New Start today

Nikion901

Have you ever wanted to re-invent yourself? I have.

Today, I did just that here on My Fitness Pal. Because today I created a new profile for myself with the Premium Membership ... consider it ernest money spent for the next 365 days. I tend toward getting the most for my buck whenever I can and, karma-like, thought that shelling out the fifty-bucks was setting it in my mind that I am committed to this effort.

I am officially obese ... here is the definition of that term from www.medicalnewstoday.com/info/obesity/ ...
... If a person's bodyweight is at least 20% higher than it should be, he or she is considered obese. If your Body Mass Index (BMI) is between 25 and 29.9 you are considered overweight. If your BMI is 30 or over you are considered obese...

Today, I am 25,735 days old ( give or take a fraction) and I became officially classified as obese on day 13,665 ... that is the date my weight was recorded as being 185 pounds at the doctor's office ... and that is 12,070 days of being unhealthy because of my weight... folks, that's 33 years! That's almost half my lifetime.

Enough, I tell myself. I was 37 years old back then, now I am 70 and by the time I am 72 I intend to be back to below that rating.

So ... why the new start? After all, I have been a MFP logger for a number of years under a different identity ... why close that one out and start a new one? Because I believe that if you continue doing the same thing you cannot expect different results. That identity started on MFP on 1/22/2008 when I weighed in at my highest ever ... 278 pounds. Since that time I have been down to as low as 245 a couple of times and had climbed back up to 273 at the end of 2012 and was back at 245 in January of this year ... but my last weigh in at the doctors showed I am creeping back up again, and today I weighed in at home at just over 250. That is not where I want to be. That is not where I should be. That is just not acceptable... and I am desperate to try something novel to motivate myself to keep at this struggle ... that's why.

If there are other senior citizens on MFP who want to share and support together with me, I would like to hear from you.

I am not opposed to younger folks ... you are all just great ... and certainly the same principles apply to any age group trying to lose and maintain weight loss ... it's just that I have this mindset which thinks people my age have such different health issues and life styles that someone much younger would not get much benefit from being friends with me ... our worlds are just so different. Understand? Offended? Please don't be. Really, I am not an old snob. Just old.
My motto is "Follow-Through"
My name is Niki.

PinkPixiexox

Hi Niki!
You have a fantastic attitude and this will get you far! Wishing you the best of luck in your brand new journey. You won't regret it!

Nikion901

So it is 15 days into the new month and this new start of mine. Yesterday the scale showed that I was down a few pounds ... the same amount that I can fluctuate from day to day depending on water retention and bowel activity. So I think I am the same.

I had set my goals aggressively and have hit those caloric restrictions on about half of the days. The other half I have eaten a slow loss, a maintain, or gain indicator when I complete my log. Therefore I can see that my eating pattern has not changed either. Nor, as I reflect on how I spent my days, have my activity habits changed.

So I ask myself ... why am I doing this if I am not making the changes I know need be made to see new results?

Then last night my subconsious must have worked on that question because this morning I had a new question raise up in my thoughts as I prepared my breakfast ... what if you are focusing on the wrong 'numbers' ... perhaps what needs to be focused on is one particular new number, and only one ... not the scale number, but the tape measure number across you belly? ...

.... I think this thought came to mind because I wore a flannel shirt yesterday that I have owned for about 15 years but haven't worn in a number of months. It fit in the shoulders, it fit over my chest, and then when it came down to about the 4th button I couldn't button it because the cloth didn't meet over the top of my abdomen. By the time the shirt reached my belly-button, there was a definite upside-down V as the shirt beneath showed through the separation by a a couple of inches, and by the time the last button, across my belly flap. was reached the gap was very wide.

Later that evening, as I sat in front of the same computer monitor that I sit at now, I looked down at the round bulge between my arms and noticed that the shirt was splayed open far more than om the previous description. So I took out the tape measure and found that the spread from button to button hole was 11 inches across my belly-button.

Thus thought this morning was ... what do I need to do to get rid of that extra 11 inches in my girth so that this shirt would button up all the way down once again?

And that is where I am left today, pondering the steps and actions I need to incorporate into my days to achieve that end ... Button the Shirt ALL the Way Down.

Nikion901

I have been on a carbohydrate binge. Shopped at Euro-Deli on Tuesday, the 15th, and brought home two packages of carb treats ... one was a package of 6 chocolatey biscuits from Poland ... very small bundle and tasted good so I ate them all. Also picked up a package of Ukranian bread circles ... kind of like pretzels but not. Addictive. Needless to say, I ate pretty much nothing but them plus a couple glasses of milk.

Also went to Wegman's that evening because I needed cat food and ended up spending over 100-hundred dollars. Among my purchases was a half pound package of 3 cold cuts ... Sahlens boiled ham, Wegman's roast turkey, and Wegman's hard salami. That's cause the sub shop was already closed when I got to it and I wanted that kind of supper. Picked up some rolls ...4 of them ... and ate cold cuts for the next few days.

Today, I had to get gas, and more cat food and wanted to get out early ... ended up not being until closer to noon ... but I went to McDonalds for breakfast before hitting Top's for the food stuffs. Ended up with 2 breakfast sandwiches, then added a Wendy's chili and frosty to the food by having it for lunch. I had also stopped at Euro-Deli again ... I'd picked up some gherkins and 3 apples when I was there on Tuesday and wanted to know what those apples were. Bought 3 big ones (to make apple cake) and 3 medium ones to eat out of hand. But then, I also picked up a little package of chocolate covered dried cherries and a 500 gram package of Ukranian Gingerbread cookies ... that was my food today, as well as 2 regular sized Hershey chocolate with almonds. .... like I said, I'm carb crazy ... not only today, but the entire week.

I don't understand anything about me.

Nikion901

Was it only 2 days ago that I last posted? ... hmm ... well, I didn't want to write in a paper journal, so here is what came to mind this morning.

I crave sweet/starch and fatty ... you know, if I eat a slice of bread I'll progress to several more during the course of the day, and I'll be looking to put something sweet on some of those slices. If I eat sweetness in a form that has sugar in it (candy, cookie, jam,) then I will crave more of it and also will crave bread, pasta. Then, if I eat a cold cut, I will crave more cold cut ... with kielbasa types being the hardest to stay away from ... have a piece of polish sausage means have it all, have some hard salami in a sandwich or on a salad and I will go back to it again later plus it will be the first food I reach for the next day. Then also, I'll really be eying those rows of potato chips or other such fair at the grocery store.

Yesterday I ordered a half chicken BLT sub sandwich on wheat roll ... and and a small order of fries, and an order of fried mushrooms. ... And then I followed it up with a desert of a slice of Bavarian preium sandwich bread with a fat glob of peanut butter and a couple of plums from the Israeli homestyle canned plums in syrup thicker than honey. I ended up fishing out all the rest of the plums and gobbling them up so that I wouldn't reach for that jar of sweetness any longer. And, I won't be purchasing that brands homestyle cooked fruit any longer when I visit the Euro-Deli.

That doesn't happen when I stay away from bread products

berngres

Today is my first day back just stated going to the gym and watching what I eat It is so difficult some times but I am doing a new thing talking my myself to get up in the am and go to the gym lots of willpower there. I recently became a gramma and thats enough fuel for me. He is so adorable and 1 month old I will start babysitting him when he is 4 months old and want to be ready for when he gets moving! Need lots of encourament to keep going becase my goal looks so far out now I will be good if it shrinks on a regular basis. Wish me luck please

JanolaBarbara

@Nikion901 : I am a middle-aged, pre-menopausal, retired woman who has been chubby all her life (except during my 30s when I lost 65 lbs thanks to Weight Watchers). Diabetes runs in my family, and has been a big specter in my life; a lot of my choices were made so that I can avoid the "family curse". On top of that, mental illness (depression, OCD, bipolar disorder) also runs in my family. (What a family of winners, right? XD) I tell you this so that maybe you can see that we may have a little bit in common. :-)

I've been reading your posts, and I must say, you eat a lot of yummy food! Are you having any success in your journey? You said yourself that if you don't change, then nothing will change, and that is so true. I think you should start slowly by honestly tracking everything you eat and drink. Every little bite-lick-taste. And, if you can, you should measure everything. For 3 days to one week. That way, you have a starting point. Being honest and measuring your food is enough of a challenge for now.

Also, you don't mention any activity. What do you do for exercise? Walk? Swim? Zoomba? Keeping track of your calories is important, but exercise is the other piece of the puzzle.

I hope you are not offended by my comments. It seems that you are so determined to do this, and I so want you to be successful! You can add me as a friend if you want (or not, that's OK). If you do, then you can check out my food diary and see what I eat.

Nikion901

So, today, after getting some chores out of the way early in the morning, I am taking time to read through my community threads and make some updates. I was pleasantly suprised that a couple of people read my post and commented back to me. Thank you so much for that.

While I have been using MFP for about 3 years, and have been an active thread participant for the last year (under a now defunct ID) I never started a thread myself. To do so on Sept 1st was an act of commitment to myself by being public about my weight issues. It's like the first time, a long time ago, when I publicly described myself as obese ... I was 'coming out of the closet' so to speak ... to myself at least because anyone looking at me could see right off that I was overweight!. It was about then that I stopped hiding out when I was eating food I knew would look bad for someone my size to be eating ... like a BigMac and fries, or a donut, or a candy bar, or an ice cream cone. I used to eat those foods hidden away from stranger eyes ... like if no one saw me eat this stuff than I didn't have to own up to having done so. Posting a thread was a public admission that I cannot do this thing on my own. We don't live our lives in a vacuum, so to speak; and 'no man is an island' is another quote that comes to mind. Just knowing that I am not alone in my desire for a healthier me helps me realize that I'm not the first and will not be the last woman who has this struggle ... that it is a condition many others are struggling with, just like me. That there are a many who have succeeded, and a few who have done so spectacularly. And, if they an do it, then why not me too?

As for the ones who shared with me ... I would like to share back to you.

@berngres ... I do wish you luck. A new baby in the family is a good motivator to make a healthful change in your life ... for the sake of the baby and for your desire to fully share in this child's growth. ...


@JanolaBarbara ... Ah, to be your age and living in the fair Pacific northwest! How great that is! I've never been there but have always wanted to ... I image it as a warmer and balmier Cape Cod ...

Reading through the comments, it occurred to me that there is a first step, second step rule of engagement in this battle to change, or actually, to do anything with intent. With weight loss, awareness is step 1 ... that's where the logging of food comes in ... to let you see exactly what kind of food and how much of it one is consuming. Also to help clarify what our taste buds are leading us to consume on a habitual basis. Unfortunately, logging food does not actually prevent a person from binge-eating, or over-eating, or selecting less nutritious or high-calorie food over better choices. That particular action takes something else, something more, something that sometimes is elusive. It's that something that some of us have better control over than some other people, or even than ourselves under a different set of circumstances. Part of that 'logging your food' exercise should include what went on peripherally to the actual consumption of the food. Like ... how was I feeling, what happened around the time that I did or didn't eat 'correctly', what was my mood? To log all that to get a better understanding of ones own pattern is a time-consuming task. Too much to do on a regular basis, still however, a good activity to participate on occasion.

But, I digress ... what I want to make note of is that I have a timeline. My timeline has an target date exactly 18 months from now, when I will reach my 72nd birthday. That's the long timeline. It's too far away from this moment in time. The task is too huge to fathom at this moment in time. I cannot think of it as one big 'thing'. I need to break it down to little bits and pieces. My first bit ends on October 3rd. My next step ends on October 31st. None of the goals have a specific number in mind. What they do have in common is a list of activities that must be completed by those milestones. They are simple activities but are cumulative in nature and, should I follow through, I will see a completely different 'world' than I see right this minute.

I'll keep reporting in on this thread as time goes on. I want to be able to report successes with those timelines.
Follow-through

Nikion901

October 1 ... starting this month off with an additional 5 pounds to trim off ... which is my goal for October. I will set my goal in 5-pound increments as that seems to be my magic number.

Nikion901

October 31 ... this morning I can celebrate the success of having trimmed off the 5 pound goal I set on Oct 1. My goal for the next 2 months is to get back to what I weighed on 12/31/14 .. another 7 pounds down.

And reading back to my Sept 24 post, I see that I have reached a deadline for 'My next step' ... which was actually about my decluttering project. As of this writing, I am about half-way to completion. The completion of the rest is set for the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

Nikion901

Nov 2 - Monday Weigh In ... 247.8 pounds. That brings me within 5 pounds of my December 31 weight. Oh Lord .. I would so much want to see that I have lost double what I need to get back to that weight so I can end 2015 5 pounds lighter than I ended 2014 at.

Do I have the willpower to continue the eating that I have done in October for another 8 weeks? Can I stay the carb cravings that will be bloomed by the store displays for holiday treats, my growing desire to bake, and gatherings that I might partake in? Can I find ways to increase my activity levels so that any of that kind of eating is used up instead of absorbed? Is my desire for that magic number in the 230's strong enough, especially knowing that the road ahead is a long one for me? ...

... Again Niki ... break it down in your thinking ... remember "How do you eat an Elephant" ... (thank you Ried V K) ...
as of this morning's good weigh-in (on a day where I am not swollen with fluid retention or on the hold-it side of my IBS) ... I have 83 pounds to lose to get to my goal weight and I have 501 days to get there ... that is just .17 pounds a day (about 2.65 ounces) to trim each and every day to get there. I can get there by losing just 1 pound a week.

Yes, you have done math like this in the past for future projections over different time spans ... but those time spans always were for shorter periods of time ... time spans that meant you had to lose up to 3 pounds a week on a continual basis. And you know how fast you can put the weight on and then how absolutely slowly that weight comes off ... but you have also learned more each time that you must not forget about ...

1. Limit your carbs per meal to about 45 grams for 2 meals. For a carb-heavy meal, aim for 60-80 grams; that's one to two-and a half more servings of carb on that third meal. That's doable even on a pasta or sandwich meal ... Portions Count!
2. Watch the fruit ... no more than 2 servings a day ... choose berries when you can; apples raise you BGC more than bananas do, so only buy very small apples; tangerine, peaches, and plums are great, you overeat on melons, grapes, cherries, and pineapple, so watch out for those ... freeze them in small pieces instead of eating them fresh.
3. Mix it up on breakfasts ... have oatmeal but not every day, sometimes do cornmeal or farina, and eggs; do eggs (can you finally master a true soft-boiled egg?)
4. It's ok to have bread ... just not a half-pound of it at a time ... more like 1 or 1.7 ounces at a time.
5. Get the protein from a variety of sources ... and remember that 3 ounces at a time is plenty if it is meat based. Include nuts and seeds into your diet every day ... they are a protein source. Eat more beans and legumes on a weekly basis ... but remember, too much of those set off a carb craving, so watch the portions.
6. Do your own cooking ... even if it's just prepping raw vegetables into a salad ... do it yourself from simple to hard.
7. Remember "Strive for Five" ... that means to get 5 fruits and veggies a day ... so 3 servings of veggies a day. Mix them up ... cause you tend to stick with the same few.
8. When you have cravings, look at the chart of "What your body needs" ... remember that a craving for chocolate means you need magneseium.
9. Do get salt into your diet ... but not from prepackaged foods that tend to contain a lot of it. You do best when the total sodium is under 1500 for the day. Remember, 1 hotdog is half that amount, and 1/2 cup pasta sauce is usually more than 1/3rd ... and canned soup/gravy/stock ... almost an entire days worth!
10. Do something everyday that makes you move about, otherwise you will be sitting or laying 90% of the time.

JanolaBarbara

These look like good guidelines. Good luck this month! I hope you are successful! I like that you broke down your weightloss into ounces a day. That makes it so much more reasonable. Slow and steady wins the race, right?

Nikion901

Thanks @JanolaBarbara, for both reading my post and for your encouragement. You are correct, slow and steady is the key, for me. Good luck for your endeavors also.

Nikion901

This is December 1, 2015 ... and it is my monthly check-in day.

I've been tossing about the idea of changing my focus from calories and poundage to the tape measure. It's probably possible to focus on both. However, I find my prediliction is to put more emphasis on the pounds and they do fluctuate up and down a narrow range quite a bit from day to day; which is discouraging.

Taking a look back in my records I found measurements taken at a gym and I can see that today I am 14 pounds and 6 torso inches less than I was at that time. So I have decided to see how soon I can duplicate those reductions.

The plan for this involves putting the focus on body movement; because at age 70 I find myself much more restive and less mobile than is healthy for me.

Nikion901

This is December 31, 2015 ... and i weighed myself this morning ... 251. That puts me at 4 pounds heavier than I was 365 days ago. But more depressingly, that puts me at 12 pounds over what I was on Feb 9th, but 4 pounds lower than I was on May 18th .. what happened between February and May? I gained back some of the weight I had been steadily trending downward since July 2014.

Somewhere along the way I started to plateau, which has happened so often in the past. The rest of the year was mostly spent trying to figure out what to do to make it move in the correct direction. I recalled that in the past 3 decades that when I stopped 'dieting' and let my weight settle that it fluctuated within a narrow range and that I could start reducing food intake again after some months and see a further downward move. I would feel happy if I ended the year at a lower weight than when I started it. I ended 2012 at 273 pounds, 2013 ended at 254 pounds, 2014 at 247 pounds. I'm dissapointed that 2015 is ending on a slide backward.

However, I am nearing the end of the timeframe that I've come to call 'reset' in my mind. That means I can start providing less calories again and should expect to see a steady but slow decline pick up once again.

My goal for 2016 is to duplicate the loss I had during 2013 and end this year at about 230 pounds. My dream is to end the year with double that loss .. however I will feel well satisfied if I can lose 20 and maintain that loss without a resurgence in gains. I will be 72 in March 2017 ... and I so want to be at at 175 on that birthdate! That means I need to lose 40 pounds a year, give or take a couple. is this something I can accomplish? Historical records are not encouraging that it can be done withing the timeframe I've set for myself, especially since 2015 didn't trim it's share of the burden like it was planned to have done. So ... I need to work 30% harder at it, that's all.

To do that, I need to burn more calories than I take in ... but not below my BMR between cuts from food cuts and additional expenditures. And, as my old bones. ligaments, tendons, and muscles are in bad shape, I think that my activity goals need to be modest. No jumping jacks for this 'old broad' as a walk around the block is more in keeping with current capabilities. Thus. .... a daily walk OUTSIDE the house, non-stop starting at 5 minutes at a time. I'll increase the time as I am able to do throughout the rest of the year.

I need a moniker for this goal of daily outdoor walking ... something catchy that is easy to remember.