Problems w/ TDEE and excess weight loss

TheNavet

... And it s starting too show and I am absolutely hating it.

This is going to be a very long post,sorry...

First of all, I need to be honest, I m too young to be here. I m 15. And at a very thin 49kg for 166cm despite being fit and living a rather healthy lifestyle.
I also need to insist about the fact that I do not have an eating disorder (I know what it looks like and I am deeply sorry for all those who suffer from one. You have all my support). I'm not even afraid anymore.of gaining a bit as I m literally starting to hate what I see in the mirror.

I started to change my lifestyle in November last year, weighting in at 56kg for 165cm (my growth had already stopped). I was never too fat for my height but definitely was carrying excess fat with me, which made me feel rather insecure.
I never dieted to properly call it. I simply started to be more conscious about my food choices. Fruits and vegetables found their way in my diet and I started to restrict excess snacking (I used to eat 10 HANDFULLS of sugary cereal AFTER having snacked 'properly'). I also started to excercise, following the 30 days shred.
The weight did not start coming of at the beginning however my whole frame tightened and git fitter. And then suddenly, upon coming back from a week long ski trip with my father in February, my weight dropped. Just after the trip, I weighed in at 54.5kg. 3 weeks later, I was ~51kg.
I started counting calories at that point, in an attempt to regulate my loss and maybe slow it down. I felt strong and... Still had curves and beautiful shoulders (oh do I miss them).
Then the April holidays came and I went over to my father, where I usually gained a lot. So I counted and controlled my portions more than I had before and guess what? I was a low 51kg, sometimes 50kg when I came back 10 days later. In fact I was starting to be satisfied with my body. I got compliments and I had even gotten a little lower than my goal weight. However, I did not dare to up my calories. And I kept losing. And losing. And losing.

Finally, a couple of weeks ago, I just realised how wrong what I was doing was. I was becoming weaker and had difficulties to complete my workout routine. I saw 49.9kg on the scale and it was a shocker.
I began eating consistently 1800cals a day. And two weeks ago, I upped my intake to around 1900cals to 1950. I also switched from daily weight ins to weekly ones, on Thursdays, because I absolutely detested the pressure it made me feel.
2 weeks ago, I weighted 49.9kg and ate an average of 1850.
A week ago, I weighted 49.7kg and upped my intake to what it is now.
This morning? I weighted 49kg.
And you know what s terrible? It s that this week, I had the firm belief I had done better as I felt better, and was able to do more reps in a shorter time than usually.
When, I stand, you can see the crease of a couple of my ribs under my breasts. When, I bend over, you can see every single of my ribs. I ve got no bum left to speak off, my size 34 jeans are baggy and my bras are too big. My confidence is fading slowly but surely. I ve lost my period since February. I used to feel like I was a young woman,yet now I'm starting to see the body of a child. Yet, you know, I still get compliments: 'oh you are so thin, I m jealous.' No. Just no. I don t want to be 'thin'. I want to be lean and STRONG.

Sorry for the long background story but I really need you to understand what happened and that I am conscious of what I did and am doing and that I am willing to better it. Never did I follow extreme diets or did I buy into that stuff. In fact, I even spent hours researching about nutrition and excercise so as to not make any error. But in the end I did despite trying for the best.

Now to the TDEE and activity level problem because I really am going to need help with those as my current situation has got to end.
I'm 15, 49kg, 166cm. My body fat is pretty low, scoring around 18.
My exercise is the Ripped in 30 on a daily basis and walking around school for approximatively 30mins a day. At home, I am lightly active.
So what am I in the end? Lightly or moderately active? And how many calories should I aim for? I be decided to up them to 2000 as if tonight and to keep upping them gradually. But I am afraid to destroy my metabolism by under eating in such a way. Later on, I am planning on eating at a vague excess so as to gain back q bit of fat and gain more strength notably through bodyweight excercise (gyms and weightlifting aren't accessible unless you are 16 here).

Please please do not hate on me or tell me that I am not responsible. I am. I m just terribly confused and need help as I cannot afford professional help and do not want to distress my mother with my situation. Any help will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

(I won t be able to respond for the next couple of hours however, so I apologise.)

yarwell

Eat a bit more and back off the exercise.

TheNavet

Eat a bit more and back off the exercise.

Ah something I might have omitted is the fact that I actually am trying to increase muscle mass and that... That I m not excercicing to the excess actually. And I absolutely adore the muscle I have already gained...

But thank you in any case.

Lyadeia

If you are trying to gain muscle mass, then yarwell's advice was spot on. Eat more to gain the mass, exercise less to aid in recovery.

TheNavet

If you are trying to gain muscle mass, then yarwell's advice was spot on. Eat more to gain the mass, exercise less to aid in recovery.

Ah,I needed the enlightment. So should I start including rest days?

sijomial

If you are trying to gain muscle mass, then yarwell's advice was spot on. Eat more to gain the mass, exercise less to aid in recovery.

Ah,I needed the enlightment. So should I start including rest days?

You missed or avoided the point about "eat more".
Simply add more calories week by week until you gain. It's no more complicated than that.

mounty89

Eat more. Especially as you are so young and active you need to be getting your calories in. Like sijomial says each week up the calories until you find where you can maintain and then slowly gain back some weight. You need to be in a calorie surplus to be adding muscle mass.