Scared of Dating after 20 year marriage

leslisa
leslisa Posts: 1,350 Member
in Chit-Chat
Short story. Married 20 years. Together 25 years. Husband left me for a 31 year old woman.

Not ready to date yet but when I even think about dating, it literally terrifies me. I mean where/how do you meet people. I've heard that every man over 40 is looking for sex and not a relationship. I don't think that's true but then what the heck do I know? Any optimism or advice for me? Another friend of mine indicates all the dating sites are BS. Is that true, too?

Replies

  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
    Hi. I'm a widow and lost my husband just over a year ago. If you're scared to date, don't. Enjoy discovering who you are as a single woman. I've begun dating and my experience has been that men in their 20's are looking for sex, men in their 30's are either looking for a relationship or marriage along with wanting children, and men above 40 are looking for marriage. That's been MY experience. I'm looking for none of those. Just someone to hang out with of the opposite sex with no pressure.

  • jaxass
    jaxass Posts: 2,128 Member
    This is my 16th year after my divorce and I've had 2 girlsfriend over a 3 year period. The last "date" I went on was probably 8 years ago. I don't need someone to make me happy or complete me. I have a group of friends (male and female) and we all get together from time to time and just hang out. That's enough for me. Besides, when it happens, it will happen.

    I'm 47, not looking for a relationship, kids or sex. However, if sex and a relationship happens, I'll accept it. NO MORE KIDS!

  • melmelw03
    melmelw03 Posts: 5,332 Member
    The dating scene is crazy! Tried online dating once for like a week and I was out! Maybe it was too much, too soon for me. After 15 years of marriage, I felt like I was completely clueless and had no game! I'm taking things very slow....if you are scared I suggest you do the same. Do not feel pressured to jump right out there. But no harm in talking to people and getting to know them. Stay away from the ones who want to have "Netflix Dates"! Haha! Unless you're looking for just a casual Netflix date type experience....no judgements!

    I have had 2 relationships and now am casually dating, but am extremely happy with myself and finding out who I am again. I don't want to get with someone just to fill a void. I don't need someone to complete me or be my happiness. I am happy. If I find someone to SHARE that with me, then how awesome is that?! :)
    Good luck!

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