Weight loss -awkward subject?

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13

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  • ald783
    ald783 Posts: 690 Member
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    Ready2Rock206 wrote: »
    When someone comments and says I've lost weight I just smile and say "thanks, just a little" and move the subject on to something else. I think it is a horrible topic and don't understand how people think it is an appropriate thing to bring up but they do. But then I see tons of posts on here where people are mad no one is talking about their weight so they are probably hanging around people like me who would never bring it up and I'm surrounded by people like them who only want to talk about it! :p

    This is exactly how I feel. When people comment on/compliment your weight loss they are almost always intending for it to be positive but I still find it to be an incredibly awkward topic. When I was first losing weight I enjoyed it more, maybe because it was early and I needed the outside validation, but over the years I got to a point where I'd just as well it not be a topic of conversation. I rarely mention someone else's weight or weight loss either for this reason. I think saying something more generic like "you look great!" still makes them feel good without making it about weight.

    But, since it will inevitably happen, just thank them and change the topic.
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
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    OP: While I love hearing people say, "Have you lost weight? You look great!" a very, very, very small part of me thinks,"So I was fat and looked like crap before?"

    However...

    Would you rather be fat? Would you rather be unhealthy and physically uncomfortable and unhappy with yourself, just you don't have to listen to people.....pay you a compliment?
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    OP you are being rather oversensitive. Crazy thinking from you. If you have lost weight and thats what your aim was its a good thing. You cnat really expect people not to comment, but if you dont wnat to talk about it then find a way of just smiling and talking about something else. You should really understand abd embrace all the positive change. It comes with the territory.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 8,984 Member
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    choppie70 wrote: »
    I guess I am the opposite!

    I went back to work yesterday after the summer off. I have lost 21 lbs since June 21. I was excited to have someone say something about my weight loss. No one said anything! I got about 8 comments about my new hair cut - it is the exact same cut and color I have had for over 5 years. :/

    Herein lies the problem of other people, those would be commenters or non commenters.
    Some people are upset that people comment, however positively, on their weight loss; others are upset that nobody seems to notice.

    So hard to know which group the would be receiver of comment will be in.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 8,984 Member
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    parfia wrote: »
    People have to notice with me because I quite often walk into the office with 'guess how much weight I've lost this week?' - but that's because I'm proud that my hard work is paying off. If it makes you uncomfortable however, as others have said, I would just casually change the subject. :)

    Not quite sure if you are joking

    I must admit I would get fed up with someone who wants me to guess how much weight they have lost every week..


  • GeddesFit
    GeddesFit Posts: 75 Member
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    Weight loss isn't something you should be ashamed of. You should be proud you're taking the steps to change your life and you're doing it! I know I feel proud and don't care what other people think. I'm putting in all the hard work to get the results I want and I know it's no laughing matter. People are going to tell you you look great. Smile about it and just keep going.
  • rockmama72
    rockmama72 Posts: 815 Member
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    I think people are often kind of in awe about someone who is making positive health changes. Not everyone does that! So they see you taking control and making progress, and they get all excited about it... hence the blurt.

    But I kind of love it when it happens! I don't talk about dieting, really, but I do have a lot of friends I talk food and healthy eating with, and everyone knows I've been rocking my Fitbit for a while now. I don't mind a little, "daaaaaaaaaang, you're doing AWESOME" when I just put on a pair of jeans I haven't worn in three years.
  • Alex
    Alex Posts: 10,145 MFP Staff
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    I cleaned up this discussion a bit, parts of it were going rather off topic. Carry on - nicely please.
  • firststepformefal
    firststepformefal Posts: 180 Member
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    Just say you prefer not to talk about it. If they persist, ask them why they are being so rude. That usually shuts them up.
  • r15shep
    r15shep Posts: 4 Member
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    I hate getting comments/questions like that too. I know it is meant to be a compliment, but when someone tells me look "so good," in the back of my mind all I can think is "So you thought I looked awful before?" I feel much more positive when I get comments about the strength I've gained. Or, better yet, don't comment on my body at all.
  • lbrodnax83
    lbrodnax83 Posts: 20 Member
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    I'm down a smidgen under 70 pounds since Valentines Day. This happens to me a LOT. I'm with Boogie... If it's a new person and they ask I'm usually flattered and give them the diet + exercise answer... But some people (co workers, people I see @ the gym) comment *constantly*... I totally get where you're coming from... If you're not comfortable responding just be polite and move on... Don't let anyone tell you how to FEEL! :)
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,055 Member
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    You can't stop them noticing, and maybe complimenting (in ways you may or may not see as a compliment), unfortunately. My main conversational tactic when I don't want to discuss it is something like "Thanks! I figure eating habits are really kind of a bore to talk about, aren't they?" then change the subject.
  • Frequently_Fabulous
    Frequently_Fabulous Posts: 132 Member
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    I'm a little confused- What do you think will happen if they comment that you've lost weight or ask about your dieting? I think it's admirable to try to be healthy. Say "thank you" and then change the subject if you don't want to talk about it.
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
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    I personally don't mind, though I can see how some people would. I mean, a comment above was something thinking 'you thought i was fat and ugly before?' and I can see that. I know I was fat, though, and when someone notices that I've lost the weight, it basically validates all my hard work getting to that point. However, I don't discuss it unless they ask how I did and go from there. If even talking about it bothers you and someone comments, just say "Yes I have, thanks." and change the subject. They probably don't mean anything beyond paying you a compliment or being nice. Saying Thanks acknowledges that, and changing the subject moves the conversation into a more comfortable place for you. You don't HAVE to discuss it with anyone if you don't want to, and most people take that hint.
  • Merkavar
    Merkavar Posts: 3,082 Member
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    Sounds a lot like people need to stop turning compliments into back handed insults in their head.

    When someone says "you look good" it means you look good, not that you looked like a hideous monster previously.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,339 Member
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    suziecue20 wrote: »
    I would take people noticing my weight loss as a compliment and can't wait for people to fuss over me. Only lost 4lbs so far but the other day my o/h half said ' hey your tits have overtaken your gut already' lol

    LOL...round here that's a compliment too!
  • GeddesFit
    GeddesFit Posts: 75 Member
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    Merkavar wrote: »
    Sounds a lot like people need to stop turning compliments into back handed insults in their head.

    When someone says "you look good" it means you look good, not that you looked like a hideous monster previously.

    Exactly!!! Feel good about yourself if people are noticing enough to say something!
  • alfonsinarosinsky
    alfonsinarosinsky Posts: 198 Member
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    Domicinator wrote: »
    I learned to enjoy the positive attention over time. Eventually it will be your new normal and nobody will notice anymore.

    What I hate is people telling me to stop and trying to shove food down my throat. I've lost 50 lbs and look drastically different than I used to, but I'm still not in the normal weight range for my height. I have a lot of belly fat that still needs to go...about 25 more lbs worth to be exact. Yet some people are actively encouraging me to stop. That's what I find most frustrating.

    This ^
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    No. I'm comfortable with my body. Was I fat before? Yes. Did people notice? Yes. Am I less fat now? You bet.
  • adam_g85
    adam_g85 Posts: 8 Member
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    One of the reasons people ask is because they see how well you have done and they may need tips. Use your opportunity to help the people that may be struggling to achieve their goals.

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