Counting calories around family

tchaubela

How do you eat healthier and less when you're at some kind of family function and there is food? My family is the type that will press you to eat and then get all over you when you have only vegetables on your plate. I really don't want to have people focusing on me and asking me why I'm only eating xyz and and getting on my case about trying to lose weight. I don't want them knowing I'm trying to lose weight and I don't want to be the center of attention and have people all over me for what I'm eating and/or not eating. I'm not overweight but I am at the higher end of the "healthy" weight range and I'm just trying to lose like ten pounds. I have a family function coming up soon and I just want to get through it without having to tell anyone im dieting. My family is the type that a lot of them are overweight and will press you to eat food.

Help please!

AskTracyAnnK28

Just tell them you're having 'stomach issues'. Anything after that is none of their business

My family was like that, too. I found the 'stomach issues' excuse shuts everyone up.

rumijs

This is one of those things where you have to choose what you care about more: your health or people nagging you about your health. Personally, I get selfish in this area and feel my body is more important. People can say what they will, ask all the questions they want, try to guilt me into eating what they eat. At the end of the day I'm an adult, my own person, living my own life. So I do what I want.

tequila5000

I think if these folks were going to be over the top aggressive, I'd probably put some of the food on my plate but just not eat it. Then go back and get refills of the food that you do want to eat (salad, veggies, etc).

Or, if the family doesn't get together very often and I want to keep the peace, I might just not log for that one meal and just be OK with it and enjoy the food that has been prepared with love. Because I didn't gain all the weight overnight, so looking the other way about one meal isn't really so awful. It won't all come undone because of one big family meal.

kerenelly

My extended family are very much like that, so whenever we have a large family get together I feel the same way. I find it very difficult to count calories when we do get together. But I also treat these events as an opportunity to relax and enjoy a few beers too, so the day before and the morning of the event I usually have smaller meals, so that I can enjoy myself without obsessing over calories.

RuNaRoUnDaFiEld

Why would you just be eating vegetables? If I have a function I save 100 calories from every day that week so that I can eat more on the day.
In the end you have to make choices, do you let them control you and make you feel uncomfortable for your food choices or do you just say "Because this is what I want to eat, that is why I'm eating it" They can press but only you can give in. You are the one in control!

tincanonastring

I look at them like they're crazy for not counting their calories, whip out my food scale, and weigh my **** right there in the buffet line. My dad tried that the other day, so I weighed my food, then his food, and showed him how he was eating 1200 calories more than me. Then I asked him how he felt about that and walked away before he had a chance to answer.

Alternatively, tell them that rice and meat give you the runs. That'll shut 'em up.

Or, tell them your fork will have a little extra on it once you shove it up there *** for not minding their own business.

All jokes aside, you should never feel embarassed for taking control of your health.

tchaubela

tincanonastring wrote: »

I look at them like they're crazy for not counting their calories, whip out my food scale, and weigh my **** right there in the buffet line. My dad tried that the other day, so I weighed my food, then his food, and showed him how he was eating 1200 calories more than me. Then I asked him how he felt about that and walked away before he had a chance to answer.

Alternatively, tell them that rice and meat give you the runs. That'll shut 'em up.

Or, tell them your fork will have a little extra on it once you shove it up there *** for not minding their own business.

All jokes aside, you should never feel embarassed for taking control of your health.

This made my snorty laugh come out, lol.

Liftng4Lis

tincanonastring wrote: »

I look at them like they're crazy for not counting their calories, whip out my food scale, and weigh my **** right there in the buffet line. My dad tried that the other day, so I weighed my food, then his food, and showed him how he was eating 1200 calories more than me. Then I asked him how he felt about that and walked away before he had a chance to answer.

Alternatively, tell them that rice and meat give you the runs. That'll shut 'em up.

Or, tell them your fork will have a little extra on it once you shove it up there *** for not minding their own business.

All jokes aside, you should never feel embarassed for taking control of your health.

I love you!

Tell them the truth. It's not really their business.

SingRunTing

They all know that I'm calorie counting and sometimes get on my case about it. I get the "you're just going to do that until you know what the portion sizes should be, right?". Or the "its a celebration, relax" when its my sister's hamster's birthday or something.

I actually tend to eat less around family, just naturally. It's a combination of two things:

1. I get hyper-vigilant about what I'm eating because I know its easy to get carried away. When I go to my inlaws, I use my MIL's scale to measure my food (she's actually really supportive of this where everyone else rolls their eyes). And because I'm not in charge of the menu, I try to save calories in case the next meal is calorie dense. And what if we have cake later, right? (which leads me to point 2)
2. I don't always get my evening snack in when I'm around them. I'm used to saving calories for a snack later in the evening and so I do that when I'm there too. But I feel weird about digging out the ice cream at 9pm when no one else is.

Mezzie1024

You aren't obligated to explain. A simple, "No thanks, I'm happy with what I have on my plate right now" is a good response when they offer you chips or cake or whatever it is you're trying to avoid. If you repeat it enough, one of two things will happen: 1. They'll give up (this is less likely) or 2. It will become such an automatic response for you that you'll cease to think about it and it will cease to bother you (this is more likely).

I have a couple serious allergies, so I'm constantly refusing food. I don't always want to explain my health history, so the above is my go-to response. I've yet to lose any friends, alienate any strangers, or strain any family relationships. Food is very much a social thing, and people encouraging you to eat are usually not doing so with bad intentions; they want you to enjoy yourself, and they don't realize that to someone who's made a connection between social eating and negative consequences, indulging often leads to the opposite of enjoyment. There's no need to feel any ire towards them; just stick to your guns. Be polite, smile, talk about how delicious the fruit is (or whatever you're munching on), change the topic of conversation. It gets easier.

jemhh

I tell them I'd eat more if they were better cooks.

Kidding! Nobody pushes me to eat more so it hasn't been an issue. I'm really good at ignoring people though so I'd probably just say "ok" and then turn away.

Bshmerlie

My whole family is overweight.....they do the same thing. My solution is to avoid them all for the next 4 months and show up to Thanks giving 180 pounds. Last they saw me I was 254 pounds. BOOM!!!!

Kalikel

There are people who LOVE to knock others down, especially if the other person is succeeding at something they can't do. Forget them. Let them stew in their misery. You do your thing and be happy.

I've had a lot of teasing, some actual nastiness and one person who says, "Well, it's easy for you."

If they tease, I tease back. If here actually being nasty, I leave them to their unhappiness.

Living well really IS the best revenge.

jeffpettis

Tell them to mind their own plate!!!

...in a polite way.

SergeantSausage

A polite "bugger the hell off, it's my piehole and I'll shove what I want down it..." works like a charm every time.

davert123

I would just do what you want to and not worry about what they think. They most probably won't care anyway and if they do sod um.

atypicalsmith

tracyannk28 wrote: »

Just tell them you're having 'stomach issues'. Anything after that is none of their business

My family was like that, too. I found the 'stomach issues' excuse shuts everyone up.

That's a great idea!

tequila5000 wrote: »

I think if these folks were going to be over the top aggressive, I'd probably put some of the food on my plate but just not eat it. Then go back and get refills of the food that you do want to eat (salad, veggies, etc).

This is a great idea as well! Yep, if the food is on your plate, you they won't notice if you dump it while getting seconds on the food you want to eat.

tincanonastring wrote: »

I look at them like they're crazy for not counting their calories, whip out my food scale, and weigh my **** right there in the buffet line. My dad tried that the other day, so I weighed my food, then his food, and showed him how he was eating 1200 calories more than me. Then I asked him how he felt about that and walked away before he had a chance to answer.

Alternatively, tell them that rice and meat give you the runs. That'll shut 'em up.

Or, tell them your fork will have a little extra on it once you shove it up there *** for not minding their own business.

But this is the winner . . . . ROFL!

Francl27

Typically, I'll try to save calories for it (that day, or that week). Then I have a bit of everything I really want, and I pass on what I don't want.

To be honest, most people who see me at events and family functions wonder how I can stay thin when they see me eating (dessert is my downfall). But last time we went, for example, they bought ice cream for dessert... I can have that any time, so I passed. Same for the corn, I don't care for it that much so I didn't 'waste' calories on it. But at Christmas? I probably ate 4 pieces of pie, because I almost never have pie.

jemhh

Francl27 wrote: »

Typically, I'll try to save calories for it (that day, or that week). Then I have a bit of everything I really want, and I pass on what I don't want.

To be honest, most people who see me at events and family functions wonder how I can stay thin when they see me eating (dessert is my downfall). But last time we went, for example, they bought ice cream for dessert... I can have that any time, so I passed. Same for the corn, I don't care for it that much so I didn't 'waste' calories on it. But at Christmas? I probably ate 4 pieces of pie, because I almost never have pie.

I think that friends/family may wonder about me too. I stay in contact with most of them via Facebook so they see me post about a decadent meal or something I've baked. But they don't see the majority of what I eat so they think I eat like that all the time.

HikeCyclist

rumijs wrote: »

This is one of those things where you have to choose what you care about more: your health or people nagging you about your health. Personally, I get selfish in this area and feel my body is more important. People can say what they will, ask all the questions they want, try to guilt me into eating what they eat. At the end of the day I'm an adult, my own person, living my own life. So I do what I want.

THIS!!!!!!

Kimegatron

Tell them that you will eat them. IDK, I think that would shut them up for a second while you run away, hahahaahaha

FitMomOK

typically, i
1. get whatever i want to eat (veg or lean protein or whatever)
2. focus on conversation and usually no one notices or cares
3. if they do, i say with a smile, 'oh, no thanks. i'm good' and ask them a question about themselves to change the subject.
4. repeat 3 as much as needed

tomatoey

In your situation, I think the easiest way out of it is to lie - tell them you had a monster burger a couple of hours before arriving and there is physically no room in your gullet for more stuff. Lie and lie and lie.

tomatoey

Key with it though is to do it smiling and say things like "I really would love to but I honestly can't! I know! I'm disappointed, too. You go ahead and enjoy it, it looks amazing! Bon appetit!" (that is over the top and to be reserved for the 4th/5th invitation to chow down but you get the point.)

It helps if you don't in any way suggest criticism of how they're eating. Also change the topic as fast as you can. I think you'll still have to have a few bites here and there.

SLLRunner

tincanonastring wrote: »

I look at them like they're crazy for not counting their calories, whip out my food scale, and weigh my **** right there in the buffet line. My dad tried that the other day, so I weighed my food, then his food, and showed him how he was eating 1200 calories more than me. Then I asked him how he felt about that and walked away before he had a chance to answer.

Alternatively, tell them that rice and meat give you the runs. That'll shut 'em up.

Or, tell them your fork will have a little extra on it once you shove it up there *** for not minding their own business.

All jokes aside, you should never feel embarassed for taking control of your health.

Yep, this right here.

Lounmoun

tchaubela wrote: »

How do you eat healthier and less when you're at some kind of family function and there is food? My family is the type that will press you to eat and then get all over you when you have only vegetables on your plate. I really don't want to have people focusing on me and asking me why I'm only eating xyz and and getting on my case about trying to lose weight. I don't want them knowing I'm trying to lose weight and I don't want to be the center of attention and have people all over me for what I'm eating and/or not eating. I'm not overweight but I am at the higher end of the "healthy" weight range and I'm just trying to lose like ten pounds. I have a family function coming up soon and I just want to get through it without having to tell anyone im dieting. My family is the type that a lot of them are overweight and will press you to eat food.

Help please!

You control what goes in your body.

I would leave enough calories free for the meal so I wouldn't stress about it much.
I would take more than just vegetables so it looks like I have a balanced meal.
I would not take seconds.
I would eat slowly and drink water.
I would not tell people I am dieting or make remarks about the calorie, fat, nutritional content of the food.
Change the subject.

"Oh, thanks for offering but I'm happy with what I have. I love this corn."
"No thanks, that looks tasty but I am just not that hungry right now."
"No."
"You are being weirdly pushy about this. Is the food more important than my comfort or happiness? If it is then I am out of here."

sheldonklein

Do what you want, but in my opinion thinking that one indulgent meal means you don't care about your health or will materially impact your weight loss is itself unhealthful thinking. And if grandma made her special peach cobbler, it is unkind to refuse to eat it.

NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner

I must be super stubborn because I would be blunt. "My body, my rules". My family know I'm doing this for the long haul. Not one of them would dare comment on what and how much I eat or I would tell them to mind their own. Families should support and nurture not make you dread seeing them and have to lie.

Own your body. They cannot force you to eat anything and if they give you grief... Give them hell.

RegainFiks

tomatoey wrote: »

In your situation, I think the easiest way out of it is to lie - tell them you had a monster burger a couple of hours before arriving and there is physically no room in your gullet for more stuff. Lie and lie and lie.

This is what i do and it works perfectly.

Francl27

tomatoey wrote: »

In your situation, I think the easiest way out of it is to lie - tell them you had a monster burger a couple of hours before arriving and there is physically no room in your gullet for more stuff. Lie and lie and lie.

Or yeah, say you've been fighting a stomach bug or something... but obviously you can't use that excuse every time.