Relationships and eating habits

25sherry

My eating habits and activity levels have changed dramatically in the last eight months, I blame it on the relationship. The person I am seeing is not health conscious at all which is a big change for me. He's not very willing to try "healthier" foods either. Has anyone found an effective way of dealing this this sort of issue?

jemhh

25sherry wrote: »

My eating habits and activity levels have changed dramatically in the last eight months, I blame it on the relationship. The person I am seeing is not health conscious at all which is a big change for me. He's not very willing to try "healthier" foods either. Has anyone found an effective way of dealing this this sort of issue?

You eat what you like and he eats what he likes. The majority of restaurants have menus that with a wide enough array of foods that this is possible. Even at home, the same idea can work. One of you may eat more or less of a certain dish than the other person does, but the core of your meals can remain the same. And if it is that hugely different--let's get extreme and say he literally only eats fried chicken french fries every single day for dinner--then you have to decide if that's going to bother you long-term and whether or not it's a deal breaker for the relationship.

kk_inprogress

My husband and I have incredibly different goals. He supports me by eating what I cook when I do and when he cooks, I just fit it into my calories. I choose not to eat the snacks he buys for work and the car and we both do our own thing. It can work, it's just about attitude and deciding your goals are more important than whatever he is choosing to eat and ignore it. Or eat it in moderation.

UltraRunnerGale

This happens more often than you might think. You need to assess the situation. Can you eat different foods than he does? Does his bad eating habits affect your eating habits? That is what usually happens. The bad eater is rarely going to start eating healthy and the healthy eater is usually going to start eating more unhealthy. It's a real struggle in a relationship. You have to decide if it will work for you long-term. Good luck!!

25sherry

I agree with all of you. Guess it comes down to my own will and determination. I have thought about just cooking the healthy stuff and if he doesn't like it he can go hungry....LOL. The problem is that he is a junk food junky, always buying cookies and candy and leaves them at my house. These are a big weakness for me too. I guess I just need to bag them up and send them with him.

sashayoung72

My whole family eats different meals. I gave up doing that traditional family dinner and it has saved me a load of grief!! Some days it's a "typical" meal, like say taco salad and i make both beef and chicken. or I cook up a meat and everyone has a different side they like. My son is a carb hog, very active and thin/lean. My husband is super laid back and would eat a sandwich if i didn't fix anything. My daughter likes a lean cuisine meal or soup. I'm not worried about how everyone else is doing it, I just make it work for us.

25sherry

I can totally relate to that. When the kids were at home I used to make three different kinds of chili to please everyone.

25sherry

I would really love it if he would be interested in a healthy lifestyle and fitness.

whmscll

25sherry wrote: »

I agree with all of you. Guess it comes down to my own will and determination. I have thought about just cooking the healthy stuff and if he doesn't like it he can go hungry....LOL. The problem is that he is a junk food junky, always buying cookies and candy and leaves them at my house. These are a big weakness for me too. I guess I just need to bag them up and send them with him.

Tell him that if he leaves junk food at your house it won't be there when he comes back over. Because you will throw it away so you don't eat it. Make him take it home with him. Maybe the chore of having to bring this stuff over each time will cause him to start eating less of it. Seriously, you need to have a conversation about how these are "trigger" foods for you and while it's fine that he wants to eat them you are trying to avoid them, so you don't want them sitting around at your house tempting you.

megaiken92

My fiance is really similar, but over the years I've worn him down enough (he even did Whole 30 with me in June!). In the beginning it was a lot of willpower on my end to try and not snack as much; now that I'm really putting an effort in to lose weight I end up making two meals sometimes by making whatever I have a little healthier, or in some cases it's easy to just make the healthier food tastier than what he was always used to.

Depending on how long you've been together, I think as time progresses he may come around a little bit. In the meantime really exercise willpower and, if you're the one who cooks, find some ways to make the food healthier without really seeming like it.

rsclause

He wont be able to eat like that forever. An appreciation for good healthy food choices will take time so I would try to find some things that "aren't that bad" and slowly build. It wasn't until I committed to a healthy lifestyle that it suddenly became easy and enjoyable to eat "good" food. Hell, I had asparagus three times this week and never thought I would ever do that.

mbaker566

when I cook, I cook things I like. when he cooks, he cooks things he likes. when he cooks, I have smaller portions and try to have more meat than carbohydrate.

AsISmile

My relationship actually helped my eating habits. I leatned to eat a lot of stuff through my mother in law's cooking.

besee_2000

If he has to have something bad at your place may it please be something you wouldn't touch hungry or not. My husband loves toaster strudels and sausage pizzas. I buy enough of those to keep him happy but I would never touch them. They are just yuck to me.

If he can't respect your healthier eating requests then he'll have to love you 20lbs heavier

monicarungood

I guess I'm lucky in that my husband has a pretty solid palate for healthier foods, which I obviously love, but I still struggle with things like portion sizes. He also really loves craft beer (and so do I) but obviously I can't have that every day so sometimes I just take a sip of his and call it good.

He knows there are certain "trigger" foods that I'd just rather not have in the house. And I think sometimes if he's jonesing for something "bad" he will find a way to get that fix in more of a roundabout way. Sometimes he'll add chocolate chips to Greek yogurt or something and that's easier than going out and buying chocolate ice cream and then having to figure out what to do with it after he's had some.

Our biggest thing has been more that, on the whole, he can just have more calories than I can and still maintain his weight. So we might eat a similar portion for dinner, but then he'll snack the rest of the evening and I'll stop after that meal. Sometimes when we're getting ready for bed at night I'll come out of the bedroom and find him standing in the kitchen eating cottage cheese or something just because he doesn't want to eat it in front of me.

I love being with a more adventurous eater, even when we do occasionally get into "junk" foods because of it. I almost think an unwillingness to try healthier foods would be a long term deal breaker for me.

25sherry

I think the answer is just out outlaw the junk food in my house. I'm weak when it comes to that stuff. Guess he will have to eat my way or eat before he comes over. I do think Megaiken92 is right, he may start to come around in time especially if I don't tell him that its healthy, just concentrate on flavor.