How to not get jealous of other people's success?
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1. You've lost 6 pounds on your own! Good job. Focus on your own success. I lost 70 pounds using this app, so it can be done--maybe not as quickly as your friend, but it can definitely be done.
2. Your friend basically wrecked her digestive system. You will come out on the other side of this with no surgical complications and the ability to eat normally (unless you crash diet and wreck your gallbladder like I did).
3. The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure they have enough. You're going to drive yourself crazy if you keep comparing yourself to others.0 -
Hello. Bariactric surgery person here. I've had my Lap Band for 8 years. Yup.. 8. I'm just now losing weight and keeping it off. I was morbidly obese. 320lbs at the age of 22.. Height, 5'7". It's a tool. It took me these 8 years to get that. I thought "get it, lose weight, be sexy! Woot!" No.. I work hard. It helps me with small portions, yes. But if you don't have the discipline to not snack all day, it won't help (been there.. Done that).. November 1st, 2014 I started kicking my butt into gear.. 42lbs down, and motivated. My point is, we all have struggles. You don't know how they're struggling. Keep on doing what you do. Don't worry about someone else. We're all on the same journey, we all need to support each other. Great job on your loss!0
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@tiffanymariearpaio What they did depends on the surgery. A Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (VSG) is basically turning the stomach into a tube by cutting away the excess. This is great for those who need to lose less than 100lbs and have no other health issues. A Roux-n-Y bypass (RNY) is where the top of the stomach is cut away and made into a small pouch. A section of bowel is diverted (bypassed) to cause calorie (and vitamin) malabsorption. This is the procedure for those with more than 100lbs to lose or those with additional health concerns.
In weight loss mode, the person eats less and loses weight. In maintenance mode, they eat a little more and stay at their goal weight. Just like everyone else. The mechanisms of the weight loss mode are a little different for surgery patients, but basically... eat less and lose weight. They simply have a smaller stomach, so eating less is a little easier. VSG patients don't have malabsorption issues like RNY patients, so it's considered a little less radical.
You do the best you that you can. In the end, you'll be a healthier you and probably more so than her.0 -
I understand it could be demotivating that someone who -in your opinion- was already in a better position than you, now seemingly easily got what you've worked hard for. I am familiar with this feeling. However, I like to tell myself this:
someone elses success doesn't take away from my success
someone elses beauty doesn't take away from my beauty
No matter how fit or fat someone else is, it really has no effect on you, or on how others perceive you. No matter if they got everything served to them on a silver platter, or worked 24/7 to get there; it doesn't affect you, except when you let it get to you and spend too much time thinking about them instead of about yourself. Focus on yourself, your progress, and meeting your own goals.0 -
I am always surprised by how judgmental people are of those who go down the surgery path, like those who don't are morally superior, everyone has to make the decision they believe is the best for them.
The key to self improvement, I would have thought in any area is surely to focus on your self, your goals, your strategies. As a friend I try to support and encourage my friends. If they make loads of life choices that seriously conflict with my values then perhaps I reconsider the friendship rather than using up all my energy worrying about it.0 -
Pinnacle_IAO wrote: »Actually, I pity those who needed surgery.
That's a drastic, terrible way to lose weight.
In general though, the success of others inspires me. I have friends all further along in life financially, intellectually, emotionally, professionally and some are more athletic, fit and healthy. Success is contagious, and I like hanging with life's winners, because I want to reach high and be a winner myself.
Did your wife have to tell you she detests stupid poor people in order to develop this mindset?
What the? What did I miss in his message that detests "stupid poor people"? Everything he stated were valid points..surgery is a terrible way to lose weight and there is nothing wrong with wanting to be around successful people. You took his message the wrong way apparently. Success isn't tied to how much money a person has..I think everyone should want to be surrounded by people who can teach them a thing or two so they can get more for themselves. Way to take his message and turn it into something negative.
Anyways, if a person gets weight loss surgery, good for them. But if you asked me, I'm against it completely.
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There's pretty much nothing you can do.
If you're a jealous petty person, you'll always be one.-3 -
In the pursuit of personal excellence, having standards is no vice.Pinnacle_IAO wrote: »Actually, I pity those who needed surgery.
That's a drastic, terrible way to lose weight.
In general though, the success of others inspires me. I have friends all further along in life financially, intellectually, emotionally, professionally and some are more athletic, fit and healthy. Success is contagious, and I like hanging with life's winners, because I want to reach high and be a winner myself.
Did your wife have to tell you she detests stupid poor people in order to develop this mindset?
Remember, the thread is about how NOT to be jealous of another's achievement.
We should be inspired by those who win in life and learn from them.
Vince Lombardi said...
"The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand."
You learn to be successful by mimicking the actions of those are are already successful, and just do the best you can, learning from your mistakes.
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Weight loss surgery isn't exactly the "easy way out." There is a lot they have to sacrifice to have the surgery, and they have to be very careful afterwards, as well. So, while it mays seem effortless, it isn't really.0
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Pinnacle_IAO wrote: »
In the pursuit of personal excellence, having standards is no vice.Pinnacle_IAO wrote: »Actually, I pity those who needed surgery.
That's a drastic, terrible way to lose weight.
In general though, the success of others inspires me. I have friends all further along in life financially, intellectually, emotionally, professionally and some are more athletic, fit and healthy. Success is contagious, and I like hanging with life's winners, because I want to reach high and be a winner myself.
Did your wife have to tell you she detests stupid poor people in order to develop this mindset?
Remember, the thread is about how NOT to be jealous of another's achievement.
We should be inspired by those who win in life and learn from them.
Vince Lombardi said...
"The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand."
You learn to be successful by mimicking the actions of those are are already successful, and just do the best you can, learning from your mistakes.
I have to agree! There is nothing wrong with having higher standards for living. You only get one - make it the best you can possibly make it!
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jennifer_417 wrote: »Weight loss surgery isn't exactly the "easy way out." There is a lot they have to sacrifice to have the surgery, and they have to be very careful afterwards, as well. So, while it mays seem effortless, it isn't really.
I don't get it. Why couldn't a person sacrifice eating cheeseburgers and go about it without the surgery? It's a bit stupid to make it sound like they're working real hard to lose weight when they were assisted in the process through surgery.-2 -
Sersly? A flag?
I'm just being honest. If you can't see its apples and oranges for yourself or that you have no place judging, your "friendship" with this person is over. You can't be happy and supportive for her (rendering you useless as a friend) and she will only continue to anger, hurt, and enrage you (unwittingly with her success).
So just cut your losses and move on...in short.
Just. Break. Up.-1 -
This is the attitude of a winner.dakotababy wrote: »I find it helpful if I am jealous of another's success is to become successful myself. Bigger house? Get one for myself. More muscle? Get more. Can run faster? Practice, get it.
Winners will find a way while losers will find an excuse...and be jealous of anybody who reaches a goal!
We do not have to be that person!
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Pinnacle_IAO wrote: »
This is the attitude of a winner.dakotababy wrote: »I find it helpful if I am jealous of another's success is to become successful myself. Bigger house? Get one for myself. More muscle? Get more. Can run faster? Practice, get it.
Winners will find a way while losers will find an excuse...and be jealous of anybody who reaches a goal!
We do not have to be that person!
Or it's a road to never being satisfied. Somebody out there will always have something you don't. Whatever happened to figuring out your own goals and going for it?
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I'm not saying that a person couldn't just do CICO to lose weight. I'm just saying that surgery isn't the "easy way out," the process is more difficult than most people realize. Throwing around the word "stupid" is unnecessarily combative. The point was to keep someone from being jealous of someone else's "easy" weight loss by letting her know it really isn't that easy.williamwj2014 wrote: »jennifer_417 wrote: »Weight loss surgery isn't exactly the "easy way out." There is a lot they have to sacrifice to have the surgery, and they have to be very careful afterwards, as well. So, while it mays seem effortless, it isn't really.
I don't get it. Why couldn't a person sacrifice eating cheeseburgers and go about it without the surgery? It's a bit stupid to make it sound like they're working real hard to lose weight when they were assisted in the process through surgery.
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Right, the most miserable I have ever been was when I compared myself to others.Pinnacle_IAO wrote: »
This is the attitude of a winner.dakotababy wrote: »I find it helpful if I am jealous of another's success is to become successful myself. Bigger house? Get one for myself. More muscle? Get more. Can run faster? Practice, get it.
Winners will find a way while losers will find an excuse...and be jealous of anybody who reaches a goal!
We do not have to be that person!
Or it's a road to never being satisfied. Somebody out there will always have something you don't. Whatever happened to figuring out your own goals and going for it?
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tiffanymariearpaio wrote: »Someone I know has gotten a weight loss surgery and they are losing weight really fast without really trying.
They have taken the step to have their body altered so they eat much less. That is an effort. If they don't follow through they won't lose weight or keep it off. They are probably having to think a lot about what they can eat.
You are losing weight by eating less without being surgically altered. Different way of doing it. I would say not having surgery is easier on your body even though losing weight may take longer. Do you want to have surgery? I don't.
Be glad they are doing something to improve their life. Be glad you don't have to take that step to lose weight.
I'd stop comparing to others. Some people will lose faster than you and some people will lose slower.
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@tiffanymariearpaio What they did depends on the surgery. A Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (VSG) is basically turning the stomach into a tube by cutting away the excess. This is great for those who need to lose less than 100lbs and have no other health issues. A Roux-n-Y bypass (RNY) is where the top of the stomach is cut away and made into a small pouch. A section of bowel is diverted (bypassed) to cause calorie (and vitamin) malabsorption. This is the procedure for those with more than 100lbs to lose or those with additional health concerns.
In weight loss mode, the person eats less and loses weight. In maintenance mode, they eat a little more and stay at their goal weight. Just like everyone else. The mechanisms of the weight loss mode are a little different for surgery patients, but basically... eat less and lose weight. They simply have a smaller stomach, so eating less is a little easier. VSG patients don't have malabsorption issues like RNY patients, so it's considered a little less radical.
You do the best you that you can. In the end, you'll be a healthier you and probably more so than her.
Your blog is really interesting. I've only read the 2014 entries but you have a lovely way of writing, and the level of detail is really informative @2Poufs0 -
You didn't necessarily answer my question. If it isn't an easy way out, what is it then? It isn't easy to do CICO either yet many have done it without having surgery to do it...I think those people are the real success stories, not the ones who use surgery to lose weight. I could understand surgery for loose skin but not to lose weight.jennifer_417 wrote: »
I'm not saying that a person couldn't just do CICO to lose weight. I'm just saying that surgery isn't the "easy way out," the process is more difficult than most people realize. Throwing around the word "stupid" is unnecessarily combative. The point was to keep someone from being jealous of someone else's "easy" weight loss by letting her know it really isn't that easy.williamwj2014 wrote: »jennifer_417 wrote: »Weight loss surgery isn't exactly the "easy way out." There is a lot they have to sacrifice to have the surgery, and they have to be very careful afterwards, as well. So, while it mays seem effortless, it isn't really.
I don't get it. Why couldn't a person sacrifice eating cheeseburgers and go about it without the surgery? It's a bit stupid to make it sound like they're working real hard to lose weight when they were assisted in the process through surgery.
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I haven't read all the comments, but OP in my case heckkkk there is absolutely nothing I would feel jelous about weight loss surgery, no thanks, I've lived that with some family members and it's not as pretty or ideal as you would think, I've chosen the slow way because no surgery would haved teach me what I know now.
In fact I know people who have told me that they are jelous of normal people and they miss eating like normal.
Focus on you, you are going to get there!0
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