Lighter Life - Friend needs help

mcibty

Hey guys,

If you've seen my profile/food diary you'll know this isn't a 'I say friend but mean me' question...

A good friend of mine has recently gone on the Lighter Life diet - 600kcal A DAY in packets and shakes. She's stuck to it, and fair play, she looks a lot better for it. BUT, I spoke with her partner today (another good friend of mine), and we're worried about her.

She should technically be on the maintenance part now; introducing food, but we think she's taking it too far. Apparently if she has just the smallest bite of 'real food' (usually chicken), then she'll not eat one of her packs. She keeps moving her goal posts too. One more dress size, 5 more pounds...

She's following a colleague who also did this, who apparently looks gaunt, tired, and unhealthy, but my friend is looking at her as if she's really achieved something. I think she's slipping into an unhealthy competition with herself where less food is an achievement.

My friend tried to talk to her, but she got defensive about it, which in my mind is a red flag. She can see the packs getting stored up, but apparently all her partner cares about is doing more and more and more of the diet.

I'm worried for my friend. I think as I'm also on the weight loss journey, maybe I could help her, but I have no idea how to go about it? Sorry to bum people out, it's on my mind today!

igypsy

It's such a tricky one. Wish I could help, but I have been in a similar situation and didn't really do any good!

In varsity I had a roommate that became anorexic - I was so worried about her and there were so many alarm bells but no matter what I said/did nothing made a difference. It's difficult because making a fuss about it can sometimes make the problem worse... i.e. drawing attention to her weight/eating habits can encourage the behaviour. And it is so easy to see how this type of thing can become addictive... She used to lie to me in the end, if I asked her why she was just having some cabbage for dinner then she'd say it was because she had a massive lunch etc. It is so important to make sure she knows you are on her side...

She ended up doing a few too many all-nighters during exam time, became severely dehydrated and ended up in the clinic on a drip. Her parents, the doctor and quite a lot of time did the trick. She's healthy and happy now.

Could you talk to a parent/sibling/someone? Not to "gang up" on the person... But it sounds like some gentle, possibly professional help might be needed!

jjay23

this is a tough one. for me there are two apporaches, tough love- Tell her that yes she has achieved alot and should be damn proud but there is no way you are going to let this turn into an eating disorder, too many people care for her and thats exactly why you are telling her, yes she might be upset yes she may think you are being cruel but she needs to understand the dangerous cycle she is in and fix it sooner rather than later.

Gently gently- tell her that she should be really proud and that she has achieved so much, you know how keen she is to get to her goal but you wonder whether maybe it would be better to do it by the book like she has been, tell her you support her and want to see her triumph etc

either way i say go for it, whatever way you think suits her best. I have a colleague doing lighter life, she cant wait to incorporate food, she likes to look at the success stories on the lighter life website and see how they did it (the right way) this is her motivation

good luck hun!

mcibty

Hmm, yeah either way is a good approach. I think the loud banging approach might work better, unfortunately.