. Good food habits and movement.
  • obiegirl3
    obiegirl3 Posts: 1 Member
    I totally understand - turned 40 recently and I'd like to turn 41 as a healthier person. I also am at a desk 8 hours a day, and get how challenging it is. I wear a Fitbit and there are days when I literally don't take 500 steps during my work day. One thing I've done in the past is to go and walk the stairs in our building when I can. Even if I only do it for 5 minutes, that's 5 more minutes of activity than I would have gotten. I also keep hand weights in my office and will sometimes use them while on conference calls. Can you think about starting small like that? I'm also in the same boat with balancing exercise and kids/family - the only time I have to exercise is 9-10pm on Mondays and Wednesdays, which is when I go to the gym or walk outside (but no bears near me!). My husband gets Tuesdays and Thursdays at the same time.

    You've already taken a positive step - congrats on that! On to step 2 - you'll get there!
  • grangersg1993
    grangersg1993 Posts: 2 Member
    Maybe look into getting a Varidesk for the office. It allows me to stand instead of sit at my desk and its adjustable. My goal is to stand for 4 hours out of my day.
  • kallemann67
    kallemann67 Posts: 92 Member
    My mum walks her parkade. She's terrified of nature - bugs especially - so she walks up and down the parkade over an hour a day. Not sure how that is on her lungs. Don't know why I assumed you ride the bus.... funny that ...
  • jrline
    jrline Posts: 2,353 Member
    consistency is the key. I am in much better shape at 41 than I was at 30 or even 21. Good Luck on your Journey
  • jenfuss
    jenfuss Posts: 16 Member
    I get up at 5 a.m. to walk in my neighborhood. But it's dark and I am scared of loose dogs and snakes. I carry a flashlight and some pepper spray. But I totally understand being afraid. If bears were spotted in my area, I'd be a nervous wreck! But I have enjoyed walking in the early mornings this summer. It's nice to get my workout done early and sets the tone for the entire day. But it's already staying darker longer in the mornings and I don't enjoy walking in the pitch black. We don't have many street lights either. I carry a flashlight. I just ordered some Knuckle Lights from Amazon. We'll see how those work.

    Once the weather cools down (I live in the south in the US), I will walk during my lunch hour at work. That is my favorite thing to do. Then I don't have to take any time in the morning or when I get home from work. I eat my lunch at my desk, and then take my walk later in the afternoon so I'm not sweaty and overheated for too long before I go home. I am lucky in that I work upstairs and don't come in contact with many people. I change into walking clothes, walk 45 minutes, then sit and cool off in the ladies room lounge area with a big glass of water for a few minutes before I get back in work clothes. I know I'm lucky I've got that private space to cool off in, not many offices do. Then I go upstairs to my desk and just blow a fan right in my face to finish cooling off.
  • jenfuss
    jenfuss Posts: 16 Member
    Just wanted to add, good for you for getting started! I just turned 47, and I've been depressed about it too because when I was 42 I lost 40 pounds -- was determined to not spend the second half of my 40s overweight. Well, I gained it all back, every lousy pound, and here I am, facing 50 and still overweight. Can't believe I let another decade go by. Can't believe I'm letting this define my life. But I am trying again. It's all I can do. So hang in there!
  • jhmomofmany
    jhmomofmany Posts: 571 Member
    I'm turning 39 in November. :smile: Your diet is where you will lose or gain weight, exercise is what will help you feel and look better. If walking isn't practical, what else can you do? There are body weight exercises that can be done literally anywhere. Maybe there is an activity you can enjoy on weekends, even if you take your child along. Start with what you can do. Keeping an accurate food diary and a reasonable deficit is most important, though. And that takes planning and awareness, but not much time.

    Best wishes, and send me a friend request if you like. I log daily and love interacting with my pals. :)
  • Gretchen_To_Be
    Gretchen_To_Be Posts: 99 Member
    Have you tried a standing desk at work? That way you can pace constantly during the day. If you are on the phone you could get a wireless headset. Just a thought. Hang in there and move more!