GreyKnight (Mike) checking in!

GreyKnight120

Hi everyone! This is hard to write. But I need to write it. It's avoiding the hard stuff that got me into the mess that I am now in.

I'm Mike. I'm 35 years old from Connecticut. I'm 6'1". I just had my annual physical and found that I'm weighing in at 390 lbs. and really need to start making some changes.

I've been married for 3 years now. I work a sedentary job and have sedentary hobbies so I'm looking for ways to kick-start my level of activity and get out of some of the trends that have gotten me to this place.

I have been overweight since I was in 7th grade, and I've been over 300 lbs. now for probably the past 15 years. At one point I did manage to drop from 350 down to about 306 on WeightWatchers so I know I can do it. I just need to stick with it! I've been with MyFitnessPal under a different username for a long time but never very active with keeping up with my tracking. Now it seemed like a good time for a change, so I made up this new name for a fresh beginning and I don't normally ever post on the community areas, but the doc said that if my weight doesn't get down by the next annual physical we would need to start looking into surgery, and I have known many who have had the surgery and heard about some of the unpleasant side-effects, so I kind of want to take control and lose this weight on my own terms.

I have a recumbent exercise bike that needs to get used more, and an aboveground swimming pool in the back yard (for 3-4 months of the year anyway). I am a newer homeowner and have discovered a love of home improvement project work - building and carpentry, working with stone and tile and such.

One thing I know I need to get past is that I hate to sweat. At my weight now it just seems to happen so easily and I long for the days I could climb a few flights of stairs without being winded or breaking a sweat.

So all the tools are there, and the knowledge. I falter in the execution. The willpower. This has always been my weakness. I have done so much research about the process and losing weight that - if not for my current size and condition - I would probably make a great personal trainer. I just have a very difficult time finding that motivation for myself.

What more can I share here? I enjoy video games, and reading and writing, and digital painting. These are hobbies that don't burn many calories, but rather than replace them entirely I hope to add some new more active hobbies to my preferences. I want to challenge myself, and make the most of those very short 1440 minutes each day.

So here I am, beginning a journey. Trying to find what will work for me and at the same time not depriving myself entirely of the good things, but rather limiting food portion sizes, making time for exercise and still finding time for the less-active pastimes I enjoy as well.

I know there are success stories here. I know there are people who were where I am now and have lost a tremendous amount of weight, and kept it off. I hope one day to be one of those people. I refuse to let my weight go over 400. And while it may still be a long way off, I hope to one day be half the man I am today (but only in terms of weight!)

I'm sorry for my long-windedness. It is my way, I'm told. But I am glad to be here again and both hopeful and a bit anxious about the future and what's to come. Thanks for reading my intro.